Next Door Jokes - 82 Hilarious Next Door Jokes

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My next door neighbour is an inconsiderate asshole. He knocked on my door at 3AM last night!! 3AM!!

Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums.

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My next door neighbor with massive boobs keeps walking around the backyard topless.

I wish his wife would do the same.

In my twenties, I lived in a houseboat and I started dating the girl next door.

Eventually….we drifted apart.

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The young couple next door to me recently made a sex tape

I mean they do not know it yet.

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My parents got mad at me for sleeping with the autistic girl next door.

I didn’t really want to, but they told me my first time should be with someone special.

Fucking hypocrites

I got a text from my next-door neighbor today.

I got a text from my next-door neighbor today.

It read:

Hi, Fred, this is Richard, next door. I’ve got a confession to make. I’ve been riddled with guilt for a few months, and I have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face.

At least I’m telling you in this te...

My next door neighbor is Bulimic and she was making so much noise last night, that I banged on the wall and shouted...

"For goodness sake, keep it down!"

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A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot

One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest
in all the activity going on next door and spend much of each day
observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew, all of them gems...

My next door neighbour just knocked on my door with her dinner in her hands.

With Facebook and Instagram down she wanted me to see what she was having

A girl tells her mom she’s dating the guy next door

The mom’s like “you can’t date him he could be your dad”

And the daughter is like “so there’s an age difference who cares”

“I think you misunderstood me”

My wife hates it when our next door neighbor sunbathes topless in her yard.

Personally I’m on the fence.

My next door neighbor banged on my door at 3:00 am last night.

Fortunately, I was wide awake, playing my bagpipes on the back porch at the time.

My next door neighbours are a nice Italian family. The Razzis.

One weird thing about them is the large number of pictures of celebrities hanging on their wall.

All thanks to the Dad.

Papa Razzi.

A woman who lived next door to a preacher was puzzled by his personality change in the pulpit.

At home he was shy, quiet and retiring but in the church he was a real fire and brimstone orator, rousing the masses in the name of God. It was as if he was two different people.
One day she asked him about the dramatic transformation that came over him when he preached.
"Ah," he said, "...

Today, the girl next door gave me her number and said I could call her any time.

I looked at her and said: "Well, that's a funny name."

Bill Cosby just moved in next door

He’s been on top of the house replacing broken shingles, and fixing leaks. Turns out he’s a very experienced roofer

The mobile shop next door has moved.

The stationery shop is still there, though.

The kid next door challenged me to a water fight.

I thought I'd post this while the water boils.

The widow next door just got married for the eighth time.

Every single wonderful husband has had the same first name. Can you guess what that name is?
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William. She's a Bill collector.

Mr. and Mrs. Keaton notice the young man staying next door always kisses his girlfriend every morning before heading to work.

"Why don't you do that?" Mrs.Keaton asks her husband.

"Darling, I don't even know the woman."

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A man lived next door to three nuns...

He noticed that early every morning the nuns would go out into their back garden to pick mushrooms.

First the small nun would come out with her basket. "One little mushroom, tra la la! Two little mushroom, tra la la! Three little mushroom, tra la la!"

Then the middle size nun would c...

The husband of the woman next door died.

The husband of the woman next door died. After the funeral, the widow shut herself inside the house for most of the day. The only time the widow would leave her home was at the crack of dawn, where she would stand outside and wail loudly in her yard until noon, before quickly retreating into her hom...

My next door neighbour has been in a few films

She'll be furious if she ever finds out

A woman is amazed by pastor who lives next door and how quickly he changes his personality.

Around the neighborhood, he is incredibly shy, quiet, and timid. As soon as he begins to preach, he becomes loud, boisterous, and is able to entertain the congregation with his sermons.

“I’m not sure how you go from one personality to the next,” the woman tells the pastor over coffee....

There's an old man who lives next door to me.

He wanted to get his grandson a gift for his birthday, but he couldn't remember the name.

He called me and asked me about the name of that toy that "always comes back to you".

Long story short, the boomer rang.

A young woman moves in next door to a married couple

One day, the wife looks out of the window and sees the woman hanging her laundry to dry and it's dirty. She says to her husband, "Why is her laundry so dirty? Does she not know how to do laundry properly? Maybe she has bad laundry detergent?"

The husband doesn't say a word. Time and time aga...

I gave the woman next door the Corona virus The husband was fuming, and I feel morally guilty

it goes against what I've been taught.

Thou shall no COVID the neighbors wife..

I live next door to a family of anorexic agoraphobics...

