My dad always brags that his was the first profession to go completely digital.

He’s a proctologist.

If your digital multimeter gives a bogus reading, try it again.

It's probably a Fluke.

Why were photographers so depressed before digital cameras were invented?

They spent too long processing the negatives.

This new digital currency is bitc*in!

Sorry. Bitcoin. It’s called bitcoin

It's hard to be a Buddhist in todays digital world, especially when it comes to emails.

No attachments.

There was once a billionaire philanthropist with a curious idea....

"What would happen if he gave modern musical instruments to tribal people who have never been in contact with the outer world? He decided to do just that, and to return after 10 years. The tribesmen were given an electric guitar, bass, a drum kit, digital keys, everything needed to make music with o...

What's the fastest way to read braille?

Digitally.

I put scaffolding on my Hi-fi and steel girders on my digital radio.

Then my mom told me to stop reinforcing stereo types.

I used a digital dog whistle on my dog at max frequency

His other ear Hertz now

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bud the Cowboy

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new 2019 AUDI advanced towards him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man named Cliff in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked...

What was the first form of digital storage?

gloves

I got one of those digital assistant things for Christmas, but I think it's defective

It refuses to open the pod bay doors.

How was the first digital sound created?

Someone snapped their fingers.

I was getting a prostate examination when the doctor said "just so you know, this is a digital rectal exam".

"I understand. I know what is involved", I reply.

The doctor elaborates, "Just so you know, this exam will likely cause an erection".

I consider it for a moment and say, "That's fine, I've got it under control. It should be ok".

The doctor replies, "I wasn't talking about you."

The digital internet consists of 1s and 0s.

That explains alot about my Tinder matches.

Why did Slovakia move to digital banking?

because they ran out of Czechs

What do you call it when you dropped your mobile in a deep hole in the ground?

Digital well-being.

My brother has been working on a belt with a built in digital clock.

Talk about a waist of time.

Why don't lepers use the Internet?

Because they're digitally challenged.

How come erotic games are always digital downloads?

I just want a physical release.

I tossed my wife into a well, but then I thought this was too harsh and threw her smartphone after her.

So she can now enjoy digital well-being

What do you call an anti-aircraft gun that shoots high-quality digital audio files?

A .flac gun

Why does the US military use digital camo?

They turned down the graphics for better performance

What did the male digital signal ask a female digital signal?

Do you do ANALog?

David and Shane worked for a small furniture company which had recently developed a new product.

They had been developing a new kind of smart shelf, and it was finally finished. This shelf had everything! Part of it featured a built in wireless charger, there were USB ports, part of it could flip up to reveal a screen which could be used as digital picture frame as well as had access to YouTube...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guys, if you get a digital rectal exam, you might feel like you're going to poop or going to orgasm.

You won't know whether you're coming or going.

Why aren't digital images of Bob Marley scalable?

Because they're all rasta graphics.

After the invention of digital watches, the Swiss were in quite a bind...

Faced with what seemed like an existential threat to their national watch manufacturers, the Swiss Government send out pamphlets to foreign and domestic watch owners, asking them to sign up if they were interested in buying mechanical watches as gifts or fashion statements. Unfortunately, no one sig...

What do you call a digital tree?

All bark and no byte

A digital pirate lost his leg.

He now has a JPEG leg to replace it.

How do you catch a digital fish

Online

Mr Peg, my Digital Photography teacher, just passed away.

Rest in peace Jay.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So, I measured my penis with one of those digital rulers...

...Anyone know how to convert LOL into inches?

What did the digital clock say to it's Mother?

"Look Ma, no hands!"

I tried to make a clock with no battery for the digital clock competition

but it didn't count.

An artist walks into a bar and orders a beer.

"I don't like the way the art world is going. I've read that in the future many exhibitions will only feature digital images displayed on plasma screens in darkened, futuristic galleries," he complained to the bartender. "I'm going to miss the art formerly known as prints.

The man who saved Reddit

In the not too distant future, web censorship is pervasive; speech and freedom are strangers to one another; while pirates sail the seas with impunity, digital pirates are incarcerated by the busload.

Anyone who speaks out against this ban on open-dialogue or the free-sharing-of-ideas is grou...

Have you seen my digital boat?

Oh wait, its syncing.

Where does a digital photographer hang his work?

On a jpeg.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A new nurse starts working at the hospital and is assigned to go take the vitals of the patients on the floor.

A second nurse is assigned to follow her to make sure she does it right and to check her work. The new nurse is chatting about how her nursing school is really pushing all kinds of new modern techniques and she can't wait to use them every day.

In the first patient's room, the nurse takes the...

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and an Israeli are having lunch...

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and an Israeli are having lunch. They get to talking about which civilization was the most technologically advanced.

The Englishman proclaims, "Surely England was the most technologically advanced nation. Why, our archaeologists dug 1,000 meters into the earth un...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Pope was having a shower,

and although he's very strict about celibacy, he occasionally felt he needed to exercise the papal wrist, and this happened to be one of those occasions.


Just as he reached the Papal climax, he saw a photographer taking a picture of the Holy semen flying through the air.


"Hol...

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