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Color Jokes

Today I thought of a color that doesn't exist...

but then I realized it was just a pigment of my imagination.

Why does Batman only wear dark colors? Easy. Batman doesn't want to get shot. Why does Robin only wear bright colors?

Easy.


Batman doesn't want to get shot.

What color is the wind?

Blew

A blonde colors her hair red and moves countryside

She meets a farmer and challenges him: "If I can guess your profession, I get your dog for free."
The farmer agrees.
The blonde declares that he is a farmer, and wins the bet.
As she's stuffing the animal into the trunk of her Fiat, the farmer says: "if I can guess your real hair color, ca...

My least favorite color is purple.

I hate it more than red and blue combined.

Sometimes when people are sad, I let them color in my tattoos.

Sometimes people just need a shoulder to crayon.

What weighs less than the color blue?

Light blue

I was recently diagnosed with color-blindness.

It came out of the green.

A husband buys a dozen panties of the same color for his wife.

His wife protests:"Why all the same color, people will think I dont change my panties."

Husband asks:"Which people?"

Whats a fedora clad, neck bearded gentlemen's favorite color?

M'genta

What's it called when a chameleon can't change its colors anymore?

A reptile dysfunction.

All of the heroes of Overwatch have natural hair colors...

Because heroes never dye.

What color does your skin turn when you pour molten gold onto it?

Au-burn




^He^^He^^^He^^^^He

Look, I'm all for coloring books...

but connect-the-dots? That's where I draw the line.

[Translated] A man saw a good deal and bought 20 panties of the same pattern and color to his wife.

Wife : Oh My God,now people will think I never change my panties.

Husband : Which people?

(Hope the joke didnt get lost in translation)

A black guy in a library asked me where the colored printers were.

I said, "Dude, it's 2021, you can use any printer you want."

I was just diagnosed with color blindness...

... it came completely out of the purple.

What was Helen Keller's favorite color?

Cordaroy

I was forced to swallow purple food color.

I feel violated.

My friend bioengineered a cannabis plant that grows large, colorful flowers.

I got to see it, and I must admit, it was pretty dope.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do Americans spell it as 'color' and not 'colour'?

Because fuck u that's why.

Why did Worf change his hair color?

It was a good day to dye.

Did you hear about the guy that tells everyone what the colors on the graph mean?

That guy’s a legend.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the stinkiest color?

Poople.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Jews, Moishe and Abram, are arguing.

Moishe: Black is a color

Abram: No it is not.

Moishe: I'm telling you, black is a color.

Abram: No, it's not.

They go to the rabbi.

Moishe: Rebbe, is black a color?

Rabbi: Yes, Moshe, black is indeed a color.

Moshe: See, Abram, I told you.

Abr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There is this African-American kid that goes to school and notices that the teachers treat the white kids better than the kids of color.

So he goes home and paints himself white and shows his dad. "Hey dad look im white!"

His dad kicks his ass, and says "Alright go show your mother."

The kid goes "Hey mom look im white!"

His mom beats the shit out of him then tells him to go show his grandma.

The kid aga...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date,

chances are... you have small boobs.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between this joke and a nudist soaked in food coloring?

One is nude in dye and the other died in new.

My black friend asked me where to find the color copier

I said it's 2015 and he can use whatever copier he wants to

I swallowed some food coloring yesterday

The doctor said I'd be fine, but I feel like I dyed a little inside

A Saudi Prince wants to buy a bull, so he goes to see a famous Russian bovine breeder.

The Russian tells him "I have many good animal. Here is Swedish bull, is born black color, but color turns white when grows.”

"Over there is American bull. Color when born is red, but become dark brown when full grown.”

"And here, Turkish bull. They is born dark brown, but grow up to b...

I can laugh in color

Hue hue hue hue

Why do we color eggs for Easter?

Because Jesus DYED for our sins.

Happy Easter!

Color vs Colour, Favorite vs Favourite, Neighbor vs Neighbour

British English: I think you're having problem understanding these words.
American English: no u

What do you call a person who studies the color blue?

A cyantologist.

How do you get red color from green color?

You put frog in mixer

What's the difference between grey and gray?

One is a color, and the other is a colour.

Honey, I just bought these special olympic style condoms!

Husband- "Honey, I just bought these special olympic style condoms!"

Wife- "Olympic style condoms, what makes them so speical?"

Husband- "They come in 3 colors, Gold, Silver and Bronze."

Wife- "Oo, sweet. What color are you gonna wear tonight?"

Husband- "Gold ofc!"
...

I wanted to tell you all about a color I made up.....

but, as it turns out, it was just a pigment of my imagination.

I wish orange was a common color option for android phones

Would make it easier to compare them to Apples.

What’s a cats favorite color?

Purrrple!


(Told by my 5yo niece.)

What color is a mirror?

It depends who you ask

I just got diagnosed with color blindness.

I gotta say this diagnosis came out of the orange.

I just found out that I’m color-blind.

This came right out of the purple.

What do you call colorful secret police?

The RGB

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom...

...until they are flashing behind you.

Last night I had a dream where I experienced a completely new color.

It was a pigment of my imagination

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Don't bet Johnny NSFW

NSFW

One day Johnny's dad goes to school and talks to his teacher and says don't bet with Johnny. His teacher is puzzled.

That same day Johnny shows up and says to his teacher I bet you 25 dollars I can guess what color underwear you are wearing. His teacher laughs and agrees.

...

What color is the letter M?

Pastel

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Jews were arguing whether or not white is a color

After arguing for a week they went for an advice to their rabbi
Rabbi looked into an old book and said yes, white is a color.
A week later same Jews were arguing for a week whether black is a color
Went to the same rabbi who said yes, black is also a color
See!!! says one of them, I d...

I was on acid and I actually tasted colors.

Tasted a lot like paint.

Breaking News Trump’s personal library just burned down

The fire consumed both books and he hasn’t even finished coloring the second one

What's the strongest color?

Super Cyan

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