UPJOKE
hareeuropean rabbitrodentlapincottontailbunnylagomorphapikasquirrelburrowratbunny rabbitcatelephantdeer

Rabbit Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

The rabbit and the bear

One day a bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods, when suddenly a magic stork flys down from the sky and calls the two of them over.

The stork says he's seen them be aggressive to eachother for weeks now and he'll offer them both 3 wishes each if they stop. The bear being greedy says "I'm...

Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves.........?

Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves. The wolves chased the rabbits into a thicket. After a few minutes, one rabbit turned to the other and said, "Well, do you want to make a run for it or stay here a few days and outnumber them?"

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A rabbit is captured and taken to a medical laboratory to be used for experiments . . .

There, he befriends a rabbit who was born and raised in the lab. One day, he notices that the researchers didn't latch his cage properly and he decides to make a break for it. He tells the lab rabbit how great it is on the outside and convinces him to come along.

First, the wild rabbit take...

A priest, an imam and a rabbit walk into a blood bank

The rabbit says : I think I might be a type O.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A rabbit is hopping through the woods. Hop! Hop! Hop! When he comes upon a giraffe. Now, this giraffe is about to smoke some weed. The rabbit looks up at the giraffe and say, "Giraffe, don't smoke weed! Weed is a drug and drugs are bad, come running with me through the forest!"

The giraffe looks at the weed, then looks at the rabbit, then back at the weed.

The giraffe tossed his blunt aside and they go running through the forest together. Run! Run! Run! Hop! Hop! Hopping along.

Soon they come to a clearing with a sheep.

This sheep is about to shoot up ...

A priest, a rabbit and a minister walk into a bar.

The bartender asks the rabbit โ€œWhat can I get you to drinkโ€.

The rabbit says โ€œI have no idea, Iโ€™m only here because of autocorrectโ€.

A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit walked into a blood donation clinic.

A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit walked into a blood donation clinic. The nurse asked the rabbit, โ€œWhat is your blood type?โ€ The rabbit responded, โ€œIโ€™m probably a type O.โ€

what do you call a guy with 15 and a half rabbits up his bum?

Kyle. My names Kyle.

A pastor, an imam, and a rabbit decide to donate blood.

The pastor comes out and says, โ€œThey tested it and told me Iโ€™m A positive.โ€

The imam follows up with, โ€œInteresting! I found out Iโ€™m AB negative.โ€

The rabbit looks at the two of them and says, โ€œPretty sure Iโ€™m a type O.โ€

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A rabbit is running around the woods

When he encounters and elephant, who was just about to light a joint.

The rabbit yells: "No!! Are you seriously gonna throw your life away like that? Come run with me, that's way more healthy!!"

So the elephant starts running with the rabbit, they run through the woods until they enco...

Elton John got his pet rabbit a treadmill for Xmas.

It's a little fit bunny.

Why did the bald guy get tattoos of rabbits on his head?

Because from a distance they look like hares

Why did the rabbit suspect his wife was cheating on him?

He kept finding different hares in his bed.

The Little Research Lab Bunny Rabbit

One morning at the research lab, an assistant accidentally left a cage open while cleaning and a little bunny rabbit escaped when he wasn't looking. The little bunny rabbit followed the assistant out of the room, down the hallway, and right out the door.

The little bunny rabbit looked around...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Rabbit Hunting

A man out walking with his dog is amazed to see his doctor down on all fours with his finger halfway down a rabbit hole.
As he continues to watch, the doctor withdraws his hand and a moment later a rabbit pops his head out. The doctor knocks it out and puts it in his bag. After watching him catch...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Tortoise and Rabbit. Antagonist view.

