A husband buys a dozen panties of the same color for his wife.

His wife protests:"Why all the same color, people will think I dont change my panties."

Husband asks:"Which people?"

My least favorite color is purple.

I hate it more than red and blue combined.

Why do we color Easter eggs?

Because Jesus dyed for your sins.

Happy Easter!

What color is a US dollar?

Mint green

Took my chameleon to the vet cause he stopped changing colors.

Doctor says he has a reptile disfunction.

What do you call it when a chameleon can't change colors?

E-Reptile dysfunction.

Why don’t Americans spell “color” like “colour?”

It was their way of telling Great Britain that they don’t need u.

Color vs Colour, Favorite vs Favourite, Neighbor vs Neighbour

British English: I think you're having problem understanding these words.
American English: no u

Green is definitely my favorite color

I like it far more than blue and yellow combined

What is The Night Kings favorite color?

Burnt Umber.

I completed my karate exam with flying colors!

Black and blue that is.

A blonde colors her hair red and moves countryside

She meets a farmer and challenges him: "If I can guess your profession, I get your dog for free."
The farmer agrees.
The blonde declares that he is a farmer, and wins the bet.
As she's stuffing the animal into the trunk of her Fiat, the farmer says: "if I can guess your real hair color, ca...

I was just diagnosed with color blindness...

... it came completely out of the purple.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I went to the doctor because my testicles were turning a greenish-brown color

He said I have Hazelnuts.

Do you know what color a fart makes if you're not careful?

Shartreuse

What color breaks the law?

Violate.

I passed my kidney stones with flying colors!

But mostly red.

An artist thought he had lost his favorite color of paint but...

It was just a pigment of his imagination

What is Stevie Wonder’s favorite color?

Felt

The other day, my wife asked me if I could help her with a puzzle. She couldn't find any edges to start with and the colors all resembled each other.

After taking a look at the puzzle, I told her to put the corn flakes back in the box

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

[NSFW] A teacher is showing her class how to associate colors with flavors.

She gives Sally a green Lifesaver. Sally pops into her mouth and says, "it's lime!"

The teacher says, "very good." And hands Timmy a red Lifesaver.

Timmy tastes it and says, "it's strawberry!"

The teacher says,"correct." Next she gives Billy a brown, honey flavored Lifesaver. <...

How does Bono spell the word 'color'?

With or without U

What is a pirate's favorite fruit? Favorite color?

The answer to both questions is "Arrr-inj", and if they don't drink rum, they drink arrrr-rinj juice.

I dreamed about a color once, but when I woke up I realized it wasn't real.

It was a pigment of my imagination.

What is Miley Cyrus’ favorite color?

Twerkoise

What color is the letter M?

Pastel

My girlfriend just yelled at me to "seperate the whites from the colors!"

Yeah, racist as hell. If that's the way she's going to act, she can go to the laundromat alone next time.

A wife returns from the salon, "Honey, I took your advice and got a new hair color, what do you think?"

Husband: I think you misunderstood what I meant when I said "it's time to diet".

Don't be ashamed about your skin color.

At Least your skeleton is white.

What color is Sprite Cranberry?

The answer is clear

Ugh. They stopped selling "skin color" Crayons.

I guess I can still draw people when my Crayons run out, but albino more.

what color do you get when you hit a blue man with a yellow hammer?

Red

Batman dresses exclusively in dark colors because Batman doesn't want to get shot.

Robin dresses exclusively in bright colors because Batman doesn't want to get shot.

A teacher is helping her young students with their colors and shapes.

"Boys and Girls, I'm thinking of something round and red!" she says.

Julie's hand shoots up. "A cherry!!" she says, beaming.

"Noooooo," says the teacher, "It's an apple...But I'm glad you're thinking...... "

She smiles at the class. "Let's try another one!" she says. "I'm think...

Why are Chinese colors so bland?

Because they’re always beige-ing.

I just got diagnosed with color blindness.

I gotta say this diagnosis came out of the orange.

what color is the sun?

I looked at it for a couple of minutes and I think it is black

It doesn’t matter what color of skin you have

Whether it’s purple, black, orange, brown, or normal.

There's a theory that people don't see the exact same colors

Does that mean
*color is a pigment of you imagination*

huehuehuehue

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

There is this African-American kid that goes to school and notices that the teachers treat the white kids better than the kids of color.

So he goes home and paints himself white and shows his dad. "Hey dad look im white!"

His dad kicks his ass, and says "Alright go show your mother."

The kid goes "Hey mom look im white!"

His mom beats the shit out of him then tells him to go show his grandma.

The kid aga...

They say red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom.

Until they start flashing behind you.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A guy with bright blue, green and orange color hair was standing at a bus stop.

Few moments later along came Old Seymour, stood near him and kept staring at him hard.
Annoyed by the stares the guy asked him, "What's up old man! Never done something wild?"
To this Seymour replied, "Yeah,I fucked a chicken once and I'm wondering if you are my son."

In Mexico, UNO is actually only played with three colors.

Well, they come with four, but everyone just keeps the green cards for themselves.

