UPJOKE
dokeepobservebetterimprovefortunebestreplenishwaysuregoodmakingenoughcomeso

Make Good Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do retired Nazis make good animal doctors?

Because they're all Veteran Aryans.

Why do elephants make good employees?

Because they'll work for peanuts!

How many pilots does it take to make good music?

Apparently at least 22

Why don't cats make good burglars?

They can't get past the laser defenses

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"How to make good jokes on reddit to get karma"

Oh shit this isnt google

Why can't conservatives ever make good chili and barbeque?

Because they have to be liberal with their spices.

Why do amputees make good thieves?

Because no one's going to charge them with Armed Robbery.

Why do Scotsmen make good ghost hunters?

Because after they enter a house there’s nae spirits left

Why don't cowboys make good lovers?

Because they think a good ride is eight seconds.

Why don't Scuba Divers make good grades?

They are always below C level.

Why don't Twitter users make good soldiers?

Because they are quick to retweet

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do strippers make good racecar drivers?

Because they have good lap times

Why don't escaped convicts make good writers?

Because they never finish their sentences

Why do barbers make good drivers?

Why do barbers make good drivers?
Because they know all the short cuts!

Why do pimps make good gardeners

Because they are used to garden hose

I hear they make good jelly in Kentucky

KY jelly.

R would make good friends

You know, I feel like if letters were personified, R would be that guy who just makes a friend out of everyone. Because without R, everyone is just a fiend.

Why do volleyball players make good soldiers?

Because they know how to serve and kill.

Why Do Accountants Make Good Lovers?

They’re great with figures.

Why doesn't Switzerland make good cars?

You can only put them in neutral.

Why do Republicans make good DJs?

Because they know how to shut the House down.

Did you know fences make good neighbors

And bad neighbors make good fertilizer.

Why do skeletons make good consultants?

They’ve got no skin in the game, no guts and no balls.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why would proctologists make good astronauts?

Because they know their way around Uranus.

Why do trees make good missionaries?

They make people beleave in them.

Why do miners make good accomplices?

They don't snitch. They're good at mining their own business.

Why don’t suspenders make good singers?

Because they don’t know how to belt

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do Driving Instructors make good Physical Therapists?

Because they can teach fine motor skills

Why do stormtroopers make good drivers?

They won't ever hit anything.

Why do potatoes make good detectives?

They keep their eyes peeled...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Girls with houseplants make good girlfriends.

Because they’ve learned to care for something that sits around all day being fucking useless.

Many people told Beethoven that he wouldn't make good music because he was deaf

But did he listen?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If someone can make good matzo don’t mess with them.

They’re an expert at Jew dough.

Why do recovering addicts make good bankers?

They have a lot of experience with withdrawals

It's hard to make good Power Rangers jokes.

Most of the time, they feel Super Megaforced.

Why do lawyers make good Excorcists?

Because possession is 9/10th of the law.

Do you know why Turkeys make good warriors?

Because they ain't no chicken.

I only make good posts when I'm drunk...

Today I celebrate 5 years sober

Why do petri dishes make good conversationalists?

They're cultured.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

why do pedophiles make good employers?

they don't mind if you're a little behind.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.