A different insight into the story of hare and tortoise:-

E๐’—๐’†๐’“๐’š๐’๐’๐’† ๐’•๐’‰๐’“๐’๐’–๐’ˆ๐’‰๐’๐’–๐’• ๐’•๐’‰๐’† ๐’˜๐’๐’“๐’๐’… ๐’‰๐’‚๐’” ๐’Œ๐’†๐’‘๐’• ๐’ˆ๐’Š๐’—๐’Š๐’๐’ˆ ๐’•๐’‰๐’† ๐’†๐’™๐’‚๐’Ž๐’‘๐’๐’† ๐’๐’‡ ๐‘ป๐’๐’“๐’•๐’๐’Š๐’”๐’†โ€ฆ ๐‘บ๐’‚๐’š๐’Š๐’๐’ˆ ๐’•๐’‰๐’‚๐’• ๐’”๐’๐’๐’˜ ๐’‚๐’๐’… ๐’”๐’•๐’†๐’‚๐’…๐’š ๐’˜๐’Š๐’๐’” ๐’•๐’‰๐’† ๐’“๐’‚๐’„๐’†, ๐’‚๐’๐’… ๐’†๐’Ž๐’‘๐’‰๐’‚๐’”๐’Š๐’›๐’Š๐’๐’ˆ...

What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?

A receding hare line.

Rabbit in the fridge (only for old-timers)

A man went into the kitchen to make breakfast and was shocked to see a rabbit sitting inside his refrigerator.

He yelled "Hey! What are you doing in there?!"
The rabbit asked back "Well this refrigerator is a Westinghouse, right?"
"I guess... What difference does that make?"
"I...

Rabbit Dinner

I made up this one-liner at dinner the other night. I guarantee itโ€™s not original, but Iโ€™ve never heard it beforeโ€ฆ.True Story BTW

I was in Italy with my girlfriend visiting her parents and they had a rabbit for dinner. I looked at her mother and said there is a hare on your plate.

A rabbit walks in to a cake shop.

He walks up to the counter and asks " Do you have a birthday cake with spinach?" "No I'm sorry we don't" says the store clerk. "Ok" says the rabbit and promptly bounces out of the store.

The rabbit comes back a couple of times and asks the same question and gets the same answer so the store ...

What's the difference between a healthy rabbit and a sick joke?

One is a fit bunny, the other is a bit funny.

I went down the rabbit hole

and found a carrot.

The MI5, the CIA and the KGB are having a competition

Three small parties of all three Agencies meet on neutral ground, on the edge of a big german forest.

For the goal of the competition, they decided that each of their parties should catch a rabbit, using their espionage skills. The party that manages to catch the rabbit the quickest, wins....

Why was the rabbit disappointed when she saw the gold?

Those werenโ€™t the carats she expected!

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

a bear and a rebbit smoking a joint

A bear was smoking a joint, leaning on a tree when a rabbit came by. Bear saw the rabbit and invited him to smoke along, and rabbit joined.

After the they smoked one, the bear who was preaty high already asled the rabbit,

Bear: do you feel anything?
Rabbit: no
Bear: hmm, lets smo...

The KGB, the FBI and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at catching criminals.

The Secretary General of the UN decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations ...

The Rabbit

A man with a hunting dog lived next door to a woman with a rabbit hutch in her backyard.

One day, he came home to find his dog with the rabbit in its' mouth, dead. The man was horrified but knew his dog would be sent away if the neighbors thought it was a danger to other pets. So he took the...

How do you catch a unique rabbit?

Unique up on itโ€ฆ

What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit?

They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

The FBI, the CIA, and the KGB are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.

The FBI receive 1000 tips about the rabbit's location but refuses to investigate.

The CIA burns down the whole forest and said there's no rabbit.

The KGB drags a man out of the forest and beats him as he screams "OK I'm a rabbit!"

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Why can't you hear rabbits having sex?

Because they have cotton balls.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A bear and a rabbit are pooping in the woods.

The bear glances over at the rabbit and asks "Do you have trouble with poo sticking to your fur?"

The rabbit replies, "Nope, never been a problem. Just lucky that way, I guess."

"Guess so," the bear said, as he picked up the rabbit and wiped his butt with him.

A guy applies for a job with the L.A.P.D.

Inspector says "These are the best qualifications I've ever seen, just one more test before you get the job. Take this gun, go out and shoot six black guys and a rabbit."

