Jim wants to sell his car and consults his friend Tommy.

Jim’s car is getting old so he’s decided to put it up for sale but consults his friend Tommy before making the advert.

Tommy asks him, “How many miles are on your car Jim?”.

“132,000, she’s getting old” he says.

Tommy looked shocked as he wanted his friend to get some money bac...

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The shepherd and the consultant

A shepherd is tending to his flock without a worry in the world as suddenly a sports car screeches to a halt next to him, out jumps a well dressed man saying "Hello shepherd, if I can tell you how many sheep you have in your flock, I may take one?"

The shepherd shrugs and the man starts to fi...

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How many consultants does it take to change a lightbulb?

1 to collect all the information from the client what he wants done
1 to fill a flipchart with nonsensical bullshit
1 to whip the interns to actually collect the data required (i.e. someone has to pretend to work)
1 to write a report about it
12 to bill the work of the 18 people ...

The definition of a consultant is..

..someone who can tell you on your watch what time it is

Before difficult descisions I like to consult both my head and my heart.

Although my head tells me to make rational and educated descisions, my heart tells me that I need to exercise more.

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Received a call from a female recruitment consultant.

She said to me: "Sir I have two openings for you...!

I replied : Yes. I know 😊

There was a long silence and then she said:- asshole

I replied:- I prefer the other one...

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My boss just appointed me as his sexual consultant.

He said, “If I want your fucking advice, I’ll ask for it.”

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Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office

But she belonged to someone else... One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I'll give you a £100 if you let me have sex with you. But the girl said NO. Johnny said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick ...

A frog goes into a bank

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her name plate that the teller's name is Patricia Black.

So, he says, "Mrs. Black, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow. The...

A young couple consults Jerry Springer to confirm the baby daddy is the real farther.

DNA results:

The good news is... you *are* the father.

The bad news is... you *are also* the uncle.

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him:

“Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 m...

An engineer had a sign in front of his clinic that said, "Medical consultation for only $50. If I can't make you better, I will pay you $100."

A doctor, knowing he can stump the engineer and wanting to get some cash, goes straight to the engineer. "Hey," he says. "I lost my sense of taste. I can't taste any food anymore."

The engineer takes a small bottle from his drawer, told the doctor to take his tongue out, and put 15 drops of t...

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A Brazilian and a Venezuelan gets into a fight

They cant agree on which country has the best ass cheeks. To settle the debate in a fair non partisan manner they decide to consult the most advance AI of the Time.



The AI prompts them to word their question very carefully because it always outputs exactly what it is asked from it. <...

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A very rich, yet stingy businessman had symptoms of corona...

He decided to get himself tested and went to the clinic.

After he returned from the clinic he saw few calls from his business partner. So he called him back.

His business partner picked up. he sounded worried, "Hey I've been trying to reach you! You didn't pick up so I called your home...

When a cop asks a criminal about local crimes, they're "consulting with their CI"

When I ask a criminal about local crimes, I'm "consorting with known felons" and "violating my parole."

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A nurse is standing in a consultation room with a patient

The patient says"this is a little embarrassing so please don't laugh"

The nurse "I've been a nurse for 12 years nothing you show me is going to make me laugh"

The man drops his trousers revealing a penis the size and girth of a triple A battery.

The nurse stifles her giggle but ...

A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: "Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770- 1827."

Then he realizes that the music is Beethoven's Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him.

By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the prev...

Did you hear that NYC paid Hillary Clinton $2,000,000 as a consultant for New Years Eve?

They wanted an expert on dropping the ball at the last second.

An apiarist consults his family doctor about a troubling rash.

Doctor: You have hives.
Apiarist: Yes many, and they are my pride and joy.
Doctor: Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder.

Meeting with the eye surgeon is such a scam, I paid over $500 just for the consultation!

And I still don't know who I'm seeing.

