A genie appears in front of a middle-aged wife at home.
"I can grant you one wish," the genie says.
"Well," the woman said thoughtfully, "My husband hasn't been fun in bed for a while... I want you to turn my old cat into a manly friend!" She points at an old, fat cat resting lazily on the couch.
"Granted," the genie says as he disappears,...
My cat is very fat
A girl takes her big fat cat to the vet. "My cat is very fat,” she says. "Alright," says the vet. "I will look at him." The vet picks up the cat and examines its teeth. Then she looks at its eyes. Then into its ears. Finally, she turns to the girl and says, “I'm very sorry. I’m going to have to ...
I worked up the courage to call out my overweight cat today.
I asked him "If you're such a fat cat, where is all your money?"
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A fly is hovering six inches above a lake.
Under the water, a fish is sizing up the fly. "If that fly would just drop six inches, I could eat it," it thinks. On the shore of the lake, a bear is eyeing the fish. "If that fly drops six inches, the fish will go for it, and I can catch the fish while it's distracted." On top of a nearby hi...
Three bats chilling in a cave upside down
On of them goes out for a hunt, turns back with his mouth full of blood. Both are impressed, "damn dude what did you catch?" "You see that pile of flesh? Well that was a big fat cat, juicy blood!".
The second one goes out, turns back within an hour, whole face covered in blood. "Wooah man, te...
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