Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping

They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. In the middle of the night Sherlock wakes up Watson and says: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”
Watson replies with: “I see millions and millions of stars.”
Holmes says: “And what do you deduce from that?”
Watson...

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What do you call a constipated Sherlock Holmes?

No shit Sherlock

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Sherlock Holmes and Watson were walking home one night

when Sherlock Homes suddenly stopped.

"Dear God. I just stepped on something brown and icky. Tell me Watson, was it mud?"

Watson looked back at what Holmes stepped on and said "No. Shit Sherlock".

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip.

After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awakens and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”



Watson replies, “I see millions and millions of stars.”



“What doe...

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Holmes and Watson are out on a camping trip

Finally away from work, Dr Watson and Sherlock Holmes decide to spend there time off the great outsiders They set up their camp, get a fire roaring, put up their tent and get ready for the evening in the wild. After a nice meal, the two detectives decide it’s time to head on to bed. They both crawl ...

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Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock was requiring the assistance of Watson on a case. He knocks at the lavatory door, where Watson has been for the last half an hour. Sherlock- "What's taking you so long Watson?". Watson- "nothing is coming out sir". Sherlock- "what do you mean?". Watson- "like no shit, Sherlock".

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Watson and Holmes are on a unusual case

London has been struck by what the locals refer to as a mad pooper. His victims are found dead with fecal matter spread on their corpses. Everyone’s on edge, when another victim is found.
Watson and Holmes are summoned to the scene, and after a few minutes, Watson exclaims to his partner, “you’r...

Which question does Sherlock Holmes ask when he is bored?

Watson TV?

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What did Dr. Watson say to Sherlock Holmes after his colonoscopy?

No shit Sherlock

What is Sherlock Holmes' favorite type of rock?

Sedimentary, my dear Watson.

Sherlock Holmes arrives back at Baker Street as Watson is heading out of the door.

"Where are you off to Watson?"

"Oh, I've got a date with Ella from down the road. She left me a note for where to meet." Says Watson, "see you in a few hours!" and he leaves, shutting the door behind him.

30 minutes later, Watson returns.

Sherlock is sitting in his chair, smok...

Holmes and Watson are out hunting one day. John spies something moving in the bushes, and with practiced aim, levels his rifle and fires. They pull aside the brush to reveal a severed leg, with a clean bullet wound just below the ankle.

“Watson!” Holmes cries out. “The game’s afoot!”

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were walking through a park...

They passed three women sitting on a bench each eating a banana. All three women greeted Sherlock Holmes "Good afternoon Mr. Holmes." and Sherlock acknowledged each woman with a nod and a smile.

When they were some distance away, Dr. Watson turned to him and asked "Sherlock do you know thos...

Dr. Watson was again impressed by Sherlock Holmes’ diverse set of skills, as Watson asked inquisitively as to what tree Sherlock was planting...

To which Sherlock replied, “Why, that’s a lemon tree, my dear Watson.”

Sherlock Holmes and Watson go camping

Towards the end of the evening, they decide to turn into their tent and sleep.

Around 3AM, Sherlock rouses Watson awake

"Watson! Watson!!"

Watson opens his eyes and sees a beautiful night sky full of shimmering stars.

"What do you see Watson?"

"Well Dr Holmes, I se...

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Dr. Watson is performing an autopsy. Holmes ask if he’s found the cause of death.

Watson: It would appear the decedent had a bowel obstruction. It caused a rupture in the intestinal wall, creating a septic condition and ultimately, death.

Holmes: Wait, John, are you saying he died of...

Watson: No Shit, Sherlock.

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Sherlock Holmes and Watson are out traveling together, after a long trek, they pitch a tent and call it a night...

In the middle of the night, Sherlock nudges Watson and tells him to "look up" "tell me what you see".

*"Well..."* says Watson, *"I see the beautiful moon and the night stars all dazzling and magnificent..."*

*"I see"* says Sherlock *"Look closer"* he insists.

*"I see the infinit...

Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock Holmes is inspecting a bed. He says to Watson, "this bed is missing something." Watson replies "no sheet sherlock."

Why did Sherlock Holmes visit a Mexican restaurant?

Because he was looking for a good case idea.

What did John Holmes and Mr. Ed have in common?

They both like cornflakes.

A kid ask his slightly deaf father about Sherlock Holmes

-Dad, do you know who was Sherlock Holmes' best friend?

-What son?

Why are Sherlock Holmes' taxes so low?

He's a master of deduction.

Sherlock Holmes shares good news with Watson at a pub one night...

"I've gone and found myself a girlfriend!" exclaims Holmes.

"Well, right on!" said Watson. "You must tell me more about her."

"She's on the short side, extremely innocent, and she's a determined, hard-working schoolgirl."

"A schoolgirl, eh? Good to hear she cares about her educ...

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"To a great mind, nothing is little" - Sherlock Holmes

Therefore, my dick isn't tiny. Bitches are just too dumb for it.

Ordered a Sherlock Holmes game online...

Received a podiatric prosthesis instead...

Must unravel this strange mystery.

The game is afoot.

What do Sherlock Holmes and a man on a toilet have in common?

They're both deducing.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson was taking the train

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson was taking the train one day when they passed a huge flock of sheep in a field. As quickly as they had observed the fluffy cloud it had passed out of view.

"So many sheep!" Watson exclaimed. "I wonder how many there were?"

"Elementary, Dear Watson. There ...

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Holmes and Watson have been tracking down a thief, who had been reported for stealing camping gear.

Using their marvellous detective work, they uncover the thief’s hoard of stolen camping gear, and are immediately praised. To celebrate their victory, Watson decides to take Holmes on a camping trip, using the criminal’s tent.

They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. In the midd...

Watson found Holmes busily painting the front door bright yellow.

"What on earth is that, Holmes?"

"It's a lemon entry, my dear Watson."

Sherlock Holmes & John Watson were riding along in a carriage.

They went past a fruit orchard with numerous trees laden with apples. One odd tree stood out from the rest.

Watson was curious, "What's that Holmes?"

Sherlock replied, "A Lemon Tree, my dear Watson."

What did Sherlock Holmes say after being asked to get a paternity test?

Wat*son*?

Sherlock Holmes and his partner are walking in the woods...

...they happen upon a tree bearing yellow fruit. Watson asks, "What the hell is that?", Sherlock responds, "A lemon tree my dear Watson."

Sherlock Holmes and Watson find themselves at a scene of utter carnage...

As Holmes, who had a nose for danger, quietly fingered the bloody knife and eyed the various body parts strewn along the dark, deserted highway, he placed his ear to the ground and, with his heart in his throat, silently mouthed to his companion, “Arm yourself Watson, there's an evil hand afoot ahea...

Why doesn't sherlock holmes ever drink tea made in hospitals?

He really hates more ER tea

Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson were going camping.

They set up their tent, started a campfire, and laid down their sleeping bags inside of the tent. After a few hours of playing cards and joking by the fire, they extinguished the fire and went to sleep. Holmes awoke Watson in the middle of the night and they looked up at the starry night sky.
...

Holmes and Watson were investigating a murder at an archaeological dig-site

Holmes picks up several of the rocks and pebbles surrounding the murder victim. After a while, Holmes turns to his companion and says "I've cracked the case. The suspect was clearly murdered with a blow to the head by a rock, which then crumbled and scattered into pieces."

"How on Earth can y...

So Katie Holmes is divorcing Tom Cruise...

Apparently she found out that he'd been in A Few Good Men.

Holmes, someone has put miracle grow on this freshly dug grave.

The plot thickens, my dear Watson.

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Mr. Holmes, we need a good slogan for your brand of toilet paper.

No shit, Sherlock!

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Sherlock Holmes Looks at the Night Sky

Sherlock Holmes and Watson are laying in their sleeping bags looking up at the midsummer sky. Sherlock turns to Watson and asks, "Watson, what do you see?"

