Free Time Jokes - 29 Hilarious Free Time Jokes

When I was a single man, I had a lot of free time.

Now that I listen to whole albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Why didn't the sperm donor have any free time?

Because he had loads to do.

"What do you do in your free time? " "I stalk. "

"Really? I go swimming and for long hikes"

"I know.".

How do you know if somebody has to much free time?

They're on reddit looking for a laugh.

I'll see myself out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does a ram do with his free time?

Fuck ewe.

I wo der how people used their free time before the internet...

I asked my eight siblings but they didn't know either.

In my free time I like to help blind people

That’s an verb not an adjective

What do fishermen do in their free time?

They master bait

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does a man with Alzheimers do in his free time?

Upvote the same fucking joke for the 5th time on r/jokes .

Why does Optimus Prime lead orchestras in his free time?

Because he is a semiconductor

Why do Assembly programmers have so much free time at school?

They can't have any classes.

With all this free time, I may finally look into scientology...

...see what all the hubbard is about

I like to help blind kids in my free time.

I used to use bleach but now I find a good old fashioned eye gouge is just as effective.

Girl: What do you like to do in your free time?

Guy: I spy on people.

Girl: Really? I like to take long walks in the park and go to the movies with my friends.

Guy: I know.

In my free time I help blind children

I usually find throwing pencils is the most efficient method

I told someone that I liked lollygagging in my free time at work.

There are FBI agents outside. Please send help.

What did the spider do during its free time?

It surfed the web

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does a hipster Jew do in his free time?

He brews.

What do cats listen to during their free time?

they listen to podcats.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blonde, brunette, and redhead mom go to a cafe....

They had each stolen their daughters purses to see what their girls did in their free time.

The redhead mom opens her daughters purse first and finds a pack of cigarettes. “Oh my God, Debbie smokes! I am going to kill her!”

The brunette mom opens her daughter’s purse second, holding ...

I wonder what my grandfather used to do on his free time.

There was no tv, no internet...
Probably should ask one of my ten uncles.

How do terrorist surfers spend free time at Guantanamo Bay?

WATERBOARDING!!!

Did you hear about the fat guy who spent his free time in a British casino?

He heard it was a fast way to lose pounds.

The year is 1804 and a young man enlists on a ship..

..his first voyage is to last 3 years, and even though the work is hard the young man takes to it like a fish in water.

After only a few days he is running the riggin like an old hand, he swabs the decks without complaint and spends his free time in amicable companionship playing cards or tel...

The Pope is saddend that he never sees much of the countries he visits and decides it's time for a change

After a visit to Berlin, the Pope decides he wants to travel to Rome by car. Off course, he didn't bring a car and so the German government seizes the opportunity to impress him with German engineering. They lend him the most powerful car they have available, with a German driver/bodyguard. And off ...

Private Jones goes to SHAPE

While working a NATO conference at the Supreme Headquarters Allied Powers Europe, Private Jones, of the US Army had some free time. So he found his way to the closest pub, and finding all the bar stools taken, he asks to sit down at a table filled with 3 older gentleman wearing uniforms.

A b...

A psychiatrist decides to visit a psychiatric hospital

He is curious what the psychiatric patients do in their free time. He enters the recreational area and sees that the patients have set up a table as a stage. One by one, the patients climb up and say a number. The audience laughs each time.

The psychiatrist is confused, so he asks one of the ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was on a ship that sunk, and after floating for days he washed up on a deserted island....

He was stranded for many years on this island, but fortunately food was easy to come by. Fruits and vegetables grew abundantly all over the island, and the fish were so easy to catch it was almost like they *wanted* to be caught. Unfortunately, this meant that he had hours and hours of free time th...

Sunday off

Six girls, one guy, sailing a boat in the open ocean. Tragedy strikes, and the boat slowly starts to sink. None of the girls know how to swim and they desperately beg the guy to save them. The brawny guy indeed saves all of them.

They end up in a desert island, and wonder what they will do w...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.