Forgot Jokes - 105 Hilarious Forgot Jokes

If you can't think of a word, say "I forgot the English word for it."

That way people will think you're bilingual instead of an idiot.

Stupid joke my dad told me when I was a kid, never forgot it.

So, the story goes that there was this town that had a big red lever in the middle of the town square. The lever, if pulled, would destroy the world. Because of this the lever was heavily guarded at all times. Here is where we introduce a man in that town. His name was Nate. Nate grew up around that...

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A tattoo artist went to a coffee place and ordered coffee but forgot his wallet...

so he tells the woman at the counter that he can't pay for it. The woman gets angry at first and then asks "What can we do about this situation?" The tattoo artist says "Well I can give you a tattoo for free instead and we can call it even". The woman thinks for a while, reluctantly agrees to it and...

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A workman is 5 floors up at a construction site and realizes he forgot his hammer...

He leans over the edge of the building and sees his friend on the ground floor. He shouts down to him "Hey buddy I need my hammer." His friends looks up but motions to his ears that he can't hear him.

The workman, thinking quickly, decides to sign out what he wants. He points to his eye for "...

A man is at the checkout line of a supermarket when he realises he forgot to buy condoms

A man is at the checkout line of a supermarket when he realises he forgot to buy condoms.

When his turn arrives, he looks at the cashier and asks "I'm sorry, I forgot to buy condoms, can you ask someone to bring me a packet?"

"That's fine", she tells him, "what size do you need?". He'...

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almost forgot it was my cake day! here's my favorite joke. it's not about cake

On this farm, there's a cow, a chicken, and a horse, and the three of them are best friends.

They do just about everything together. And one day, they're sitting at the window of the house, and the farmer's kid is watching MTV, and they're watching it, and they hear the music, and the horse s...

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My girlfriend was angry after I forgot to buy tampons.

Apparently telling her to "go with the flow" wasn't a good response

Ah yes, I forgot it!

Sometimes I experience both amnesia and dejà vu at the same time, and I'm like:"Yep, I've forgotten this before ".

A soldier shows up for military training, but realizes he forgot to bring his gun.

The sergeant hands him a stick and gestures to the training field.

"You'll have to use this, soldier. If you need to shoot someone, just aim your stick at them and shout 'Bangity bang-bang'. If someone gets too close to you, poke them in the gut with it as though it was a bayonette and shout ...

I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today.

That's seven years in a row now.

I went for a run , but came home back after 2 minutes because I forgot something

I forgot that I was fat and couldn't run for more than 2 minutes.

Did you hear about they guy who forgot to take his homeopathic medicine?

He OD'd.

I went for a circumcision and the surgeon forgot his scalpel.

Still managed to pull it off though

My grandpa called to thank me, but forgot what for.

I said, "dementia it."

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There's boomers, millennials then GenZ so what's the next generation going to be?

Fucked.

I forgot to renew the fee for my Scrabble membership

Now they’re sending me threatening letters!

I thought I forgot how to use a boomerang

But it’s all coming back to me now.

My partner forgot to put broccoli in our salad.

I felt broccoli robbed.

If you smoke pot and forgot what day today is, don’t worry. You can celebrate again on the 25th of May.

Because 4/20 = 5/25

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A husband forgot to buy his wife a Christmas present...

So early on Christmas morning the man quietly gets up and rushes to Walgreens to find something.

In the store, he runs to the only worker and describes his situation. He wants to get his wife something quickly and get home before she wakes up and notices he’s gone.

The worker underst...

I went out partying and drinking last night, and I forgot to feed my pet rabbit.

I really let my hare down.

Just asked Siri.

"Surely it's not going to rain today?"

She said "it will, and don't call me Shirley"

...Forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode.

My girlfriend forgot my birthday.

"I lost track of days," she explained. "I blame my period."

"Oh c'mon," I scoffed, "how can you blame your period?"

And she responded, "Because during that time of the month, one day bleeds into the next."

I tried to come up with a pun for flour and sugar but I forgot.

I'll have to sift through my mind to find it.

I forgot how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 in Roman numerals.

I’M LIVID.

I forgot to bring the drinks to my senior prom. But hey, look at the bright side.

No punch line.

I said a prayer the other day but forgot to say the last bit.

It's ok though, amended it

What happened when Steve Irwin forgot to put on sunscreen?

He got hurt from harmful rays

I forgot my joke about a lollipop...

I swear it was on the tip of my tongue!

I forgot to pay the exorcist...

...so I got repossessed.

I forgot about Dre

I was supposed to pick him up at the airport.

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A waitress forgot to ask a customer how he wanted his steak cooked. She returns to the table and asks him. He replies, I like my steak like I like my sex!

So the waitress turns to the kitchen and shouts, "Very rare."

I totally forgot the Super Bowl was tonight!

Don't worry; so did the ~~Patriots~~ Falcons.

