Singapore’s education system be like

Memo to all students : In order to assure the highest levels
of quality work and productivity from students, it will be
our policy to keep all students well taught through our
program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (S.H.I.T.). We are
trying to give our students more S.H.I.T. than any...

During a business meeting yesterday, someone asked me about my background. So I told him about my education, career, family, hopes and dreams.

Turns out he was asking about what was behind me on our Zoom call.

There are only 2 things missing in Indian Education System:

(1) Education.
(2) System.

Education..

An international school teacher asks a question: "What's your own opinion on food scarcity in other countries?"

An African student: What's food?

A European student: What's scarcity?

An American student: What are 'other countries'?

A Chinese student: What's 'my own opinion...

I saw this crazy documentary put on by the department of education where they met and filmed a previously uncontacted tribe for the first time.

The first thing they told them is that their student loans are past due.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The sex education teacher at my local high school got fired.

He was teaching the students about ejaculation and it went right over their heads.

Today our leaders closed of the southern border preventing people from coming to our country for a better life a better education and much needed health care!

As a Canadian I am outraged!

Therapy for my dad is like education for developing nations

It will solve most of their problems

I saw something was both cringy and educational...

It should be on TedTok

A blonde gets a job as a physical education teacher of 16 year olds.

A blonde gets a job as a physical education teacher of 16 year olds.

She notices a boy at the end of the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun kicking a ball.

She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.

'You ok?' she says.

'Ye...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joke

Jeff and Tim were sitting at a bar drinking, and Jeff turned to Tim and said, “y’know i never got me a proper education. I think I’ll go down to the community college and sign up for some classes”.
So Jeff later that day went to the community college and spoke to a man and the man told him “I’ll ...

A Jewish father was quite troubled by his errant son’s behavior, and went to see the rabbi about it...

“I brought him up as a Jew, spent a small fortune on his education and almost as much on his bar mitzvah. Then he calls me to tell me he has decided to become a Christian! Rabbi, where did I go wrong?”

“Funny you should come to me,” said the rabbi. “Like you, I too brought my son up as a good...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There once was a wasp that lived in a jungle.

This was not your ordinary wasp though; he was smart, philosophical even. One day he finally got fed up with his repetitive, insignificant life and decided that he would leave his hive, his family, his entire close-knit wasp community and he would go out into the world and make something of himself,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sex education

“Three boys received their grades from their female sex education instructor. One got a D+, the second a D- and the third an F.

“One day we should get her for this,” said the first boy.

“I agree. We’ll grab her...” said the second.

“Yeah,” said the third. “And then we’ll kick he...

Which tree has the least amount of education?

A lemon tree

The American education system obviously listens to Pink Floyd…

…they've left those kids a loan.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Working for Her Majesty

Two blokes living in the Australian outback saw a couple of jobs advertised by the Queen of England. She was looking for footmen, to walk beside her carriage.

They applied and were very happy to be flown to London for an interview with Her Majesty.

She says to them "Because my footmen ...

I like my education just like my hot coffee

No ICE.

Where was the declaration of independent education signed?

At the bottom

Student: Can I borrow a pencil?

**Teacher:** I don't know, can you borrow a pencil?

**Student:** Aha, but I clearly meant to ask for permission. Since you and the rest of the class understood my intent perfectly well, and the word "may" to show permission is rapidly falling out of fashion, there is nothing wrong with asking...

We were fed lies by our education system saying that there are only four faces carved in Mount Rushmore.

How can they miss John Cena and The Rock.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lady, a guy and a lad and their love

There was this guy, mid to late twenties, black hair, just average next door type of guy. He's a honest worker who worked his way up in his job and makes a decent living for a man of his age. When he was a kid he was not extremely sharp and people would make fun of his stupidity. But he didn't care ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sexual Education

My parents used to tell me I'd go blind if I kept masturbating.
I wish I could see their faces now.

"Hey, our state was ranked as one of the 'Best States for Education!'"

"Really?"
"Yeah! We made it into the top 50."

Two mathematicians were having lunch at a diner and got into a rousing discussion about the state of mathematics education in the US.

The first mathematician insisted that the general American populace was woefully inadequate when it came to understanding even basic math, while the second felt the average person knew more than they were given credit. They made a friendly wager and agreed that the next time their waitress came by, ...

They say you can’t get a decent job without education.