Guy replies "Why the rabbit?"

Inspector says "Fantastic attitude, you've got the job!"

A guy finds his dog with the neighbors pet rabbit in its mouth

The rabbit is dead and the guy panics. He takes the dirty, chewed-up rabbit into the house. He gives it a bath, blow-dries its fur, and puts it back into the cage at the neighbor's house, hoping they will think it died of natural causes.

A few days later, the neighbor asks the guy, "Did you h...

A Preist, a Pastor, and a Rabbit

A preist, a pastor, and a rabbit walk into a blood donation clinic. The nurse at the front desk notices them waiting and asks them if they know their blood types; they're very low on specific types of blood, as usual.

The rabbit hurriedly hops up and says "Yep, I'm a type A-."

The nurs...

The Rabbit

A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit.

The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of t...

The lion decided to invite everyone to his birthday party. But, him being the king, he ordered everybody to bring him meat as a present, or else he will hit them with his massive dong. And soon, the day came and all the animals lined up infront of the lion's cave with their presents.

The Wolf wanted to gift the King lamb, the fox had a chicken, the leopard an antilope, and so on...The lion greeted all of his guests and welcomed them to the party. Suddenly, the rabbit stood infront of him with a carrot. All guests went silent. The lion looked him in the eyes and said: " You know...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Bear and Rabbit

A bear and a rabbit were taking a dump in the forest, and the bear turned to the rabbit and said, we eat a lot of the same things, I'm curious, does shit stick to your fur? The rabbit replied, the one good thing about being so fluffy is shit never sticks to my fur. With that the bear promptly picked...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A bear and a rabbit

A bear and a rabbit are taking shits in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, โ€œDo you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?โ€ The rabbit says โ€œnoโ€. So the bear picks him up and wipes his ass with him!

One day an old dog lost his way while chasing rabbits

One day an old dog lost his way while chasing rabbits. Soon he noticed a lion in the distance running towards him with a hungry look in his eye.

Noticing some bones on the ground close by, the dog immediately settled down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the ...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

What do you call a rabbit with a crooked dick?

Fucks Funny

I donโ€™t like eating rabbit

I always get hare stuck in my teeth

An Armenian takes his son hunting with him for the first time.

\- I don't understand, Daddy, - the son says. - How are you going to hunt? You have no gun with you, no traps, no net even...

\- Ah, son, you don't know what our Armenian jinx is like. There, look, a rabbit is sitting under that bush. Such a strong, healthy little rabbit, such shiny fur it ha...

Best name for a serial-murderer rabbit

Ted Bunny

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Pervert Bear and Genious rabbit

A bear hunts a rabbit in the forest. After several hours of running, they arrive in a clearing with a large rock in the center, and on top of this rock stands a golden frog. Surprised, they approach and the frog starts talking to them:
" For having found me, I grant you 3 wishes each."
The b...

A bald magician pulled a rabbit out of a hat. Then he put the rabbit right on top of his head and gently lowered the hat down over the rabbit until the rabbit was completely covered. After a couple seconds of wearing the hat, the magician quickly lifted the hat back up, and presto!

there wasnโ€™t a hare on his head

A rabbit escaped from a lab.

While on his way, he found a group of rabbits who asked him to stay. Not wanting to refuse the offer, he asked them, what was so special about the place.

The leader of the group says - If you go through that fence, there is a whole field of carrots ready to eat to your content.

So, he ...

An atheist a priest and a rabbit walk into a bar.

And the rabbit says: Guys, I'm pretty sure I'm a typo.

A rabbit walks into an electronics store

He goes up to the counter and bangs his hands down hard on it to get the cashiers attention.

**\*BANG BANG\***
"I'd like two carrots please."

The cashier is naturally surprised by everything about this interaction, but being the professional that he is politely says, "I'm sorry, b...

I ordered rabbit stew at a pub the other day...

The server drops the rabbit stew off at my table and starts walking away.

