I like 25 letters of the alphabet

But I love u

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Me: I'm terrified of random letters

Therapist: You are?

Me: *SCREAMS*

Therapist: Oh I see

Me: *SCREAMING INTENSIFIES*

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An Australian Army Recruit sends home a letter . . .

Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope you're are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin’ on the farm - tell them to get in quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don’t hafta get outta bed until 6am. B...

I was only taught 22 letters of the alphabet.

I don't know Y TBH

A guy was boarding a plane when he heard that the Pope was on the same flight. "This is exciting!" thought the gentleman. "I've always been a big fan of the Pope. Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person.” Suddenly, the man realized his seat was right next to the Pope himself!

Still, the gentleman was too shy to speak to His Holiness.

Shortly after take-off, the Pope took a crossword puzzle out of his carry on bag and began penciling in the answers.

"This is fantastic!" the gentleman mused. "I'm really good at crosswords!"

It crossed his mind that if ...

Why was E the only letter to recieve presents from Santa?

Because all the other ones were not E.

Your mom is so fat she starts the alphabet with the letter "O"...

O B C D...

A man had an adult daughter who he loved dearly but rarely met. He decided to send her a letter, and in it was hundreds of pieces of advice to help her succeed in life.

The advice ranged from career to cooking to basic mechanics; it was like a manual for life, and it took him a good while to rewrite, condense, and perfect.

When he went to the post office to send the letter, he met the mail deliverer Kurt. Kurt said he would deliver the letter.

The man...

A mailman notices a mailbox with the flag up

So, he opens the box and picks up the letter. He glances at it briefly to make sure it is stamped, and then puts it in his bag with his other letters. When he gets back to his office, the letter goes in a big bin with all of the other out-going mail. He thinks nothing of it, and finishes his day....

i don't agree with the usage of upper case letters

i'm an anti-capitalist

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Why is Z the only letter in the alphabet you should be friends with?

Because all other letters are Nazis.

What human body part is long, hard, bendable, most useful when erect, and contains the letters p,n,e,s,i?

Your spine

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An old Italian gentleman wanted to plant his annual tomato garden. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son:

"Dear Vincent, I am pretty sad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days. Love, Papa."...

Which word has 6 letters, starts with an N and ends with an R and is related to a Race

NASCAR

A blonde sees a letter lying on her doormat. It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ".

She spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.

In Laughter, the L comes first

The rest of the letters come aughter it.

My cousins are like the letter K.

They are ok by themselves, but get horribly racist when three of them get together.

What do you call it when you reprimand upper case letters?

CAPITAL PUNISHMENT

Why do communists prefer to use only lowercase letter?

Well, because they hate capitalism.

What's a pirates favorite letter?

Answer:

The c

“Wait a minute! You have been cheating on me all this time!”, my wife yelled at me as she found all the letters I had been hiding.

I felt cornered and prepared myself to face her fury, as she got red with anger and started walking towards me. She looked straight into my eyes and gave me a killer look I could never forget.



And kids, that’s the last time I played scrabble with her!

Why is the letter B so cool?

Because it sits right in the middle of AC!

A man walks into a resort and the first sign he saw reads, “LOOL AREA!!”

He was confused and asks one of the employees about it.

“Yes, we have this tradition here, we replace the first ‘P’ of any word that starts with P with an ‘L’ because the owner hates the words that starts with letter ‘P’."

The man thought this was strange, but as long as there were no ...

“Queue” sounds like “q” followed by 4 silent letters, but…

They’re just waiting their turn.

My wife found out I was cheating on her, after she found all the letters I was hiding.

She got so mad and said she is never playing Scrabble with me again!

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A convent of Catholic nuns receives a letter saying the Pope himself will be visiting in just a few days

They are all very excited and nervous. Mothers Mary, Agnes, and Isadore take it upon themselves to prepare the convent to receive His Holiness and plan a simple but delicious meal of fresh caught fish from the local lake with herbs and vegetables from their own garden.

Agnes goes to the loca...

What letter is used to spell "SS"

Not C

I got a letter in the mail this morning

“What was it?”