Bob forgot his wedding anniversary

His wife was mad. She told him “tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!!”

The next morning she saw a big gift wrapped box in the driveway. She rushed out, opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

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After Covid it seems everyone forgot this sexually transmitted disease with 100% mortality rate

Life

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A pilot accidentally left on the intercom and was heard saying, "I could really use a coffee and a blowjob"

A stewardess quickly ran towards the cockpit, and a passenger yelled out, "you forgot the coffee!"

Eta: Looks like Good Will Hunting made this joke popular.

I stopped my wife from waiving down our server at the Indian restaurant when they forgot the bread...

We got rice dishes so it was a naan-issue.

I forgot to shave my sundial yesterday...

..hence the five o'clock shadow

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Pizza guy: your total is $26.34

Me: I can't afford that

Pizza guy: well you're gonna have to pay some other way, then

Me: \[takes out wallet\] wait I forgot I had 30 bucks

Porn director: Cut, WTF?

So my friend forgot to bring the mayonnaise for the party tonight…

I was like, “What the Hellmann”

So I was visiting South Korea but I forgot my phone and I had no map.

It was a true Seoul searching journey.

I was getting the Xmas decorations down from the attic when i found a present i forgot to give last year.....

Shame, as the kids would have loved that puppy.

My girlfriend is so smart, she really surprises me!

I went golfing, and forgot to bring my phone, so I used my friend's phone to call her.

She answered: "What's up, honey?"

What a smart girl! She knew I was the one on the phone!

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I don't see why you would become an Islamic fundamentalist suicide bomber on the off chance that when you die you get 72 virgins.

Just become a Catholic priest and get them now.

I asked my grandpa: “ after 65 years you still call grandma darling, beautiful and honey. What’s the secret?”

Grandpa: “I forgot her name five years ago and I’m scared to ask her."

Interviewed for a job and they forgot to drug test me

Guess you could say I slipped through the crack

Forgot to bring my protein powder to the gym today

Guess I should've prepared whey in advance

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I forgot why I decided to jerk off into the fan...

But it's all cumming back to me.

I forgot the gaeilge for weather

Aimsir it'll come back to me

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I never forgot the last words grampa said to me

"Stop shaking the ladder you stupid cunt!"

When the Mexican guy forgot his ticket to the water park, the employee let him in anyway

“Typically I’m a stickler about this sort of thing,” he remarked “But I’m gonna let this Juan slide.”

I bought minced meat but forgot to pay the butcher

He now has a beef with me

A man forgot to zip his trousers...

so a lady told him politely...

“Sir your garage is open.”

The man gave her a naughty smile and zipped his trousers and asked..

“Did you see my Range Rover parked inside?”

The lady smiled back and said..

“No, just one small Toyota with two flat tires.”

I forgot the Netflix password.

Who here remembers it?

Castro joke I got from Cuban family members

Fidel Castro dies and because he thinks he is so great he goes to heaven. Once past the gates though, Saint Peter stops him and throws him out being the the watchful eye he is. In hell, the devil meets castro and gives him a warm welcome and tells his demons to get Castro's bags and bring them to hi...

This is a Mean joke.

A physicist, an engineer, and a statistician go on a hunting trip, they are walking through the woods when they spot a deer in a clearing. The physicist calculates the distance of the target, the velocity and drop of the bullet, adjusts his rifle and fires, missing the deer 5 feet to the left. The e...

My husband: I forgot how to spell briefly

Me: do you remember how to spell now?

Today I totally forgot the name of Kim Kardashian’s ex-husband…

Today I totally forgot the name of Kim Kardashian’s ex-husband…

but then it donda me.

I forgot my date’s name...

...who knew fruit could be so difficult?

I forgot my phone when I went to the toilet this morning.

We have 368 tiles.

Forgot Password?

Many years ago I was acting as the system administrator for a test system in a large publicly held company.

Periodically I would receive a call from someone who had not accessed the system recently, forgot their password and locked themselves out trying to logon. I would look up thei...

What! You forgot your wife's birthday?

"What! You forgot your wife's birthday?"

"Yes, I did."

"What did she say?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?".

"That's right. Nothing. For three weeks."

I almost forgot what this Friday is (Good Friday).

My mom would be so disappointed... she’d crucify me.

I went Chopin but I forgot my Liszt

So I'll go Bach home

Jonathon Ross forgot to record the new Star Wars film...

What a wookie mistake

What happened to the intern electrician after accidentally shocking himself bc he forgot to wear PPE?

He was grounded.

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Bob forgot his wife's anniversary

His wife is pissed as hell. She is so pissed, in fact, that she says, "I want to see something that goes from 0 to 200 in 60 seconds or I'M LEAVING YOU!!!" She runs off to go to work.

Bob is extremely worried. His family didn't have that much money in it anyway because they were in great ...

