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Love Life Jokes

My love life is like a fairy tale

it's grim.

A haiku about my love life...

Hahahahaha

Hahahahahahaha

Hahahahaha

What do Einstein's equations and his love life have in common?

They both involve relatives.

My love life has been vacant for so long...

... it became a Spirit Halloween.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The secret to a good love life

### Is finding a woman who treats you like a king, one that helps you be a better person, one that you really connect with .

And most important: make sure these three women never, ever meet each other.

so a couple is arguing about their love life

Why do I have to be on the pill instead of you using a condom? What are you contributing with? The woman yelled. The man took a deep breath and simply answered, I drink so you don't need to wear a paperbag.

The Kentucky Derby is like my love life

You pay alot of money for something that doesn't last that long.

My love life is like a game of minesweeper

I ignore a bunch of red flags and it always blows up in my face.

My love life has become like my bank card..

Contact less.

Why is the frog’s love life struggling?

He‘s afraid of kermittment.

Whenever people ask me how my love life is going

I tell them I'm holding my own.

My wife said we should spice up our love life

“What do you mean?” I asked.

She said “let’s do a bit of role playing. I’ll be the doctor and you be the patient”.

“Alright...” I went with it, “How are you, doctor?”

“We have no appointments till November. Goodbye”.

A Lincolnian love life

An older man wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phoney beard sat

down at a bar and ordered a drink. As the bartender set it down, he asked,

"Going to a party?"

"Yeah," the man answered, "I'm supposed to come dressed as my love life."

"But you look like Abe Lin...

I never thought my love life would make me quit my job at the apiary.

Then I saw her face....

My love life is like Reddit meme formats

They either die in new or last only for a month.

A woman goes to the library and whispers to the librarian, "Where can I find a book about restarting your love life after having kids?"

The librarian points to an aisle and whispers back, "Non-Friction."

My love life is a lot like a protein bar

I'm typically the better option, but everyone chooses junk food instead of me

My love life is like dark matter....

It theoretically exists.

I finally found an app for my senior love life!!

It's called Carbon Dating <3

My kids love Life cereal. I told them there's a grown-up version called That's Just Life

Each box of it is expensive, mostly empty & doesn't taste very good.

My love life

I have found that invisible girlfriends are the way to go... Because then you know no one else is seeing her....

I've started to learn how to raise the dead to improve my love life,

I've become a neck romancer.

My love life is a lot like an old ruined calendar

I can't find a date.

My wife and I's love life got a whole lot more interesting ever since we got an e-reader.

You might say we've rekindled the fire.



(Just thought of it, probably terrible, and probably something someone's already thought of, but hey-ho.)

Friends sometimes ask me "How's your love life going?"

A bit personal but I don't mind, I can honestly say "I'm holding my own".

My love life is like my video game

I always play single player, and I can never find anyone who wants to play co-op

I remember the time when I was reminiscing my love life while cutting onion

The onion cried

I think i just wrote a joke out of my pathetic love life while fixing supper and here it goes. What does a bachelor eat the most?

Balonely sandwiches.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Women are discussing their life.

- My man is an architect. Our love life has form, vision and function, good plan as well.
- My man is an artist. Our love life has passion, imagination and improvisation.
- And my man is a programmer. He sits in bed and tells me how good it’s going to be when it’s ready.

What is the difference between God and my love life?

Some people think God is real.

I just realized my love life is a lot like a CapitalOne Card..

There's zero interest.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman is frustrated with her love life because her husband has a massive crush on Brigitte Bardot

and ignores her completely. To win back his attentions, she goes to a tattooist to have the letters 'BB' tattooed on her breasts. The tattooist warns her that age and gravity will probably make this unattractive and suggests she have the tattoo on her instead. She agrees, and bends over to rece...

If my love life was a movie it would be Demolition Man...

...starring Sylvester Still-alone.

What did the IT guy say to his wife after she complained about their love life?

" Did you try turning me off and on again?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two residents of an old folks home fall in love…..

June and Freddy. And they adore each other but they are too old and weak for . So the way they show affection is that each evening, June visits Freddy in his room, they sit side by side in their armchairs, and June just holds Freddy’s in her hand while they watch TV. That’s their love life ...
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