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A school bus full of Catholic girls drives off a cliff and they all die.

A bus filled with 18 year old sheltered Catholic school girls drove off a cliff and they all died. So they all form a single file line in front of the gates of heaven and saint Peter says to the first girl "have you ever touched a man's penis?" And the girl says "yes but just with the tip of my fing...

Kim Jong-Un walks into a school in North Korea.

He asks a student "Who is your father?

The student replies "The Supreme Leader, infinite in wisdom and kindness, provider and protector of the Koreans, he is our only father."

Kim Jong beams. "Excellent. Now tell me who is your mother?"

The student doesn't hesitate. "The Land of...

What’s the difference between a Pakistani elementary school and an Al-qaeda outpost?

I dunno man I just fly the drone.

I never get school shooting jokes.

Maybe they're aimed at a younger audience.

A girl tells her mother after school ‘Mum, I got a gold star today for reciting the whole alphabet! The rest of my class only knows 3 or 4 letters!

‘Well done darling’ the girl’s mother replies. ‘That’s because you’re blonde.’
After returning from school the next day the girl tells her mother ‘I am the smartest student in my maths class! I can count up to 15! Everyone else stopped at about 5’
‘Well done’ replies the mother again. ‘That’s ...

The school phoned me today and said, "Your son's has been telling lies." I said,

"Tell him, he's bloody good. I don't have any kids”

A guy asks a girl to the school dance

A guy asks a girl to go to a dance. She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally he gets his suit.

He decides to buy flowers, so he goes to the flower shop. The flower shop has a long line, so he waits and waits, until he finally bu...

What's the difference between a School bus and a pineapple?

The little pricks are on the outside of the pineapple!

A retired man purchased a home near a high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace, then the new school year began...

...One afternoon early into the first semester, three loud young boys came down his street, beating merrily on every bin they came across. They then did so the following day and the day after that, until finally the retiree decided it was time to take some action.

The next afternoon, he walke...

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There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a national icon and symbol of American strength.

News began to circulate of a Russian wrestler who was fierce and unstoppable. As each wrestlers legends grew, a match was set up between the two, America versus Russia. The match would be held in Texas.

John began training immediately. Every day his coach would tell him, “This Russ ...

One of my wife’s primary School’s student was wearing a Fitbit watch

One of my wife’s primary School’s student was wearing a Fitbit watch, which prompted my wife to ask, “Are you tracking your steps?” “No,” said the little girl. “I wear this for Mum so she can show Dad when he gets home.”

I was rejected from my dream art school because I used the wrong pencil.

It wasn’t 2B.

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One day in a school

the teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.  

Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad’s farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”  

The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not ‘fa...

A student was standing at the edge of the roof of his school and was about jump off and commit suicide.

Suddenly from the school grounds his physics teacher yells to him, "Don't jump, you've got lots of potential!"

I was surprised when I discovered my roommate was stealing from driving school

But to be honest I should have seen all the signs

Little Susie came home from school and told her mum the boys kept asking her to do cartwheels

"you should tell them No, they only want to see your knickers" said her mum

"I know that, that's why I hide them in my bag"

Is it okay to start drinking when the kids get to school

or does that make me a bad teacher?

Three "facts" school taught me that turned out to be false

1. Pluto is a planet
2. You won't always have a calculator in your pocket
3. Girls don't like having their hair pulled

What do you call a person who finishes last in medical school?

Hopefully not my doctor

A school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport

A school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, an ancient wooden device called a "slide-rule"  as well as a code device called an "abacus" that he claimed was a calculator....

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my school held a seminar on holding orgasms.

nobody came.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's ok he woke up.

A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.

The fairy says "I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day."

The professor says "I'll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?" so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the ki...

When does a pirate finish pirate school?

At the end of the yar

Little Johnny took a leak with his classmate in the school loo.

His classmate noticed that after peeing, Johnny didn't wash his hands. He then proceeded to ask:

"Johnny, why do you not wash your hands after peeing?"

"Is there a need to do so?"

"Yes! My mum taught me to wash after peeing, to wash off pee in my hands."

"Well, I ...

Why Don't Communists Like School?

