Why do chickens make good dollar store employees?

Whenever you ask them the price they say "Buck buck buck buuuuuuck,"

Why don't cowboys make good lovers?

Because they think a good ride is eight seconds.

Why don't Twitter users make good soldiers?

Because they are quick to retweet

Why don't biblical creationists make good doctors?

Because they have no patience.

I hear they make good jelly in Kentucky

KY jelly.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"How to make good jokes on reddit to get karma"

Oh shit this isnt google

Many people told Beethoven that he wouldn't make good music because he was deaf

But did he listen?

Why do barbers make good drivers?

Why do barbers make good drivers?
Because they know all the short cuts!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do strippers make good racecar drivers?

Because they have good lap times

Why do pimps make good gardeners

Because they are used to garden hose

How many pilots does it take to make good music?

Apparently at least 22

Did you know fences make good neighbors

And bad neighbors make good fertilizer.

Why don't cats make good burglars?

They can't get past the laser defenses

Why Do Accountants Make Good Lovers?

They’re great with figures.

Why don't escaped convicts make good writers?

Because they never finish their sentences

R would make good friends

You know, I feel like if letters were personified, R would be that guy who just makes a friend out of everyone. Because without R, everyone is just a fiend.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do biologists make good pornstars?

Because sex cells.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If someone can make good matzo don’t mess with them.

They’re an expert at Jew dough.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why would proctologists make good astronauts?

Because they know their way around Uranus.

Why do skeletons make good consultants?

They’ve got no skin in the game, no guts and no balls.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do Nature Valley Granola Bars make good trail food?

Because they go fucking-everywhere! When you eat them.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do Driving Instructors make good Physical Therapists?

Because they can teach fine motor skills

Why don’t suspenders make good singers?

Because they don’t know how to belt

Why do miners make good accomplices?

They don't snitch. They're good at mining their own business.

Why do Republicans make good DJs?

Because they know how to shut the House down.

Why do mathematicians make good pirates?

They can always find x

Why doesn't Switzerland make good cars?

You can only put them in neutral.

It's hard to make good Power Rangers jokes.

Most of the time, they feel Super Megaforced.

Why do potatoes make good detectives?

They keep their eyes peeled...

Why do recovering addicts make good bankers?

They have a lot of experience with withdrawals

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Girls with houseplants make good girlfriends.

Because they’ve learned to care for something that sits around all day being fucking useless.

Why do stormtroopers make good drivers?

They won't ever hit anything.

Why do people look to Snoop Dogg and Seth Rogen to teach them how to make good blunts and joints?

Because they're good roll models.

Do you know why Turkeys make good warriors?

Because they ain't no chicken.

I only make good posts when I'm drunk...

Today I celebrate 5 years sober

Why do lawyers make good Excorcists?

Because possession is 9/10th of the law.

Why do vultures make good Brits?

Because they eat common carrion.

Why do petri dishes make good conversationalists?

They're cultured.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

why do pedophiles make good employers?

they don't mind if you're a little behind.

Why do nice guys make good lovers?

They always finish last.

A Muslim, a Hindu and a lawyer are travelling through the desert…

They’ve tried to make good time in their travels, but find that night will fall before they can make it to the next town. Luckily they find a farm nearby, and they ask the farmer if they can stay for the night. When he agrees, not wanting to impose too much, they set their sleeping rolls in his barn...

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