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Why did Paul Walker cross the road?

Because he wasn’t wearing a seat belt.

what's the difference between Paul Walker and Betty White?

Paul Walker hit 100 before he died.

What did the tiger say when looking at the tightrope walkers?

“That’s what I call a balanced breakfast!”



…Please kill me

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What does a tightrope walker have in common with a 30 year old man getting a blowjob from an 80 year old woman?

Neither one of them wants to look down.

Crossing

The traffic light wasn't working on the corner of Broadway and 72nd Street, so the blonde stood with a large crowd of people waiting to cross, while a cop directed traffic.

Finally, the cop blew his whistle, motioned to the crowd, and shouted, "Okay, pedestrians!" The throng surged across B...

What's scarier than a skin-walker?

4 skin-walker

Did you hear about the street walker in Venice?

She drowned.

Have you heard of Alan Walker’s criminal brother?

Jay Walker

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A guy gets put in a nursing home by his son. He doesn’t know if he’s going to like it at first, but he decides to give it a shot for his son’s sake.

The first morning in the nursing home he wakes up with a hard on. Out of nowhere a beautiful nurse's aide walks in, bends over & blows him without saying a word.
The guy gets on the phone with his son and says, "Son, I love this place! Thank you so much for putting me in this nursing home....

Jim walked into a bar....

Jim, walked into a bar and aggressively shouted his order to the bartender

”Please give me a plate of chicken wings and then give everyone half a kilo steak and mutton, cause when I eat,
I want everyone to eat!”

The bartender complies, by giving Jim a plate of chicken wings and eve...

Why did the tiger eat the tightrope walker?

It wanted a balanced diet.

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Unfortunately due to unforseen circumstances Johnny Walker could not be with us tonight....

But, he's with us in spirit.

A seminary student from a small town decides to go into the big city...

He came across a street walker who said, "BJ $50". After walking another block, he came across another who also said, "BJ $50".

After he returned to the seminary, he asks a nun, "What is a BJ?". Nun answered, "$50, same as in town."

Two guys are playing cards in a nursing home when a naked old lady with a walker goes streaking

One guy says, “what was that?”

The other guy responds, “I don’t know, but it needed ironing!”

How did the paramedics know Paul Walker had clean hair?

They found his head and shoulders in the glove box

A man and his wife are sitting down to dinner.

A man and his wife are sitting down to dinner.

“Ringling Brothers is coming to town this week,” she said. “The poster says they have a dancing bear. I always wanted to see one of those.”

“Maybe next year,” says the man. “Work’s really busy this week.”

The next night at dinner, t...

A husband and wife and their ten kids are waiting to board the subway.

When the subway arrives, it is nearly full. The husband tells his wife "Honey, you should board this train with the kids, and I'll catch the next train." The wife does so, and the train departs with his wife and ten children.

While waiting for the train, there is an old man with a walker...

Did you hear about Paul Walker on the radio?

And the dashboard and pretty much the rest of the interior

I hope Rand Paul doesn't pick Scott Walker as his VP

I have a feeling Paul/Walker would crash and burn.

What was Paul Walker last words?

I could have had a V8.

I've decided to become a tightrope walker!

I figured I should give it a try since all my credit card companies say my balance is outstanding!

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What is a high wire walker, and a guy getting a blow job from a 100 year old woman both thinking?

Whatever you do, don't look down.

What do both Paul Walker and Vin Diesel have in common?

Both of their last big hits were trees

Have I ever told you my Dad was a stilt walker?

I really looked up to him.

Jacob, age 92, and Beth, age 89, are excited about their decision to get married.

They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a chemist. Jacob suggests they go in.


Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"...
The pharmacist answers "Yes".


Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
...

An 18 y/o boy getting a BJ from and 80 y/o woman and a tightrope walker have the same thought...What is it?

Don't look down!


My Dad broke this one out this morning thought I would share.

The Fast and the Furious 10 title should be dedicated to Paul Walker

Fast 10: Your Seatbelts

What is a quickie?

A Father was returning to the church from a meeting he had in the city when a street walker approached him and said ... hey father $25 for a quickie! The father blessed her and continued on his way. Once back at the church he pull a nun aside and asked ... sister, what is a quickie? ... The sister r...

Tightrope walkers do really dangerous things.

They put their lives on the line!

My none-too-bright mate had an accident on a building site when a slate fell off the roof and sliced his ear off…

“Here it is” said one of the lads working with him holding up what looked like a bloody walkers ridge crisp.

