I went to the doctor to tell him one of my concerns

I went to the doctor to tell him one of my concerns. After telling him, he asked if I had stutter. So I told him "No, I'm only worried about the vitamin d deficiency!"

Obesity causes a major public health concern.

There’s a growing body of literature on that.

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After his examination, the doctor said to the elderly man: 'You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?'

'In fact, I do.' said the old man. "After I have sex with the wife, I am usually cold and chilly; and then, after I have sex with her the second time, I am usually hot and sweaty."

The doctor could not find any explanation for this.

After examining his elderly wife, the doctor said: 'E...

What do you call a concern about a specific time you may have booked on Native American property?

A reservation reservation reservation.

What’s a crips biggest health concern

High bloods pressure

What’s a horse’s primary concern when voting?

A stable economy.

Due to growing environmentalist concerns, Germany and Austria decided to limit the amount of ores and minerals they were extracting from the ground.

They said, "Mine fewer!"

As she watches the news, an elderly woman calls her husband in concern.

She knows he is driving home, so she calls his cell phone.

"Dear, please be careful on the road today! I just heard on the radio that there is a driver going the wrong way down the highway."

Her husband replies, "Oh, it's not just one. There are hundreds of them!"

As a German I have concerns about the European soccer championship...

Last time it didn't end well when we sent a couple boys to France to defeat all of Europe.

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Post-Surgery Concern

"You'll be fine," the doctor said after finishing the young woman's surgery.

"But", she asked, "How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again doctor?"

The surgeon seemed to pause and his face reddened as a small tear ran down his cheek.

The girl was ala...

These reports of a major snowstorm hitting the Northeast don't concern me.

It's all just flake news.

A.I. is a key concern of all good world leaders.

Unfortunately, ours thinks it’s a steak sauce.

JUST Jokes::MAD COW CONCERN::

A husband and wife go to a restaurant. The waiter approaches the table to take their order.

"I'll have your biggest, juiciest steak," says the husband.

"But sir, what about the mad cow?" asks the waiter.

"Oh," says the husband, "she'll order for herself."

Why didn't the approaching black hole concern the astronaut?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

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(NSFW) I was having mind blowing sex last night with this German girl.

It was incredible, my only concern was she kept screaming her age.

My Son’s #1 Concern

When my three-year-old was told to pee in a cup at the doctor’s office, he unexpectedly got nervous. With a shaking voice, he asked, “Do I have to drink it?”

With the concerns over water quality at the upcoming Rio Olympic games, I think we should ask, what would Jesus do?

Walk on water, he ain't swimming in that filth.

The Washington Redskins are very sensitive to concerns and have decided to change their name...

...to the DC Darkies.

An old lady returns to a grocery store and approaches the cashier.

Cashier: "Hello, how can I help you?"

Lady: "I think you made a mistake with the change, yesterday. There is a difference of €50!"

Cashier: "I'm sorry, but I cannot accept any claims once you have left the store yesterday. Next time, please come to us immediately whenever you have con...

The Highways Agency found over 200 dead crows on the A90 near Stonehaven recently,

Initially there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be from vehicular impacts. However, during analysis it was noted that varying c...

Hearing concerns

A man tells his doctor that he's concerned about his wife's hearing. The doctor tells him that there's an easy test for this: stand far away from her and ask her a question and keep getting closer until she hears him.

So the man goes home and sees his wife cooking dinner. He asks, "What's f...

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A man approaches his best friend's wife one day

when her husband is at the office.

"Will you have sex with me?" he asks.

"No. My husband wouldn't approve."

"O.K. What if I give you $1000?"

"Well, for a $1000 I think I will. Come back tomorrow afternoon when my husband is at work."

So the man shows up next day a...

A Lobster Walks Into a Bar

He goes up to the bartender and says: "Look, before you can serve me, I need to advise you that I'm a lawyer."

"Blimey... A lobster lawyer? That is impressive," says the bartender.

The Lobster puts his briefcase up on the bar, deftly opens it with his claws, and produces a document tha...

blonde goes to the doctor

A blonde goes to the doctor saying everywhere she touches, there is terrible pain. The Doctor asks her to poke different spots on her body and explain the sensation. Everywhere she pokes, she says "OUCH, IT HURTS SO BAD!"



The Doc gives in and gives her an X-ray to try and pinpoint th...

Little Sally came home with a smile.

Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face, and told her mother, "Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today at the playground!" Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut." Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's mom asked, "Really small,...

It’s surprising flat earthers are still using money.

You’d think they’d have concern over it making the world go round.

