My three favorite things are eating my family

and omitting commas.

They say God grants wishes

... but they omit the fact that we have go there to receive our wish.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A legend of the Native Americans

While many people know of Sequoya, the Native American genius who developed the Cherokee alphabet, fewer have heard of another visionary โ€“ yet he made a discovery no less groundbreaking, owing nothing to the white manโ€™s knowledge.

It fell out like this: In the early 1800s, a certain chief, ...

A husband walks in and sees his beautiful, young blonde wife

A husband walks in and sees his beautiful, young blonde wife sitting at a table with a box and all its contents scattered about on the table top. She has a puzzled, frustrated expression on her face as she moves the pieces around.

He asks... "Honey, what are you doing?". To which she replies...

Common political joke from a village in Egypt

It was voting day in Egypt and a man's wife repeatedly reminded him to go vote during his lunch break. Deciding that Hosny Mubarak had a long enough reign, he decided to vote for the other guy.
Feeling proud of his decision, he told his wife. She became hysterical and scream "What have you done?...

The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant.

If omitted in one place, they turn up in another. When a
Bostonian "pahks" his "cah," the lost r's migrate southwest,
causing a Texan to "warsh" his car and invest in "erl wells."

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

You've Been Programming Too Long When...

When you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...".

When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.

When your wife says "If you don't turn off that darn machine and come to bed,then I am going to divorce you!", and you chastise her for for omit...

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