The third-grade class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.

When the time came for the kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon Little Johnny, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came.

Little Johnny walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece...

My Boyfriend said I’m starting to annoy him because I relate everything to Batman….

What a joker!!!

What is big, long, red, spews a liquid from an opening, generates a lot of excitement among people, adults get to have a big one and children get to have a smaller one, makes people wet and is usually associated with "hot", and is related to/contains words that begin with F and end with U,C,K?

A firetruck :D

Scott Morrison was visiting a Sydney primary school and the class was in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asked Mr Morrison if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'Tragedy'.

So our illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a 'Tragedy'

A little boy stood up and offered: 'If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing' in the field and a tractor runs o...

Anything not related to elephants

is irrelephant.

Monopoly is amazing but it has some pretty old stuff that one can’t relate to anymore

I mean there is free parking, a luxury tax and rich people can actually go to jail.

People say Elon Musk is a mad scientist. Do you think he relates to Dr. Jekyll?

Because I've always heard he benefited from having a part Hyde.

People ask me, "How do you relate to women so well?"

And I say, "I just think of a man, and then I take away reason and accountability."

In the 1970s, as manager of Baskin Robbins', my mom was tasked to create new flavors related to Richard Nixon...

Her choices, as she told me, were 'ImPeachments & Cream' and 'Watermelon-Gate' (as a sorbet).



Both were denied.

This is actually true.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Can I donate a graft of tissue from my buttocks to another person I'm not related to?

Ass skin for a friend.

My wife had asked me to stop using police related puns..

I guess I’ll give them “ arrest”.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three Irish men in a pub called says, "Are you all related?" Mick said, "Yeah we're triplets". Barman says, "Triplets, how Come you & Pat are six foot tall & Tat is only four foot tall?"

"Well", said Mick, "Me & Pat
were breast fed, so there was no tit for tat".

Buy all the 9/11 related domains

Is apparently the wrong answer to “What would you do with a time machine?”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Feet and penis size are not related

Trust me, my feet are huge

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A church needed a new bell ringer

A church needed a new bell ringer, so the priest placed a want ad in the local paper. Soon, a man showed up to apply for the job.

The priest, on seeing that the man had no arms, said, "My son, I'm afraid there is no way for you to do this job."

"Father, I really need this job, and I'm...

All of my jokes are anti-vaxer related

They all die in new

Maybe some can relate

Those of us that are so self conscious that we have trained ourselves to silence our sneezes, well......we're feeling pretty smug about now.

UK police today arrested a man for shooting a starting pistol at someone.

They are treating the offence as race related.

Which word has 6 letters, starts with an N and ends with an R and is related to a Race

NASCAR

What problem can both gamers and popular musicians relate to?

The fans are too noisy.

An Apple Store in Minneapolis reported losing $200,000 in inventory to riot-related theft.

'Thankfully the looters took nothing but two iPhones' the store's associate manager said.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In the next few months, Jeff Bezos plans to go into space. There he will be forced to stay inside a small metal room and piss in a tube.

I guess he is just trying to relate to his employees.

What's the difference between someone that collects stamps and the tally that Prince Phillip keeps of all the gravy and soup related silverware?

One's a philatelist and the other's a Phil ladle list.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A couples therapist believes the amount of sex you have is directly related to happiness, so he decides to test his theory at his next seminar.

He addresses the crowd in attendance and asks "How many couples here tonight have sex once a day?"

To the therapists delight, about half of the crowd raise their hands with wide, toothy grins across their faces.

The therapist then asks "How many have sex once a week?"

Roughly a ...

I can totally relate to batteries

I'm not included in anything either.

Three musicians are killed in an automobile accident. They arrive together at the pearly gates, where they are greeted by Saint Peter.

"Hello," says Saint Peter. "I suppose you'd like to get into Heaven!"

"Yes, we would," says the first musician, a band director.

"Well, there's just a little test you have to take. Nothing too difficult. Related to your earthly profession," says Saint Peter.

"OK," says the band ...