My mate shook his head “No, that’s not it, mine had a pencil tucked behind it”

Selling Paul Walker's keyboard on ebay ( $100 )

Disclaimer: it's missing a key ( previous owner lost CTRL ).

Robber and walker

Late one night in the capitol city an Army deserter wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs.

"Give me your money!" he demanded.

Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can't do this
...I'm a Member of Parliament!"

"In that...

If Paul Walker was alive right now, I bet he would be

Frantically scratching at the inside of his coffin.

Watched a film called Speed Walker

To be honest, I found it hard to keep up. The pacing was terrible.

Why did the bankrupt tightrope walker retire?

He no longer had outstanding balance.

If Game of Thrones was written by M. Night Shyamalan, what would he have called the White Walkers?

Icy Dead People

What do Barcelona FC and a dog walker with Parkinson's have in common?

Neither of them can hold a lead.

Which food killed the tightrope walker?

A falafel.

What do you call a street walker in the winter?

A frostitute

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Maybe repost, but it is a fabulous joke so I'll risk it. (Long, and works better when spoken)

A man is waking up in the morning, when he reads in the newspaper that the circus is coming to town. So he decides to go and see. He gets into his seat and the show starts. He watches the lions, the elephants, the tight rope walkers, and at the end there's a clown insulting people in the audience. T...

Alan Walker was already a millionaire when he was 19

Where are you now

I hate discussing things with Jay walkers

they always try to cross subjects at inappropriate times.

You may only get this joke if you live in the UK, so apologies...

Two packets of Crisps leave the cinema, a car pulls up alongside them and the driver offers them a lift, they reply, ‘No thanks, we’re Walkers’.

If Bran dies and a white walker brings him back...

Is he Raisin Bran?

Race car backwards is race car

But race car sideways is how Paul Walker died

Talk about coincidence

BBC NEWS: Three Cliff Walkers have fallen to their death on an expedition....
Can't believe they all had the same name.

It was Ho Choo’s first time in America, and he was excited to visit an “American bar”.

He quickly locates one and finds a seat by the counter, where two other men are already seated.

The surly bartender tilts his head at the first man, who says “Jack Daniels, single.”

The bartender nods and looks towards the second man, who says, “Johnny Walker, single.”

The bart...

Why does the farmer let walkers cross his field for free?....

....because the bull charges.

Did you know Paul walker was on the radio when he died?

He was also on the dashboard, the windscreen and the steering wheel.

Sergeant: ‘Are we any closer to solving the case of the missing dog-walker?’

Detective: ‘Well I’ve got a lead but nothing else has turned up’

why cant Paul Walker use tumblr?

He only sticks to the dashboard

Did you hear about the dog-walker that went missing?

Police say they are following a few leads.

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I got arrested for killing a walker.

Sleep walking my ass.

After a fight, my girlfriend wanted to know where we stood. I told her I loved her like Vin Diesel loves Paul Walker. She got all giddy and told me how much she loves me too.

I looked at her with confusion and clarified: "What I meant was you're dead to me."

Paul Walker took up Zen Buddism not long before his death. . .

He became one with a tree.

How are millenials and tightrope walkers alike?

Compromise their net and they will literally die.

An atheist, a vegan and a CrossFitter walker walk into a bar

I only know that because they told everyone within the first 2 minutes.

What happened to all the Paul Walker jokes?

It seems like they started going pretty fast, then just...stopped.

What's the saddest part of Paul Walker being CGI in Fast 7?

Realizing they should have used CGI the whole time

John Wayne vs. Johnnie Walker

What the difference between John Wayne and Johnnie Walker?

Johnnie Walker is still killing indians.

3 bags of crisps walking down the road .. a bloke pulls up ,says hay guys wanna lift?

No thanks they replied we’re walkers

Johnnie Walker, Jack Daniels and Jim Beam walk into a bar

What is this, said the bartender, Alcoholics Eponymous?

What's a tightrope walker's favourite beverage?

Stabili-tea.

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Two old guys are sitting at a table in the nursing home, when a totally nude old lady with a walker streaks slowly past them

One guy says to the other, " I can't see so well anymore. What was that?"

The other guy says, "I'm not sure, but it definitely needed ironing."

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My mate tried some Walkers mystery flavour crisps last night and swore they tasted like his wife's pussy,

He thought it was his imagination but everyone in the pub said he was right!

What's Paul Walker's favorite energy drink???

N.O.S.



too bad he can't handle the crash...

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