Consulting a hotheaded doctor

... a man says: 'Doctor, I'm unable to lie down or stand up; I can't even sit down.' The doctor responds: 'I guess the only thing left is to hang yourself.'

A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who’s dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.

Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?" The guy replies, "I’m Joe Cohen, taxi driver, of Noo Yawk City." St. Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and ent...

Man: Hey! How much is your consultation fee? Lawyer : $100- for 3 questions.

Man: That's pretty expensive isn't it?

Lawyer : Yes, now what is your third question.

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Three ministers and their wives were riding in a van to a conference...

when the driver took a curve too fast, sending the vehicle off the road and over a cliff. All six perished, and found themselves in line at the gates of heaven. Saint Peter called the first couple forward, examined his book, then looked sadly at the minister.

“I’m sorry to say that I can’t l...

Clinton consults the past

Hillary went for a walk one morning and came upon the Washington monument. She asked, "George, what should I do?" After a few seconds a ghostly voice replied, "Abolish the IRS and start over." She thought about this for a few seconds and continued her walk.

Shortly afterwards she stepped up t...

A man is concerned that the pain in his side may be serious, so he goes to his doctor's.

After a brief examination, the doctor asks the man to lie on the examination table. The man does so as the doctor leaves the room.

While the man is lying there, a dog and cat enter the room. The cat jumps into the man's chest and stares at him while the dog licks each of his hands. Shortly...

A wife goes to consult a psychiatrist

A wife goes to consult a psychiatrist about her husband: My husband is acting so weird. He drinks his morning coffee and then he goes and eats the mug! He only leaves the handle!

Psychiatrist: Yes, that is weird. The handle is the best part.

When you spend 3 hours in line at Jenny Craig to see a weight loss consultant . . .

You over wait.

If you have a problem eating coins, perhaps you should consult a life coach...

It'll inspire change within yourself

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John owned a Pizzeria with his buddy Harry.

But John wasn't satisfied with only making pizza every day. He wanted to study and walk a different path in life. So he decided to get back to school.

He told his buddy Harry that he would go see a consultant to talk about which subjects he should study.

The next day he went to meet wi...

Why do skeletons make good consultants?

They’ve got no skin in the game, no guts and no balls.

A frog walks into a bank...

So, one day a frog walked into a bank. He hopped on over to a teller and quickly eyed her name tag: Patricia Waak.

Frog: Good morning, Miss Waak. Such a lovely day outside, isn't it?

*teller just stares at him, because, well, he's a FROG.*

Teller: Uh, yes. Yes it is. How can I h...

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old homophobic joke

Two men are camping when one of them goes into the bushes to take a dump and gets bitten on his penis by a snake. He runs to his buddy for help. His buddy consults their first aid book to see what he can do to help his friend, and the book says to cut a small x-shaped incision where the snakebite ...

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A man is consulting a psychologist

\- Tell me what are your worst memories. Start with the third one.


\- The mayor's goat escaped into the wood, so every man of the village went to search her. We searched all the day long and finally found her safe in the evening. Because she wasn't eaten by a wolf, the mayor organized a...

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Three men consult a Ouija board to speak with a demon

The first man asks "What is your name?"

The planchette doesn't move.

Thinking the demon must not like the first man, the second man also asks "What is your name?"

The planchette refuses to move. However, a faint growling echoes from behind them.

After an uncomfortable fe...

Hey Doc, the invisible Man is here for a consultation.

Tell him I can't see him right now.

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After a consultation, the doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches.

The bad news is that it will require castration.

You see, your testicles seem to be pressing on your spine and the pressure creates one heck of a headache.

I can relieve the pressure by removing the testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to l...

This happened many years ago when Blackberry phones were still popular

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep yo...

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A married man suffering from stuttering consulted a famous doctor

The doctor carefully examines the patient and comes to a conclusion that his dick is too huge and needs to be replaced with a smaller one. After a long pause, the patient agrees and had the surgery. When he woke up, his stuttering was gone and was satisified.