Just looked into my family tree and found out both great great grand parents are related...

It's not every day you get to learn about your incestors

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man enters a bar

He's completely wasted, drunk like a skunk. The bartender looks at him and says, "Whoah dude, you look like shit! What's up?" - "Yeah... hicc... You know I hve... hicc... been flat hunting for like... hicc... fourteen... days..." - "Ah, yeah, I can relate" says the bartender. "What kind of a flat ar...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the one pokemon most women can relate to?

Boob-a-sore

My Asian eye doctor

Since I am half-Chinese and half-Filipino, and in recognition of AAPI month, I shall relate what happened visiting the eye doctor. I had been having trouble seeing while driving, so I went to my eye doctor, who happens to be Asian like me. He did the usual things, the eye charts, peering into my e...

Today, after a quick search, I realized that I'm actually related to a lot of people on Reddit.

Either that, or it turns out that there are just an awful lot of nice grandpas who sucked at building cabinets.

A man was dumping toxic waste into a river.

Suddenly, the sky darkened, lightning flashed, and a glowing woman appeared, hovering above the river.

**"For your crimes, I curse you to only speak in words related to water!",** she intoned, and then vanished in another flash of lightning.

The man stood, shocked, before gathering his...

Alabama leads nation in fewest covid related deaths.

They have been marking uncles, fathers, and brothers as the same person when they die.

I’m seeing a lot of heaven related jokes, so here’s a bad one to lower every bodies expectations-

What do angles fish for in heaven?
Holy mackerels

What makes certain plants scientifically related to each other?

The family tree.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The theory of evolution states that all species are related to a common ancestor

So no officer I dont think its "disgusting" that I'm dating a raccoon

I can relate to an unused brick

Always hard never laid

I was dating a girl claiming to be related to King Louis the XVI and got mad

after I declared "so no head?"
Immediately she begins storming off

Comedians will often ask rhetorical questions in order to get the audience on board with them or to relate to them.

How stupid is that?!

Ah.. chemistry!

My roommate bursts into our apartment, totally stressed out from her chemistry finals.

Her: If anyone even says one more word related to Chemistry, I'm going to scream!

Me: K

Her: (goes bananas…) ARGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

What do you call blood-related jedi?

Force kin.

(For people in health related occupations) Knock, Knock.

Who’s there?

HIPAA

HIPAA who?

I can’t tell you.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many redditors does it take to change a light bulb?

Q: How many group members does it take to change a light bulb ?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A tractor joke

There once was a man who loved tractors, I mean he absolutely LOVED them. He had tractor models, tractor wallpaper, remote control miniature tractors, tractor board games, even some tractor porn(which is not easy to find mind you). The only thing that even came close to his love for tractors, was th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If you have sex with someone you're not related to...

You're called a clitourist. If it's someone you're related to then you're a clitizen.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My buddy jokingly asked me, "If I shagged your wife, would that make us related?"

I said, "No man, that would just make us even."

This government shutdown has made it so TSA agents can relate to artists.

There is a lot of exposure and no pay.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

New COVID19-Related Service

I am thinking about offering a new service in my city to help with the whole COVID19 thing.

Basically, if you're someone who is hoarding toilet paper, you send me your name and address and I come to your house and fucking beat the shit out of you. Now you no longer need that toilet paper, so...

What do you call an orgy where everyone is related?

A family affair

Fishing Buddies

A Kiwi and an Aussie went fishing one afternoon and decided to have a couple of cold beers.

After a while the Aussie says to the Kiwi, "If I was to sneak over to your house and made wild passionate love to your wife while you were at work, and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make...

If you like pee related puns...

then *urine* for a treat.

I'm a Sikh and really tired of hearing "sikh" puns on any post related to Sikhs

I'm sikh of this joke.

At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me

. On a related note...…………………. I suck at darts.

What did the cow say when she related to something?

Nothing, she just mood.

Donald Trump is a presidential candidate I can relate to

Both of us have fantasies with Trump's daughter

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.