Half Pound Jokes

and tells the grocer, "I want one pound of potatoes, one pound of tomatoes, and one pound of onions."

The grocer replies, "I'm sorry, but we don't have any onions."

"Okay, then give me two pounds of potatoes, one and a half pounds of tomatoes, and half a pound of onions."

"I tol... read more

A butcher is leaning on the counter toward the close of day when a dog with a basket in its jaws comes pushing through the door. "An' wot's this then? " he asked. The dog knocks the basket sharply into the butcher's shins. "You dumb dog. " As he reaches down to smack the dog, he notices a note and a... read more