I call him back and say, "There's a hare in my stew."

Three rabbits escape from a testing lab...

and find an entire field full of carrots. They eat themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, they find an entire field full of female rabbits with no males in sight. They screw themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, the rabbits get...

The Superiority of Rabbits

One sunny day a rabbit came out of her hole in the ground to enjoy the fine weather. The day was so nice that she became careless and a fox snuck up behind her and caught her.

"I am going to eat you for lunch," said the fox.

"Wait," replied the rabbit, "You should at least wait a few d...

A priest, a pastor and a rabbit are in a car wreck

They are rushed to the hospital where it becomes clear that the priest and the pastor will need blood to survive. The priest has blood type A, while the pastor has type B. By the grace of God they are saved, as type Os can donate to both.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

One day a small rabbit was taking a run through the forest.

As he was running he came upon a giraffe. This giraffe was about to shoot up some heroin. The rabbit looked at he giraffe for a moment and then said, "Giraffe, don't do heroin. Heroin is a drug, and drugs are bad for you. Come running with me through the forest."
The giraffe looked at the rabbit,...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods

This is going on for weeks. Every day they run through the same clearing until one day they kick over a mound of dirt and uncover a genieโ€™s lamp.

The genie pops out of his lamp and says โ€œIโ€™ve been listening to you two running through this forest for weeks now! I will grant both of you 3 wishe...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A rabbit is running hastily through the forest

And suddenly sees a deer relaxing under a tree smoking some hash. "What're you doing here, are you crazy?" says the rabbit, "We're in nature in the clean air, and you're smoking hash? Get up so we can run together and clean out our lungs!" "Youre right!" says the deer, and he gets up and starts runn...

A Priest, an Imam and a Rabbit walk into a blood donation clinic

The nurse asks them, gentlemen, do you know your blood types?

The priest replies, โ€œYes I am AB+โ€

The Imam replies, โ€œI am a B +โ€

And finally the Rabbit replies, โ€œI am not too sure but I think that Iโ€™m a Type Oโ€

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A rabbit spots a fox rolling a blunt

The rabbit dashes to him and shout : " Don't smoke weed man, just go for a run with me!"

And so they went for a run.

After a running for a bit they spot a squirrel ready to snort up a big fat line of coke.

The rabbit again dashes to him and shouts : "Mate, don't do it! just go f...

How do rabbits keep their pelts so clean?

They have hare supplies.

What do you call the son of a German rabbit farmer?

Herr hare heir.

what do you call a couple of rabbits with no legs?

Hopless Romantics.

A priest, a monk, and a rabbit walk in a bar. As they approach the bar, they see a blood donation booth. The rabbit hops to the nurse to be the first to donate. The nurse looks at him and ask: โ€œWhatโ€™s your blood group?โ€

The rabbit says: "I dunno, I think I might be a Type-O."

Rabbit Stew

A man walks in to a restaurant and orders the rabbit stew. He takes one sip, then abruptly spits it out. He yells out, "waiter, there is a hare in my stew!"

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A rabbit walks into a pharmacy

โ€œCarrots, have you got carrots?โ€, he asks.

The pharmacist replies: โ€œNo, this is a pharmacy. If you want carrots you should check out the grocery store.โ€

On the next day the rabbit comes back and asks: โ€œCarrots, have you got carrots?โ€

The pharmacist replies: โ€œNo, I told you yeste...

Lesson 4 of 6: The Crow and the Rabbit

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him, โ€can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?โ€ The crow answered: โ€œsure, why not!โ€ So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.


A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.


**Moral of the...

There's a guy in my neighbourhood who I used to think was really weird. I'd always see him out walking his rabbit. The rabbit was always in a different outfit. One day a frock. One day a skirt. One day a suit-jacket combo. Then it multiplied into a flock of rabbits, all wearing really niche clothes.

Eventually, curiosity got the better of me and I approached him and asked "excuse me sir, I can't help but notice your entourage of dapper rabbits. Can I ask what you do?"

He replied "Oh I'm a hare stylist."

