Why did Paul Walker cross the road?

Because he wasn’t wearing a seat belt.

Why did the tiger eat the tightrope walker?

It wanted a balanced diet.

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Unfortunately due to unforseen circumstances Johnny Walker could not be with us tonight....

But, he's with us in spirit.

Two guys are playing cards in a nursing home when a naked old lady with a walker goes streaking

One guy says, “what was that?”

The other guy responds, “I don’t know, but it needed ironing!”

How did the paramedics know Paul Walker had clean hair?

They found his head and shoulders in the glove box

what's the difference between my computer and Paul walker.

I care when my computer crashes.

I added Paul Walker on XBOX

But he spends all his time on the dashboard.



I’m going to hell over this.

In honor of Paul Walkers birthday I plan on having a Paul Walker shot

It’s an Irish car bomb followed by a shot of fireball.

racecaR

Racecar backwards is racecar, but racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died.

What was Paul Walker last words?

I could have had a V8.

I've decided to become a tightrope walker!

I figured I should give it a try since all my credit card companies say my balance is outstanding!

What do both Paul Walker and Vin Diesel have in common?

Both of their last big hits were trees

The Fast and the Furious 10 title should be dedicated to Paul Walker

Fast 10: Your Seatbelts

Tightrope walkers do really dangerous things.

They put their lives on the line!

Have I ever told you my Dad was a stilt walker?

I really looked up to him.

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What is a High Wire Walker and a guy getting a blowjob from a 97 year old woman both thinking?

Whatever you do..don't look down.

What do Paul Walker and George of The Jungle have in common?

They both should've watched out for that tree.

Selling Paul Walker's keyboard on ebay ( $100 )

Disclaimer: it's missing a key ( previous owner lost CTRL ).

Did you hear about Paul Walker on the radio?

And the dashboard and pretty much the rest of the interior

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My Friend Clarence

Hey Clarence, What's up?

My name isn't Clarence anymore. You can call me LUCKY. I met a great woman and now I feel like the Luckiest man in the world.

A few months later I saw Clarence and I said, "Hey Lucky, how is it going?"

Don't call me LUCKY. My new name is LUCKY LUCKY. I w...

If Game of Thrones was written by M. Night Shyamalan, what would he have called the White Walkers?

Icy Dead People

An 18 y/o boy getting a BJ from and 80 y/o woman and a tightrope walker have the same thought...What is it?

Don't look down!


My Dad broke this one out this morning thought I would share.

What does Kevin Hart have in common with Paul Walker?

Being friends with the rock!

Wait, what did you think I was going to say?

I hope Rand Paul doesn't pick Scott Walker as his VP

I have a feeling Paul/Walker would crash and burn.

One day there were three grave robbers searching through a graveyard in Central America

They came across an Ancient Mayan temple which had three doors. the first grave robber walker up to the first door and looked inside, he saw a black pedestal with nothing on it, and in the back of the room there were piles of gold and riches, so he walked in and grabbed a handful of gold, but as he ...

Why did the bankrupt tightrope walker retire?

He no longer had outstanding balance.

What do Barcelona FC and a dog walker with Parkinson's have in common?

Neither of them can hold a lead.

If Paul Walker was alive right now, I bet he would be

Frantically scratching at the inside of his coffin.

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A round with the guys

\[Translated from a popular Punjabi joke\]

Tim's sitting around with the lads having drinks on a Saturday night.

A few drinks later, Tim claims:

"Guys, I have a special talent. I can name you the liquor brandname used in a drink, just from tasting it."

His buddies doubt h...

I hate discussing things with Jay walkers

they always try to cross subjects at inappropriate times.

Which food killed the tightrope walker?

A falafel.

Watched a film called Speed Walker

To be honest, I found it hard to keep up. The pacing was terrible.

What do you call a street walker in the winter?

A frostitute

Alan Walker was already a millionaire when he was 19

Where are you now

Why does the farmer let walkers cross his field for free?....

....because the bull charges.

Sergeant: ‘Are we any closer to solving the case of the missing dog-walker?’

Detective: ‘Well I’ve got a lead but nothing else has turned up’

There was this drunk walking down the street

He walks up to this cop and he says, “man, somebody stole my car”.

And the cops says, “well where was it”... and he says “it was right on the end of this key”.

