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Charles, the CEO of a large company, notices that one of his offices is staffed almost exclusively by women

Now Charles would like you know that he's not sexist; he loves women. Absolutely adores them. Respects the hell out of them too. However he is concerned that without a man to keep them focused the office's productivity will drop.

So he goes to the manager of this particular office, Jonas, who...

Fidel Castro was a cigar-smoking, repressive leader who hated free speech and a free press.

Donald Trump, in comparison, doesn't smoke.

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A communist spy and an American spy are camping out in opposite buildings on Moscow.

Each one knows the other is there but thinks the other does not know that they are there. After hours of spying each one decides they need to go out for some fresh air. However, since both would be easily recognized they decide to put on disguises. The Communist, a female, puts on an elaborate mal...

I just got a repressed memory foam mattress.

It holds me just like my uncle used to.

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What do you call a sexually repressed bandit?

Rubbin' Hood

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Why is it detrimental to have a robot with repressed sexual interests?

It has some kinks to work out.

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"I can't go back to that school"

I put down my book, \*The Art of the Unseen\*, to examine the fiery young lad before me. "What happened, son?"

"They took one look at me, and started calling me 'Ginger'!"

I sighed, admitting, "I'd hoped they wouldn't notice. What did you do?"

"Well, Dad, you've taught me to al...

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I'm done. Guys, I'm fucking sick of this. I'm almost 20 and haven't been able to score a better job than a fucking cook at a local fast food joint.

What makes it worse is that I live in a small town, so business is pretty limited and where I work is the only place that'll hire high school graduates.

I'd get the hell out of this town if I could actually drive too, but I've failed every damn test I've ever taken.

I'm socially awkwa...

Every time I lie down on my new bed, all the embarrassing moments of my like come flooding back to me.

I shouldn’t have bought the repressed memory foam mattress.

I have been trying Chinese medicine for depression for about two months now

I think its working. My tears have certainly been repressed.

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