It was a

Applied for a job today and they asked for three letters of recommendation

So I replied "Easy! R, E and K!"

What did the letter say to the stamp?

Stick with me and we'll go places.

Not sure if this is a repost heard it from my son.

Yesterday I saw a guy drop all his scrabble letters on the road

I asked him what’s the word on the street

Is it possible to murder the letter R and hide its body so it's never found again?

Asking for a fiend.

Me: Doc, I am suddenly afraid of random letters

Doc: You Are?

Me: *screams*

Doc: Oh I See...

Me: *screaming intesifies*

I’m only familiar with 25 letters of the English alphabet.

I don’t know why.

A United States Marine was deployed to Afghanistan.

While he was there he received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend.

In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him.



To add injury to the insult, she said she wanted back the picture of herself that sh...

What's a pirate's favourite letter?

You'd think it'd be "R", but their first love is always the "C"

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My therapist said I should identify the people in my life that have hurt me, write letters to them explaining what they did and then burn them.

I feel so much better but I don't know what to do with all these letters.

I'm not sure if you knew this, but if you rearrange the letters in LGBT...

You'll probably offend someone.

What do witch doctors write their letters in?

Cursive

Saw a guy being beaten up by 4 dudes

I went to go help. He didn’t stand a chance against the 5 of us.

Aye matey, what be a pirates favorite letter?

-
-
-
Everyone thinks it be I, but a pirates TRUE love be the C!

Why was the Loch Ness monster so surprised when she got a love letter from her crush?

She thought he didn’t even know she existed!

My dyslexic dad got a letter in the post saying he's been dodging taxes.

After reading it he said: "But I never take a cab anywhere."

What is a pirates favourite letter?

Most pirates were illiterate and therefore had no preference.

I got a letter with my medical results today

The bad news is that i’m dyslexic, but the good news is that they found a big humor inside me.

If you rearrange all the letters of POSTMEN

You will get them VERY ANGRY

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Dear people who don't use capital letters.

We're the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse

A teacher asks her class what their favorite letter is.

A student puts up his hand and says 'G'.

The teacher walks over to him and says, "Why is that, Angus?"

I was passing by my son's bedroom and was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then, I saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow, addressed to, 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, I opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands...

"Dear, Dad.

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.

I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I've been finding real passion with Stacy.

She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of al...

i'm very good friends with 25 letters in the alphabet,

>!i don't know why!<

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Redneck Letter

Dearest Redneck Son,

I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last Arkansa...

Letter to the IRS

## Letter to the IRS – Oh, if only paying our federal income tax were actually this easy …

Attn: IRS

Enclosed is my current tax return & payment.

Please take note of the attached article from the USA Today newspaper. In the article, you will see the Pentagon is paying $171....

Think you know everything about the letter t?

That's just the half of it.

I got thousands of letters delivered to my house today

That's the last time I order a dictionary from Ikea

What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a 1000 letters?

Post office.

My wife found out I was cheating on her after she found all the letters I was hiding.

She was absolutely furious and said she’s never going to play scrabble with me ever again

Edit:
I’m aware it dosnt’ look right the way I wrote it ,but you get the gist

A blonde is doing a crossword puzzle...

"What's a 7-letter word for 'easily perceived or understood' that starts with 'O'?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"It should be, but I can't figure it out. That's why I'm asking."

I quit my job as a postman the first day when they handed me my first letter to deliver.

I looked at it and thought, “This isn’t for me.”

My dad said he'd disown me if I didn't know a twelve letter synonym for "obstructive".

That's unreasonable.

My son: What's a seven letter word for ending yourself?

Me: Suicide.

My son: No. Suicide's never the answer.

I thought of writing a letter to my Grandma to tell her that I’m quitting University to pursue a career in Magic

But and just couldn’t pick up the Penn and Teller.

Girl, are you a college acceptance letter?

Because I feel like you are about to reject me.

What long word only has one letter?

An Envelope!

A gentleman is preparing to board a plane, when he hears that the Pope is on the same flight.

“This is exciting,” thinks the gentleman. “Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person.”

