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Gardner Jokes

Why is Yoda such a good gardner?

Because he has two green thumbs.
(happy May the 4th)

I once knew a very wise herb gardner

He was know for his sage advice

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Onomastics is the study of last names, and the connection to their thing. Like how Smith's used to be makers, or Gardners used to care for plants and vegetables, or Yorks come from the town of Yorke....

I don't think I want to know what the backstory is for the Dickensons...

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A millionaire and his wife

A millionaire and his wife lead a lavish lifestyle, until one day the guy lost everything in a shady investment. That night he went home and explained their diminished financial status to his wife.

"Since we need to start saving, you should learn to cook so we can let go of our personal chef...

Gotta reduce our costs

After the Wall Street crisis, this executive got a got smaller bonus, so he comes home to his 5th avenue duplex and says to his wife:

- Honey, times are tough now, so if you could learn how to clean and cook, we could get rid of the maid and the cook and save money.

- great idea! Now i...

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They're having sex

Little Jhonny and his mama and papa lived in a one bedroom apartment with a balcony. Now with little Johnny being little the parents would send him out into the balcony whenever they wanted to get frisky, to make it seem routine they'd ask him what he saw when he was out. So one Saturday afternoon h...

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I heard a man talking in a Scottish pub...

He was saying "Ya noo, I fathered seven children from these loins, raised 'em meself, but do they call me Seamus the Father? No!"

He took a long swig and continued. "That bridge on the edge of town? Built it meself, with me own two hands! But do they call me Seamus the Bridger? No!"
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