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Rogers Jokes

What did Kenny Rogers say when his tire came off?

“You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel”

Mr.Rogers once was on a cruise ship, and fell overboard into the ocean



He was then carried safely to shore by a family of sharks.

Kenny Rogers

Is it too early to say that Kenny Rogers took this whole social distancing thing too far?

I have a few questions about the Buck Rogers TV series from 1979.

Never mind. I'll check Twikipedia.

Kenny Rogers has died at the age of 81

In a statement to confused reporters, Kenny Loggins was quoted as saying “I’m alright, Don’t nobody worry bout me”

(It’s a Caddyshack joke)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Steve Rogers: Bruce, aren't you worried about getting cancer from the Hulk's radiation?

Bruce Banner: That's my secret, Cap. *pulls out a horoscope* I'm already a Cancer.

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PS: I know, Bruce Banner is actually a Sagittarius. Don't @ me, bro.

(non-spoiler) Why could't Team Avengers sign Steve Rogers?

They didn't have enough cap space.

One thing we can say about Kenny Rogers...

He certainly knew when to fold ‘em.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mr. Rogers the biology teacher called on Mary

"Can you tell me the part of the body that, under the right conditions expands upto 6 times it's normal size?"

Mary gasped and said in a huff, " Mr. Rogers! That is a very inappropriate question. The principal will be hearing of this. " She sat down red faced.

"Susan, can you tell me t...

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Roy Rogers and the mountain lion

Back in the 1950s, cowboy star Roy Rogers bought a brand new pair of expensive cowboy boots. Cowboy boots are notoriously stiff when they're new so Roy spent all morning oiling and working the leather to try to soften them up a bit. He then took them out onto the back porch to dry in the sunlight wh...

Aaron Rogers, Eli Manning and dak Prescott walk into a bar

To watch the playoffs

The band U2 went to the premiere of the new Mr. Rogers film...

...because it’s a Beautiful Day in the neighborhood.

What is Steve Rogers' favorite cut of beef?

Cap meat

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob

Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-...

Why don't boats like it when Steve Rogers stares at them?

Cap's eyes

Bob Ross and Mr. Rogers fight for nicest person ever. Who wins?

They both share the trophy

Dedicated to /u/RogerSimon10 (RIP)

A set of jumper cables walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, “OK, I'll serve you, but don't start anything.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many of you forgave your enemies?

During Sunday mass, the priest asked the crowd:

-"How many of you forgave your enemies?"

Around 80% of them raised their hands. The priest then asked: "And how many of you intend to forgive your enemies?", and almost everyone's hand was now in the air. Everyone except a feeble, old lad...

Kenny Rogers was a video game purist who insisted on teaching his kids the correct way to play.

He said, "if you're gonna play the Gameboy, you gotta learn to play it right."

Chic and Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five are plotting to destroy the world, and so former arch-enemies the Village People and the Beastie Boys put aside their differences to stop them

The slaughter is brutal and extremely exciting to watch, but finally, it ends in a showdown: Nile Rogers and Grandmaster Flash, laughing as they square up to the last surviving Beastie Boy and the last surviving Village Person.

He straightens his hard hat, draws his sword and charges at Nile ...

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