After a few weeks he comes back t...

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The Waiter and the Spoon

A married couple decides to brave Covid and eat out for their anniversary at a fancy restaurant. They’ve been ordering Grubhub for months and are excited to support a local business in person. They order soup, but as it arrives, the man accidentally knock his spoon onto the floor with his elbow. To ...

Consult an audiophile before buying new headphones

Their reasoning is pretty sound

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Micky and Minnie Mouse are consulting their lawyer about planning a divorce.

Halfway through reading Mickie's statement, the lawyer finds something odd.

"So it says here," he inquires, eyebrow notched," that you want to divorce your wife because she's, ahem, 'extremely silly'?


"No," Mickie shouted, hardly able to control his anger. " I want the divorce beca...

The waiter had a spoon in his pocket

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange.
When the waiter brought our water and cutlery, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw t...

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A man walked into his doctor's office...

...complaining that he thinks he might have a tapeworm. The doctor made a physical examination and listened to the symptoms, and concurred with the self-diagnosis.

"I want you to come back tomorrow to start treatment. And bring an apple, and an orange and a Mars Bar" said the doctor.

D...

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Jack suffered from terrible unrelenting migraines. He'd been to all kind of doctors with no avail.

Finally, he consulted a very controversial migraine specialist.

Doctor: "I know what you're feeling. It's a throbbing sensation in your temples that just doesn't quit. I used to suffer from such headaches too. The best thing for this is oral sex.!!
I would go down on my wife and as she org...

A man was consulting his psychiatrist.

Among other questions, the doctor asked.

"Are you troubled by improper thoughts?"

"Why no!" answered the patient.

"To tell the truth doctor, I rather enjoy them!"

How do Spider-Men get good in English?

They consult the Webster dictionary.

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Bovine Economics

Basic Economics, brought up to date...



\*\*SOCIALISM\*\*



You have 2 cows.



You give one to your neighbor.



The government charges a gift tax.







\*\*COMMUNISM\*\*



You have 2 cows.



The...

Hello, God?

In an effort to combat religious bigotry, the leaders of the world's largest religions decided to show solidarity by organizing a world tour, where they would all visit each other in their respective seats of power.

The first stop on the tour was the Vatican where the Pope welcomed the group ...

So a woman consults a lawyer saying that she wanted a divorce...

Lawyer: Do you have grounds?

Woman: Yeah, we have an acre and a half

L: No, that's not what I meant. Look, do you have a grudge?

W: Yeah, we have one for 2 cars behind the house

L: No. Look lady, does your husband beat you up?

W: No, I get up about a half hour befo...

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That Ol' Gloria (NSFW)

Gloria was not a pretty woman. She had never been in love and only rarely had laid with a man. Alone by the time of her 55th birthday, her only accomplishments in life were a storied golf career and her many rescued cats. Sadly, in her misery and depression, Gloria took her own life. Written in her ...

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A woman visited an Amazonian tribe on a research trip...

She spent several days taking notes on the lifestyle and habits of the tribe and interviewing their ruler, King Paolo, via an interpreter. As the tribe's land was near several rich gold mines, the king and his people were extremely wealthy.

During the woman's time with him, the king fell hop...

I've recently had severe bowel incontinence, so I decided to consult my doctor before starting up a daily powerwalking routine...

When I asked how my condition will affect my walks, my doctor responded, "Nothing severe, but you never know when the walks will turn into the runs."

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What's the difference between an IT consultant and a Catholic priest?

The IT consultant's laptop has no butt.

A director of an insane asylum is concerned about how full the asylum is getting and decides to make some space

He consults with the doctors and they create a plan to figure out who needs to stay and who is sane enough to be allowed back into the public. They empty out the swimming pool and gather all the patients round.

"Whoever can swim 2 lengths of this pool will be allowed to leave the asylum" say...

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An engineer, a physicist and a statistician go deer hunting.