"Stars and the moon, dear Holmes," he says.

"What does it mean?" Sherlock asks.

"Well," says Watson. "It quite simply means...

Sherlock Holmes' wife being very neglected took to compensatory eating and put on an enormous amount of weight.

The master detective took her to his friend Dr. Watson for examination. After the doctor had given her a thorough examination, Holmes asked him, "What is the problem, doctor?"
Dr. Watson replied, "Alimentary, my dear Holmes!"

Sherlock Holmes and Watson are taking a walk in the garden nearby after a case.

Watson suddenly turns towards Holmes and says, "You must stop making fun of me now, Holmes. I'm not that dumb now. That was long ago."

Sherlock Holmes looks at Watson a bit mockingly and says, "OK, then. Show me what you can deduce from the objects you see around us."

"Sure.", says Wat...

Sherlock Holmes turned to Dr Watson and announced

"The murderer lives in the house with the yellow door."

"Good grief, Holmes," said Watson. "How on earth did you deduce that?"

"It's a lemon entry, my dear Watson."

Sherlock Holmes got audited by the IRS.

He had too many deductions.

SHERLOCK HOLMES WAS CAMPING WITH DR. WATSON

Sherlock Holmes was camping with Dr. Watson…

…and Mr. Holmes turned to his assistant: Tell me, Watson, what do you see?

Watson was puzzled by the remark, but he looked up and said, “Stars. Millions and millions of them.”

Holmes responded: “I agree. And Dr. Watson, certainly you ...

Watson and Holmes are returning from the lock-and-key shop where they've ordered an extra apartment key because Watson lost his.

As they arrive, Watson bounds up the steps to 221B Baker Street and barges into their apartment as Sherlock Holmes follows him.

"I'll show you my deductions today Holmes!", he says. "I can deduce too!"

Sherlock Holmes shows him the only key to the apartment and says, "What can you ded...

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Holmes said to his brother, "Mycroft, all this heroin that Watson administers is making me terribly constipated."

And Mycroft responded, "No shit, Sherlock?"

Why did Sherlock Holmes not want a second cup of tea in the emergency room?

Because it was More ER Tea.

Why did Katie Holmes get rid of her fancy car?

She got tired of all that Cruise control.

Why doesn't Sherlock Holmes pay any income tax?

Because he makes so many brilliant deductions.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, the fire dwindling nearby, Holmes said: "Watson, look up and tell me what you see".

Watson said "I see a fantastic panorama of countless of stars".

Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"

Watso...

Tesla, Oscar Wilde, and Sherlock Holmes walk into a bar.

The punchline of this joke was patented and then hidden by Thomas Edison.

Mr. Holmes gets into a car accident...

He arrives at the emergency room but there's a fair wait. So he get's some tea from the vending machine and it's quite good. Once his time comes he's brought in and admitted to a room. He's then brought a meal from the kitchen and soon calls in the nurse.

"Nurse, I can't drink this horrid te...

Doggy Sherlock Holmes was investigating a case...

Doggy Sherlock: Any leads?
Doggy Watson: Yes, Holmes. Two.
Doggy Sherlock: Excellent, lets take them and go walkies.

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Sherlock Holmes goes camping

Sherlock Holmes and Watson go camping one night.
They've had a great evening but it's getting late so they go to sleep.
In the middle of the night Holmes elbows Watson awake and says - Watson, look up at the stars and tell me what you deduce. Watson looks up and says - Well, there's million of...

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Sherlock Holmes and his assistant, Watson were visiting United States...

Both came across a primary school and Sherlock turned to his assistant, "Elementary, my dear Watson." Watson replied "No shit, Sherlock."

Sherlock Holmes and his trusty associate Dr. John Watson are strolling leisurely through London's botanical gardens. (OC)

They are investigating the mysterious disappearance of a botanist who specialized in arboreal citrus.

Watson squints, focusing his gaze on something across the gardens. He gasps in surprise and grabs Sherlock's arm. He points at the thing that has captivated his attention and asks "Sherlock, ...

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