I saw my dog carrying a dead rabbit in its mouth.

I recognized that the rabbit came from my neighbor. I didn't want the neighbor to get mad at me because my dog killed their rabbit so I took the rabbit from the dog and snuck it back into it's cage so it would look like it just died there.

Later I heard my neighbor screaming so I asked what's...

Rumour got round that the bear kept a list of all the animals he plans to kill.

Scared and confused, the wolf went to confront the bear.

"Bear," said wolf. "Do you really keep a list of all the animals you plan to kill?"

"I do." said the bear.

"And... Is my name on it?" asked the wolf.

"It is." the bear growled. And the following morning, the wol...

My friend confessed to me saying that he was starting to develop a bestiality fetish...

Not wanting to kink shame him I ask โ€œHow did you get into it?โ€

โ€œWell I did some research on the internet and ended up going down a rabbit holeโ€

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Beaver invites Rabbit over for dinner one night

The dinner goes swimmingly well, and Rabbit is very impressed with Beaver's skill in the kitchen. Particularly with the homemade iced cream dessert that Beaver was famous for. Not really expecting much of an answer, because Beaver is ever the coy herbivore, Rabbit inquires politely, "Goodness, Beave...

How picky are rabbits about their weddings?

Oh, they're not picky at all! They just want their rings to have several carats.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Translated: A rabbit is running in the jungle

A rabbit is running in the jungle when he sees a monkey getting drunk. He hops over to him and says "Man, its such a nice day out. Why don't you put down that disgusting stuff and come run around with me." The monkey agrees.

After a while they meet an elephant smoking some weed. The rabbit ag...

On the highway, a driver saw a man holding a rabbit for sale.

He stopped, opened the window and asked: "How much is the donkey?"

The guy said: "It's a rabbit, not a donkey!"

The driver replied: "You shut up, I'm talking to the rabbit not to you."

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit go to donate blood at their local bloodbank.

When the arrive they are asked what bloodtypes they have.

The priest thinks and says โ€œI believe I am a type A positiveโ€

The minister saysโ€œIโ€™m quite certain I'm a type B negativeโ€

The rabbit tugs on his beard and thoughtfully says โ€œI think Iโ€™m a type Oโ€

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Dex: Wife and me fuck like rabbits every night.

Ter: You lucky bastard. Only get it once a month and I call it the bruce lee night.

Dex: Why the fuck do you call it that for?

Ter: Because itโ€™s the night I enter the dragon

The Rabbit starts running in the forest...

As he runs past a tree, he meets the Bear shooting himself with heroine.
-Why are you ruining your life, dear Bear?-asks the Rabbit.-Lets run together!
Now they are running along, but as they run more and more, they meet the Fox, who is boiling some crack.
-Why are you shortening your life,...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

The rabbit was running away from two hunters

He stoped for a second to tell the old shepherd something, and continued running.
Soon the hunters caught up and asked the old shepherd: "Have you seen the rabbit passing through here?"

Shepherd without hesitation answerd : "Yes he passed through here."

Hunters wanting to make fun...

Why was her name Jessica Rabbit?

Because of the RED HARE!

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A bear and a rabbit find a magic genie in the woods

He grants them three wishes a piece.

"I wish for a motorcycle."

As the motorcycle appeared, the bear scoffed, "What a waste of a wish. I wish for all the bears in the forest to be female."

The genie granted his wish and the rabbit made his second wish, "I wish for a helmet."...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

[long] A bear and a rabbit...

<Prologue>


A bear is taking a shit in the woods one day when a rabbit comes by.

. The bear asks "hey rabbit, do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur?


" no" says the rabbit.

So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit..


<rabbit wil...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

I was cleaning my yard when my dog brought a dead rabbit to me.

This wasn't just any ordinary rabbit.

I could tell that this was one of my neighbors prized rabbits that he used for shows.

Seeing as I didn't want my neighbor knowing my dog killed his rabbit, I washed the blood off the rabbit and that night put the rabbit back into its cage at my n...

