What's the difference between a bobcat and a cougar?

You ride a Bobcat, a cougar rides you.

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Remember: if the Pilgrims had shot a bobcat instead of a turkey,

we'd all be eating pussy on Thanksgiving ...

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Three cowboys are standing around a fire...

...trading stories about how tough and manly they are.

The first cowboy says, "Well I was ridin' the trail the other day, and was lettin' my horse rest, when a coral snake bit me on the leg. I sucked the poison out, then I roasted that sumbitch and ate him for dinner."

The second cowbo...

Donald Trump is being held hostage...

Guy 1: "Donald Trump is being held hostage by terrorists and they threaten to shoot him unless the US can come up with $5 billion in cash!"

Guy 2: "Oh my God, that's horrible! How much have people donated?"

Guy 1: "So far, 15 rifles, 20 machine guns, 16 shotguns, 8 revolvers, 76 BB gun...

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The Fly at the Lake

There was once a fly buzzing around a lake.

"If I come down three more inches," he said buzzing around sporadically, "I can finally get me a drink of water."

Just beneath the surface was a fish watching the fly buzz around.

"If that fly comes down three more inches," he said wit...

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The Moral of the Story

A fly was traveling in the mountains when he began to get tired. He realized it was about lunch time, and seeing a lake below him, he decided to land for a drink and a nibble.

Well about this time, a fish was swimming in the water, and he saw the fly coming down. He thought to himself, "As s...

Two blondes are on a hike through the woods

They come across some tracks and stop to figure out what type they are. One blonde insists they're bobcat tracks, the other thinks they're moose tracks. Before they can figure it out, the train hits them.

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