Why are seismologists so hard to get along with?

Because they're sensitive to a fault.

I don’t understand why people don’t seem to get along with vegetarians.

I have never had a beef with one.

Why does yo mama get along with all men?

Because a dog is a man's best friend.

Why the F1 driver doesn't get along with his crew?

He has thrust issues.

Plastic surgeons don't get along with me.

But they bring out the breast in my wife.

Why don't X and Z get along with Y?

Because Y so serious

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Meeting the locals....

Tom had been in Police work for 30 years.

Finally sick of the stress, he retires from his job and buys 50 acres of land in the highlands of Scotland, as far from humanity as possible.

He sees the postman once a week and does a food shop once a month.

Otherwise it's total peace ...

A pregnant lady at the doctors.

Doctor: "Do you wish that the the baby's father be present at the birth?"

Patient: "I prefer not.

Doctor: Oh Why is that?

Patient: He doesn't get along with my husband."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My british friend tried joining the ultimate frisbee team....

but he didn't get along with anyone cause he thought they were all tossers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I went to the local strip club.

Got a lap dance from a stripper named Cinderella. I thought it was a odd stripper name but then it made sense. Her Dad wasn't around, didn't get along with stepmom, and wore see through shoes.

A little Catholic boy and a little Protestant girl, both about four years old, were growing up in Northern Ireland...

Even though Catholics and Protestants didn’t generally get along with one another, the two played together often, not understanding why their families said they shouldn’t be friends.

On one particularly hot day, the two were playing when the little girl said, “‘Tis terribly hot today. We sho...

Blind rage

Why don't blind people get along with anyone?

They can never see eye to eye.

God was creating all the countries and it was the United Kingdom’s turn.

He turned to his angels and said, “ They shall live on a miserable damp island, they’ll barely get along with each other and be constantly on each other’s throats if not dealing with other countries, have bland food, the worst dental hygiene and have this insufferable fantasy about their country bei...

Questionable Advice

After my dad died, my mom started dating a man who had just immigrated from France.

He wanted to get along with me so that my mom would like him more, and he knew I liked baseball, so he would play catch with me and encouraged me to join the school's baseball team.

He would always sa...

A man was walking along the beach and found a bottle.

He looked around and didn't see anyone so
he opened it. A genie appeared and thanked the man
for letting him out. The genie said, "For your
kindness I will grant you one wish, but only one."
The man thought for a minute and said, "I have
always wanted to go to Hawaii but have never be...

Don’t get married

Just find a woman you can’t get along with and buy her a house. It’s cheaper.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Redneck party

This guy moves from New York to a really backwoods part of West Virginia, where he's miles from anyone. After about 2 months on his own, there's a knock on the door. He opens the door to see this huge redneck with a massive beard and yellow teeth.

The redneck says "I'm yer neighbor from up ...

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