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A boy ask his father "what's the difference between theory and reality?"

Well son go ask your mother if she would sleep with a stranger for 1 million dollars.
So the boy ask the mother "mom would you sleep with a stranger for 1 million dollars?" The mom says "well I guess I would son." The boy goes back to his dad and tells him what she said his father says "now go ...

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Today’s sad reality

Can we acknowledge the fact that somewhere out there is a boy masturbating to a picture of himself with the girl snapchat filter?

What is the difference between reality and fantasy?

In fantasy, if you're exposed to radiation, you become spider-man. In reality if your exposed to radiation, you get visited by spider-man

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It took a lot of balls for my friend to join the cast of a new Reality TV show called “Embarrassing Bodies.”

Four, to be exact.

“Dad” says son, “what’s the difference between theory and reality”?

“I’ll explain” says Dad. “MOTHER! Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks?”

“Yes I would” says mother, giggling.

“DAUGHTER! Would you sleep with Harry Styles for a million bucks?”

“Yes I would” she says, blushing.

“There you go son” says Dad. “Theoretically we ...

A lot of people think Michael Jackson's Pronouns were He/Him, but in reality,

Michael's preferred prounouns were He/He

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I named my dick "reality"

Because reality is often dissapointing.

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An American, a German, a Canadian, and a Jew are sent to a deserted island as part of a reality show.

They are told to bring one item each.

1. The American brings a smartphone

2. The German brings a book.
3. The Canadian brings a laptop
4. The Jew brings a blow up doll.

One year later, the Jew has a smartphone, a book, and a laptop.

Where do Egyptians go when they don't want to face reality

De-nile River

I just watched a reality show about flat earthers trying to find the edge of the world, and was a little disappointed.

The finale wasn’t a cliffhanger.

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A son ask his dad to explain the difference between reality and fiction.

Dad: It's complicated but let me try to explain. Honey, would you sleep with the neighbor for 100,000$?

Mom: Yes of course because I know we need the money.

Dad: Very good. Alright now Tasha, would you have sex with the neighbor's son for 200,000$?

Daughter: Yeah sure!

Da...

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Some people think sperm just magically travels to the penis when in reality there's a whole duct to transport them...

It might not seem like it, but there's a vas deferens between the two.

I thought of an idea for a new reality TV show...

It's about a group of Middle Easter Islamic terrorists that are entering their 40s. They stop buying an excessive amount of guns and explosives and instead start purchasing luxery cars and motorcycles. I call the show Midlife ISIS.

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The difference between theory and reality

A young boy approached his father and asked him if he could explain the difference between theory and reality. The father happily agreed to explain it in terms he would understand.

Father: “run up to your older sisters room and ask her if she would have sex with a stranger for a million doll...

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The difference between theory and reality

A boy asks his dad for help. He needs to know the difference between theoretically and realistically for his homework. So dad tells him to go ask the rest of the family members if they would sleep with Brad Pitt, for a million dollars. He asks his mom, and she answers, "Yea. He's so handsome. And we...

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So I've decided to take 2 of my loves and smash them together. The Beastie Boys and Virtual Reality...

You'll be able to experience some of the illest rhymes in VR!

And I'll call it Beastiality!!!

They say that invisibility will become a reality in 50 years...

I don't know about you, but I just can't see it happening.

What do odd numbers and reality TV stars in common?

They literally can't even

Someone once told that there’s little difference between the male and female reproductive systems. But in reality...

There’s a vas deferens.

What is the difference between Russia and reality?

Trump had connections with Russia.

Did you hear about the reality show based on 9/11?

No? I'm not surprised, the pilot crashed.

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Youngest Son: Dad,whats the difference between 'hypothetically' & 'reality'?

Dad turns to wife: Would you sleep with Tom
cruise for 1 million?
.
Wife: Of course! I would never waste such an
opportunity
.
Then Dad asks daughter: Would you sleep with
Tom cruise for 1 Million?
.
Daughter: Yes He's my fantasy
.
Dad asks elder son: Woul...

What does reality and an MMORPG have in common?

You never get invited to a party

TIL of a reality show where the goal is to do as much drugs as possible without dying or getting caught.

It's called the Tour de France.

Reality Check

A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady swigging her gin as she sits alone at a nearby table.

“Do you know her?” the wife asks.

“Yes,” the husband says. “She’s my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorc...

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Theory vs. Reality

A boy is watching TV with his father when someone on the show mentions "theory and reality".

