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Publishing Jokes

What's my job as an editor at a publishing house like?

Well, to cut a long story short.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A publishing company is under fire for their headline "Half of Senate Are Fucking Idiots." So they issued a correction the next day

"Half of Senate Are Not Fucking Idiots."

Did you hear Bill Cosby’s publishing a memoir?

It’s titled “the Coma Sutra.”

Did you hear about the book of poetry that the Black Eyed Peas are publishing?

It's written in Will.I.Ambic Pentameter

Most Star Trek fans aren't big into poetry, so I knew that writing and publishing a book of Trek-themed poems would be risky but rewarding.

The project had its prose and Khans.

A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed as it left a New York publishing house last Thursday.

According to the Associated Press,
witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied,
confused, punchy, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered,
mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, flabbergasted,
astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, boggled, 
overwhelme...

Apparently it is impossible to find out the true number of Americans hospitalized due to hippo attacks...

Publishing that information would be a HIPPO violation.

[Cite: heavily inspired by a recent XKCD comic].

A lady finds out what a reference said about to her potential employer and is upset by it.

She calls her friend and asks him: "Why did you say I was a racist?!"

The friend is confused and asks "what are you talking about?"

The lady tells him, "You know how I listed you as a reference for that job in publishing? Because I always wanted to work in publishing? Well, not alway...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is a fancy way to tell people you're shitting in the woods?

Just tell them you are publishing in Nature.

Heir of a world famous laundering business in the 19th century...

took control of his fathers business after the father's passing. Mr. Bartholomew Nutts was not like his father. He used to flirt with all the young ladies who used to wash all the dirty clothes. After a little while things escalated, and it appeared that more than a few of the workers were in child'...

The 90s must have sucked for Wild Cards fans

From 1995 to 2002 George R. R. Martin was busy publishing another series and no new Wild Cards books were released. I can't imagine being in that situation, waiting years and years for the next book in a series by GRRM that I've come to love.

So a horse is in a farm...

A horse is in a farm when one day he finds a website that claims it can teach any farm animal music.

"That's amazing," thinks the horse "I've always wanted to learn to sing."

He signs up for the website, and within a few weeks he is an incredible singer.

Impressed, he tells his ...

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