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What's it called when Herschel Walker has diarrhea?

A Georgia runoff.

Reporter: Herschel Walker, what do you think of the latest abortion bill?

Herschel Walker: I think we should pay it.

Herschel Walker made a speech in front of his GOP peers a day after the debate..

"They said I can't speak good on stage without a prompter" he said.

"But whose laughing now question mark Ha comma ha comma ha"

Did you hear that Herschel Walker tried to run over some kids and was arrested attempted vehicular manslaughter

In fairness, there was a sign "Drive like your kids live here".

Why did Paul Walker cross the road?

Because he wasn’t wearing a seat belt.

Did you know that Paul Walker had dandruff?

I didn’t know either, until I saw his Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.

I can see why Paul Walker jokes aren't funny anymore.

Poor guy can't catch a "brake".









(P.S. Happy Birthday Paul Walker. I wish u were still here)

what's the difference between queen Elizabeth and Paul walker

Paul walker made it to 100 before he died.

Two old guys are having a chat in a nursing home, when a naked old woman with a walker crosses very slowly in front of them

First guy says, "Elmer - what the hell was that?"

Second guy says, "Joe - I have no idea, but it certainly needed ironing!"

When a group gather to make fun of the Walker Texas Ranger...

...It's a Chuck Roast

I added Paul Walker as a friend on Xbox

…but he spends all his time on the dashboard.

I should really think about becoming a tightrope walker

Even the bank says my balance is outstanding!

Two friends are walking their dogs together.

Two friends are walking their dogs together. One has a big black lab, while the other has a minuscule chihuahua. They pass a bar and the lab owner says, "Let's get a beer."

The chihuahua walker complains, "That would be great, but we can't take our dogs in there."

The first responds, ...

Chuck Norris

Recently, a theater in Texas held a 3D showing of Walker: Texas Ranger.

There were no survivors

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What does a tightrope walker have in common with a 30 year old man getting a blowjob from an 80 year old woman?

Neither one of them wants to look down.

Accountant Joke

The CEO of a large corporation called his directors for a meeting. He asked the director of development, "Mr. Jones, what is two plus two?"

Mr. Jones, looking a bit confused, replied, "Two plus two is four, Sir."

The CEO said, "Ya, that\`s what I thought you would say." Then he asked...

What's scarier than a skin-walker?

4 skin-walker

Did you hear about the street walker in Venice?

She drowned.

Wife wants to see the circus

A man and his wife are sitting down to dinner.

“Yakov's Moscow Circus is coming to town this week,” she said. “The poster says they have a dancing bear. I always wanted to see one of those.”

“Maybe next year,” says the man. “Work’s really busy this week.”

The next night at dinne...

A family of country bumpkins visit the big city for the first time.

A family of farmers--Ma, Pa, and their son Jim--take a trip to the city and walk into a shopping mall for the first time. They gape in awe at all the shiny surfaces and gleaming store windows full of fancy objects. Before long, the boys wander off and leave Ma ogling a kiosk of crystal jewelry.
<...

Three old farts talking

Three very elderly men are discussing their medical woes.

The 70-year-old says,

\- “I have an awful time with my bladder. I have to go all the time, and sometimes it comes on pretty suddenly."

The 80-year-old says,

\- “It’s my bowels. Hardly any control at all. Always h...

Have you heard of Alan Walker’s criminal brother?

Jay Walker

An 18 y/o boy getting a BJ from and 80 y/o woman and a tightrope walker have the same thought...What is it?

Don't look down!


My Dad broke this one out this morning thought I would share.

Did you hear about Paul Walker on the radio?

And the dashboard and pretty much the rest of the interior

I hope Rand Paul doesn't pick Scott Walker as his VP

I have a feeling Paul/Walker would crash and burn.

Why did the tiger eat the tightrope walker?

It wanted a balanced diet.

What do both Paul Walker and Vin Diesel have in common?

Both of their last big hits were trees

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What is a high wire walker, and a guy getting a blow job from a 100 year old woman both thinking?

Whatever you do, don't look down.

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A toothbrush salesman had a booth on a street corner.

One day he was approached by a man looking for a job. The salesman, skeptical of this random person’s sales ability, agreed that if the man could sell 100 toothbrushes in a day, that he could have the job.

At the end of the day the man approached him saying “I’ve sold all 100 toothbrush, can ...

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Unfortunately due to unforseen circumstances Johnny Walker could not be with us tonight....

But, he's with us in spirit.

Jim walked into a bar....

