My Boyfriend said I’m starting to annoy him because I relate everything to Batman….

What a joker!!!

The third-grade class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.

When the time came for the kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon Little Johnny, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came.

Little Johnny walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece...

What is big, long, red, spews a liquid from an opening, generates a lot of excitement among people, adults get to have a big one and children get to have a smaller one, makes people wet and is usually associated with "hot", and is related to/contains words that begin with F and end with U,C,K?

A firetruck :D

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Can I take a skin graft from my butt and put it on someone who isn't related?

ass skin for a friend

My wife said she would divorce me if I didn't stop my cheese related puns.

It's no fondue be married to such a Munster anyways.

My wife and I are having a competition to see who can steal the most dog related stuff from our local pet shop.

I've just taken the lead.

How Are Emos and Darth Vader related

They both wear all black and neither have a father

Monopoly is amazing but it has some pretty old stuff that one can’t relate to anymore

I mean there is free parking, a luxury tax and rich people can actually go to jail.

Scott Morrison was visiting a Sydney primary school and the class was in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asked Mr Morrison if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'Tragedy'.

So our illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a 'Tragedy'

A little boy stood up and offered: 'If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing' in the field and a tractor runs o...

People say Elon Musk is a mad scientist. Do you think he relates to Dr. Jekyll?

Because I've always heard he benefited from having a part Hyde.

Anything not related to elephants

is irrelephant.

People ask me, "How do you relate to women so well?"

And I say, "I just think of a man, and then I take away reason and accountability."

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My friend just got a job at a sex shop. I need jokes!

She’s working at a well known sex goods store and I need all the inappropriate and/or sex related jokes to send to her!

Which word has 6 letters, starts with an N and ends with an R and is related to a Race

NASCAR

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Can I donate a graft of tissue from my buttocks to another person I'm not related to?

Ass skin for a friend.

In the 1970s, as manager of Baskin Robbins', my mom was tasked to create new flavors related to Richard Nixon...

Her choices, as she told me, were 'ImPeachments & Cream' and 'Watermelon-Gate' (as a sorbet).



Both were denied.

This is actually true.

I can totally relate to batteries

I'm not included in anything either.

My wife had asked me to stop using police related puns..

I guess I’ll give them “ arrest”.

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Three Irish men in a pub called says, "Are you all related?" Mick said, "Yeah we're triplets". Barman says, "Triplets, how Come you & Pat are six foot tall & Tat is only four foot tall?"

"Well", said Mick, "Me & Pat
were breast fed, so there was no tit for tat".

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So these three guys died on Christmas ...

When St. Peter greeted them at the Pearly Gates, he informed them that because they died on Christmas, each would have to show that he has something on his person related to Christmas in order to be admitted to the Kingdom of Heaven.

The first guy reaches in his pocket and pulls out a white e...

Maybe some can relate

Those of us that are so self conscious that we have trained ourselves to silence our sneezes, well......we're feeling pretty smug about now.

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Feet and penis size are not related

Trust me, my feet are huge

An Apple Store in Minneapolis reported losing $200,000 in inventory to riot-related theft.

'Thankfully the looters took nothing but two iPhones' the store's associate manager said.

What problem can both gamers and popular musicians relate to?

The fans are too noisy.

Buy all the 9/11 related domains

Is apparently the wrong answer to “What would you do with a time machine?”

I don't really get all the jokes here about Alabama.

But I can tell they're somewhat related.

All of my jokes are anti-vaxer related

They all die in new

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What's the one pokemon most women can relate to?

Boob-a-sore

Sandra received a worrying diagnosis from her doctor.

She was healthy enough. She exercised daily, she ate well, all that jazz. But during her annual checkup, her doctor sat her down and says, "I've found a small tumor on your neck."

She was absolutely horrified. "Are you saying I have cancer?"

The doctor shook his head. "No, no, that's n...

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A couples therapist believes the amount of sex you have is directly related to happiness, so he decides to test his theory at his next seminar.

He addresses the crowd in attendance and asks "How many couples here tonight have sex once a day?"

To the therapists delight, about half of the crowd raise their hands with wide, toothy grins across their faces.

The therapist then asks "How many have sex once a week?"

Roughly a ...

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The plastic surgeon

A plastic surgeon walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I've been wondering... Can you successfully transfer a skin graft off one person's butt to another person who isn't related to the donor?" the bartender asks. "Ass skin for a friend."

I can relate to an unused brick

Always hard never laid

Tractors

So there was this guy who was a fan of tractors. He had posters of it everywhere. He had his own tractor business, married a beautiful wife. The whole 9 yards.

One day his wife died from a tractor accident. Heartbroken he got rid of his business, his posters, everything tractor related.
...

Just looked into my family tree and found out both great great grand parents are related...

It's not every day you get to learn about your incestors

Comedians will often ask rhetorical questions in order to get the audience on board with them or to relate to them.

How stupid is that?!

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My buddy jokingly asked me, "If I shagged your wife, would that make us related?"

I said, "No man, that would just make us even."

Today, after a quick search, I realized that I'm actually related to a lot of people on Reddit.

Either that, or it turns out that there are just an awful lot of nice grandpas who sucked at building cabinets.

I’m seeing a lot of heaven related jokes, so here’s a bad one to lower every bodies expectations-

What do angles fish for in heaven?
Holy mackerels

(For people in health related occupations) Knock, Knock.

Who’s there?

HIPAA

HIPAA who?

I can’t tell you.

This government shutdown has made it so TSA agents can relate to artists.

There is a lot of exposure and no pay.

What makes certain plants scientifically related to each other?

The family tree.

Donald Trump is a presidential candidate I can relate to

Both of us have fantasies with Trump's daughter

Alabama leads nation in fewest covid related deaths.

They have been marking uncles, fathers, and brothers as the same person when they die.

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A church needed a new bell ringer

A church needed a new bell ringer, so the priest placed a want ad in the local paper. Soon, a man showed up to apply for the job.

The priest, on seeing that the man had no arms, said, "My son, I'm afraid there is no way for you to do this job."

"Father, I really need this job, and I'm...

I was dating a girl claiming to be related to King Louis the XVI and got mad

after I declared "so no head?"
Immediately she begins storming off

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The theory of evolution states that all species are related to a common ancestor

So no officer I dont think its "disgusting" that I'm dating a raccoon

Beware of DNA tests!

In England, young Robert Keystone Townsend II, was given a DNA test from a friend for his birthday, which revealed a terrible family secret: His father was not his actual father, but still related somehow. When confronted with the question of why this horrible truth was hidden from him for so long, ...

If you like pee related puns...

then *urine* for a treat.

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If you have sex with someone you're not related to...

You're called a clitourist. If it's someone you're related to then you're a clitizen.

What do you call blood-related jedi?

Force kin.

I'm a Sikh and really tired of hearing "sikh" puns on any post related to Sikhs

I'm sikh of this joke.

What do you call an orgy where everyone is related?

A family affair

UK police today arrested a man for shooting a starting pistol at someone.

They are treating the offence as race related.

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