What word in the English language does the following: the first two letters signify a male, the first three letters signify a female, the first four letters signify a great, while the entire world signifies a great woman. What is the word?

Heroine

While visiting a friend in the hospital, a young man notices several gorgeous nurses, each one of them wearing a pin designed to look like an apple. “What does the pin signify?” he asks one of them.

“Oh, nothing,” she says with a chuckle. “We just use it to keep the doctors away.”

Why didn't they make today a national holiday to signify the first moon landing?

Because everyone hates moon days.

One day, a lawyer finds a genie's lamp.

The lawyer rubs the lamp, and the genie comes out.


"You have three wishes," the genie says. "The only rule is that you can't wish for more wishes."


After thinking for a while, the lawyer finally says, "I wish the word *splork* were interchangeable with the word *wish*. Nex...

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One Pope, in the Dark Ages, decreed that all Jews had to leave Rome...

...The Jews did not want to leave, and so the Pope challenged them to a disputation to prove that they could remain. No one, however wanted the responsibility… until the synagogue janitor, Moishe, volunteered.

As there was nobody else who wanted to go, Moishe was given the task. But because h...

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Three men on their lunch break *LONG*

Three men were working together on the 40th floor construction of the Empire State Building.
An American, an Italian, and a Canadian.

A loud horn is heard signifying lunch, and all three men sat together, on the edge, their feet dangling a hundreds of feet in the air.

The American o...

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A homeless wino went into the doctors office for an infected foot...

The doctor treated the injury, but before letting him go, he asked his patient to stay for a small demonstration.

The doctor brought out a tray, which held a bowl of worms, and two glasses - one full of milk, the other of whiskey.

The doctor set the glasses on the table and told the wi...

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An itch in the knee?

A Japanese father and son were stationed at a siege tower to guard the tower's hatch. Suddenly, the father felt an itch on his left knee.

Back in the day, the Japanese thought that having an itch in the knee was a bad omen, often signifying an imminent enemy attack.

He knew that ther...

The Sleeping Scotsman

A Scotsman decides one day he'd pass the time by walking the countryside. After a couple of hours, he comes to the top of a hill and sees a road down below him.


"I don't remember there being a road here. I must be more lost than I thought!"


Before trying to trek his way back ...

A pious woman was possessed by a demon

She went to her priest, desperate to relieve herself of this burden. After a few silent rituals, she was rid of the demon. As she was exiting though, the priest extended his hand, signifying he was due payment. The woman replied, "Oh, but father, I have no money!"

She was repossessed.

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