UPJOKE

Not Working Jokes

My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “It’s not working. I can’t take it any more. I’m going to my mom’s.” Confused and extremely worried, I slowly opened the fridge door. The light came on, the beer was cold.

What the hell did she mean?

Keyboard on my phone is not working

Keyboard on my phone is not working can someone help?

-Hello, I would like to return a boomerang I bought from here, it's not working.

-Of course. Where is it?

-No idea.

This quarantine thing is not working out.

My wife and I are becoming friends and I almost told her about my girlfriend.

My phone was not working in the hotel room

I had to go downstairs . They had reception there

[At a restaurant] Her: It’s not working out between us. For starters, I’m sick of your terrible jokes.

Me: Oh, ok. And for the main course?

What do you say when the internet is not working in Russia?

Internyet.

What do call a Russian not working jumbo jet?

Jumbo nyet

(Sorry)

I'm trying the cry it out method to get my kids sleeping, but it's not working...

I've been crying for three hours straight and they're still awake.

The upside to your parachute not working

You have the rest of your life to fix it!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Things are not working out with my math teacher girlfriend but she is really good at sex.

I don't know whether to eighty-six her or sixty-nine her.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the hardest part of having a "it's not working" conversation with your japanese girlfriend?

You need to drop the bomb twice

My Door Bell is not working

I deserve NoBell prize

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This is not working"

I should probably contact a therapist to help with my relationship issues. Maybe it's not too late.

The wife left a note by the TV today saying "Its not working, I'm leaving"

I plugged it in, turned it on, nothing wrong with it stupid cow!

How do you call it, when the internet is not working in Germany?

"InterNEIN"

Is your lizard not working?

You may have a reptile dysfunction.

Im a good man, I give 50% of my money to charity

Except when she’s not working I give it to destiny .

Putin is working in his office planning the Ukraine war, when the ghost of Stalin suddenly appears.

Putin takes the opportunity to seek advice: “Stalin, what happened? why are things not working out for us?” Stalin gives him the advice: “Send 5 million Russians to their deaths at war, and paint the Kremlin blue.” “Why blue?” asks Vladimir Putin.

“I knew you wouldn’t have a problem with ...

Came back home to a message from my girlfriend

Came back to find a message from my girlfriend on the fridge.

"It's not working, I give up, I have gone to stay at my mother's"

The fridge was humming away happily. I opened it, the light was on. I touched the beers inside, they were cold.

I don't understand, what does she mean?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with her personal trainer...

Me; "Okay, this is not working out."

Judge: How could you kill 24 people? What the hell was wrong with you?

Driver:I was driving at 50mph when I saw two men crossing the road. On the roadside, there was a restaurant with outside seating. I wanted to apply the brakes, but I realised they were not working. So I had to take a decision: Either hit the 2 men or run into the restaurant.

Judge: Hit the 2 ...

I invited my girlfriend to go to the gym with me and then I didn’t show.

I hope she gets the message that we’re not working out.

V

V

*Edit: seems like the ctrl key on my keyboard is not working

The boss caught an employee drinking at work.

He said: -"You can't drink while you're working!".
The employee replied: -"But I'm not working".


They both laughed a lot, and he got fired.

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