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Relate Jokes

I can totally relate to batteries

I'm not included in anything either.

My Boyfriend said I’m starting to annoy him because I relate everything to Batman….

What a joker!!!

I can relate to Santa Claus...

I'm old
I'm fat
And no one believes in me

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Donald Trump was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the discussion on the word “tragedy”. So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a “tragedy”.

One little boy stood up and offered: “If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs ove...

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they say penis size is related to shoe size...

that makes the fear of clowns even worse.

**Edit** Ten hours in, this is my highest rated post ever! happy I found a place where im appreciated. ill come back with more material! :D

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A friend of mine died from a sexually related condition.

His girlfriend's husband shot him.

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My buddy said to me yesterday, "If I shagged your wife, would that make us related"?

I said "No man, that would just make us even."

Do you know what you call your parents if they were related?

Incestors.

I can relate to an unused brick

Always hard never laid

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Can I take a skin graft from my butt and put it on someone who isn't related?

ass skin for a friend

Maybe some can relate

Those of us that are so self conscious that we have trained ourselves to silence our sneezes, well......we're feeling pretty smug about now.

At last, a herb related joke

It's about thyme

People ask me, "How do you relate to women so well?"

And I say, "I just think of a man, and then I take away reason and accountability."

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Yikes. I think my sister is getting divorce oddly related to detective comics…

So I’m visiting my sister and her family in San Diego. They live in a beautiful house about a block and a half from the beach. It’s beautiful there. Long expansive vistas and soft warm sand.

I’m staying at their house. John and Tracy. Real good folks, or at least I thought. It’s a bit late i...

A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.

When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy walked up to the front of the class made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was.

"It's a period,'' said the little boy.

"Well, I can see that,'' she sa...

I saw a math-related T-shirt today

It said f(x) = |X|

AVOID NEGATIVITY

That’s ABSOLUTEly the silliest joke I ever saw.

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Three people want to get into heaven

St Nicholas is the gatekeeper.

He says they must give him something related to Christmas to get in.

The first person reaches into his pockets and pulls out a leaf

St Nick looks confused, and says “How does this relate to Christmas?”

She replied “Mistletoe”, St N...

Monopoly is amazing but it has some pretty old stuff that one can’t relate to anymore

I mean there is free parking, a luxury tax and rich people can actually go to jail.

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What's the one pokemon most women can relate to?

Boob-a-sore

What problem can both gamers and popular musicians relate to?

The fans are too noisy.

An Apple Store in Minneapolis reported losing $200,000 in inventory to riot-related theft.

'Thankfully the looters took nothing but two iPhones' the store's associate manager said.

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A friend once told me he enjoyed masturbating in front of other people. When I told him I couldn't relate, he made a real effort to help me understand...



...and now I can see where he's coming from.

I don't get computer-related jokes.

..not even a bit.

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Ended up at the ER on date night with one of those notorious Viagra related injuries

Everything was going great, so I popped a viagra. I got this intense erection so We got naked and went chasing each other around the house.

Well, as I was chasing her to the hot tub, I ran smack into the glass door and broke my nose.

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How are peanut butter and jelly related?

They're inbred

Anything not related to elephants

is irrelephant.

What happened after the U.S. imposed the death penalty for banking-related crypto fraud?

Bank-Man fried!

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Feet and penis size are not related

Trust me, my feet are huge

What is big, long, red, spews a liquid from an opening, generates a lot of excitement among people, adults get to have a big one and children get to have a smaller one, makes people wet and is usually associated with "hot", and is related to/contains words that begin with F and end with U,C,K?

A firetruck :D

Scientists have demonstrated that nerves spread throughout the body are related to human personality.

For example, if a subjects arms are removed, that subject becomes much less likely to volunteer for science tests.

Some girls at my gym were saying I was related to Bruce Lee.

I had to politely let them know I wasn’t, and my name isn’t Ugg, either.

Donald Trump is a presidential candidate I can relate to

Both of us have fantasies with Trump's daughter

I can relate to Alice in Wonderland.

She just keeps randomly eating and drinking with the hope that it might magically solve her problems

I love "technically true" jokes, like:

If everybody in the world held hands around the equator, most of them would drown.

Or

Did you know that after all these years, the swimming pool on Titanic is still filled with water?

Or

There are more airplanes in the ocean than submarines in the sky.

What else ...

I find it quite easy to relate to mushrooms

I'm also a fun guy

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I'm surprised more black people don't relate with NASCAR...

After all, there are no rights

Clothing related typos...

They're the vest

If you like pee related puns...

then *urine* for a treat.

Police related jokes aren’t funny

So give it arrest

Some musician related jokes

Why can't a clarinet player keep a girlfriend? Whenever they start talking dirty, his voice cracks.

Why can't a French horn player keep a girlfriend? Whenever they start making out, his hand goes to the wrong place.

What do you call a euphonium player who isn't part of a military band?...

All of my jokes are anti-vaxer related

They all die in new

Buy all the 9/11 related domains

Is apparently the wrong answer to “What would you do with a time machine?”

My wife had asked me to stop using police related puns..

I guess I’ll give them “ arrest”.

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Can I donate a graft of tissue from my buttocks to another person I'm not related to?

Ass skin for a friend.

(For people in health related occupations) Knock, Knock.

Who’s there?

HIPAA

HIPAA who?

I can’t tell you.

A man in my town was shot yesterday with a starter’s pistol.

Police suspect that the crime is race related.

My wife said she would divorce me if I didn't stop my cheese related puns.

It's no fondue be married to such a Munster anyways.

People say Elon Musk is a mad scientist. Do you think he relates to Dr. Jekyll?

Because I've always heard he benefited from having a part Hyde.

What do you call blood-related jedi?

Force kin.

At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me

On a related note, I suck at darts

I couldn't join the KKK if I wanted to, my bloodline isn't pure enough.

Turns out my parents weren't even related.

Alabama leads nation in fewest covid related deaths.

They have been marking uncles, fathers, and brothers as the same person when they die.

What makes certain plants scientifically related to each other?

The family tree.

What do you call an orgy where everyone is related?

A family affair

Comedians will often ask rhetorical questions in order to get the audience on board with them or to relate to them.

How stupid is that?!

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If you have sex with someone you're not related to...

You're called a clitourist. If it's someone you're related to then you're a clitizen.

Did you hear about the guy who was shot with a starter pistol?

Police think it is race-related

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