What did the digital clock say to the analog clock?

Look, no hands!

I can make digital art and canvas art easily.

But when it comes to paper, that's where I draw the line.

Spent some cryptocurrency to take digital possession of an image of Gandalf killing the Balrog of Morgoth...

My first non-fungible Tolkien.

New digital LOTR trading card JPEGs for sale!!!

Non Fungible Tolkien’s

Introducing digital “crypto” humor. There is no set up.

There’s no joke, and there is no punchline. You have to just trust that it’s funny.

Digital Milk

What do you call a computer mouse for a cow?...

a Moose!

My doctor asked if I wanted a digital prostate exam..

He didn't mention there were no electronics involved but now I get his point

There's nothing in the Guinness Book about digital DJs.

They don't hold any records.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Husband goes to a police station, says ‘My wife is missing!’

Husband goes to a police station...
“My wife is missing! She went out yesterday and has not come home...”

Sergeant at Police Station:
“What is her height?”

Husband:
“Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall

Sergeant:
“Weight?”

Husband:
“Don't know. N...

Superman lost all of his money on a digital currency scheme

It was his cryptonite.

A man goes to buy a clock.

He's browsing in the clock shop. Suddenly he hears a little voice "Get digital you probably can't read analogue."
Startled, he looks around. Nobody is there.

A few minutes later, he hears another little voice "Your shoes belong in a museum!"
He spins around. Noone there.

As he ...

I name my little guy after a digital game store

Say hello to Humble Bundle

How do you set your digital location to Skyrim?

You use NordVPN

What do you call two digital artists in a fight?

Graphic Violence

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

By tightly securing our Nuclear Arsenal through human, digital, mechanical and chemical means, we've been able to almost completely eliminate the risk of nuclear warhead explosions due to accidents or hostile attacks, however if these past four years have taught us something ...

... it's that we also need to equip our nukes with child locks.

Tech company mission statements be like

We're a customer centric organization and we deliver the value of IOT, cloud, big data, blockchain, machine learning, and artificial intelligence by using design thinking to drive digital transformation for the connected enterprise.

If your digital multimeter gives a bogus reading, try it again.

It's probably a Fluke.

My dad always brags that his was the first profession to go completely digital.

He’s a proctologist.

What is an example of a Facebook paradox?

Discovering one of their user's is trying to build a bomb and having to decide between reporting him to the FBI or serving him ads for digital timers

Why were photographers so depressed before digital cameras were invented?

They spent too long processing the negatives.

What was the first form of digital storage?

gloves

This new digital currency is bitc*in!

Sorry. Bitcoin. It’s called bitcoin

What do you call someone who specializes in selling insurance to hand models?

A digital security specialist.

I put scaffolding on my Hi-fi and steel girders on my digital radio.

Then my mom told me to stop reinforcing stereo types.

It's hard to be a Buddhist in todays digital world, especially when it comes to emails.

No attachments.

I was getting a prostate examination when the doctor said "just so you know, this is a digital rectal exam".

"I understand. I know what is involved", I reply.

The doctor elaborates, "Just so you know, this exam will likely cause an erection".

I consider it for a moment and say, "That's fine, I've got it under control. It should be ok".

The doctor replies, "I wasn't talking about you."

The digital internet consists of 1s and 0s.

That explains alot about my Tinder matches.

I got one of those digital assistant things for Christmas, but I think it's defective

It refuses to open the pod bay doors.

what does a digital seagull wear to the beech

a beak.ini

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jack is a cowboy working on a large ranch in a remote pasture in Wyoming.

One day as he’s overseeing the livestock on the ranch a brand-new 7 Series BMW suddenly advances towards him creating an enormous cloud of dust in the process

The car stops and the driver is a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses and YSL tie. He steps out of the car and...

How was the first digital sound created?

Someone snapped their fingers.

My brother has been working on a belt with a built in digital clock.

Talk about a waist of time.

Why did Slovakia move to digital banking?

because they ran out of Czechs

What did the male digital signal ask a female digital signal?

Do you do ANALog?

How come erotic games are always digital downloads?

I just want a physical release.

Why does the US military use digital camo?

They turned down the graphics for better performance

Why aren't digital images of Bob Marley scalable?

Because they're all rasta graphics.

What do you call an anti-aircraft gun that shoots high-quality digital audio files?

A .flac gun

A cannibal had an unusual hobby.

He would save the extremities of bodies and use them to form works of art. The others began questioning him. "What's up with all these pictures made out of fingers and toes?" they asked. He responded, "Oh, I just really like working with digital media."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two friends are in a bar, on a night out, having a couple of drinks.

After several rounds, one of them asks:
„Hey man, what time is it?“

The other one takes a look at his wristwatch and replies: „No clue“

„What do you mean, no clue? You have a digital watch?“

He responds with: „Sure, but you try dividing 23 with 49“

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guys, if you get a digital rectal exam, you might feel like you're going to poop or going to orgasm.

You won't know whether you're coming or going.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So, I measured my penis with one of those digital rulers...

...Anyone know how to convert LOL into inches?

After the invention of digital watches, the Swiss were in quite a bind...

Faced with what seemed like an existential threat to their national watch manufacturers, the Swiss Government send out pamphlets to foreign and domestic watch owners, asking them to sign up if they were interested in buying mechanical watches as gifts or fashion statements. Unfortunately, no one sig...

What do you call a digital tree?

All bark and no byte

How do you catch a digital fish

Online

Mr Peg, my Digital Photography teacher, just passed away.

Rest in peace Jay.

I phoned 999 and told the guy that two men had just broken into my house and stolen my CDs.

"Could you please give me a description of them?" the man asked.



"Certainly," I replied. "They're round plastic discs on which music or other digital information is stored."

A digital pirate lost his leg.

He now has a JPEG leg to replace it.

I tried to make a clock with no battery for the digital clock competition

but it didn't count.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pope taking a shower!

The Pope was having a shower and although he's very strict about celibacy, he occasionally felt he needed to exercise the papal wrist, and this happened to be one of those occasions. Just as he reached the Papal climax, he saw a photographer taking a picture of the Holy semen flying through the air...

Have you seen my digital boat?

Oh wait, its syncing.

Where does a digital photographer hang his work?

On a jpeg.

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