A blonde colors her hair red and moves countryside

She meets a farmer and challenges him: "If I can guess your profession, I get your dog for free."
The farmer agrees.
The blonde declares that he is a farmer, and wins the bet.
As she's stuffing the animal into the trunk of her Fiat, the farmer says: "if I can guess your real hair color, ca...

My least favorite color is purple.

I hate it more than red and blue combined.

A husband buys a dozen panties of the same color for his wife.

His wife protests:"Why all the same color, people will think I dont change my panties."

Husband asks:"Which people?"

A black guy in an library asked me where the colored printer was

I said "Sir, this is 2019. You can use any printer you want".

What color is a window?

Well, the answer's pretty clear.

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"

“Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life," her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple.

The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why's the groom wearing black?"

Why does Batman only wear dark colors? Easy. Batman doesn't want to get shot. Why does Robin only wear bright colors?

Easy.


Batman doesn't want to get shot.

I have color blindness

That means I never lost game of UNO

An American patriot told me, “These colors don’t run.”

Well actually yes they do. Faster than anything else in the universe: the speed of light.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do the colors in the German flag stand for?

Black: cars

Red: sausages

Yellow: beer

Blue: jews

Today I thought of a color that doesn't exist...

but then I realized it was just a pigment of my imagination.

Choose a color, I’m taking a survey.

Reddit is, then

I accidentally drank a little food coloring earlier today..

I ended up dying inside.

Have you ever wondered why Americans spell it, "Color" or "Neighbor" and Canadians spell it, "Colour" and "Neighbour"?

It's because America doesn't care about you

What do the colors on the Polish flag stand for?

Red: Courage

White: Resilience

Blue: Reliable allies

The colors red, white and blue represent freedom...

...except when they are flashing on the car behind!

What color were the skies over the Bahamas thus weekend?

Dorian Gray

I dreamt that I invented a new color last night

Turns out it was just a pigment of my imagination

I made a sideshow of guessing whether you're right or left handed just by asking your favorite color.

I'm very proud of my 90% success rate.

Why do leaves change color in Autumn?

Because instead of chlorophyll, they chloro-empty.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Found out I was color blind yesterday

Fuckin came completely out of the purple

I got a vasectomy but my gf still got pregnant.

Apparently, all a vasectomy does is change the color of the baby.

What’s it called when a chameleon can’t change its colors anymore?

A reptile dysfunction!

- Is white a color?

- Yes it is.

- Is black a color?

- Yes it is.

- That means I sold you a colored TV!

How do you spell the color that is an equal mix of white and black?

USA: Gray

Britain: Grey

Canada: Grehy

Why do we color Easter eggs?

Because Jesus dyed for your sins.

Happy Easter!

What color is a US dollar?

Mint green

Color vs Colour, Favorite vs Favourite, Neighbor vs Neighbour

British English: I think you're having problem understanding these words.
American English: no u

Took my chameleon to the vet cause he stopped changing colors.

Doctor says he has a reptile disfunction.

Harry Potter just released a new figure of its leading hero Mr. Scamander. But it isn’t very good the shirt is the wrong color, the scarf is too short, the nose is to long, and a bunch of other little things are wrong.

Did they really think I wouldn’t notice all these wrong My Newt details?

What’s Hellen Keller’s favorite color?

Velcro

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] A teacher is showing her class how to associate colors with flavors.

She gives Sally a green Lifesaver. Sally pops into her mouth and says, "it's lime!"

The teacher says, "very good." And hands Timmy a red Lifesaver.

Timmy tastes it and says, "it's strawberry!"

The teacher says,"correct." Next she gives Billy a brown, honey flavored Lifesaver. <...

It’s really tough being a color blind person from Colorado

The only thing I see is “ado”

How does Bono spell the word 'color'?

With or without U

My wife told me her dreams were in vivid, but weird colors.

I told her it was just a pigment of her imagination.

I took a Color blind test...

Damn optometrist thinks I didn’t realize she showed a bunch of green circles without numbers

Why don’t Americans spell “color” like “colour?”

