Cite Jokes

No problem et al

The credible hulk

Lloydering.

A cop was approaching from about a block away, thinking to himself, "Boy, my eyes must be going. It looks like that woman is hanging out of her blouse."

But, as he got closer, it became apparent that she really was hanging out her blouse.

When the officer got face to face with the woma... read more

As we were driving along he told me: "I've been a cop for almost 20 years now. I can follow anyone, and I mean anyone for just 1 mile down the road and I can find something I can cite them for."

I said prove it, so he started following the next guy he saw. After a mile he said "I can't believ... read more

I guess you could call it Creddit

An influenzer.

Frightened, he asked his accountant how to dress.


-"Use rags, they'll think you're a beggar," the accountant replied.

When he asked his lawyer, he told him the exact opposite:

-'Don't let them intimidate you. Wear your best suit and most elegant tie'


Confused, t... read more

Does that make him the credible hulk?

The ancient hall was packed with students in deep concentration.

Halfway through, a student stood up, banged his desk and loudly demanded a pint of beer.

The head examiner, furious at the disruption, asked him to 'explain yourself at once'.

The student cited section 7.b of a lon... read more

Knott, et al.

(1) There are more lawyers than rats.

(2) Some people like rats.

(3) There are some things a rat simply _will_ _not_ _do_.

It was love at first cite.

Officials cite gross misunderstanding of “March Madness”…

A guy was on his boat fishing in a pond and caught way over the bag limit. He was heading back to the dock when the game warden stopped him and asked to check what he caught. The warden opens the fishermen's cooler and sees that the guy has surpassed his limit by about 20 fish. The warden tells the ... read more

She was cited for littering

My wife said yesterday that she's almost out of coffee beans. I said "Well I guess that's it, instant coffee for you from here on out."

She asked me "How about divorce from here on out"?

I said "C'MON, that's what you're going to cite as grounds for divorce?"

he's on trial for his double parricide. in his defence the boy cites his recent orphaning and begs the judge to have mercy

I told her I was just ex-cited.

They cited Eminem domain.

Many cite their strong resumes as the key to their success considering they have a lot of experience pan handling.

MLA, however, was love at first cite.

Sources Cited:
1. You know it
2. I know it
3. We all know it

A man was at the lake with a bucket of fish one day when a game warden walked up to him and started to cite him for fishing illegally. The man said “no, you don’t understand, these are my pet fish! I put them in a bucket every day and bring them down to the lake and turn them loose, then I let them ... read more

In January I spent a couple of days at a Benedictine monastery in California. It was a gorgeous place, with a courtyard garden full of fragrant orange trees and a retreat house full of antiques. When I first came through the door, one of the brothers glided up to me and said, "I know what you're thi... read more