My least favorite color is purple.

I hate it more than red and blue combined.

Why does Batman only wear dark colors? Easy. Batman doesn't want to get shot. Why does Robin only wear bright colors?

Easy.


Batman doesn't want to get shot.

Today I thought of a color that doesn't exist...

but then I realized it was just a pigment of my imagination.

A husband buys a dozen panties of the same color for his wife.

His wife protests:"Why all the same color, people will think I dont change my panties."

Husband asks:"Which people?"

A blonde colors her hair red and moves countryside

She meets a farmer and challenges him: "If I can guess your profession, I get your dog for free."
The farmer agrees.
The blonde declares that he is a farmer, and wins the bet.
As she's stuffing the animal into the trunk of her Fiat, the farmer says: "if I can guess your real hair color, ca...

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until

they are flashing behind you.

It’s really tough being a color blind person from Colorado

The only thing I see is “ado”

I made a sideshow of guessing whether you're right or left handed just by asking your favorite color.

I'm very proud of my 90% success rate.

What’s Hellen Keller’s favorite color?

Velcro

What do you call it when a chameleon won’t change colors?

A reptile dysfunction.

I got a vasectomy but my gf still got pregnant.

Apparently, all a vasectomy does is change the color of the baby.

I dreamt that I invented a new color last night

Turns out it was just a pigment of my imagination

Why do leaves change color in Autumn?

Because instead of chlorophyll, they chloro-empty.

Why do we color Easter eggs?

Because Jesus dyed for your sins.

Happy Easter!

What color is a US dollar?

Mint green

How do you spell the color that is an equal mix of white and black?

USA: Gray

Britain: Grey

Canada: Grehy

- Is white a color?

- Yes it is.

- Is black a color?

- Yes it is.

- That means I sold you a colored TV!

Took my chameleon to the vet cause he stopped changing colors.

Doctor says he has a reptile disfunction.

I was just diagnosed with color blindness...

... it came completely out of the purple.

A mental hospital decides to teach its patients the colors.

They first paint a wall red. Within the next day the patients had already eaten the wall.

Surprised but resilient, the doctors paint another wall and are again surprised that by tommorow the wall had been eaten.

Intrigued the doctors paint another wall green but this time the patients ...

Why don’t Americans spell “color” like “colour?”

It was their way of telling Great Britain that they don’t need u.

I took a Color blind test...

Damn optometrist thinks I didn’t realize she showed a bunch of green circles without numbers

My wife told me her dreams were in vivid, but weird colors.

I told her it was just a pigment of her imagination.

Green is definitely my favorite color

I like it far more than blue and yellow combined

How does Bono spell the word 'color'?

With or without U

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went to the doctor because my testicles were turning a greenish-brown color

He said I have Hazelnuts.

Color vs Colour, Favorite vs Favourite, Neighbor vs Neighbour

British English: I think you're having problem understanding these words.
American English: no u

What’s a colorblind person’s favorite state?

ado.

Do you know what color a fart makes if you're not careful?

Shartreuse

What color breaks the law?

Violate.

I passed my kidney stones with flying colors!

But mostly red.

What is Stevie Wonder’s favorite color?

Felt

The other day, my wife asked me if I could help her with a puzzle. She couldn't find any edges to start with and the colors all resembled each other.

After taking a look at the puzzle, I told her to put the corn flakes back in the box

What color is the letter M?

Pastel

What is a pirate's favorite fruit? Favorite color?

The answer to both questions is "Arrr-inj", and if they don't drink rum, they drink arrrr-rinj juice.

What is The Night Kings favorite color?

Burnt Umber.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] A teacher is showing her class how to associate colors with flavors.

She gives Sally a green Lifesaver. Sally pops into her mouth and says, "it's lime!"

The teacher says, "very good." And hands Timmy a red Lifesaver.

Timmy tastes it and says, "it's strawberry!"

The teacher says,"correct." Next she gives Billy a brown, honey flavored Lifesaver. <...

What color is Sprite Cranberry?

The answer is clear

Don't be ashamed about your skin color.

At Least your skeleton is white.

My girlfriend just yelled at me to "seperate the whites from the colors!"

Yeah, racist as hell. If that's the way she's going to act, she can go to the laundromat alone next time.

what color do you get when you hit a blue man with a yellow hammer?

Red

I just got diagnosed with color blindness.

I gotta say this diagnosis came out of the orange.