Because they have always get bad Marx.

School days...

Teacher: If income tax is 20% and your dad earns $50,000, how much tax does he pay?

Kid: $100

Teacher: Let's try again. If income tax is 30% and your dad earns $100000, how much does he pay?

Kid: $100

Teacher: Alright, last try. If income tax is %50 and your dad earns $10...

At school one day, a bully told me I had a face only a mother could love.

I went home and found out I was adopted.

Teacher : Why didn’t you come to school yesterday?

Me : I’m sorry, my dad’s in the hospital

(One week later)

Teacher: Is your dad still in the hospital?

Me : Yeah, he’s a doctor.

Why was the Lemon sent to detention after school.

It was always tarty.

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Catholic school is like a game of chess.

You don’t want to end up with the bishop in your ass.

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A group of primary school kids, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to Randwick races to see and learn about thoroughbred horses.

When it was time to take the children to the toilet, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.
The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's toilet when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the uri...

After hearing the story of Jonah at Sunday School, a little girl repeated the story at school on Monday.

Her teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because, even though it is a very large mammal, its throat is very small.

The little girl said, "But how can that be? Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not sw...

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An elementary school teacher was handing out samples of deer jerky to anyone who wanted to try it.

It was part of the lesson about pioneer days and she hadn't yet told them what kind of meat it was.


She was giving clues to help the students. "I'm sure all of you have seen one as there are a lot of them around here". No response.

"The males often clash to prove who is toughest". ...

"Mommy, mommy! Suzy at school was showing the boys her knickers for a penny."

*Oh my goodness, my son. What did you do?*

"I came straight home, of course!"

*That's my good boy.*

"Mom?"

*Yes, my son?*

"May I please have a penny?"

I was dismayed this afternoon when my wife told me my 6 year old son wasn't actually mine.

She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.

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My grandpa told me, "All you kids do these days is play video games."

"When I was your age", he continued, "my buddies and I went to Paris; we went to the Moulin Rouge and I fucked a dancer on stage, we didn't pay for our drinks all night and when the bartender complained we pissed on him”

The grandson thinks his grandfather is right. He goes to Paris and the M...

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Not to brag, but I did a lot of experiments with sex and drugs when I was in high school.

Unfortunately I was part of the control group.

The nun teaching Sunday School was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question: "When you die and go to Heaven... which part of your body goes first?"

Suzy raised her hand and said "I think it's your hands.” "Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?" Suzy replied "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first.” “What a wonderful answer!" the nun said.

Little Johnny raised his hand and...

One day, Johnny comes home from school and asks his mother, "Mommy, how was I born?"

"The stork brought you here," says the mother.

"And how were my brother Joel and my sister Emily born?"

"The stork brought them, too."

"And how were you born?"

"The stork also brought me."

"Did the stork also bring Uncle George and Aunt Ruth and Cousin Evan and Cou...

What school of magic does a Giraffe practice?

Neckromancy

Why did the Skittles go to school?

*They wanted to become Smarties*

I asked out my crush in school today

Now I gotta look for a new job

Little Johnny is on recess playing on the playground when he see his dad drive into the woods next to the school.

Curious as to what his dad's doing, little Johnny decided to skip school to see what was going on.

When he gets to the woods he finds his dad there with his aunt Jenny. Well aunt Jenny is on her knees helping Johnny's dad relieve himself.

After school little Johnny runs home to tell ...

I asked a girl from my school out for a date; she only responded with a comment about our classes schedules

something about not having Chemistry together

I learned how to meditate from my school teacher. She would say to me...

..."SHUT UP, STAY STILL AND JUST BE QUIET!!!

A student is eating school lunch

Student: Teacher, my peas are too hard
The teacher walks over and puts some in her mouth
“Those weren’t very hard, why did you call me over?”

“They better not have been, I’ve been chewing them for ten minutes!”

I watched a movie called "The Adjustment," about a Chiropractor who quits, goes back to school and becomes an famous Orthopedic Spine Surgeon. I didn't really like it.

Too much backstory.