But look at Albert Einstein – he was a drop-out and still ended up being the first man on the moon!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's strange to see Christians advocating abstinence only sex education...

According to their own religion, even abstinence isn't 100% effective.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I’m a special education teacher. We do a joke of the day. A student made this up and told the class: What did the 2 say to the 4?

You’re a cunt.

Still cracks me up whenever I think about riz

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A math professor, Dave, has a problem with his sink so he calls a plumber.

The plumber comes over and quickly fixes the sink. The professor is happy until he gets the bill. He tells the plumber, "How can you charge this much? This is half of my paycheck." But he pays it anyways.

The plumber tells him, "Hey, we are looking for more plumbers. You could become a plumbe...

Health Education

Appropriate analogy: “The curve is flattening so we can start lifting restrictions now” = “The parachute has slowed our rate of descent, so we can take it off now”.

There are two critical factors in the spread of Coronavirus. 1. How dense is the population. 2. How dense is the population.
...

Teachers from other countries make fun of the US education system

Sure, we don’t teach evolution everywhere, but I don’t see your countries volunteering to demonstrate natural selection in schools across the country.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two boys are in class during religious education.

The first boy gets so bored that he falls asleep. The teacher then asks the class, "who created the earth?"

The second boy pulls out a needle and jabs his friend in the arm. He wakes up, startled, and yells, "God Almighty!"

"Correct," says the teacher.

The boy eventually drifts ...

I offer my kids $500 for every A on their report card.It sends the message that education is a priority in our household.

And it costs me absolutely nothing since my kids aren't that bright.

Separate but equal is a terrible policy for education..

But perfect for eyebrows!

Where do pirates get their education?

Boarding school

Me and a homeschooler got into an argument about the education system.

He went on a rant about how education in America is broken and asked me, "who's running the education system?"

"Your mom," I replied.

A guy was buying mangoes at a junction from a street vendor and while waiting for his change he saw an old woman and a little girl.

The little girl was walking a bit faster than the old woman which made the old woman shouting; " Degree wait for me". The guy was astonished after hearing such an unusual name. So to satisfy his curiosity he walked closer to the old woman and asked; "Mam, why do you call your granddaughter Degree?" ...

The Department is Education is canceling $150 million in student loans.

Those are a lucky 4 people.

Do you know the difference between education and experience?

Education is when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don’t.

I use to support higher spending on education. But then I learned a harsh truth. No matter how smart we we make children,

50% of them will still be below average.

An uneducated father with his educated son

An uneducated father with his educated son went on a camping trip. They set-up their tent and fell asleep.
Some hours later, the father woke up his son.
Father- Look up to the sky and tell me what you see.
Son- I see millions of stars.
Father- And what does that tell you?
Son- Astrono...

I am 100% behind Christianity and Biblical study being a part of the American education system

This way, we will have a steady production of atheists.

A large study shows that educational achievement and earned income strongly correlated with height.

A study carried out among hundreds of elementary school classes showed the tallest person in the room almost always had the highest income and education level.

A man was fresh out of accounting school and went to an interview for a good paying job. The company boss asked various questions about him and his education, but then asked him: “What is three times seven?”

“Twenty-two,” the man replied.

After he left, he double-checked it on his calculator and realised he wouldn’t get the job.

About two weeks later, he got a letter that said he was hired for the job! He was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but was still very curious. The next d...

I asked my Canadian friend what he thought was different between a Canadian and American education:

The education is much better in Canada because everyone gets straight EHs.

I was doing well in Physical Education class until we got to the skiing unit.

It was downhill from there.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

As a sex education teacher, I know that the semen in the average male ejaculation has about 20 calories.

But I tell my daughter that there are 350 calories in it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff.

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff. He thinks he's smarter being a big shot lawyer from New York and has a better education than an sheriff from West Virginia. The sheriff asks for license and registration. The lawyer asks, "What for?" The sheriff responds, "You didn't come ...

I read the other day that Penn State has spent $237 million defending the university during the Sandusky lawsuit. Think of how many peoples’ education that would pay for.

At least 4 or 5.

Yale educated

The bank manager noticed the new clerk was not good at counting money and adding up figures.


"Where did you get your financial education?" he asked.


"Yale," replied the lad.


"And what's your name?" barked the manager.


"Yim Yohnston," he replied...