An engineer, a physicist and a statistician go deer hunting. They see a massive buck, and the physicist gets to take the first shot.

The physicist takes out a notepad and pencil and starts calculating, "Account for coriolis force, air friction...carry the 9..." Finally the physicist has calcu...

Three college graduates—one in Math, one in Engineering, and one in Economics—sit for a job interview.

The question they’re all asked is “What’s 2+2?”

The Math graduate goes to the whiteboard, fills it with a proof, and concludes that, “A solution exists.”

The Engineering graduate consults his addition tables, writes some calculations down, graphs his results, and says, “3. But we’ll ma...

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The frustrated parents of an acting-out adolescent go to a developmental therapist for advice on how to handle their kid.

"We don't get it, doc," the father begins, "A couple of months ago, she just stopped talking to us."

"Completely locked us out of everything," the mother continues, "We didn't change anything or do anything different, but it's like a switch was flipped, or something."

The therapist, st...

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A woman from the Women's Institutes goes to her Doctor...

A woman from the Women's Institute goes to her Doctor with an embarrasing problem, every time she delivers a speech to the women of the WI she farts constantly all the way through.

The Doctor says, "I would like you to demonstrate your problem for me by reading aloud your latest speech to me ...

Where did all the Cyber security consultants go for the last few days?

They ransomware.

Trading gold for a good consulting / corporate or office joke...

Guys, it's been a long day, I need a laugh and I've got three months of gold to give away. Help me out?

A physician, a civil engineer, and a consultant were arguing about what was the oldest profession in the world.

The physician remarked, "Well, in the Bible, it says that God created Eve from a rib taken out of Adam. This clearly required surgery, and so I can rightly claim that mine is the oldest profession in the world."

The civil engineer interrupted, and said, "But even earlier in the book of Genesi...

A lawyer’s dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast.

The butcher goes to the lawyer’s office and asks: “If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog’s owner?”

The lawyer answers: “Absolutely.”

“Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast fro...

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Expidition of two scientists

Two scientists start an expedition to explore a deserted island.

On the second day of their expidition, they ran into a group of indigenous, the natives bound the two scientists and bring them to their village. The chief of the tribal approaches and says „**DEATH or BUMM BUMM?**“. The two sc...

Bribe...

A farmer consults a lawyer friend for his case. He had built a house in the plot of another farmer and now the other farmer has sued him, demanding the house demolished.

The lawyer calmly explains the farmer is in the wrong, he should not have built a house on another person's land. He advise...

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A Mechanical Engineer, a Special Projects Solution Consultant, and a Software Engineering were riding in a car over a mountain pass....

....Suddenly, the brakes fail just as they crest the rise.

As they begin to plummet unchecked down the mountain, the driver begins a miraculous set of actions, feathering the body of the car against the side of the mountain as well as other vehicles, while simultaneously downshifting the eng...

How many senior medical consultants does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one.


He holds up the bulb and waits for the world to revolve around him.

A Guy Is fed up with his case of intestinal Worms

He decided its about time to have things checked out.


He goes and visits his local doctor, the doctor prescribes him medication.
He heads home and and struggles for weeks, to no avail.


He goes and visits a famous diagnostician, who tells him that the worms have grown f...

A young man buys a chicken farm out in the country

He doesn't know much about chickens, so he decides to go consult with some of the locals. He finds an old farmer and asks if he might be able to give him some pointers. The old farmer tells him "sure, meet me here at 6am tomorrow and I'll show you the ropes.


The young man gets up and ...

An IT consultant is fixing KFC's website.

While editing the code, he noticed a line that simply said, "KFC RULES" with improper syntax, which caused the site to crash. When he asked who wrote the code, he was told that Harland Sanders, the founder of KFC, was the one responsible.

The IT guy responded, "That's what I call a Colonel Er...

Story with a moral

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out t...

5 friends new to the business world asked a consultant of what to do with their money.

The consultant told them to buy a taxi as it is a good business and since they are 5 they can have it run for many hours and days.

