My wife and I are making some artwork in the name of our favourite Bon Jovi song. So far we have the words "Livin' on".

We're half way there.

Just saw a French band perform Livin' On A Prayer.

I think it was Bonjour-vi.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

THINGS I LEARNED LIVIN' IN LOUISIANA Enjoy!

1) A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

2) There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Louisiana .

3) There are 10,000 types of spiders, and all 10,000 of them live in Louisiana .

4) If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite ...

Motel Coronavirus

Motel Coronavirus



On a dim dreary morning

Ceiling fan stirs the air

Stale beer and Doritos

Littered next to my chair

Just outside of my window

Saw a glimmer of light

My eyes were bloodshot and my head pounding

I hadn't slept all last ni...

A man is being interviewed for a job (Long)

-What do you drive right now sir?

-An old food truck

-Well, if you are hired here you'll be driving a brand new BMW; Now, where do you live?

-In an old house in a dangerouse part of the city

-Well, if you are hired here, you would be livin in a three story mansion in the ...

A guy is driving down the road when he spots a gypsy caravan with a sign outside saying, "readings £10"

Thinking, "this could be a laugh", he pulls over and enters the caravan.

The gypsy immediately grabs his hands, looks at them for a couple of seconds and stares into his eyes.

She says, "sweet child o' mine, livin' on a prayer ,stairway to heaven, don't dream it's over."

"wow"...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joke best told with an accent

I've found that this joke is best told with a Cockney or Australian accent.

So Jim an' Marty are sitting in Marty's livin' room, when Marty exclaims, "Oy, it's feckin' cold round ere. Jim, could you be pal, run upstairs, and fetch me slippers". Jim's says, "yeh, ol' right." and walks upstairs...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A mother of 3 boys, ages 4, 6,7, goes to see a Doctor.

She explains that the boys have developed a bad habit of cursing quite a bit. And asks for advice on ways to stop them. He asks her," ma'am I've known these boys awhile and I've wandered if u have ever even spanked them?! They are the most unruly children i have ever known." The mother says," oh my ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Billy-Bob is passing by Clyde's hay shed one day....

....when, through a gap in the door, he sees Clyde doing a slow and deliberate striptease in front of an old red Massey Ferguson.


Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette and gently slides off first the right suspender of his weathered Oshkosh denim overalls, followed by the left.<...

Ricky Martin's endorsing a new diet

Livin La Vida Locarb

My friend is a professional sleep-walker.

He's just livin the dream.

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