If you rearrange all the letters of POSTMEN

You will get them VERY ANGRY

What contains the letters a,u, t, and s and is caused by vaccines?

adults

My wife found out I was cheating on her after she found all the letters I was hiding.

She was absolutely furious and said she’s never going to play scrabble with me ever again

Edit:
I’m aware it dosnt’ look right the way I wrote it ,but you get the gist

I was passing by my son's bedroom and was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then, I saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow, addressed to, 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, I opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands...

"Dear, Dad.

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.

I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I've been finding real passion with Stacy.

She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of al...

What is a pirate's least favorite letter?

Dear Sir/Ma'am,

We are cutting your internet connection due to the following reasons:

Illegal Downloading

Kim Jong Un sent Donald Trump a letter...

to let him know he was still open to denuclearization. Trump opened the letter and found a single-line coded message:

370HSSV - 0773H

Trump was confused, so he asked his aides to figure it out. The aides couldn't understand where the code came from, so they forwarded it to the FBI. ...

I’m close friends with 25 letters of the alphabet

I don’t know y

Teacher," Tell me a sentence that starts with an 'I'."

Student: I is the....

Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an 'I'. Always put 'am' after an 'I'.

Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

John was a boy who sent a letter to Santa Claus.

As soon as the letter arrived in the mail, the mailmen, as having no one to send the letter to, decided to open it. In said letter, John stated that he did not want gifts but $ 200 to buy medicine for his mother who was very sick.

He also said that he was poor, but hardworking, and that he h...

What’s a pirate’s favourite letter?

You’d think it’d be R, but ‘tis the C his heart truely belongs to.

A gentleman is preparing to board a plane, when he hears that the Pope is on the same flight.

“This is exciting,” thinks the gentleman. “Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person.”

Imagine his surprise when the Pope sits down in the seat next to him.

Shortly after take-off, the Pope begins a crossword puzzle. Almost immediately, the Pope turns to the gentleman and says, “Excuse...

The only difference between fit and fat is one letter

It's u

What has 4 letters, sometimes 9 letters, but never has 5 letters.

No questions asked!!

Why did karl marx always spell his name in lowercase letters?

Because he wanted to abolish all forms of capital

I quit my job as a postman the first day right after they handed me my first letter to deliver.

I looked at it and thought, “This isn’t for me.”

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An Australian Army Recruit sends home a letter . . .

Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin’ on the farm - tell them to get in quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don’t hafta get outta bed until 6am. Bu...

A husband came home to his wife in tears.

“I’ve been insulted,” she sobbed. “Your mother insulted me.”

“My mother!” he exclaimed. “But she lives in a different city.”

“I know, but a letter came for you this morning and I opened it.”

He looked stern, “I see, but where does the insult come in?”

“In the postscript,”...

Is there an “f” in lieutenant?

A major arrives at a remote post. “Where’s your lieutenant?” he asks a private.

“Sir, there isn’t a lieutenant assigned to this post.”

“I was told there was.”

“No, sir, no lieutenant here.”

“I’m pretty sure there is.”

The private thinks about it...

My therapist told me to write letters to all the people I hate and then burn them.

I don’t know what to do with all these letters now.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What's a Nazi's favorite letter?

I'm actually not quite sure, but it's definitely not 'z'.

Want to know who they named Canada? They pulled random letter out of a hat

“First letter is C, eh” “next is N, eh” “last letter is D, eh”

I never knew rap had 4 letters...

They should have kept the silent c on the front.

A boy had a speech impediment and is unable to articulate anything more than the letters of the alphabet.

He opens his wallet, only to sadly exclaim:

O I C U R M T

When I was a kid, I had a 26 card deck for each letter of the alphabet.

I managed to lose every one of them, except my V card.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Little Johnny was in class and the teacher said "today I am going to give you a letter and I want you to give me a word that begins with that letter."

So the teacher says "A" and Little Johnny immediately raises his hand but the teacher knows he will say asshole so she calls on Little Mary and she says "apple."

"Very good" the teacher replied. "Okay, how about the letter B"

Little Johnny once again immediately raises his hand and s...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Several thousand letters were just delivered to me

That's the last time I order a fucking dictionary from IKEA.

I got a letter from the NAACP

I wasn't surprised that it was blackmail

When people began using the alphabet, they only used 25 letters.

Nobody knew why.

Capital letters are the only thing between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse...

...and helping your uncle jack off a horse.

Today I received a few thousand letters

I'm never ordering a dictionary from IKEA again.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Dave wanted to send a letter to his girlfriend..

So he goes to the nearby market to buy an envelope. Just as he is about to enter the store, a man rushes out the market, furious,yelling and swearing. Dave didn't want to get in the mans way and just lets him pass. He enters the store and finds the cashier, a young lady, crying.

"Is everythi...

What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?

Short

What's a pirate's favorite letter?

Not, not "Argh." Too obvious.

Not the "C" either. Everyone has heard that one.

"Without a P he's irate hahahahaha!" Blah blah blah. Nope.

Give up?

A letter of marque. It makes his profession semi legitimate, provides for a legal way to store his wealth in his homeland, an...

What's a pirate's favorite letter?

Arrr?

Aye, it be the Sea...

What's long, hard and bendable and contains the letters p, e, n, i, s?