Whoops, almost forgot to bring my llamas

Alpaca pair

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A king summons three of his most loyal subjects to a meeting

The king looks at the first man, who was named Rand.

"Rand, kiss my hand!" he orders.

Rand obeys him and kisses his hand. The king looks at the second subject, who was called Lee.

"Lee, kiss my knee!"

Lee obeys and kisses his king's knee. The king turns in the direction o...

What do you call Post Malone after he forgot his phone overseas?

Post Ma Phone

I forgot to weed my garden.

The plot thickens

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Pavlov walks into a bar

He orders a pint and sits at a table sipping his beer.

Suddenly the phone rings.
"Oh shit!" Pavlov exclaims, jumping up to his feet. "I forgot to feed the dogs!"

Do you know the story about the guy that everyone forgot about?

Me neither

I forgot to save my new book, “1000 Ways to Cure an Itch” before my computer died.

Guess I’m starting again from scratch.

My father and I were leaving our hotel in Iraq and he almost forgot his suitcase.

I said, "Don't forget your Baghdad".

(Hopefully it isn't a repost)

A blonde forgot car keys in the car.

A few hours later she was rescued by her husband who got her out of the car.

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My penis fell off and I forgot how to attach it.

But then I remembered.

I forgot to tell you that you will die today

A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."

The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then...

My mom's sister was telling me she forgot a bunch of basic math...

Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally

I did get divorced last week because my wife forgot my birthday

But that wasn't everything: My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday.

As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!"

I felt so special.

She asked me out for lunch.

After lunch, s...

I forgot - what's the name of that two-faced villain, something "dent"?

Never mind, I was able to remember. It is President.

I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from?

Then it dawned on me.

A woman goes on a business trip overseas, leaving her husband behind to look after the house and kids.

After a few days she calls up to see how everything is.

"Everything's fine" he says. "The kids are finally sleeping OK without you here, and my boss has given me an extra week off until you're back. Oh! I forgot to say, the cat's dead! She was hit by a car!"

"What!?" Says the wife. "A...

What is your favorite Norm Macdonald joke/lune

"You,re the first defensive player ever to win the Heisman trophy, and no one can take that away from you."

"....Unless, of course, you kill your wife and a waiter"

If you see your joke, by all means comment, but don't repeat it, find another -he has thousands and thousands - I ...

I forgot to pay my colonoscopy bill.

Now I’m in arrears.

I forgot I marinated the beef 3 days ago.

I think I put more thyme in it than I should.

A husband forgot his wife's anniversary...

So a husband forgot that today was his anniversary, and naturally, his wife was upset and mad at him. The wife then gave him an ultimatum. "If I dont see something chrome plated that can go 0-100 in less than 5 seconds in the garage by tomorrow morning, the neighbors will see you walking away from t...

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My boss called this morning and shouted,

“Where the fuck are you? It’s 8:30 and you were supposed to start at 8.”

“Relax, I’m in my office.” I replied.

“Quit the shit!” he roared. “I’m standing in your office.”

So I went, “Oh, sorry mate, I forgot to tell you about my new job.”

Shoot! I forgot to vote...

If only the internet would have reminded me.

I forgot to visit my depressed girlfriend

I kind of left her hanging

I forgot one of my daughter's birthday presents in the closet....

After six weeks, that pony really began to reek....

I was gonna tell a joke about Electricity,

But I forgot Watt it was.

I forgot how much I hated Nickelback until you blasted their song on the radio...

And this is how you remind me?!!!

Instead of water, I put redbull in the the back of my coffee maker this morning

I was halfway to work before I realized I forgot my car.

My wife was annoyed that I forgot to get bread at the Indian grocery store

I'm not sure what she's so mad about. I see this as a naan-issue.

I failed my Shakespeare test because I forgot to study and I used the wrong pencil.

I couldn't tell whether it was 2B or not 2B.

Forgot my pot in my pants and put it through the dryer

Now I have some tumbleweed

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Forgot the tree this year, so I'm putting up a 6 foot, tinsel covered Tampon.

Just for the festive period.

One day, a husband telephones his wife, but his daughter answers.

"Hello!"

"Hey honey, this is daddy. Is mommy near the phone?"

"No daddy, she's upstairs jn the bedroom with uncle Jake."

"But you don't have an uncle Jake, sweetie..."

"Uh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with mommy right now."

"Ok honey, I need you to go...

What did the new Italian restaurant owner say after he found out he forgot to add a desert menu?

Affogato 'Bout It!

When I was born my parents were so lazy they forgot to give me a name!

So they just called me

If i had a nickel for every time someone forgot my name

I would be the first billionaire known as “man” or “fella”

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I can't believe I forgot the joke about Midas and Oedipus

It was mother fucking gold

I think I forgot my gmail password.

Yo CIA could you DM it to me?

A man forgot his dog’s name, so he started yelling random names.

Then it came back to him.

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