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Eating Apple Jokes

2 people are sitting on a bench and 1 is eating apple seeds.

2: Why are you eating those?
1: They make you smarter.
2: Can i buy a couple?
1: Yeah $2 a piece!
So 2 buys 5 seeds and eat them all.
2: Wait! This is a scam! For those $10 i could have bought some apples and i would have way more seeds!
1: Ah, i see they are beginning to work.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is driving when he notices a new bar has opened up

He decides he could use a drink, so he walks in and takes a seat at the bar. He is greeted by the bartender who promptly asks him what he would like to drink. “I’ll take a... I’ll do a Crown and 7-Up,” the man says. The bartender nods his head in acknowledgement, does a quick search under the counte...

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[Nsfw] Man walks into bar and orders a rum a coke.

Bartender gives him an apple
Man gives him a surprised look and says "I ordered a rum and coke!"
Bartender says "just take a bite"
Man bites it and says "This tastes like rum."
Bartender say "now turn it around."
Man turns it and take a bite "Wow, this tastes like coke. This is amazin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two part joke

Q. How does an elephant hide in an apple tree?
A. He paints his balls red.

Q. What's the loudest sound in Africa?
A. Giraffes eating apples.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Another bar joke

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and orders a gin and tonic.


The bartender reaches under the counter and pulls out an apple and hands it to him.


The guy takes the apple and asks, "What's this, I asked for a gin and tonic".


The bartender replies, "take a bite, you w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A friend of mine just improved one of my all time favorites.

Why don't you ever ever see elephants hiding in trees?

Because they are very good at it

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Why do some elephants paint their balls red?

So they can hide in apple trees.

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What is the loudest sound in the forest?


A squirrel eating apples.

-...

Thorbeaux and Dreaux

I heard this somewhere else but really wanted to share

Thor and Dreaux were out one day under the hot summer sun digging a Ditch around an apple orchard, for their boss John. After a few hours of making the ditch, deaux turns to Thor and asks :
"Hey Thor, why are we here diggin a ditch and...

Apple pie and coffee

A Russian man has been taught a phrase by his friend so that he can order food at the local restaurant.

Each day on his lunch break he goes to the same place and orders “ah pull pi and cough yeh”

One day he asks his friend to please teach him something else because he is so tired of ...

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