An engineer accidentally gave a medical school exam. See his answers:

1. Antibody - One who hates his body .

2. Artery - Study of Fine Paintings or military, not sure.

3. Bacteria - Back door of a Cafeteria .

4. Coma - Punctuation Mark .

5. Gall Bladder - Bladder of a Girl .

6. Genes - Blue Denim.

7. Labour Pain - Hurt at Work...

"Mom, mom!! At the school they're calling me Mafioso!!"

"Don't worry my little son, tomorrow mom goes to the school to put an end to this"

"Thanks mom!!! But please make like it was an accident"

One day while returning from school a 8 year old child ...

One day while returning from school a 8 year old child met a Saint and had a conversation with him.

The Saint became so happy with the child that he gave him a magic sentence which will fulfill all his wishes.

"I know everything"

However, he warned him to not use the Sentence m...

When I graduated high school, my parents enrolled me in medical research

It was a 4-year study of sleep deprivation and alcohol consumption.

Sure, they called it "college", but I knew otherwise.

At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.”

Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.”

Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “...

A farm boy arrives late for school one day.

"Why are you late?" asks the teacher.

"I had to take the bull down to the field to mate with the cow," explains the boy.

"Couldn't your dad have done that?" asks the teacher.

"He could have," replies the boy. "But I think the bull did a better job than he would have done."

Alice was leaving school when a boy from her class bet her $5 that she couldn’t climb up the school’s flagpole

She did, slid down, collected her $5 and went home.
When she walked into the kitchen to tell her mom, her mom said “Oh, sweetie. He just wanted to look up your skirt and see your panties.”

The following day, the same boy bet her $10 that she couldn’t do it faster than she did the da...

Little Johnny is in school and they have show and tell.

The teacher asks the class to tell about something that happened in their family recently. When it is Johnny's turn. he walks to the board and draws two periods ". ." The teacher asks him to explain. He says"My sister missed these and my parents are real upset."

Did you hear about how underfunded the dog schools are?

They only teach K-9.

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When I was in school, my mate got caught having a wank in the showers.

Really ruined the trip to Auschwitz.

Credit: Jimmy Carr

My school had a mental health fair

But I didn’t have any to give, so I didn’t bother going.

When Kermit the Frogs entertainment career came to an end, he enrolled in seminary school where he was ordained

Now he's a Pastor of Muppets

Placing three armed veterans in each school will stop school shootings

The shooter will see people with three arms and freak out.

Why are socialist school teachers so disorganized?

Because they love to see the class struggle.

All the teachers in my school were great. Apart from one. She hated girls. What was her name?

Miss Ogyny

In school, you learn about spies

In soviet Russia, spies learn about you!

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I am trying to remember a very long joke my high school physics teacher told me.

First off I know there’s TOMT for things like this, however since this is a joke I figure it gets pretty hard to track these sorts of things down. I remember the jist and punchline of this joke, however I also remember it having a very long and intricate setup, so long I remember getting pretty bore...

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There was a school where every morning...

... when the teachers entered the classrooms, at 8:00 sharp, they would say "Good morning! " and all the kids, in one voice answered "GOOD MORNING!".

Next to the school was a retirement home and the school's morning routine started to annoy the residents. Few old people got together, went to ...

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I was desperate and I couldn't get a date with a girl to save my life until...

I swiped right on a blind date, a profile picture. She asked me to pick her up, so i did, but I wasn't expecting much. I went up to the door expecting 400 lbs of desperation, but she answer the door 5 foot 2 with baby blue eyes, strawberry blonde curls and all the right curves in all the right place...

Four buddies caught up for coffee many years after high school. Each bragging to the other how successful and wealthy they’ve become.

The first guy said, “See that bank building across the street? I am going to buy it within the next six months.”

The second guy then said, “See that hotel building next to the bank? I am going to buy it within the next month.”

Not wanting to lose out, the third guy quickly said, “See t...

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A teacher asked a first grader, why he brought a cat to school?!

He said:”It’s my moms cat, I saved it’s life!”

“How is that?”asked the teacher

“I overheard daddy tell mommy he’s going to eat her pussy after me and my sister leave for school!”

I failed math so many times in school

I can't even count.

What is it called when the leader of soviet Russia graduates a high school?