What is Miley Cyrus’ favorite color?

Twerkoise

A teacher is helping her young students with their colors and shapes.

"Boys and Girls, I'm thinking of something round and red!" she says.

Julie's hand shoots up. "A cherry!!" she says, beaming.

"Noooooo," says the teacher, "It's an apple...But I'm glad you're thinking...... "

She smiles at the class. "Let's try another one!" she says. "I'm think...

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There is this African-American kid that goes to school and notices that the teachers treat the white kids better than the kids of color.

So he goes home and paints himself white and shows his dad. "Hey dad look im white!"

His dad kicks his ass, and says "Alright go show your mother."

The kid goes "Hey mom look im white!"

His mom beats the shit out of him then tells him to go show his grandma.

The kid aga...

There's a theory that people don't see the exact same colors

Does that mean
*color is a pigment of you imagination*

huehuehuehue

what color is the sun?

I looked at it for a couple of minutes and I think it is black

I was forced to swallow purple food color.

I feel violated.

It doesn’t matter what color of skin you have

Whether it’s purple, black, orange, brown, or normal.

Wife Missing?

The first thing a grieving husband should do is CALL THE COPS!

Husband: "My wife of 15 years is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!"
Sheriff: "Height?"
Husband: "I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall."
Sheriff: "Weight?"
Husband: "Don't kn...

Why are Chinese colors so bland?

Because they’re always beige-ing.

All of the heroes of Overwatch have natural hair colors...

Because heroes never dye.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy with bright blue, green and orange color hair was standing at a bus stop.

Few moments later along came Old Seymour, stood near him and kept staring at him hard.
Annoyed by the stares the guy asked him, "What's up old man! Never done something wild?"
To this Seymour replied, "Yeah,I fucked a chicken once and I'm wondering if you are my son."

In Mexico, UNO is actually only played with three colors.

Well, they come with four, but everyone just keeps the green cards for themselves.

What has an N, an I, two G's, an E, and an R and can be used to describe people of a certain color?

'Ginger'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What Color Is It?

A good looking soccer mom was shopping at the grocery store feeling lonely and horny.
In the check out stand she noticed a young bagger and thought she might approach him.
When he asked if he could take her groceries to her car she excitedly said, "Yes."
As they headed to the door sh...

I accidentally drank the water we used to color eggs for Easter.

I think I dyed a little inside.

A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack.

Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.

“Olympic condoms?”, she blurts, “What makes them so special?”

“There are three colors”, he replies, “Gold, Silver and Bronze.”

“What color are you going to wear tonight?”, she asks cheekily.
“Gold of course...

When Louis Armstrong was a child, he was colorblind, a doctor asked him if he wanted to do this experimental surgery to allow him to see colors. After the procedure, they ask him what does he see, he tells them...

I see trees of green, and red roses too.

I've just been told by my doctor that I'm color blind

It completely came out of the orange

What do you call a rainbow without any colors?

A plainbow.

Credit to my 6 year old.

If someone changes their hair color to or from red,

Does that make them transginger?

I picked out a color of grey paint the other day, I guess the salesman didn't like it.

He just said "Oh, the hue manatee."

Whats a fedora clad, neck bearded gentlemen's favorite color?

M'genta

Did you know that members of the KKK thought that being touched by a person of color would cause cysts?

They were called race cysts.

I had a vasectomy. Did you know that it actually doesn't prevent your wife from getting pregnant it just changes the color of the baby.

Or at least that's what my mailman said.

Whats up with all this LGBTQ+ stuff?

Like I get there are more colors, but can't we just stick to **RGB**?

What's the difference between the color pink and the color purple?

Your grip!

Today I saw this absolutely stunning color that I've never seen before! It was indescribable, but when I blinked, it disappeared.

I guess it was just a pigment of my imagination.

I just found out I'm colorblind.

The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.

It’s 1990, I told my idiot brother to take some money and buy a color TV

He came back home and asked “what color”

My chameleon couldn’t change colors, so I took him to the vet…

Poor guy was diagnosed with ereptile dysfunction.

I was on acid and I actually tasted colors.

Tasted a lot like paint.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was in the library the other day when a black man came up to me and asked me where the colored printers were?

I replied, "Dude, it's 2018, you can use whatever printer you want."

Oh so you’re buying a book on colors?

I red it already.

What color does your skin turn if you spill molten gold on it?

Au-burn

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