The 5 friends bought a taxi and started the work. A month later they had really bad numbers. So they decided to go back to the consultant again.

They ask...

I dont wanna do what I did in Texas.....

Man rides up to a saloon on a beautifullly patterned Palomino stallion, ties the horse to the rail, walks inside, orders lunch and a beer. After his meal is done he gets up, pays the waitress and walks out the doors...to find his horse missing.

He sighs mournfully, removes the safety loops on...

A young man and a young woman met at a party, fell in love and moved in together.

Soon, some say too soon after that, they got married. As the newlyweds didn’t have a car, the mother of the bride decided to gift them the family heirloom, a 1965 Mustang GT350 that the brides grandfather had been racing back in the day.

For a while all was well and the bride and the groom sp...

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A gynecologist asks his colleague for a consultation.

A doctor is doing some paperwork when a colleague enters his office.

"You have to see this. I have a patient whose clitoris is like a watermelon!"

They both go to the examination room, where a woman is in the stirrups with a cloth covering her private parts. The doctor raises the clo...

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Restaurant got Business Consultation

A client ordered a soup in a restaurant but he didn't get his spoon so he calls the waiter over. The waiter just grabs in his breast pocket and pulls out a spoon and hands it to the customer. The customer is pleasantly surprised and goes "that sure went quick, you guys always carry an extra spoon ar...

What did the management consultant think of his job?

It was the Bain of his existence.

How many consultants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I'm not sure but I'll have an answer for you next Monday.

A Social Media Consultant walks into a bar and orders a drink.

He copies-and-pastes the drink to five other bars and requests that they become a fan of it, then bills the first bar for six drinks.

Two Irishmen are stranded at Sea when a genie appears...

“I will grant one wish” states the genie.

The first Irishman shouts, without consulting with the other, “I wish that this entire Ocean was made of beer!”

The second Irishman smacks the first in the back of the head. “You idiot!!”

“Now we have to pee in the boat!”

Several scientists were all posed the following question: "What is 2 * 2 ?"

The engineer whips out his slide rule (so it's old) and shuffles it back and forth, and finally announces "3.99".

The physicist consults his technical references, sets up the problem on his computer, and announces "it lies between 3.98 and 4.02".

The mathematician cogitates for a whi...

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A husband of 50 years dies leaving his widow to prepare for his funeral. [NSFW]

The mortuary attendant calls the widow aside to consult her with an embarrassing problem. He hesitatingly explained that her husband died with an erection and the coffin would not shut. Without pause she told the attendant to cut off the member and stuff it up his anus.

Later during the wake,...

A fifty year old lawyer who has been...

A fifty year old lawyer who has been practicing since he was 25 passed away and arrived at the pearly gates for judgment.

The lawyer said to St. Peter:

"There must be some mistake. I am only 50 years old, and that's far too young to die."

St. Peter frowned and consulted his book...

A frog walks into a bank and approaches the teller

He sees from her nametag that the woman working at the counter is named 'Patricia Wack'.



"Hello Patricia." the frog says politely. "I'm here today because I'd like to borrow $200,000"



Patricia does a double-take, and looks at the frog incredulously.



"Y...

So a guy walks into a bank in Manhattan and asks for the loan officer

The loan officer comes over immediately.

“How can I help you, sir?” he asks.

“I’m going out of town on business for two weeks and need to borrow $5,000,” the man answers.

The loan officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan.

So, the man ho...

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SEX AND GOOD GRAMMAR

On his 70th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate was for consultation with an Indian medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a simple cure for erectile dysfunction. The husband went to the reservation and saw the medicine man....

A kayak instructor and a priest sit at the gates of heaven.

An angel says to them “sorry, but there is only room for one more person in heaven. “
He then leaves to go consult with the other angels. The priest says “it’s obviously going to be me because I’m the most spiritual.”
The angel then returns and says that the kayak instructor is going to go in....