What do you call two rabbits in a fist fight?

Hare knuckle boxing.

A very talented rabbit

Alice loves walking through the park and saying hello to anyone she hasnโ€™t met before.

One day, she comes across a man with a pet rabbit. She asks if the rabbit can do any tricks, and she is greeted with an amazing performance. Without going into too much detail, the rabbit is easily one of t...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

My girlfriend has a rampant rabbit sex toy.

It's not her favourite, but it's up there...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A bear and a rabbit are walking through the forest...

And they stumble upon a magic lamp. The bear rubs it and a genie pops out.

The genie says, "I will grant you each 3 wishes."

The bear says, "I wish I wish I was the only male bear in this forest, so all the other female Bears will be forced to be with me." The genie grants him this ...

How is a rabbit like an IPA?

They both taste hoppy.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Love that Simply Red song about having sex with a rabbit.

Holding back the ears.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Long. A little white rabbit is being chased through the forest by a bear.

As they are running, they both trip over a magic lamp. The genie pops out and looks at the two.

โ€œSince you both touched the lamp, you will both get 3 wishes,โ€ says the genie.

The bear starts jumping up and down waving its paws and says โ€œOh, oh, oh, me first! I wish all the bears in thi...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A bear and a rabbit are arguing in the forest...

The genie is quite sick of hearing them so he decides to do something about it.

"Gentlemen!" He exclaims, popping up between them in a puff of sparkly blue smoke, "You are clearly not happy. So, to mitigate this, I shall grant each of you three wishes!"

"OH! OH! I shall go first!" The ...

A rabbit goes for a run through the forest

As heโ€™s running a cones across a possum about to light up a joint. The rabbit says, โ€œOh no! Mr. Possum! Donโ€™t do that! Itโ€™s so bad for you. Come running with me and stay healthy!โ€ The possum looks at his joint and decides they the rabbit is right and he needs to get healthy. So off they go for a run...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

If a rabbit lives in a rabbit hole,

and a Fox lives in a foxhole, does that mean a donkey live in a asshole?

A rabbit says to a fox, "I'm writing a dissertation on how rabbits eat foxes"

"Come on, you know that's impossible! No one will publish such rubbish." says the fox

"Well, follow me and I'll show you." They both go into the rabbit's dwelling and after a while, the rabbit emerges with a satisfied expression on his face.

Then comes a wolf. "Hello, what are we doin...

I saw a vegan with a lucky rabbits foot the other day.

Iโ€™m pretty sure thatโ€™s a faux paw.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Bear and rabbit get wishes

Bear and rabbit were just walking through the forest, as a fairy apearred. it granted both 3 wishes.
bears first wish was, to make every bear girl in this forest like only him. the rabbit on the other hand just wanted a very fast harley.
second wish from bear was that every bear girl on the wh...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A Bear and A Rabbit Walking Through the Woods

A bear and a rabbit are walking through the woods one day when they stumble across a magic lamp. Rabbit rubs the lamp and out pops a genie. "You know the drill," he says. "You both get three wishes. What's it gonna be?"

Bear says, "I wish all the other bears in the entire forest were *lady be...

I just saw this guy going up a hill with a wheelbarrow full of horseshoes, four leaf clovers and rabbit's feet.

I thought: โ€œHeโ€™s pushing his luck!โ€

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A rabbit and a bear go to take a shit in the woods of wonderlandโ€ฆ

The rabbit โ€œa bit intimidated by the large bearโ€ offers him one of his extra mushrooms that the large bear gladly accepts. The rabbit then looks at the bear and says hey - โ€œdoes shit stick to your fur?โ€ The bear โ€œmunching on the shrooms and shrinkingโ€ says - Hell no, my fur is immaculateโ€. The rabbi...

What do you call a snuggly rabbit?

Hugs Bunny

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Mr. Bear, Mr. Rabbit and the Golden Frog.

Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit didn't like each other very much. One day, while walking through the woods, and they came across a golden frog.