-Mr. Johnson this looks great. Your educational is just spot on. You have decent career for this job. And you values seem to alike with our corporation. Lastly i wanna ask, what are some of you weaknesses?

-I am hard boiled liar.

With all the tax dollars weed sales in Colorado is raising for education...

Those schools are going to be dope.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An education is important

But having a big dick is importanter

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why don't they teach sex education and driver education on the same day in the Middle East?

Doing so would be far too exhausting for the camel.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Vikings were the ones that took it upon themselves to spread sexual education to the world around them

*Even if it had to be mandatory*




Which kinda made it a constant pain in the ass

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

ENOUGH WITH THE FUCKING JOKES ABOUT ALABAMA!

They're 50th in education, they can't even read that shit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A redneck decides to get an education.

He goes in to see the counselor, who tells him to take Math, History, and Logic.

"What's Logic?" he asks.

The professor answers by saying, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weedeater?"

"I sure do."

"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied th...

"We don't need no education."

Yes, you do. You just used a double negative.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was in sex education class ..

...when the teacher pointed at the diagram and asked, "What is this called?"

I put my hand up and answered, "That's a pussy, Miss Stevens."

She rolled her eyes, and replied, "Give me a medical term, please."

"Oh, sorry," I replied. "That's a pussy, Doctor Stevens."

A couple who work in the circus go to an adoption agency.

Social workers there raise doubts about their suitability.
The couple produce photos of their 50 ft motorhome, which is equipped with a beautiful nursery.
The social workers then are doubtful about the education that the child would get.
"We've arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach...

Did you know that Al Gore founded an educational program that uses music to teach math?

It's called "Al Gore Rythms"

At a religious education lesson, the teacher asks Johnny "What is red, has a tail and lives in a forest?"

Johnny replies "I'd say that it's a fox, but knowing those lessons, I think the answer is Jesus."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Apparently there's a lack of sex education being taught in school

Which is why I'm glad the Catholic church has taken matters into their own hands.

Actual conversation today. My wife: "i'm tired of anaesthesiology. What other area of medicine should I try?"

Me: I don't know. Emerg?
Wife: Nah, I want something lower stress. Hey, what about sleep medicine?
Me: Sleep medicine?
Wife: Like, helping people with sleep disorders and such. I wonder what sort of education i'd need?
Me: Probably night school.

I told my son to get an education.

He said, "I won't."

I said, "Why?"

He said, "Cause you got one and now you're married with five kids."

Alabama isn't upset in the least that the state is ranked dead last for education because . . .

. . . they can't read the rankings anyway.

Some people are upset that Profesional athletes get payed so much

But really it makes sense.

After a few years of training an athlete is playing professionally.

After more than a decade of work and education most doctors are still practicing.

A joke I've picked up from working in Higher Education.

At a small university there is the director of the Sociology program, the director of the Religious Studies program, the director of the Anthropology program and the university president. All four of them are heading to a conference in the next town over. The directors all decide to carpool, and the...

A dying wish

A man spoke to each of his three sons when he sent them to college. "I feel it's my duty to provide you with the best possible education, and you do not owe me anything for that. However, I want you to appreciate it. As a gesture of appreciation, please each put $1,000 into my coffin when I ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Pope and R. Kelly die on the same day

Due to a minor mix up, the Pope is sent to hell and R. Kelly is sent to heaven.

Unfortunately, St. Peter tells the men he won't be able to get the issue sorted out until the next day, meaning that both men have to spend the night in their respective places.

The next day after the issu...

From what I've learnt during my education about European countries, Switzerland seems like a great place

The best part about it is its flag. It's a big plus

What did the special education teacher say to one of their students that was late?

You’re tardy!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An engineering professor and his students are offered a free airplane ticket for an educational trip

Once they get on the plane the captain announces that the plane has in fact been built by the engineering students and that this is the first test ride.

Everyone rushes off the plane while the professor remains calm in his seat.

A flight attendant then approaches the professor and asks...

Education nominee Betsy DeVos wins Senate confirmation vote

I kept seeing this in r/news, but I was sure it belonged here......

"Y'know with all the civil unrest, political corruption, class divides, drug smuggling, gang wars, police brutality, gun violence, and poor education maybe building a wall to protect us from our southern neighbors isn't such a bad idea"

\- Canada

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.