Stalingrad

My Dad is from the old school,

......where you keep your money under the mattress–only he kept his in the underwear drawer. One day I bought my dad an unusual personal safe–a can of spray paint with a false bottom–so he could keep his money in the workshop. Later I asked Mom if he was using it.
“Oh, yes,” she replied, “he put...

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My high school was so small..

we had Driver’s Ed and Sex Ed in the same car!

What is the difference between an ISIS boot camp and a local school?

How should I know? I just fly the drones.

Whats the diffence between school and hell

Hell has good heating.

Ah,school stuff

Teacher: Do you know the answer to question *B*?
Student: No.
Teacher: You need to spend more time studying.
Student: Well, do you know Sophie?
Teacher: No, why?
Student: **You need to spend more time with your husband.**

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A school hires a new Spanish teacher fresh out of college.

On her first day, the principal decides to sit in the class and observe, and he sits down next to Little Johnny. The teacher writes a sentence in Spanish on the board. Midway through the sentence she drops the marker and bends down to pick it up. As she straightens and finishes the sentence she asks...

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Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!"

"But why, Mom? I don't want to go." 
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go." 
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!" 
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready." 
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school." 
"...

How many nursing school professors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in and the other to tell him while that is correct, it isn't the most correct.

When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation said she was a school teacher.

The judge rose from the bench.
“Madam, I have waited years for a school teacher to appear before this court," he smiled with delight.
“Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not pass through a red light' five hundred times!"

Josey wasn't the best Sunday School student.

She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question.

"Who is the creator of the universe?"

Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with his pencil to wake her up. Josey jumped and yelled, "God almighty!" The teacher congratulated h...

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Little Teddy’s doing very poorly in math, so his parents enroll him in Catholic school.

The first day home from St. Michael’s, he walks straight to his room to do his math homework. After dinner Teddy marches back upstairs and starts calculating again.

 

His mother visits his room and says, “You’re working awfully hard!”

 

“Well,” Teddy replies, “today when ...

I failed my medical school entrance exam because of nerves.

The correct answer was blood vessels.

After I got my school photo taken, I told them I only wanted the one poster sized print developed.

They asked, “Are you sure you wouldn’t be interested in exploring some of the packages with wallet and postcard sizes with multiple...”

I had to cut them off and let them know that, “I’m really just a big picture person.”

Where do the Sith hang out after school?

The Darth Mall.

Timmy comes home from school and notices a note on the table.

"We are going to the grave yard." - Love, Grandma

Next to it is another one that reads:

"We will come back." - Grandpa

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What does a brothel and the American school system have in common?

The workers are under paid, the building probably isn’t up to code and you’re likely to leave thoroughly fucked.

Little Johnny's school is having a day where they honor the military, and Johnny's class is going through a worksheet.

They go through the answers to the final question,

"What are things that a teacher and a soilder can say?"

The teacher picks Caitlyn first for an answer.

Caitlyn says, "Today, we are going to learn how to fly drones!"

The teacher responds, "Excellent! Drones allow soldie...

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Teacher says, “The president is coming to school! Now listen,

He’s a very powerful man and he must be respected.

When he gets out of his car everybody cheer.

When he walks up the steps shout, ‘again! again!again!’.

Finally, when he’s in the classroom chant his name”.

The president gets out of the car and steps on shit.

*Ever...

My uncle picked me up from school during recess today!

My mom never told me about him, but it's nice to finally meet him!

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A High School English Teacher reminds her class of the next day's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or illness, or a death in the student's immediate family.

One smart-ass jock in the back of the room asks, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Aw, that's so sad. Guess yo...

What do Tv and American schools have in common?

there weren't any colours until the 60s

I asked my daughter if she’d seen my newspaper. She told me that newspapers are old school. She said that people use tablets nowadays and handed me her iPad.

That fly didn’t stand a chance.

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A boy is being bullied in school [very long]

And the bullies call him and his friends "bitches and bastards". When the boy gets home, he asks his parents what "bitches and bastards are". His dad blushes, and says, "Well, they're just ladies and gentlemen".

Later, his parents are talking, and the boy overhears his dad say "condom". "Dad...