Your spine

What starts with "e," ends with "e," and contains one letter?

An envelope.

My therapist told me that a great way to let go of your anger is to write letters to people you hate and then burn them...

I did that and I feel much better but I'm wondering...do I keep the letters?

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations,

the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be d...

I got a letter from Ikea

When I opened it to see what it was about, I noticed it was in a different language. Unfortunately I just couldn't put it together.

An old man gets a letter from the IRS

Just kidding, the IRS is shut down right now.

I have this wierd irrational fear of two letter words.

I get extremely scared just thinking about it.

My kid just stacked some letter blocks like so:

F

F

U

T

S

S

I

H

T

You couldn't make this stuff up.

I got a rejection letter from Origami University today.

I’m not sure what to make of it.

Which 3 letters in the alphabet are the smelliest?

IBS.

Years ago, I decided I wanted to be a doctor

Years ago, I decided I wanted to be a doctor,
so I took the entrance exam to go to medical
school.

One of the many questions on human anatomy
asked was to rearrange the letters “PNEIS" into
the name of "an important human body part which
is most useful when erect."

Those...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read:

Dear God,

I am an 83-year-old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have noth...

People don't even pay attention

I bet you $13456324567 dollars you didn't read that number. You just skipped right over it. You didn't even realize I put a letter in it. No I didn't but you went back and looked.

Have a good day!!

E is the most commonly used letter.

I was shocked

Why was C afraid of every other letter in the alphabet?

Because all the other letters were not-C’s

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What did the letter O say to Q?

Dude, your dick is hanging out.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I badly broke my leg and whilst I was asleep in the hospital someone wrote “Fucking Idiot” in huge letters on my cast

Talk about adding insult to injury.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Kindergarten Teacher: Let's name a word that starts with each letter of the alphabet...

Teacher says, "Okay, let's start with letter A."
Little Johnny raises hand, teacher calls on him and he says "Ass, ass starts with the letter A." Teacher scolds Johnny and tells him it's inappropriate to talk like that in school.

Teacher then asks the class, "Who knows a word that starts ...

"Can you tell me what the second to last letter in the alphabet is?"

"Y"

"So I can make a stupid joke"

What do you get when you put Scrabble letters in a leaf blower?

The Welsh Language

Whats the word from which no matter how many letters you remove, it still remains the same?

Postman, ha gotcha

What do stalkers and the letter V have in common?

They're always behind U

Hnestly, I dn't like typing the 15th letter f the alphabet

I think it's a little o pressing

Why doesn't the Russian alphabet have upper case letters?

Because they're anti-capitalists.

What is a 4-letter word for a woman that ends with U-N-T

Aunt ... you sicko

Only 1 letter separates ‘champ’ from ‘chump’..

..and it’s U.

I got a letter that was just addressed to "You Idiot".

What bothers me is that the post office knew where to deliver it.

An Arab student studying in Germany wrote a letter to his dad

Dear Dad,

Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari 599GTB when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.

Your son, Nasser.

The next day, Nasser gets a reply to hi...

What color is the letter M?

Pastel

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

On Monday morning, the teacher walked to the blackboard and noticed someone had written the word "penis" in tiny letters.

She turned around, but couldn't find the guilty face. She quickly erased it and began her class.

Tuesday, she was again greeted with "penis" on the blackboard, written in larger letters. She looked around in vain for the culprit, and then proceeded with the day's lesson.

Every morning ...

I'm a fruit. If you take away my first letter, I'm a body part. If you take away my first and last letter, I suck. What am I?

pear

In class today, the kids were learning how to draw the letter P.

"Ok class, today I'm going to teach you how to draw the letter P."

*Teacher draws the letter P on the white board*

"Now you try."

*All the kids try to draw the letter P*

The teacher notices one kid in the back of the class shaking after drawing it.

"Very good class...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I'll never understand women, my wife said to me earlier: "Babe, I'm stuck on 6 across. 8 letters, fixed the highway?"

"Retarred." I replied.

Ungrateful bitch just threw the paper at me and stormed out.

Stanley the Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for his driver's license and the first thing they had him do was take an eyesight test. The optician showed him the chart with the letters, "C Z W I X N O S T A C Z."

"Can you read this?" asked the optician.

Excitedly, Stanley yelled, "Read it?! I know the guy!"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Joe received a package in the mail with a few stamps on the front. Always the notorious scrooge, Joe peeled off the already used stamps, and then proceeded to stick them onto his own letter.

Upon being handed the mail, the mailman knew exactly what Joe had done, and proceeded to punch him in the face until Joe was rendered unconscious. He was rushed to the ER and pronounced dead the next morning.

At his funeral, many tears were shed and eulogies given. As the ceremony was comi...

What's a pirate's least favorite letter?

Dear Blackbeard, you have won an all-expenses-paid 3 month Caribbean cruise! Please send your credit card information and social security number to enter a sweepstakes for the greatest treasure in the West Indies! Regards, Pedro de Alvarado, Spanish Empire Sales Representative

Times are tough and I wanted to make some easy extra cash for the holidays, so I took on a part time job as a postman. However, I quit on my first day, right after they handed me my first letter to deliver...

I looked at it and said, “This isn’t for me.”

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Did you hear about the 25 letters that hated Jews?

They were not z's.