Monopoly is amazing but it has some pretty old stuff that one can’t relate to anymore

I mean there is free parking, a luxury tax and rich people can actually go to jail.

My friend said I'm starting to annoy him because I relate everything to Batman.

What a joker!

My wife had asked me to stop using police related puns..

I guess I’ll give them “ arrest”.

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Can I donate a graft of tissue from my buttocks to another person I'm not related to?

Ass skin for a friend.

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Three Irish men in a pub called says, "Are you all related?" Mick said, "Yeah we're triplets". Barman says, "Triplets, how Come you & Pat are six foot tall & Tat is only four foot tall?"

"Well", said Mick, "Me & Pat
were breast fed, so there was no tit for tat".

People ask me, "How do you relate to women so well?"

And I say, "I just think of a man, and then I take away reason and accountability."

A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.

When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy walked up to the front of the class made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was.

"It's a period,'' said the little boy.

"Well, I can see that,'' she sa...

People say Elon Musk is a mad scientist. Do you think he relates to Dr. Jekyll?

Because I've always heard he benefited from having a part Hyde.

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Feet and penis size are not related

Trust me, my feet are huge

All of my jokes are anti-vaxer related

They all die in new

What's the difference between someone that collects stamps and the tally that Prince Phillip keeps of all the gravy and soup related silverware?

One's a philatelist and the other's a Phil ladle list.

Just looked into my family tree and found out both great great grand parents are related...

It's not every day you get to learn about your incestors

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A prostitute went to her psychologist because of work-related burnout.

I guess you could say she's had it coming.

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A couples therapist believes the amount of sex you have is directly related to happiness, so he decides to test his theory at his next seminar.

He addresses the crowd in attendance and asks "How many couples here tonight have sex once a day?"

To the therapists delight, about half of the crowd raise their hands with wide, toothy grins across their faces.

The therapist then asks "How many have sex once a week?"

Roughly a ...

Maybe some can relate

Those of us that are so self conscious that we have trained ourselves to silence our sneezes, well......we're feeling pretty smug about now.

Today, after a quick search, I realized that I'm actually related to a lot of people on Reddit.

Either that, or it turns out that there are just an awful lot of nice grandpas who sucked at building cabinets.

An Apple Store in Minneapolis reported losing $200,000 in inventory to riot-related theft.

'Thankfully the looters took nothing but two iPhones' the store's associate manager said.

Why shouldn't you tell your crush death-related jokes?

It kills the conversation :/

What problem can both gamers and popular musicians relate to?

The fans are too noisy.

Which word has 6 letters, starts with an N and ends with an R and is related to a Race

NASCAR

Alabama leads nation in fewest covid related deaths.

They have been marking uncles, fathers, and brothers as the same person when they die.

A man has been shot with a starting pistol.

Police are pretty sure it's race related.

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After a two year study, the National Science Foundation announced the following results on America's ball-related recreational preferences:

1. The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is basketball.

2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is bowling.

3. The sport of choice for blue-collar workers is football.

4. The sport of choice for supervisors is baseball.

5. Th...

What makes certain plants scientifically related to each other?

The family tree.

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The theory of evolution states that all species are related to a common ancestor

So no officer I dont think its "disgusting" that I'm dating a raccoon

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Why People Hate School Re-Unions

Jan, Sue and Mary haven't seen each other since leaving school.

 They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar.

Jan arrives first, wearing a beige Versace. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio.

Sue arrives shortly afterward, in grey ...

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What's the one pokemon most women can relate to?

Boob-a-sore

I’m seeing a lot of heaven related jokes, so here’s a bad one to lower every bodies expectations-

What do angles fish for in heaven?
Holy mackerels

I was dating a girl claiming to be related to King Louis the XVI and got mad

after I declared "so no head?"
Immediately she begins storming off

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Donald Trump was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the discussion on the word “tragedy”. So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a “tragedy”.

One little boy stood up and offered: “If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs ove...

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If you have sex with someone you're not related to...

You're called a clitourist. If it's someone you're related to then you're a clitizen.

I can totally relate to batteries

I'm not included in anything either.

Good news! This month your wife will nag you less

Nothing related to astrology....

Because this month has only 28 days

Why does Trump dance to "YMCA" and "Macho Man" but not "In The Navy"?

Because he dodged the draft, so he can't relate to it.

A joke everyone can relate to.

Your mom.

(For people in health related occupations) Knock, Knock.

Who’s there?

HIPAA

HIPAA who?

I can’t tell you.

At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me

. On a related note...…………………. I suck at darts.

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A guy goes to an interview for a job as a government accountant.

The interviewer asks him, "Are you a veteran?"
The guy says, "Why yes, in fact, I served two tours in Vietnam."
"Good," says the interviewer, "that counts in your favor. Do you have any service related disabilities?"
The guy says, "In fact I am 100% disabled. During a battle, an explosion r...

What did the cow say when she related to something?

Nothing, she just mood.

What do you call an orgy where everyone is related?

A family affair

Comedians will often ask rhetorical questions in order to get the audience on board with them or to relate to them.

How stupid is that?!

A pastor was leaving a graveside service, when he noticed a man sobbing, pounding the ground with his fists, and yelling as he knelt before a grave.

He decided to see if the man needed help or comfort and as he drew closer he heard the man yelling, "Why did he die! Why did he have to die!?"

The pastor knelt beside the man and said, "I'm so sorry for your loss, I'm a pastor, if there's anything I can do, I'll be glad to help. Was this your...

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Friendly reminder to all Redditors to buy the extra virgin type of products if available

Because we all need something that we can relate to.

I can relate to an unused brick

Always hard never laid

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My buddy jokingly asked me, "If I shagged your wife, would that make us related?"

I said, "No man, that would just make us even."

I'm a Sikh and really tired of hearing "sikh" puns on any post related to Sikhs

I'm sikh of this joke.

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First corona-related death in my neighborhood just happened

Bitch shouldn't have taken the last pack of toilet paper.

If you like pee related puns...

then *urine* for a treat.

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I was just wondering how different professions have given us words and phrases that mean sex, sexual positions or related to sex

Carpenter or other handy man - screw, bang, pound, nail, lay, grease, hose, pile, hammer, pipe

Sportsmen - score, hit, home run, game, ball, balls deep, knock it out

zookeeper or animal lover - hump, bone, beast, doggy style, monkey love, ram, raw dog

singers and other musical -...

A brief rise in the suicide is related to the Covid pandemic

Murderers are working from home.

So little Billy give the "dog ate my homework" excuses.

So little Billy give the "dog ate my homework" excuses.

Teacher: Why on earth do you let your dog eat your homework?

Billy: Well, my dog really love to eat cake.

Teacher: And how does this even related?

Billy: Yesterday you said that the homework is a piece of cake....

Two Australians were sitting around talking over a beer..

After a while the first Australian says to the second, “If I was to sneak over to your house and make love to your wife while you was off fishing, and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us related?"

The second Australian crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head...

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