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High School Reunion

I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma, which showed is full name.

Suddenly I remembered a tall, handsome dark-haired boy with the same name who had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago. Could this be the same g...

I went to high school with a kid names Stains

The class wouldn’t stop laughing when the teacher said “Come Stains, in my office”

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Little Johnny was sent home early from school one day.

His Dad seeing him walk into the house was visibly confused and asked Little Johnny why he was sent home.


"I failed my math test" he told his Dad.


"How!? We been studying all week for that stupid thing!" his dad replied angerly.


"First the teacher asked me 'What is ...

My Grandparents are old school conservative

My wife and I went to stay with them so they demanded I share a bad with my grandfather and my wife would share a bed when my grandmother.

In the middle of the night my grandad shakes me awake and I ask "what's wrong?"

He says to me "I'm going down to service your grandmother and I'll ...

April 4th National School Librarian Day

I asked the librarian if she would direct me to the self-help books.
She said, “that sort of defeats the purpose doesn’t it?”

"I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45 am.

The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to spare.

As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the ...

I think I’m gonna go to school to become an elevator mechanic...

...although I’ve heard the job has some serious ups and downs.

Today I found out that it takes a school of piranha 1 minute to devour a child.

However, I have now lost my job in the aquarium.

Why is the average American so stupid?

Because they keep shooting the ones that go to school...

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My kid got sent home from school one day.

They said he was catching bees and throwing them at other kids. So I sat him down and had a chat. I said, "Son, you can't be doing that, obviously it's not ok to throw bees at people, they could get stung and what happens if someone has an allergic reaction? How would you feel if that happened?" A...

Why did the one eyed headmaster close down his school....

Because he only had one pupil

When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school.

At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters

'PNEIS'

and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.

Those who answered 'SPINE' are doctors today while rest are on Reddit.

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Little Johnny comes home from Sunday school.

His father asks him what they were talking about. "Exodus" he answers. "Oh, and what did you learn?" inquires father. "Well, you see Moses was leading his people out of Egypt and they came to the Red Sea. To get across Moses picks up his radio and calls for engineers. They quickly build pontoon brid...

Father to his young son: You should be ashamed. When Abraham Lincoln was your age, he used to walk ten miles every day to get to school.

Son responds: Really? Well, when he was your age, he was president.

Trump visits an elementary school

Trump visits an elementary school to greet the students and teachers. He asks the students, “what do you all want to be when you grow up?”

“A farmer,” shouts one.

“An astronaut,” shouts another.

“The President of the United States,” confidently says a little girl.

“Who sa...

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What is Democracy? A boy is asked at school as homework.

So the little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is democracy?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalist. Your Mom spends the money, so we'll call her the Government. Nanny is working at home for money, she's the w...

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One day, a boy comes home from school and sees his dad on the porch drinking a whiskey.

The boy says: hey dad can I try some of that?
Dad replies: can your dick touch your asshole?
Boy says: no
Dad says: well then, you can’t have any

Next day, the boy comes home and sees his dad smoking a cigar on the porch.

The boy says: hey dad can I try some of that?
Da...

Why is the National Rifle Association filing for bankruptcy?

Because schools are closed.

My high school crush came to my work today and I fingered her. (NSFW)

Sometimes being a mortician is awesome.

An Irish fellow in New York turns to the gentleman next to him....

“Well hey there friend! Where do ya hail from?”

“I’m from Ireland.”

“No kidding! I’m from Ireland myself! What part of Ireland?”

“Grew up in Wexford.”

“Wexford?! No kidding! I grew up in Wexford myself!”

“Well what are the chances of that?! Say, what secondary scho...

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Colonel Isaev, a veteran of the Great Patriotic War, is invited to a school in Leningrad

He is telling the children about his days as a soldier in the Red Army and his war exploits. When he finishes, he asks the children if they have any questions.

Vovochka raises his hand, and the teacher tenses up.

"When I grow up, I want to be an intelligence officer and protect my Glor...

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High School Bully

The guy who picked on me all through high school and then became a millionaire just placed a delivery order at KFC.

