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Patterson Jokes

The best dog joke ever - credit to Sir Les Patterson

Woman takes her dog to the vet because it's having hearing problems.

The vet says "Its because it has so much hair in it's ears. Once a month, get some Nair and spread it in it's ears, it'll keep the hair growth down."

Sure enough the woman goes to the pharmacy to get some Nair, and w...

I was born Mary Patterson...

but then I married and, naturally, I took my husbands name. So now I'm Neil Patterson.

From "A Bit of Fry and Laurie"

How many James Pattersons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Only one, but he'll just hire a ghostwriter to do it for him.

What's the difference between medium and rare?

6 inches is medium, but 8 is rare.

Source: The Jester by James Patterson

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