This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

night before christmas (covid edition)

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse,

Do you know why? Because none of us were

allowed out,

Looked out into the street and no Christmas decorations about,

Looked out of the window, what did I s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Husband goes to a police station, says ‘My wife is missing!’

Husband goes to a police station...
“My wife is missing! She went out yesterday and has not come home...”

Sergeant at Police Station:
“What is her height?”

Husband:
“Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall

Sergeant:
“Weight?”

Husband:
“Don't know. N...

My friend: the newest edition of the Anger Management Dictionary still doesnt have the word "patience!"

Me: Just wait.

Fortnite just released a special Jewish edition of the game

It'll have no Thor skin

Somebody stole my first edition copies of 1984 and Animal Farm.

Oh well.

I finally bought the limited edition thesaurus that I've always wanted. When I opened it, all the pages were blank.

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

Ford is working on a special edition O.J. Simpson Bronco

But instead of white it will be Nicole Brown with blood red interior

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her Father cursed her heavily.



'Where have ye been all this time, child? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother through?'

The girl, crying, replied, Daddy... I became a prostitute.'

'Ye what!? Get out a here, ye shameless harlot! Sinn...

ABBA songs Ramadan edition

Gimme gimme gimme a naan after midnight

A new father is sitting down with his dad for a drink.

His dad tells him, "Now that you're a father, it's time I give you something very special." He replies, "Dad, you're not talking about-." His father interrupts, "Yes. It's time." With this he hands his son a copy of '1000 Dad Jokes, 1st Edition'. His son says with a tear in his eye, "Dad, I'm honore...

Did you hear they are remaking “The Passion of the Christ” from the Gentiles point of view?

They’re calling it the “Uncut” edition.

Humpty Dumpty, grumpy parent edition

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,

Humpty Dumpty shouldn't've been there at all.

Humpty Dumpty wasn't very tall,

So Humpty Dumpty of course had a fall.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.