Have The Best Jokes - 29 Hilarious Have The Best Jokes

Why does China have the best baseball team?

Because they took out the whole world with one bat

I prayed to god to have the best chess skills in the world

Checkmate atheists

I have the best doctor

Everytime I get my prostate checked he puts both hands on my shoulders to comfort me.

I have the best six pack out there

2 x Salt and Vinegar
2 x Ready Salted
2 x Cheese and Onion

Why does spiderman always have the best comebacks?

With great power comes great response ability!

Why does Finland have the best runner's in the world?

Because they Finnish first

Four dads are arguing, each dad claims to have the best son in the world.

The first dad says, "My son is the best because he is so rich, I only gave him a small loan of a million dollars and he ended up making four billion dollars from his multi-billion dollar hotel business. He has even appeared on many TV shows. He is so successful that he was elected to lead a country....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I have the best way to deal with my gf

When she starts bitching about shit, I just take my schizophrenia meds and she straight up leaves me alone for a full day

Why does Santa have the best job in the world?

He knows where all the naughty girls live

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend says on a camping ground you'll have the best sex.

I tent to agree.

A man walks into a hunting store and asks if they have the best camouflage clothing.

The store owner goes looking for it for several minutes but finally comes back to the man and says :
"Sorry, but I just couldn't find them"
The man then leaves the store satisfied.

I have the best debts in the world!

Every single one of them is Outstanding!

Why does Yoda have the best seat on the Jedi Council?

He gets a seat next to a Windu.

Why does America have the best movie industry in the world?

In the rest of the world, all the best actors play soccer.

Canada could have the best of 3 nations it is influenced by: French cuisine, British culture and American technology!

Instead, Canada got British cuisine, American culture and French technology.

Did you know communist countries have the best bakers in the world?

People will line up for miles just to get a slice of their bread.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do trombone players have the best sex

They always get two holes in seven positions

I may be biased, but I think blind people have the best observational humor.

I guess I’m just a big fan of dark comedy.

In Germany we have the best street: The Autobahn

No speed limit there.

And we have the best club: Berghain.

Also no speed limit there.

What kind of tree would have the best bark?

Dogwood.

Don't you dare judge me, it was on my popsicle stick. :P

Why do astronauts always have the best opinions?

Because they always have the greatest perspective

I used to have the best pick up line. I'd get an escort right to their bedroom most of the time. And after spending a few hours in their bedroom with them, they would even pay me for doing such an amazing job.

I miss telling people "I can fix your computer."

Where do they have the best fruits and vegetables?

A 1950's psych ward

Why did the Avengers have the best float at the parade?

They had a gigantic Banner!

Joke my Grandpa told me. Pastors have the best jokes.

A blind man walks in to a store with his dog. He walks to the center of the store and starts to swing his dog around by the leash.

The store owner tries to stop the man "what do you think you are doing?"

The blindman replies "Just taking a look around."

Why do golfers have the best chauffeurs?

Because they're good at picking their drivers.

I have the best proctologist.

He's able to massage my shoulders and check my prostate at the same time.

The Chinese have the best Democracy in the World

They have tiny elections every few hours.
;) if you know what I mean

How do you make sure you have the best space party for your kid?

You planet early.

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