LPT: Sweet tasting urine is often the first symptom for those with undiagnosed diabetes. In related news..

.. my hamster has diabetes.

Which word has 6 letters, starts with an N and ends with an R and is related to a Race

NASCAR

It turns out that I’m related to the man who invented the globe.

It’s a small world.

If what they say about the size of a man’s package being related to his shoe size is true...

No wonder everybody’s looking for Bigfoot.

If you like pee related puns...

then *urine* for a treat.

I'm a Sikh and really tired of hearing "sikh" puns on any post related to Sikhs

I'm sikh of this joke.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Girls complain about having large boobs and how they get in the way. I can relate...

But I'm a guy.

It dawned on me in the shower that my ex gf must be related to hurricane Dorian. You've been waiting for them to come but they just keep gyrating until they exhaust themselves.

The worst though is when you see the video of them ravaging and gushing all over their previous fling, leaving you feeling completely inadequate and devastated.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The doctor says I’m addicted to everything Japan related.

I don’t know what is he talking about. I’m normal , hentai?

Embarrassing Fart Story

Here’s one that a lot of y’all can probably relate to. I’m probably gonna add more to it at some point.

.......

One day in third grade we were all sitting on the carpet listening to our teacher read something. My stomach hadn’t been too kind to me that day. .......


You know...

I like the way you're thinking.

Teacher: 3 birds are sitting on top of a roof and someone throws a rock and hits one off. How many birds are left?
Student: There are none left because the other two fly away whenever the other one is hit.
Teacher: Well actually there's still two left but I like the way you're thinking.
...

Comedians will often ask rhetorical questions in order to get the audience on board with them or to relate to them.

How stupid is that?!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Trump was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the discussion on the word “tragedy”. So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a “tragedy”.

One little boy stood up and offered: “If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs ove...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My buddy jokingly asked me, "If I shagged your wife, would that make us related?"

I said, "No man, that would just make us even."

Police related jokes aren’t funny

So give it arrest

My girlfriend dumped me because she says I relate everything to Batman

..what a joker.

My girlfriend left me because I'm too understanding.

I can relate to that.

I can totally relate to batteries

I'm not included in anything either.

Why don't redheads listen to Soul music?

They can't relate to it.

How are Princess Diana, Dale Earnhardt, and Pink Floyd related?

Their last greatest hit was The Wall.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An 80 year old man arrives at his doctors appointment

He sits down and the doctor proceeds to do his normal routine.

*Doctor:* So how are things going lately?

*Man:* Pretty good. I got married to a 20 year old last week.

The doctor is taken a little bit back by that statement, but continues being professional.

*Doctor:* That...

Tekashi 69 admitted to "feeling pretty good" about being an informant...

Doctors now relate this as being a "narkcissist"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was at the front of the bus with my sister.

This old man said, "When are you two getting off?"

"We're fucking related you sick bastard," I replied.

I can relate to an unused brick

Always hard never laid

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman pregnant with triplets , 2 girls and a boy, was walking down the street when she was shot 3 times in the stomach

Somehow, miraculously , she and all 3 of her babies survived. 19 years later she’s at a family reunion and her first daughter comes up to her , visibly shaken. She says “mom, I just pissed out a bullet and I’m freaking out!” She sits down and holds her head in her hands , panicking. The mom figures ...

Paddy O’Toole stood awaiting the verdict of his trial

The judge proclaimed: Patrick O’Toole, there is sufficient evidence to acquit you on all charges. This court finds you innocent of all crimes related to this bank robbery.

Paddy replied: You mean I am free to go?

Judge: Yes. You are free to go.

Paddy: Does this mean I get to ke...

A teacher addresses her students after they've come back from lunch

She lays out the agenda for the lesson:

"Alright everyone, I'm going to ask each of you what you did during lunch. I'll them ask you to write something on the board related to what you did - if you spell the word correctly, you'll get a biscuit."

The children all seem quite excited by ...

How is a kid failing science and an antivax parent related?

One is just the evolution of the other.

Did you hear about the guy who was shot with a starter pistol?

Police think it is race-related

I have this weird problem where I can't understand metaphors, unless they are also ladder-related puns.

My psychologist keeps is trying to find some Holy Rail of a solution, but I'm pretty content to continue to sweep it under the rung.

Questionable Advice

After my dad died, my mom started dating a man who had just immigrated from France.

He wanted to get along with me so that my mom would like him more, and he knew I liked baseball, so he would play catch with me and encouraged me to join the school's baseball team.

He would always sa...

What is Spiderman's favorite song?

Dust in the Wind. He can really relate.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Okay I have never seen this here and I have searched with 0 results but it’s in honor of my 50 year old brother who told it too me and recently passed away, (not related).

A man went to the circus and he sat with his wife a children, the circus began and all went well until the clown arrived, for some reason the clown focused on the man and humiliated him with he greatest of ease. He called him names, laughed at his clothes, joked about his accent, ridiculed where he ...

I couldn't join the KKK, apparently my bloodline isn't pure enough

Turns out, my parents weren't even related.

Why can't people with spectacles see the real world?

Because the image formed will be virtual. (Physics related)

How are an anti vaccine baby’s 5th birthday and John Cena related?

They will never see it

I thought my girlfriend was getting over her seabird-related kleptomania

...then she took a tern for the worse.

Donald Trump is a presidential candidate I can relate to

Both of us have fantasies with Trump's daughter

I normally know a lot of money-related jokes...

But I can't think of any atm.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

WHY PEOPLE HATE SCHOOL RE-UNIONS

Jan, Sue and Mary haven't seen each other since leaving school.

They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar.

Jan arrives first, wearing a beige Versace. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio.

Sue arrives shortly afterward, in grey...

What relates a good reddit post and a poorly kept cube?

RIP in box

If shoe size really is directly related to the size of a man's package...

Then clowns are way scarier than we all thought.

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