They were amazed when the frog talked to them. The golden frog admitted that he didn't often meet anyone, but, when he did, he always gave them six wishes. H...

What kind of jewelry do rabbits wear?

14 carrot gold

Father Rabbit teaches his Rabbit Son life lessons.

So Father Rabbit takes four female rabbits and lines them up in front of his son.

"Son", says Father Rabbit, "we are small and vulnerable animals, and everyone in the woods wants to eat us. That's why we have to do everything really fast to stay safe. Including reproduction. I brought these f...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit live in the same forrest The bear is chasing the rabbit trying to kill it. Until they come across a golden frog who offers them three wishes each

Mr. Bear wishes that all the other bears in the forest were female. Mr. Rabbit wishes for a crash helmet.

Mr. Bear's second wish is that all the bears in the neighbouring forests were female as well. Mr. Rabbit wishes for a motorcycle.

Mr. Bear's final wish is that all the other bears ...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

To determine a rabbit's sex from afar, try sneaking up on them and shouting: if he runs, it's a boy.

If *she* runs, it's a girl.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Dad rabbit teaches son rabbit how to reproduce

The dad puts three female rabbits in front of him and explains:

Dad "look son, we're rabbits and we do it fast, like one
two three" *Dad fucks all 3 female rabbits in seconds*

Dad: "Now you try son"


Son: *onnneee......twwwooo.....*


Dad: "no no son, I said fas...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A wolf and a rabbit hated each other...

One day, the pair were walking through an enchanted forest when they discovered a magical frog trapped in a hole. The frog promised to grant them each three wishes if they helped him escape. The two rescued the frog, and after they set him safely on the ground, the frog croaked, "thank you! Now I wi...

A joke from my country (Brazil)

In an international police convention, American FBI, English Scotland Yard and Brazilian BOPE are about to take part in a competition.

A rabbit will be set loose in the woods and the team that retrieves it in the shortest time wins.

First goes the Scotland Yard. They use hounds and hel...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A bear is chasing a rabbit around a dead hollow tree.

They are causing lots of commotion. Eventually a forest spirit rises from the tree.

โ€œYou two have woken me from my slumber. If you promise to go away I will grant you both three wishesโ€

The bear and rabbit instantly agree.

The spirit asks the bear for his first wish.

โ€œI w...

Did you hear about the rabbit with the one floppy ear?

He had ear-rectile dysfunction

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

My cat's best friend was a rabbit, but the rabbit passed away today....

...now I have a hare-less pussy!

But seriously, RIP Carrots.

Why didnโ€™t the rabbit hunter want to be on TV?

Because he was having a bad hare day.

A bus driver was called into court for killing 24 children and 6 adults

The judge asks the bus driver "why did you kill all those innocent people?"

The bus driver, looking a little sad, says "I didn't mean too, It was by mistake!"

"How did it happen?" Asks the judge.

"Well-" said the bus driver, "I was driving to a bus station but suddenly, on the r...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

An old lion chases a tired rabbit

After being kicked from the pride, the old lion tries to hunt for food. He finds and chases after a rabbit day and night all around the jungle through the old creek and the thick forest finally ending up at the magic temple where a fairy lives. Upon hearing the ruckus she comes out to see both the a...

Tonight we're having Himalayan rabbit stew for dinner.

We found himalayan on the road.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A bear and a rabbit stumbled upon a magical lamp in the forest...

They rubbed it and guess what, a genie appeared. He granted both of them 3 wishes each. The rabbit asked the bear to go first, becuase he knew the bear's playboy nature.

Bear: I wish to be the most handsome bear in the whole world.
Genie: Granted.
Rabbit: I want a motorbike.
Genie (a...

I met a rabbit chanting a mantra of peace and consciousness.

"*Hare* Krishna"

Rabbit and Frog

One day a Rabbit and a Frog were hopping through the forest, when all of a sudden they bump into each other. They both apologise and exclaim that they are each blind. The Rabbit says that he has always been blind and doesn't actually know what he is. So the Frog said, that he has not always been...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.