Get Onto Jokes - 9 Hilarious Get Onto Jokes

How do trees get onto the internet

they log in

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3 men get onto a plane

One is English, one is French and the other is German.

The English man drops a stone, the french drops a knife and the German drops a bomb

When the English man gets back his Dad is in the garden crying. He asks why. His Dad says "Me and your Mother were gardening when a stone dropped f...

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A roofer gets to choose how to get onto the roof. He can either use a scissor lift or a series of steps between two metal poles.

He chose the ladder.

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A woman and her baby get onto a bus, and the bus driver says "That is the ugliest baby I've ever seen"...

Offended, the woman takes her baby to the back of the bus. She sits down next to a man and tells him "The bus driver just insulted me!" The man replied "Go and demand an apology! Don't worry, I'll hold your pet monkey."

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I saw a woman drop her purse in the high street this morning, so…

I quickly followed her. As I was just about to tap her on the shoulder she started running for a bus. So I ran after her shouting, "You dropped your purse! You dropped your purse!"
She didn't hear me and proceeded to get onto the bus, so I got on the bus too. As I walked to the back of the bus...

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A koala was sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks up and says "Hey koala what are you doing?"

The koala answers "Smoking a joint, come up and have some." The lizard climbs up and the two share the joint.

After a while the lizard says his mouth is dry and excuses himself to a nearby river to have a drink. The lizard, so stoned, leans over too far and falls in. A crocodile swims out to ...

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Farm kid writes letter home after joining Marines....

Dear Ma and Pa:

I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am ge...

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A Russian moves to America

(Mild swearing at the end)

A young man from the depths of Siberia, Dmitri, moves to America hoping to start a new life. He buys a nice apartment, lives comfortably and integrates himself into the community, as a fine, upstanding citizen of New York.

6 or 7 months later, his old friends...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Indian men on a bus in NY..

2 men from India get onto a bus in New York. They sit down & engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next 2 them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears 1 of them say the following:

"Emma cums first.. Den I cum... Den two asses cum together... . ...

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