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Government

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy,...

Priest and the Camera

Twice a week the local parish priest liked to go up on the roof of the rectory and crank one out. He had decided that this was probably the most discreet and secure place he could be and not be discovered. One day a tourist on a nearby tower was taking pictures of the city landscape and noticed the ...

How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm?

Follow the fresh prints.

Cat prints were found at a murder scene

Its pawsible the cat did it.

I’m starting a club that prints out and mails content from r/jokes to people without internet.

It’ll be called the re-postal service.

I have 1 sibling but 2 brothers

One of them are annoying, and the other one prints.

Need some help creating fake certifications

Apologies if this isn't a good sub to post a request like this. Happy to pull it down.

My coworker has been taking a lot of short online certification courses. Every day he finishes a new course, prints out the certificate of completion and proudly hangs the certificate up on his wall. He's ...

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Breaker, Breaker

There was once a family of three ,a Mom named Shirley, a Dad named Rick, and a little Boy named Spencer. They owned a cat named Sprinkles.

It was a usual Tuesday morning, Rick went to work and Shirley was home with Spencer and Sprinkles. Per usual Shirley started her cleaning regiment, an...

I've invented a machine that prints money.

I programmed it to make coins, but for some reason it keeps printing dollar bills....


It makes no cents.

A man in rags parks a 40-year-old pickup truck next to a printing store and walks up to the counter.

He says:

- I need 20 pictures of Kim Kardashian. I'll pay later.

The store clerk agrees and makes the prints. The truck guy drives away with them. Some time later, he comes back in decent clothes and a 20-year-old truck, pays for the 20 pictures and says:

- I need 50 pictures of...

An Iranian entrepreneur opened a copy shop.

It's called *Prints of Persia*.

The princess at Walgreens

A princess was coming into Walgreens every day, standing at the photo department, waiting for her photos to get developed.

After seeing her doing this for so many days in a row, a kind employee asked if he could help her with anything. She shook her head sadly, and.

"Someday my prints...

I got a job for British gas the other day. For my first assignment they gave me some blue prints marked in inches. I couldn't understand it at all...

I only read meters.

A counterfeiter accidentally prints a $15 note..

not wanting to waste it, he decides to use it in the remote rural part of the country, hoping that the simple folks there could be convinced that it is a new note in circulation.

So he drives to a remote town and while staying at a motel, decides to con the owner.
He walks upto the vendin...

Fresh Foot Prints!

A Californian went out to follow up a grizzly bear and was gone three days. Then he turned up without his game.

“Lost the trail, Bill, I suppose”, said one of his cronies.

“Naw, I kept on the trail alright “

“Then ,what is the matter?”

“Wall, the footprints was getting to...

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As old as the Hills and twice as dusty but no, I've never seen it here

The traveling salesman's car breaks,so he asked a farmer if he can stay there for a few days while his car gets fixed.

The farmer had 2 beautiful daughters, Nellie and Venus.

One night TS takes the older daughter "Venus"on a date to the drive in,using the farmers car.

The next...

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According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem...

A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the ne...

What did snow white say when she came out of the photo booth?

Some day my prints will come...

Will Smith has been connected to an armed robbery in Philadelphia...

They found fresh prints at the scene of the crime.

I didnt do it!

It had been a long day in court & Larry was trying to get George to confess.
Larry: Admit it! You followed her home. Then, as she turned a corner, you stabbed her.

George: i didn't do it. I'm innocent.

Larry: Don't lie to me. Prints of your shoes were found in her garden.
...

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