UPJOKE
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What starts with “f” and ends with “k”?

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her more precocious students. The teacher asked, “Harry, what exactly is your problem?”
Harry answered, “I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she! I think I should be in the 3rd gra...

I don’t judge the past of my Garth Brooks loving cannibal girlfriend

But what she’s doing now is tearing me apart

Brooks Brothers just filed for bankruptcy

so now I might never be able to use this $50 gift card on one sock.

A restaurant owner wouldn't serve Mel Brooks, Whoopi Goldberg, or Andrew Lloyd Webber.

I never expected to see such EGOT-ism in this day and age.

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Mel Brooks is tired of all the letters from Arnold Schwarzenegger begging for a new space balls movie.

In a public statement he said he is the worst schwartz a nagger of them all.

You couldn't make Blazing Saddles today

Because if you did, people would say, "Hey, Mel Brooks already made this movie in 1974."

A reporter interviews a 2000-year-old man

Reporter: “is it true you had over nine hundred wives in your life?”

2000 y/o Man: “Indeed”

Reporter: “out of all your wives, which one was your favorite?”

2000 y/o Man: “Hmmm… Shirley. Definitely Shirley.”

Reporter: “And what made Shirley so special?”

2000 y/o Man...

Who's the Death Star's greatest country singer?

Darth Brooks.

Who wears a cowboy hat, black leather jacket with studs, cowboy boots, a big silver belt buckle, and black lipstick?

Goth Brooks

What has 132 legs and 8 teeth?

The front row of a garth brooks concert.

If Goofy was a country singer, what would his name be?

Gawrsh Brooks

A jewish guy gets knocked over by a car...

A passer by runs over to check on him. He bundles up his coat into a pillow and places it under his head "Are you comfortable?" the stranger asks. He replies "Ach, I make a living."

Credit: Mel Brooks

Some say my wife looks like Mel B.

Unfortunately, the B stands for Brooks.

A rich old man died

His widow arrived at the funeral home to meet with the mortician. “Fortunately he was dressed in this fine black suit when he passed, perfect for his burial “ he said. “Yes” replied the widow “he does look good, but I’ve alway thought he looked best in blue”. From her purse she pulled a blank check ...

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Borrowed the Car

After shopping for most of the day, a couple returns to find their car has been stolen. They go to the police station to make a full report. Then, a detective drives them back to the parking lot to see if any evidence can be found at the scene of the crime. To their amazement, the car has been retur...

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Shut Up

A young bluebird was flying from tree to tree in the brisk autumn air when he heard his parents call. Upon arriving back to the nest they tell the young avian to prepare for the trip south.

The little bluebird stubbornly inquires why, to which papa bluebird replies with details of heavy and c...

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