The cop says, “I don’t know man, why don’t you go down to the precinct house and report it down there. They’ll fill out all t...

Daily Covid-19 check

At 7 p.m. open the whiskey bottle and smell it.

If you can smell, you are not infected.

Then pour it in in a glass tumbler.

Taste it. if you can feel the taste, you are not infected.

\~ Dr Johnny Walker

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I got arrested for killing a walker.

Sleep walking my ass.

How are millenials and tightrope walkers alike?

Compromise their net and they will literally die.

Love at Last!

George, age 92 and Edith, age 89 are all excited about their decision to get married.They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. George suggests they go in and he addresses the man behind the counter.

"Are you the owner? "The pharmacist answers, "Yes". <...

If Bran dies and a white walker brings him back...

Is he Raisin Bran?

After a fight, my girlfriend wanted to know where we stood. I told her I loved her like Vin Diesel loves Paul Walker. She got all giddy and told me how much she loves me too.

I looked at her with confusion and clarified: "What I meant was you're dead to me."

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A dude gets stranded on a deserted isle all alone....

Six months later, a woman walks out of the ocean in a wet suit. She's gorgeous.

She strolls up and says, "Want a scotch on ice?"

The guy is dumbfounded and nods yes.

She unzips the wet suit a little and pulls out a flask, ice and a glass. She makes a Walker over ice.

She ...

Paul Walker took up Zen Buddism not long before his death. . .

He became one with a tree.

What was the last thing to cross Paul Walker's mind?

The windshield

why cant Paul Walker use tumblr?

He only sticks to the dashboard

Did you know Paul walker was on the radio when he died?

He was also on the dashboard, the windscreen and the steering wheel.

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The other day

An Englishman, American and Irishman were having a drink at the bar. The Englishman says to the others "The other day, I went into my daughters room and found a cigarette! I didn't even know that she smoked!".


The American chuckles "That's nothing! The other day I went into my daught...

An atheist, a vegan and a CrossFitter walker walk into a bar

I only know that because they told everyone within the first 2 minutes.

Did you hear about the dog-walker that went missing?

Police say they are following a few leads.

What's a tightrope walker's favourite beverage?

Stabili-tea.

What happened to all the Paul Walker jokes?

It seems like they started going pretty fast, then just...stopped.

What's the saddest part of Paul Walker being CGI in Fast 7?

Realizing they should have used CGI the whole time

John Wayne vs. Johnnie Walker

What the difference between John Wayne and Johnnie Walker?

Johnnie Walker is still killing indians.

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A Navy Rhyme

A Navy man, a war hero, attends a lunch at a Ladies’ Patriotic Society. Cucumber sandwiches on crustless bread – he endures it manfully. Then the ladies, who have been at the sherry, ask to hear a Navy rhyme. Ladies, he says, I will accede to your request. But in place of each atrocious word, I will...

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Two old guys are sitting at a table in the nursing home, when a totally nude old lady with a walker streaks slowly past them

One guy says to the other, " I can't see so well anymore. What was that?"

The other guy says, "I'm not sure, but it definitely needed ironing."

An indian lady visited a bar for the first time,

She sat at the table in front of the bar tender,

A guy at her left side ordered : "Jack Daniels , Single"

A guy at her right side ordered: "Johnny Walker , Single"

The bar tender looked at the lady and asked : "And you..?"

The lady replied : "Meenachi shockalingam , Marri...

A man and his wife are sitting down to dinner.

“Ringling Brothers is coming to town this week,” she said. “The poster says they have a dancing bear. I always wanted to see one of those.”

“Maybe next year,” says the man. “Work’s really busy this week.”

The next night at dinner, the man can barely sit down before his wife starts talk...

What's Paul Walker's favorite energy drink???

N.O.S.



too bad he can't handle the crash...

Jim walked into a bar......

Jim, walked into a Bar and aggressively shouted his order to the bartender

”Please give me a plate of chicken wings and then give everyone half a kilo steak and mutton, cause when I eat,
I want everyone to eat!”

The bartender complies to this by giving Jim a plate of chicken wings ...

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My mate tried some Walkers mystery flavour crisps last night and swore they tasted like his wife's pussy,

He thought it was his imagination but everyone in the pub said he was right!

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