Imagine his surprise when the Pope sits down in the seat next to him.

Shortly after take-off, the Pope begins a crossword puzzle. Almost immediately, the Pope turns to the gentleman and says, “Excuse...

What has 4 letters , sometimes has 9 letters, but never has 5 letters.

Just a hint: I didn't ask a question

What did the acceptance letter to pee school say?

Urine!

What 4 letter word for a certain special classification of women ends in UNT?

AUNT

Lost my job at the HR department for signing the complaints letters with my initials.

Apparently it's because my name is Tommy Lee Davis Richards.

What is a least favourite letter of a pirate?

Dear sir, we have record of your illegal downloading activity.

Doc I’m afraid of random letters

Doc: you are?

Me: *jumps out of seat

Doc: okay why?

Me: *opens door

Doc: you are a cutie. I envy you

Me: *dies of heart attack

What contains the letters a,u, t, and s and is caused by vaccines?

adults

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What did the letter O say to the letter Q.

Dude your dick is hanging out!

In the exam for a med school, students were asked to rearrange the letters, N E P I S to form a body part.

Those who formed SPINE are doctors now.

How many letters are there in "garbage"?

Only the ones you've sent me

What two letters spell candy?

C and Y!

Why did the communist spell his name without an upper-case letter?

Because he hated capitalism

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There is a boy who is always in trouble, he is constantly upsetting the other children and damaging the school property. Eventually, a letter is sent home to his parents...

...saying the school has put up with his bad behaviour long enough. This morning, they found him masturbating in class so they have expelled him. The letter continues: “I
suggest you talk to your son about his dirty little habit as soon as possible. Tell him he’ll go blind if he carries on.
Yo...

At Polish man has an appointment at the oculist

The doctor shows him a sign:.


WYRZYKOWTACZ.


Doctor: "Could you read those letters?"


Polish patient: "Letters? I know that guy!"

Is there an “f” in lieutenant?

A major arrives at a remote post. “Where’s your lieutenant?” he asks a private.

“Sir, there isn’t a lieutenant assigned to this post.”

“I was told there was.”

“No, sir, no lieutenant here.”

“I’m pretty sure there is.”

The private thinks about it...

Wanna see some small capital letters?

s a n m a r i n o

Using every letter in the alphabet in just one sentence makes things difficult, but to be fair...

quiz wax

What’s a pirate’s favourite letter?

You’d think it’d be R, but ‘tis the C his heart truely belongs to.

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[NSFW] Rearrange these words to make a letter 1. Pneis 2. Buttsxe

Did you get 1. Spine and 2. Subtext ?

At least I did not.

What is a pirate's least favorite letter?

Dear Sir/Ma'am,

We are cutting your internet connection due to the following reasons:

Illegal Downloading

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Missing letter

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old laws of the church by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head monk to question this, pointing out ...

A man is taking an eye exam, but is terrified of letters

During the eye exam, the doctor asks him to cover one eye and read out all the letters from top to bottom.

Man: I can't, I am terribly afraid of random letters.

Doctor: You are?

Man: [Screams]

Doctor: Oh, I see..

Man: [Screams louder]

Teacher," Tell me a sentence that starts with an 'I'."

Student: I is the....

Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an 'I'. Always put 'am' after an 'I'.

Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

What word gets shorter if you add two letters to it?

Short


What word gets shorter if you remove two letters from it?


Shorterer

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Six Letters of the Alphabet

Billy was a boy in kindergarten. At the end of the school day, the teacher gave the class a simple task.

“Ok class, I want you to go home tonight and learn the first six letters of the alphabet.”

So Billy left school determined to learn what the teacher had asked. When he got home, he ...

What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?

The one from his lawyer telling him all the illegal downloading charges have been dropped.

A number is visiting a letter's house, where the letter is cooking a pi in the oven.

The number says "Decimal of that pi is so delicious. I wanna taste it so bad!"

The letter said "Alphabet you do."

I identify as a aggressive letter

I guess I'm an alpha mail.

Why did the allied forces only like the last letter of the alphabet?

All the other letters were not-z

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