A man is concerned about his weight

He goes to the doctor and expresses his concern but after she has him step on the scales the doctor advises him that he is a healthy weight.
The man still appears troubled and asks her if there is a significant weight difference between men and women. The doctor replies that there is but for a...

Jack, a renown atheist, dies...

... and to his utter surprise ends up in hell where he's greeted by Satan himself.

Completely shocked he talks to the devil and says: "Welp, I've been wrong all my life and I guess I'm now to pay the price for my lack of faith"

Satan laughs and replies: "Awh it's not so bad down here, ...

A husband and wife who work for the circus go to an adoption agency

looking to adopt a child, but the social workers there raise doubts about their suitability.

So the couple produce photos of their 50-foot motor home, which is clean and well maintained and equipped with a beautiful nursery.

The social workers are satisfied by this but then raise conce...

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An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, is preparing to jump off a bridge...

As he's about to step into the void, a hand grabs him from behind.

He turns back annoyed and sees that the hand belongs to an old bearded overweight guy.

"Why did you stop me you old fool?"

"Have you gone mad my son? You were about to kill yourself!" The old man exclaims with a ...

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Me: Hello, Arnold? T-800, I need your help

Arnold: I’m not a terminator anymore, I’m retired

Me: But my house is filled with cockroaches & rats, please help!!!

Arnold: How‘s that my concern?

Me: If you’re retired doesn’t that make you an exterminator?

My doctor is very rude.

I went in with some legitimate concerns about my prostate and he just gave me the finger!

A bullet may have a name written on it

But a grenade simply says "to whom it may concern"

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An old man went to his doctor complaining that he woke up every morning at 8 AM.

His doctor, puzzled, wondered out loud: “why is this a problem, this seems like a perfectly reasonable time to wake up”. The old man, a bit annoyed by The Doctor’s lack of concern irritably retorted: “but doctor., you don’t get it, every morning I take a shit at 7:30“.

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A guy walks into a bar with a dog...

... The bartender looks up and says, "You can't come in here with that mutt!"

The guy says, "Whoa, whoa, whoa! This ain't no ordinary dog. As a matter of fact, you should be paying for my drinks, because this dog is going to draw a crowd. It's a talking dog."

The bartender scoffs, but ...

I dropped one of my anxiety seeds a while ago

It’s a growing concern

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Guy runs into a bar and yells "Quick I gotta get ten shots of your finest whiskey, fuck the cost, pour the shots I'm gonna take them all!"

The bartender is a bit surprised with the request but he lines up the shots, and watches, with a bit of concern but is also kind of impressed as this guy sits on a barstool and slams shot after shot until they're all down.

"Hot damn!" says the bartender. "That's fucked up, what's going on wit...

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A shot putter says to her coach "We need to talk about these 'supplements' you've been giving me"

He says "Anything the matter with them?" and she says "Well, to be honest, I do have a couple of concerns." She has a quick look around and pulls up the front of her shirt, revealing a thick mass of hair covering her chest and down as far as her waistband.

The coach blinks and says "And how f...

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83 year old Mr. Jones

83 year old Mr. Jones marries a 60 year old woman, and she worries that he might have a stroke or a heart attack if they have sex. So he goes to a doctor and tells him he needs an examination and a letter saying he's healthy enough for sex. The doctor examines him and finds him to be in great shape,...

A well-dressed city slicker breaks down on a country road...

His cellphone is dead, but a kindly farmer tells him he can use the landline in his farmhouse, a few hundred yards back from the road.

The traveller strides hurriedly across the farmer's field in advance of the farmer, but hesitates as he draws near a broad body of water, and turns back to lo...

Why is everyone criticising EA?

I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.

($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this pa...

There was a dragon called Ted

Ted dropped out of school and rarely ever drank water. In fact, his dealer grew concern for him so everytime Ted went to buy his product, he'd ask Ted to drink a bottle of water first. Ted thought nothing of this until one day, curiosity got the better of him.

"Hey, why do you always want me ...

Dr. Amrak, superintendent of the Tidder School District, was nervous about the upcoming budget meeting.

All of the schools in the district needed new benches and tables in their cafeterias. Unfortunately, the Tidder Comets were in a difficult financial situation, and all of the estimates for the cafeteria furniture were way too expensive. One day before the big meeting, Dr. Amrak told his secretary,...

A married woman is walking through a desert cave one day when she comes across a magical genie lamp

She rubs the lamp, and a genie comes out. "Thank you for getting me out of that cursed lamp! I... I was so crowded in there. Listen, to make it up to you, I'll give you three wishes".

The woman is overjoyed. She jumps up and down excitedly, but then the genie speaks again.

"However, I...

How does a vampire start a letter?

Tomb it may concern...

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