I bet you they have a few skeletons in the cupboard.

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My next door neighbour knocked my door.

Wearing just a see through negligee, asked to borrow a cup of sugar

and then winked at me and asked to come in for a coffee...

I said "Fuck off Dave. I've got work tomorrow.

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My dog disgraced himself by escaping and bringing home next doors rabbit.

It was very dead and covered in dirt but I couldn't see any wound so I thought I might just be able to get away without confessing. So I quickly washed and blow dried the deceased bunny, snuck round the fence and popped bun back in its hutch, all snuggled up looking in its straw so it looked just l...

My next door neighbour is really loud and obnoxious

So now I know how Canada feels.

I've been stealing garden ornaments from my next door neighbour...

Who shall remain Gnomeless

During lockdown my next door neighbours 4 year old started learning Spanish.

He still can’t say ‘Please’ though, which is poor for four.

Son told his dad he loves the girl next door

"Son, you can't love her. She's my secret daughter with another wife."

"But dad, what about the other girl next next door?"

"Sorry, son. She's also my secret daughter with the other wife."

Son walks away with tears in his eyes after knowing the truth. Mom heard it all and approa...

The kids next door challenged me to water fight in the front yard.

I'm just posting real quick while I wait for it to boil.

I’m upset that my doppelgänger moved in next door.

I’m beside myself about it.

Couple next door.

One evening a wife drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and said," Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? . He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?"."
I would love to". replied the husband,"but I don't know her well enough".

A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist.

The religious man prayed every single day and night, spending much time at church, while the atheist never even thought of such acts.
However, the atheist's had a good life. An excellent, well-paid job, and a beautiful wife, lovely, healthy, children, whereas the religious man's job was stres...

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A lady who is cheating on her husband

There's a lady who is cheating on her husband. One day while they are having sex she hears her husband pull into the driveway. Her boyfriend says "oh no! What should we do?!" She says "hurry! Get dressed and go to the living room!" Once they're in the living room she starts sprinkling baby powder al...

Bill Clinton dies and goes to hell

The devil awaits him. He says “Bill, don’t worry, it’s not as bad down here as they say. I let you pick your eternal punishment for yourself.”

“What are my options?” Bill asks.

So the devil shows him around.

Behind the first door is Ronald Reagan. He’s chained up, and getting w...

A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbors dog.

The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, “I’ve had enough of this,” and she goes downstairs. The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, “The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?” The blonde says, “I put the dog in our backyard, let’s see how THEY like it.”

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While having sex with my wife, the next door neighbour knocked on our front door.

You couldn't believe my surprise when I opened it.

TIFU by neglecting the fence between our marijuana farm and the cattle ranch next door.

We're struggling to salvage our crop for harvest this year, and the steaks have never been higher.

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(Old joke) A supermarket opened up next to a small grocer and to show how much cheaper they were put a big sign out the front advertising butter.

The grocer used to sell butter for 50p a packet, but the supermarket advertised it for 49p. The next day the grocer put a big sign on the front saying:

Butter: 48p

The supermarket couldn't afford to lose face so the next day it was loudly advertising:

BUTTER, ONLY 47p

How...

I spotted my ex at the bar next door

It was ex-siting

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My first sexual experience was when the parents of the girl next door caught us playing "Doctor".

They didn't actually see anything, it must have been the $30,000 bill I sent her that tipped them off.

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My next door neighbor was murdered.

Police found her facedown in a bath tub filled with milk. She had a spoon stuck in her ass.

They think it was a cereal killer.

They say that mafia members are nasty people, but...

but while growing up, I lived next door to one and he was actually a nice guy.

In fact, every morning, he paid me $20 just to start his car.

What do you call Bojack Horseman when he moves in next door?

Your neighbor.

For cake day, I wanted to share my grandpa’s favorite joke when I was growing up: “Wanna hear a dirty joke?”

-A man fell in a mud puddle.

Wanna hear a clean joke?
-The man took a bath with bubbles.

Wanna hear a dirtier joke?
-Bubbles was the woman next door.

Edit: thank you for my first silver and gold

Edit 2: I really only expected maybe 1 comment, lol. This really kinda...

Hi Alan – It’s John from next door. I need to talk to you about

something I am very ashamed of and know you will probably be quite angry about. The last 3 months we have been sharing your wife. Not every day, but at least 3 times a week and my girlfriend found out yesterday and is making me tell you. I didn’t want to tell you face to face so decide to message yo...

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I had a problem with my computer yesterday, so I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over.

Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"

He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fi...