I was forced to swallow purple food color.

I feel violated.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What Color Is It?

A good looking soccer mom was shopping at the grocery store feeling lonely and horny.
In the check out stand she noticed a young bagger and thought she might approach him.
When he asked if he could take her groceries to her car she excitedly said, "Yes."
As they headed to the door sh...

I accidentally drank the water we used to color eggs for Easter.

I think I dyed a little inside.

When Louis Armstrong was a child, he was colorblind, a doctor asked him if he wanted to do this experimental surgery to allow him to see colors. After the procedure, they ask him what does he see, he tells them...

I see trees of green, and red roses too.

Me: Hey, how do you spell color?

British Friend: C-O-L-O-U-R

Me: How do you spell honor?

British Friend: H-O-N-O-U-R

Me: How do you spell neighbor?

British Friend: N-E-I-G-H-B-O-U-R

Me: Why do you keep adding an extra ‘u’ in these words?

British Friend: dQw4w9WgXcQ

Whats up with all this LGBTQ+ stuff?

Like I get there are more colors, but can't we just stick to **RGB**?

What do you call a rainbow without any colors?

A plainbow.

Credit to my 6 year old.

All of the heroes of Overwatch have natural hair colors...

Because heroes never dye.

I've just been told by my doctor that I'm color blind

It completely came out of the orange

If someone changes their hair color to or from red,

Does that make them transginger?

Wife Missing?

The first thing a grieving husband should do is CALL THE COPS!

Husband: "My wife of 15 years is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!"
Sheriff: "Height?"
Husband: "I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall."
Sheriff: "Weight?"
Husband: "Don't kn...

I saw a new color in a dream last night

It was a pigment of my imagination

What has an N, an I, two G's, an E, and an R and can be used to describe people of a certain color?

'Ginger'

Whats a fedora clad, neck bearded gentlemen's favorite color?

M'genta

I picked out a color of grey paint the other day, I guess the salesman didn't like it.

He just said "Oh, the hue manatee."

What was Helen Keller’s favorite color?

Corduroy.

It’s 1990, I told my idiot brother to take some money and buy a color TV

He came back home and asked “what color”

What's the difference between the color pink and the color purple?

Your grip!

Did you know that members of the KKK thought that being touched by a person of color would cause cysts?

They were called race cysts.

Oh so you’re buying a book on colors?

I red it already.

What color does your skin turn if you spill molten gold on it?

Au-burn

I just found out I'm colorblind.

The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.

Today I saw this absolutely stunning color that I've never seen before! It was indescribable, but when I blinked, it disappeared.

I guess it was just a pigment of my imagination.

My chameleon couldn’t change colors, so I took him to the vet…

Poor guy was diagnosed with ereptile dysfunction.

I had a vasectomy. Did you know that it actually doesn't prevent your wife from getting pregnant it just changes the color of the baby.

Or at least that's what my mailman said.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I was in the library the other day when a black man came up to me and asked me where the colored printers were?

I replied, "Dude, it's 2018, you can use whatever printer you want."

Purple is the best color for camouflage

Have you ever seen a soldier in violet ?

A color blind person is feeling down

He’s feeling a little purple

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Little steve had a school homework. He had to go home and ask a family member for an unusual color

He went home after school and went to his mum: “Mom, I need your help for school, can you tell me an unusual color please?”

To which his mother answers: “Let’s see... purple plum”

“Thanks mum I think that is good.”

The next day, steve gets to school and his classmates start sayi...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I don't care about skin color, race, sexual preference or social status.

I just hate everyone.

I was on acid and I actually tasted colors.

Tasted a lot like paint.

What do you call a color that committed murder?

Violet.

What do you call it when Reddit changes color?

Blueit

John started working in a color pigment company...

John started working in a color pigment company which specialises in mixing and editing different color pigments according to their customers's demands. Once the color pigments were done, they would be mailed out to the customers with a detailed note commenting on the properties of the produced colo...

I wanted to make a new color

So I combined red and yellow

But the result wasn't very

Oranginal

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Little Johnny's dad told his teacher that he has a nasty gambling habit...

and he says "Hey, Dad! I'll bet you $5 there's some dogs humping just around this corner!"
Dad considers how likely it would be, and says "You're on, kid!"
Once they get to the corner, they see the dogs going at it and Dad pays up.
So Dad calls Johnnys teacher. "Hey, my kid has this nasty g...

The teacher said to use the colors green, yellow, and pink in a sentence.

The 1st student goes.."i like the colors green, yellow and pink"

the 2nd student goes.."the grass is green, sun is yellow, and my shirt is pink"

the 3rd one, an asian, goes.."my phone went green green so i pinked it up and said 'yellow?'"

Favorite color

me: How are you

her: I'm fine

me: So what's your favorite colour?

her: Ohh please stop asking stupid
questions. Ask me something logical
and matured.

me: How many moles of Sodium
bicarbonate are needed to neutralise
0.8 ml of Sulphuric Acid at STP...

he...

Why does Trump not believe in the color spectrum?

It's all fake hues.