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This guy is waiting in the doctor’s office. He’s very nervous and decides to talk to the guy beside him

“So, What are you here for?”

“I got a red ring around the base of my penis, and I’m really scared.”

“Wow... I got a green ring... wonder what it is.”


The first guy gets called in. A few more minutes later he comes out beaming. “Nothing to worry about!! “ he tells our friend ...

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I have suffered from an annoying medical condition for a long time.

During sex, when I am just about to come, I suffer from shortness of breath, running nose and I burst into tears. The symptoms turned gradually so bad I had to consult a doctor. Today he called - the lab results were finally ready. It turns out that I am apparently terribly allergic to capsaisin spr...

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Little Johnny swears all the time

His mother is at hers wit’s end. So she went to consult with a Priest.

“My daughter, sometimes we have to strike where it hurts the most, to educate our children. Let me ask you, do you give your son a monthly allowance?”

“Yes, Father, I give him 50 bucks.”

“So, every time he u...

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Captain America and a Grammar Nazi are working for a diamond mine

Captain America and a Grammar Nazi are working for a diamond mine, and they have a meeting with a consultant. The consultant tells them that the mine is flooding the market with too many cheap diamonds, and their income is dropping as a result.

Captain America says, "Well, if you're correct, ...

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Harley Davidson for sale, mint condition, not a single scratch on it, used as my weekend bike. Very low mileage and I am very flexible on the price...

I originally bought this without consulting my wife.

Apparently “Do whatever the fuck you want” doesn’t mean what I thought it did.

How do you perform a circumcision?

Consult your doctor, only a professional knows how to pull it off.

The king of the insect kingdom is feeling depressed...

So he asks his advisors for help. The king says, "Oh, advisors, I am feeling quite sad. Our life is so short as insects and we don't do anything but work!"

The advisors tell him that he needs to find the best joke ever to cheer him up. The king thinks this is a good idea so he travels the kin...

Identity Crises!

A man goes to the doctor's consultation room to get the results of his wife's tests.

The lady on duty tells him: "I'm terribly sorry Mr. but there was a bit of a problem that crept in.

We sent your wife's tests along with another lady with the same surname, to the pathologists. Resul...

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Jewish Sex

No matter what this husband did in bed, his wife never achieved an orgasm.
Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to consult their Rabbi.

The Rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the following suggestion:
Hire a strapping young man.
<...

Went to have my vasectomy today

The doctor asked: "this procedure is irreversible. Have you consulted your wife and kids?"
To which I replied: "yes, we voted it up, 19 were pro and only 2 against."

My best joke in 40 year of joke telling

A woman goes to her doctor for a check up. During the post check up consult the doctor says
“Mrs. Jones you are in very good health but, I couldn’t help but notice the abrasions on your elbows and knees. Can you tell me what is causing them?

Sheepishly she responds “Maybe it is because I...

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A man had 3 testicles.

There was a boy who started developing an extra testicle as he hit puberty. Gradually, it grew to full size and when he became sexually active by the age of 18, the extra testicle led to embarrassing encounters with his partners.

After his 20th birthday, he realised that he had been ignoring...

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An American company and Japanese company decided to have a boat race

Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance levels. On the big day they felt ready. The Japanese won by a mile. The American team was discouraged by the loss and corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hire...

Who is the coolest doctor in the hospital?

The hip consultant

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It's a well-known fact that Hitler...

It's a well-known fact that Hitler often consulted astrologists and people involved in the occult to get direction while Germany fought in World War II.

One day he decided to thank his chief astrologer and called him into his office to say, "we've done really well in the war and I'm grateful...

A man is struggling to pick up women at the Beach

[short] He consults his friend, who tells him, “Dude, women are into the bulge! Put a potato in your bathing suit, and the ladies will be flocking to you!”

After trying it out a few days later, he finds his friend on the beach, and angrily asks, “What the hell am I doing wrong? The ladie...

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