I used to live next door to a talking horse

We were Neeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigghhhhbours

A young man tells his father he's going to ask out the girl next door.

A young man tells his father he's going to ask out the girl next door. His father looks grave and says "You can't. I've never told anyone this, but you need to know ... many years ago I had an affair with her mother, and, well..." Horrified, the young man runs out of the room where his mother as...

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My friend Billy had a ten foot willy, he showed it to the girl next door.

She thought it was a snake and hit it with a rake,

And now it's only 4 ft 4.

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I’ve just discovered that the kids next door stole my credit card to pay for their Mom’s boob job

Just wait till I get my hands on them!

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A little boy lived next door to a fire station...

He would watch in awe as the fire trucks left the station with sirens blazing. The kid decided he was going to become a fireman. So he grabbed his radio flyer and stuck a makeshift ladder on it. Then he found a piece of old garden hose. He was well on his way. He remembered his plastic fireman's ha...

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Apparently I'm going to hell because I infected the Donkey next door.

They said I must not COVID my neighbor's ass.

Grandma, I heard a vegan moved next door to you

Has it affected your life anyhow?

- Well, just to be clear, I want to let you know that I'm a grandma. But no, I don't think it has affected me. By the way, did I tell you I'm a grandma

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An 80-Years old man goes for a Penis Checkup...

After a brief evaluation of his penis the doctor says,

Doctor: Eveything looks fine, but for a complete analysis, we need your sperm(semen) sample too.

He gives him a small glass bottle.

Doctor: Bring this back tomorrow and then we'll proceed further.

Next day the old man...

I need to re-home a dog.

It's a small terrier, and tends to bark a lot. If you're interested, let me know and I'll jump over next door's fence and get it for you.

Three farm boys were looking for a wife, when a girl moved in next door....

She had hair like sunshine, a smile like a new morning, and was beautiful and perfect in every way - except for one flaw. She had one leg substantially shorter than the other, and she walked kind of tilted over because of it. The first boy came to call, and asked her to marry him. She said "If you c...

Someone stole my newspaper this morning, so I quickly sneaked next door and took my neighbours.

Now that I've calmed down, I think kidnap may have been excessive.

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The German Shepherd from next door keeps shitting on my lawn

This morning he even brought his dog!

When my next door neighbour started throwing chunks of chicken, lamb, beef & pork off his roof, I thought “Wow...

...a meatier shower”.

Husband and wife are shopping...

A Husband and Wife went shopping together just before Christmas. The wife quickly noticed that her husband was missing and because they had a lot to do she called him on his cell phone.
After the husband picked up the phone his wife said " Where are you, you know we have lots to do!"
He sa...

Me next door neighbour and I became good friends, so we decided to share our water supply.

We got a long well.

My neighbour across the street said he was born in Micronesia. My next door neighbour said he was born in Indonesia. I told them I was born in Amnesia.

My father forgot to wear a condom.

The lady next door came by and said,"Tom."

So I said,"yes"
She said,"I want you to take off my dress"
I said,"ok"
"Then I want you to take off my bra,"she continued.
"Yeah!"
"Then I want you to take off my panties and high heels"
"O.k."
"AND GIVE THEM BACK TO ME ME YOU PERVERTED,USELESS,THIEF!!!"

The Mexican guy next door was fired and kicked out of the house in the same day

You should've seen hispanic

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The hot girl from next door just came over and told me to stop stealing her clothes!

I almost shit her pants!

The girls next door gave me a Rolex for my birthday.

But I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch.

My next door neighbour hasn't done an honest day's work in her entire life.

She's a politician.

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The beautiful woman next door came around complaining about items going missing from her washing line and threatened to call the police...

I nearly crapped her pants!

My next door neighbour says I'm a bit of a looker.

Well, 'Peeping Tom' were the actual words she used.

"Pull the blind when you're having a shower," I told the woman who lived next door.

She must've heard me through the window because she shouted back.

But I still couldn't see her through the blind.

When house hunting I look for a place where the people next door are successful at selling stolen items

Good fences make for good neighbors

Some delivery guy knocked on my door today and said, "I have a parcel for your next door neighbour."

I replied, "You've got the wrong house then, haven't you?"

What do Horses Call People That Live Next Door to Them?

Their NEIGHbors!!!

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They say every 2 out of 3 people live next door to a pedophile

Not me, I live next to 2 smoking hot 8 year olds

My next door neighbour has just bought an Audi, a Toyota and 2 BMW's.

I think he's got car owner virus.

My next door neighbour keeps saying he's actually a big cat in a human suit.

To be honest I think he might be lion.

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