Now I get the last laugh. I gave him original recipe and he ordered extra crispy. Checkmate Justin, you fucking loser

What will Dave Grohl say when his children start going back to school after the pandemic?

Walkin' to learn again....

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My school started teaching sex ed online.

Finally! All my years of online research can be put to good use.

My daughter asked why she can’t just quit school

I told her it’s against the law and they’ll put me in jail.

My sweet sweet child looked me in the eye, and said: “I'll visit you”.

Son: Hey Dad, I was outstanding at school today.

Dad: Good to hear that. What did you do?

Son: Our teacher caught me cheating on the quiz. She sent me out and ordered me to stand at the hallway

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Johnny has the day off from school and is bugging his mom

Johnny: mom, I'm bored I want to do something.

Mom: See those construction workers building that house across the street? Why don't you go over there and see what they are doing, maybe you'll learn something.

So Johnny does what his mom told him and spends all day across the street. He...

Kek day joke: What do you call the person who graduates medical school with the lowest GPA?

Doctor.

Little Billy came home from school to see the family's pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home, Billy mentioned: Dad, our rooster is dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs like that?

His father, thinking quickly, said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven." "Gee Dad, that's great," said little Billy.

A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad! Dad, we almost lost Mom t...

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Ivy League School Principal, Mr. Marquez, and Community College Principal, Mr. Davidson, were arguing that their respective students were the most fearless.

Ivy League school principal called his students and asked them to jump in sea full of sharks.

They jumped.

Principal said: “See the guts…”

Community College principal called his students and asked them to jump.

They said: "Have you completely lost your marbles, Mr. Davids...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When the new school year started, the history teacher was very excited because there were three Native American boys in her class.

She was beside herself with excitement. She asked the first boy to stand up and tell the class what tribe he is from and how he knows this.

The little boy stands up and proudly throws out his chest. He takes his fist and hits his chest, and says in a booming voice "I am a Cherokee. My father ...

My son is doing a social experiment for school.

He plans on wearing an "I love Liberals" shirt out in public and will be recording the interactions with others. So far he has been cussed at, spit at, slapped, and even threatened. Im afraid what will happen when he actually leaves the house.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

School pride

A woman goes to her doctor complaining of an odd rash on her chest in the shape of a "Y". Upon some further inquiry, the doctor discovers that the woman's husband went to Yale and likes to leave his school sweater on during sex and concludes that the fiction of the sweater is causing the reaction. T...

Why don’t pirates do very well in school?

They’re only used to high C’s

I was driving my son to pre-school and he was having fun making dinosaur sounds.

"ROAR!" he yelled.

"What dinosaur is that?" I asked.

"T Rex!"

Then he said, "HONK!"

"What dinosaur is that?" I asked with a chuckle.

"Triceratops," he said.

"Why does a Triceratops honk?"

And he said, "Because it has horns!"

I have an empty school hall for sale.

Assembly required.

A student got home from school and his mum asked him how the test went.

He said it was easy but one question held him up. The mother asked what the question was.
" They asked what the past tense of think was" the boy answered. "So what did you write?" the mother asked.

"I thought and thought and thought until I finally wrote thinked"! The boy replied.

My Sister always got bullied at school for being adopted.

Homeschooling for us was fun though

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

First year students at Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class

First year students at Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body.

They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered in a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine,it is necessary to have two important qu...

What’s the difference between school and prison?

In school your afraid of the work that’s hard. In prison your afraid of the inmates that are hard.

What is the favorite school of magic for cow wizards?

Moodoo

School report.

My teacher gave us an assignment to tell her our idols and then say what we would do if they walked in our house. I got off easy because I said Stephen Hawking.

i told my kids that at their age i had to watch VHS tapes on school safety

and they said: "what's school safety?"

Jack takes ball bearings to school

He gets bored during class, takes them out, and rolls them back and forth across his desk. A couple of them roll right off the desk, up the aisle between the desks, and right up to the teacher. She sees the ball bearings and realizes that someone has been playing instead of paying attention.

...

They say that going to school is important

but becoming a instagram model is importanter!

I had a teacher in high school, Ms Turtle.

She tortoise well.

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