UPJOKE

Half Off Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An unkempt teenager with his pants hanging half off his bottom walked into the local welfare office to pick up his welfare payment.

He marched up to the counter and said,

"Hi. You know, I just H A T E drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job.. I don't like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing."

The social worker behind the counter said "Your timing is excellent. We Just got a job ope...

What do you call pants that are half off?

Pant

Everything was half off at a retail store

It really cheapened the experience.

"Special today! Jokes, half off!"

"I'll take one." "Why did the chicken cross the road?" "I don't know, why?" "Sorry, that's all you get."

Customer to sales girl, I'm here for the crazy pant's half off sale.

Salesgirl, Yes I know....I can clearly see your nuts.

Why did Donald Trump rush to Macy's?

He heard they had Ivanka's clothes half off

What do R.Kelly and Walmart have in common?

They both have kids pants half off.

Did you hear about the sith lord who went shopping?

He went to the Maul. Everything was half off.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the difference between thrifting and sex in the backseat of a car?

Nothing, the dress is still half off

My friend was suicidal and worked at retail

His coworkers found his goodbye note in the break room. They checked the back room but were too late. The price gun, still smoking, and his head, half off

Michael Jackson should have opened a clothing line for pants.

He could have called it Billie Jeans.

Those prices are THRILLER!
No one can BEAT IT!

Kids pants would be half off there.

I'm starting a discount amputation clinic.

I'm calling it Half Off For Half Off.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My grandfather's favourite joke

First time posting here, my grandfather's funeral was yesterday, and in honor of him I thought I would share his favourite joke of all time. My grandfather worked in advertisement, and his favourite jokes had to do with bad advertising. His favourite? Women's dresses, half off.

Rest in peace...

You know why Onlyfans is going to go out of business?

Because everything is half off.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the pedophile go to Walmart?

He heard that boys pants were half off.

I recently bought a Supreme Leader Snoke toy at the store.

The price was definitely worth it since it was half off.

Why did Gary Glitter go to Walmart?

Because children’s clothes were half off!

Victoria’s Secret is having a Janet Jackson themed sale for the Holidays

All bras are half off

(NSFW) Did you hear they're having a Michael Jackson sale at Walmart?

A - Boy's pants are half off.

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