UPJOKE
relateoutwellinsteadonewhileandupturnbutfewstillintowayput

Why are seismologists so hard to get along with?

Because they're sensitive to a fault.

I really don’t get why people on Reddit don’t get along with vegans.

I’ve never had a beef with one.

Why does yo mama get along with all men?

Because a dog is a man's best friend.

Plastic surgeons don't get along with me.

But they bring out the breast in my wife.

Why don't X and Z get along with Y?

Because Y so serious

Why the F1 driver doesn't get along with his crew?

He has thrust issues.

A duck walks into a tavern and orders a beer.

The bartender thinks "Wow, a talking duck," and pours him a beer.

The bartender asks "I don't think I've seen you in here before. Do you live in the neighborhood?"

The duck says "No, I live across town. I'm a drywaller, and I'm working the office renovation across the street. I...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally, sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska, as far from humanity as possible.

He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it’s total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it, and a huge, bearded man is standing there. “Name’s Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Hav...

A pregnant lady at the doctors.

Doctor: "Do you wish that the the baby's father be present at the birth?"

Patient: "I prefer not.

Doctor: Oh Why is that?

Patient: He doesn't get along with my husband."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My british friend tried joining the ultimate frisbee team....

but he didn't get along with anyone cause he thought they were all tossers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I went to the local strip club.

Got a lap dance from a stripper named Cinderella. I thought it was a odd stripper name but then it made sense. Her Dad wasn't around, didn't get along with stepmom, and wore see through shoes.

God was creating all the countries and it was the United Kingdom’s turn.

He turned to his angels and said, “ They shall live on a miserable damp island, they’ll barely get along with each other and be constantly on each other’s throats if not dealing with other countries, have bland food, the worst dental hygiene and have this insufferable fantasy about their country bei...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.