The boy asks his father, "Dad what's the difference between theory and reality?"

The father thinks to himself for a moment and says, "Thats a great question son! The best way I could explain i...

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Apple is releasing a new Virtual-reality headset specifically for VR porn.

They are calling it:The iFap

Normally I hate those trashy, fake, rigged reality TV shows...

But I might watch the presidential debate tonight anyway.

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The difference between reality and theory

A boy comes home from school one day very upset about a project that was assigned to him. His father noticing this asks:

Father: what's wrong son?

Son: I have this stupid project due tomorrow where I must explain to the class the difference between reality and theory.

Father: w...

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A son comes home from school and is somewhat frustrated . His Dad asks him what’s wrong. He informs Dad that he’s struggling with the concept of “Theory vs Reality”

“I think I can help you son- Go ask your Mother if she would sleep with the mailman for a Million Dollars”
Somewhat confused, the young man finds his Mom and asks her. After pondering the question for a moment she says “Well it is a lot of money. I don’t think I could turn it down”
So he retur...

I hate reality checks

Cause I can't cash them

Reality

“You know how it is in life. One door closes – that means another door opens…”

“Yeah, very nice, but you either fix that or I’m expecting a serious discount on that car !!!!

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What's the difference between potential and reality?

One night at dinner a son asks his father "What's the difference between potential and reality?"

His father says let me show you. He turns to his wife and asks "Honey, if The Rock offered you $1 million to sleep with him, would you?"

She says "Of course I would!"

The father the...

Whenever I get into a joke war, I make a pun about reality TV stars

It’s my Trump card

What tea is the hardest to swallow?

Reality.

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Theory and Reality

Little Johnny's teacher gives him a homework assignment to go home and find out the difference between theory and reality. Johnny goes home and asks his dad what the difference is.

Dad: I want you to ask your sister and mother if they'd sleep with Brad Pitt for one million dollars. Come back ...

If satire is truth, then jokes are reality.

Oops, there goes gravity!

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Son asks his dad what’s the difference between dream and reality ??

Dad: hmmm good question son, to answer that, I’ll have to show you practically. Come with me

So dad takes son and goes to his wife asking

Dad: if someone offers you 1 million dollars for a one night would you agree ?

Wife: of course, it’s only one night and a million dollar can...

A Gamers perspective of Reality.

Great graphics, terrible gameplay.

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If a cable news pundit, a reality TV personality, a political spin doctor, and a serial entrepreneur are all locked in a room together, who would be the first to realize they're of shit?

The room.

I hate it when people confuse reality with metaphors...

It makes my head literally explode!

If you put your mind to it you can make any dream a reality.

And that, officers, is why I am in this classroom naked.

Whats the name of that old reality show where they go fishing and catch a bunch of crabs?

Oh, right.

Jersey Shore...I miss that show.

I really want my own reality show on TLC.

Did I mention that I am a morbidly obese little person with 18 children and I just escaped from Scientology!

Reality!

11:30- I will go to bed soon.

03:30- Why am i on wikipedia reading about advanced nuclear theory.

A communist Jew, an old hag who tries to be hip, a manic reality tv star, a bible thumper, a robot and an old man from Ohio who forgot to take his meds walk into a bar....

Pick one to be your next president

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Potential vs Reality

Little Johnny has to write a paper on the difference between potential and reality for school. He is up in his room all day writing and then crumbling up the papers. He gets the idea to go ask his dad.

"Dad, I have to write a paper on the difference between potential and reality and I can't...

What is Hitler's favorite reality show?

The Amazing Race

Who is reality good for?

People that can't handle drugs

I like my women like I like my reality shows....

Naked and afraid.

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Virtuality vs Reality.

Teenage son comes to his father and asks:

Dad, I heard words on TV like ''virtuality'' and "reality'' and I don't know what do they mean?
Explain to me please.

Father: Well, son let me show you.

Father calls his wife and asks:

Look woman, situation like this - Family ...

I call my wife Bambi. She thinks it's because she's cute with big brown eyes...

But in reality it's because I want someone to shoot her mother with a hunting rifle

Got a reality check today

It bounced.

BMW

A man in his mid forties bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to see what the engine had.

As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue li...

If you need a distraction from the election there is a new American reality TV series starting soon.

It's called The White House. Apparently the lead actor has been given a 4 season contract.

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Did you hear they had to shutdown Japan's first virtual reality porn exhibition?

Too many people came.

I saw Thanos hallucinating

He needs to snap back from reality