It was their way of telling Great Britain that they don’t need u.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went to the doctor because my testicles were turning a greenish-brown color

He said I have Hazelnuts.

What color breaks the law?

Violate.

What is The Night Kings favorite color?

Burnt Umber.

I completed my karate exam with flying colors!

Black and blue that is.

Do you know what color a fart makes if you're not careful?

Shartreuse

I passed my kidney stones with flying colors!

But mostly red.

The other day, my wife asked me if I could help her with a puzzle. She couldn't find any edges to start with and the colors all resembled each other.

After taking a look at the puzzle, I told her to put the corn flakes back in the box

Green is definitely my favorite color

I like it far more than blue and yellow combined

What is Stevie Wonder’s favorite color?

Felt

What color is the letter M?

Pastel

What’s a colorblind person’s favorite state?

ado.

A teacher is helping her young students with their colors and shapes.

"Boys and Girls, I'm thinking of something round and red!" she says.

Julie's hand shoots up. "A cherry!!" she says, beaming.

"Noooooo," says the teacher, "It's an apple...But I'm glad you're thinking...... "

She smiles at the class. "Let's try another one!" she says. "I'm think...

What color is Sprite Cranberry?

The answer is clear

What is Miley Cyrus’ favorite color?

Twerkoise

I just got diagnosed with color blindness.

I gotta say this diagnosis came out of the orange.

My girlfriend just yelled at me to "seperate the whites from the colors!"

Yeah, racist as hell. If that's the way she's going to act, she can go to the laundromat alone next time.

I was forced to swallow purple food color.

I feel violated.

What color was Kurt Cobain's eyes?

Blue. One blew this way, and the other blew the other way.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There is this African-American kid that goes to school and notices that the teachers treat the white kids better than the kids of color.

So he goes home and paints himself white and shows his dad. "Hey dad look im white!"

His dad kicks his ass, and says "Alright go show your mother."

The kid goes "Hey mom look im white!"

His mom beats the shit out of him then tells him to go show his grandma.

The kid aga...

Don't be ashamed about your skin color.

At Least your skeleton is white.

Why did French use yellow as the color for their angry vest movement ?

It fits so well with their teeth.

All of the heroes of Overwatch have natural hair colors...

Because heroes never dye.

Why are Chinese colors so bland?

Because they’re always beige-ing.

There's a theory that people don't see the exact same colors

Does that mean
*color is a pigment of you imagination*

huehuehuehue

what color do you get when you hit a blue man with a yellow hammer?

Red

What has an N, an I, two G's, an E, and an R and can be used to describe people of a certain color?

'Ginger'

Wife Missing?

The first thing a grieving husband should do is CALL THE COPS!

Husband: "My wife of 15 years is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!"
Sheriff: "Height?"
Husband: "I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall."
Sheriff: "Weight?"
Husband: "Don't kn...

what color is the sun?

I looked at it for a couple of minutes and I think it is black

It doesn’t matter what color of skin you have

Whether it’s purple, black, orange, brown, or normal.

I accidentally drank the water we used to color eggs for Easter.

I think I dyed a little inside.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy with bright blue, green and orange color hair was standing at a bus stop.

Few moments later along came Old Seymour, stood near him and kept staring at him hard.
Annoyed by the stares the guy asked him, "What's up old man! Never done something wild?"
To this Seymour replied, "Yeah,I fucked a chicken once and I'm wondering if you are my son."

Whats a fedora clad, neck bearded gentlemen's favorite color?

M'genta

When Louis Armstrong was a child, he was colorblind, a doctor asked him if he wanted to do this experimental surgery to allow him to see colors. After the procedure, they ask him what does he see, he tells them...

I see trees of green, and red roses too.

In Mexico, UNO is actually only played with three colors.

Well, they come with four, but everyone just keeps the green cards for themselves.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What Color Is It?

A good looking soccer mom was shopping at the grocery store feeling lonely and horny.
In the check out stand she noticed a young bagger and thought she might approach him.
When he asked if he could take her groceries to her car she excitedly said, "Yes."
As they headed to the door sh...

I've just been told by my doctor that I'm color blind

It completely came out of the orange

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