UPJOKE

Not Working Jokes

My girlfriend left a note on the fridge saying, "It's not working. I can't take it anymore. I am going to my mothers."

I opened the fridge. The light came on, the beer was cold.

What the hell is she talking about?

Keyboard on my phone is not working

Keyboard on my phone is not working can someone help?

This quarantine thing is not working out.

My wife and I are becoming friends and I almost told her about my girlfriend.

-Hello, I would like to return a boomerang I bought from here, it's not working.

-Of course. Where is it?

-No idea.

My phone was not working in the hotel room

I had to go downstairs . They had reception there

My Door Bell is not working

I deserve NoBell prize

The upside to your parachute not working

You have the rest of your life to fix it!

What do call a Russian not working jumbo jet?

Jumbo nyet

(Sorry)

What do you say when the internet is not working in Russia?

Internyet.

Is your lizard not working?

You may have a reptile dysfunction.

Someone's deodorant is not working...

And I know it's not me because I'm not wearing any.

V

V

*Edit: seems like the ctrl key on my keyboard is not working

I'm trying the cry it out method to get my kids sleeping, but it's not working...

I've been crying for three hours straight and they're still awake.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This is not working"

I should probably contact a therapist to help with my relationship issues. Maybe it's not too late.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the hardest part of having a "it's not working" conversation with your japanese girlfriend?

You need to drop the bomb twice

I invited my girlfriend to go to the gym with me and then I didn’t show up..

I hope she gets the message that we’re not working out.

[At a restaurant] Her: It’s not working out between us. For starters, I’m sick of your terrible jokes.

Me: Oh, ok. And for the main course?

A Blonde, a Brunette, and A Red Head are sentenced to death.

They are lined up in the yard to be killed. The main guard went up to the Brunette. “You have a choice on how you would like to die: by electric chair, firing squad, or hanging. Which will it be?”

The Brunette replied, “I’ll take the electric chair.”

She was led away by two other guar...

The wife left a note by the TV today saying "Its not working, I'm leaving"

I plugged it in, turned it on, nothing wrong with it stupid cow!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Things are not working out with my math teacher girlfriend but she is really good at sex.

I don't know whether to eighty-six her or sixty-nine her.

The boss caught an employee drinking at work.

He said: -"You can't drink while you're working!".
The employee replied: -"But I'm not working".


They both laughed a lot, and he got fired.

Judge: How could you kill 24 people? What the hell was wrong with you?

Driver:I was driving at 50mph when I saw two men crossing the road. On the roadside, there was a restaurant with outside seating. I wanted to apply the brakes, but I realised they were not working. So I had to take a decision: Either hit the 2 men or run into the restaurant.

Judge: Hit the 2 ...

How do you call it, when the internet is not working in Germany?

"InterNEIN"

I like to think I’m a pretty good man. I give over 50% of my paycheck to Charity.

But when she’s not working I give it to Destiny.

[Long] The population of this country is 300 million.

60 million are retired.

That leaves 240 million to do the work.

There are 95 million in school.

Which leaves 145 million to do the work.

Of this there are 22 million employed by the government.

Leaving 123 million to do the work.

61 million are disabled.
...

There were two nuns;

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),
and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).

It is getting dark and they are still far away
from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been
following us for the past thirty-eight and
a half minutes? I won...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.