Jim, walked into a bar and aggressively shouted his order to the bartender

”Please give me a plate of chicken wings and then give everyone half a kilo steak and mutton, cause when I eat,
I want everyone to eat!”

The bartender complies, by giving Jim a plate of chicken wings and eve...

Have I ever told you my Dad was a stilt walker?

I really looked up to him.

I've decided to become a tightrope walker!

I figured I should give it a try since all my credit card companies say my balance is outstanding!

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A guy gets put in a nursing home by his son. He doesn’t know if he’s going to like it at first, but he decides to give it a shot for his son’s sake.

The first morning in the nursing home he wakes up with a hard on. Out of nowhere a beautiful nurse's aide walks in, bends over & blows him without saying a word.
The guy gets on the phone with his son and says, "Son, I love this place! Thank you so much for putting me in this nursing home....

Tightrope walkers do really dangerous things.

They put their lives on the line!

In honor of Paul Walkers birthday I plan on having a Paul Walker shot

It’s an Irish car bomb followed by a shot of fireball.

The Fast and the Furious 10 title should be dedicated to Paul Walker

Fast 10: Your Seatbelts

Selling Paul Walker's keyboard on ebay ( $100 )

Disclaimer: it's missing a key ( previous owner lost CTRL ).

If Paul Walker was alive right now, I bet he would be

Frantically scratching at the inside of his coffin.

Crossing

The traffic light wasn't working on the corner of Broadway and 72nd Street, so the blonde stood with a large crowd of people waiting to cross, while a cop directed traffic.

Finally, the cop blew his whistle, motioned to the crowd, and shouted, "Okay, pedestrians!" The throng surged across B...

Watched a film called Speed Walker

To be honest, I found it hard to keep up. The pacing was terrible.

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A sleepwalker walks into a bar

A guy runs into a bar and just starts jogging in circles around the interior with his eyes shut. "Holy crap! That's Bob, and I think he's sleep walking. Heck, he's sleep running!" the waitress exclaims to the bartender. "He sure is fast asleep," the bartender comments.

What do Paul Walker and George of The Jungle have in common?

They both should've watched out for that tree.

Robber and walker

Late one night in the capitol city an Army deserter wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs.

"Give me your money!" he demanded.

Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can't do this
...I'm a Member of Parliament!"

"In that...

What does The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones and Fast and Furious have in common?

All their Walkers are dead

Which food killed the tightrope walker?

A falafel.

If Game of Thrones was written by M. Night Shyamalan, what would he have called the White Walkers?

Icy Dead People

What do you call a street walker in the winter?

A frostitute

Alan Walker was already a millionaire when he was 19

Where are you now

A husband and wife and their ten kids are waiting to board the subway.

When the subway arrives, it is nearly full. The husband tells his wife "Honey, you should board this train with the kids, and I'll catch the next train." The wife does so, and the train departs with his wife and ten children.

While waiting for the train, there is an old man with a walker...

What do Barcelona FC and a dog walker with Parkinson's have in common?

Neither of them can hold a lead.

I hate discussing things with Jay walkers

they always try to cross subjects at inappropriate times.

Did you hear about the dog-walker that went missing?

Police say they are following a few leads.

Paul Walker took up Zen Buddism not long before his death. . .

He became one with a tree.

Why does the farmer let walkers cross his field for free?....

....because the bull charges.

What happened to all the Paul Walker jokes?

It seems like they started going pretty fast, then just...stopped.

If Bran dies and a white walker brings him back...

Is he Raisin Bran?

why cant Paul Walker use tumblr?

He only sticks to the dashboard

Sergeant: ‘Are we any closer to solving the case of the missing dog-walker?’

Detective: ‘Well I’ve got a lead but nothing else has turned up’

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I got arrested for killing a walker.

Sleep walking my ass.

How are millenials and tightrope walkers alike?

Compromise their net and they will literally die.

John Wayne vs. Johnnie Walker

What the difference between John Wayne and Johnnie Walker?

Johnnie Walker is still killing indians.

Jacob, age 92, and Beth, age 89, are excited about their decision to get married.

They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a chemist. Jacob suggests they go in.


Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"...
The pharmacist answers "Yes".


Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
...

What's the saddest part of Paul Walker being CGI in Fast 7?

Realizing they should have used CGI the whole time

Whats red and climbs trees?

Paul Walkers Porsche

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Two old guys are sitting at a table in the nursing home, when a totally nude old lady with a walker streaks slowly past them

One guy says to the other, " I can't see so well anymore. What was that?"

The other guy says, "I'm not sure, but it definitely needed ironing."

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