Love Life Jokes

it's grim.

Hahahahaha

Hahahahahahaha

Hahahahaha

They both involve relatives.

... it became a Spirit Halloween.

Why do I have to be on the pill instead of you using a condom? What are you contributing with? The woman yelled. The man took a deep breath and simply answered, I drink so you don't need to wear a paperbag.

One day the man came home with a box of flavored condoms. Later that evening they were in bed, and the woman went down under the covers. A moment later she popped her head back up.

"Yuck!" she said, "That one tastes like cheese!"

And the man said, "I didn't put it on yet."

You pay alot of money for something that doesn't last that long.

I ignore a bunch of red flags and it always blows up in my face.

Contact less.

He‘s afraid of kermittment.

I tell them I'm holding my own.

An older man wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phoney beard sat

down at a bar and ordered a drink. As the bartender set it down, he asked,

"Going to a party?"

"Yeah," the man answered, "I'm supposed to come dressed as my love life."

"But you look like Abe Lin... read more

“What do you mean?” I asked.

She said “let’s do a bit of role playing. I’ll be the doctor and you be the patient”.

“Alright...” I went with it, “How are you, doctor?”

“We have no appointments till November. Goodbye”.

Then I saw her face....

They either die in new or last only for a month.

The librarian points to an aisle and whispers back, "Non-Friction."

I'm typically the better option, but everyone chooses junk food instead of me

It theoretically exists.

It's called Carbon Dating <3

Each box of it is expensive, mostly empty & doesn't taste very good.

I have found that invisible girlfriends are the way to go... Because then you know no one else is seeing her....

I've become a neck romancer.

Pinocchio was fed up with the recent complaints from his wife. "Every time we make love, I get splinters." So, Pinocchio went back to his maker, Gipetto the Carpenter, for advice. "Sandpaper," said the carpenter, "that's what you need." So, Pinocchio took the sandpaper home. A few weeks later, the c... read more

I can't find a date.

You might say we've rekindled the fire.



(Just thought of it, probably terrible, and probably something someone's already thought of, but hey-ho.)

A bit personal but I don't mind, I can honestly say "I'm holding my own".

I always play single player, and I can never find anyone who wants to play co-op

The onion cried

Balonely sandwiches.

Some people think God is real.

There's zero interest.

...starring Sylvester Still-alone.

" Did you try turning me off and on again?"