This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They say curiosity killed the cat... But in reality it just grabbed your attention

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange ...

I came to the realization that my 5 year old was watching too much reality TV when we attended a wedding

As the four bridesmaids walked down the aisle to the altar, he asked, "Is this where the groom picks the one he wants to marry?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I call my dick reality

It’s often disappointing

Augmented reality portal?

In my time we called that a church.

What the difference between Russia and reality?

Trump had connections with Russia!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It took a lot of balls for my friend to go on the reality TV show “Embarrassing Bodies.”

Three actually.

A lot of people think Michael Jackson's Pronouns were He/Him, but in reality,

Michael's preferred prounouns were He/He

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An American, a German, a Canadian, and a Jew are sent to a deserted island as part of a reality show.

They are told to bring one item each.

1. The American brings a smartphone

2. The German brings a book.
3. The Canadian brings a laptop
4. The Jew brings a blow up doll.

One year later, the Jew has a smartphone, a book, and a laptop.

“Dad” says son, “what’s the difference between theory and reality”?

“I’ll explain” says Dad. “MOTHER! Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks?”

“Yes I would” says mother, giggling.

“DAUGHTER! Would you sleep with Harry Styles for a million bucks?”

“Yes I would” she says, blushing.

“There you go son” says Dad. “Theoretically we ...

Where do Egyptians go when they don't want to face reality

De-nile River

What is the difference between reality and fantasy?

In fantasy, if you're exposed to radiation, you become spider-man. In reality if your exposed to radiation, you get visited by spider-man

I just watched a reality show about flat earthers trying to find the edge of the world, and was a little disappointed.

The finale wasn’t a cliffhanger.

They say that invisibility will become a reality in 50 years...

I don't know about you, but I just can't see it happening.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I've decided to take 2 of my loves and smash them together. The Beastie Boys and Virtual Reality...

You'll be able to experience some of the illest rhymes in VR!

And I'll call it Beastiality!!!

Someone once told that there’s little difference between the male and female reproductive systems. But in reality...

There’s a vas deferens.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some people think sperm just magically travels to the penis when in reality there's a whole duct to transport them...

It might not seem like it, but there's a vas deferens between the two.

I thought of an idea for a new reality TV show...

It's about a group of Middle Easter Islamic terrorists that are entering their 40s. They stop buying an excessive amount of guns and explosives and instead start purchasing luxery cars and motorcycles. I call the show Midlife ISIS.

What do odd numbers and reality TV stars in common?

They literally can't even

Did you hear about the reality show based on 9/11?

No? I'm not surprised, the pilot crashed.

TIL of a reality show where the goal is to do as much drugs as possible without dying or getting caught.

It's called the Tour de France.

Reality Check

A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady swigging her gin as she sits alone at a nearby table.

“Do you know her?” the wife asks.

“Yes,” the husband says. “She’s my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorc...

What does reality and an MMORPG have in common?

You never get invited to a party

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Diffrence between potential and reality

An 8 years old son asks his dad:
"Whats
the difference between 'Potential ' and 'reality?'

Dad turns to wife: "Would you sleep with
Barack Obama for $1 million?"

Wife: "Of course, I will never waste that opportunity."

Dad turns to daughter: "Would you sleep with B...

Normally I hate those trashy, fake, rigged reality TV shows...

But I might watch the presidential debate tonight anyway.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Apple is releasing a new Virtual-reality headset specifically for VR porn.

They are calling it:The iFap

Reality

“You know how it is in life. One door closes – that means another door opens…”

“Yeah, very nice, but you either fix that or I’m expecting a serious discount on that car !!!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Doctor Dave had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long.

No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn’t. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while, he’d hear an internal, reassuring voice that said, “Dave, don’t worry about it. You’re not the first doctor to sleep with one of their patients and you won’t be t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between potential and reality?

One night at dinner a son asks his father "What's the difference between potential and reality?"

His father says let me show you. He turns to his wife and asks "Honey, if The Rock offered you $1 million to sleep with him, would you?"

She says "Of course I would!"

The father the...

Whenever I get into a joke war, I make a pun about reality TV stars

It’s my Trump card

What tea is the hardest to swallow?

Reality.

A Gamers perspective of Reality.

Great graphics, terrible gameplay.

Whats the name of that old reality show where they go fishing and catch a bunch of crabs?

Oh, right.

Jersey Shore...I miss that show.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If a cable news pundit, a reality TV personality, a political spin doctor, and a serial entrepreneur are all locked in a room together, who would be the first to realize they're of shit?

The room.

I hate it when people confuse reality with metaphors...

It makes my head literally explode!

If you put your mind to it you can make any dream a reality.

And that, officers, is why I am in this classroom naked.

A communist Jew, an old hag who tries to be hip, a manic reality tv star, a bible thumper, a robot and an old man from Ohio who forgot to take his meds walk into a bar....

Pick one to be your next president

Reality!

11:30- I will go to bed soon.

03:30- Why am i on wikipedia reading about advanced nuclear theory.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is Hitler's favorite reality show?

The Amazing Race

I really want my own reality show on TLC.

Did I mention that I am a morbidly obese little person with 18 children and I just escaped from Scientology!

A billionaire gets an idea to build a bridge from Los Angeles to Hawaii

He approaches a civil engineer to design this massive bridge for him.

The engineer tells him, “Look, this isn’t a matter of money, it simply can’t be done. The Pacific Ocean is too deep, no concrete beam could support the pressure of the depths, let alone the thousands that would be needed to...

I call my wife Bambi. She thinks it's because she's cute with big brown eyes.

But in reality it's because I want someone to shoot her mother with a hunting rifle.

Who is reality good for?

People that can't handle drugs

Got a reality check today

It bounced.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.