This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

By legalizing Cannabis and same-sex marriage we finally interpreted the Bible correctly:

**"A man who lays with another man should be stoned."** [Leviticus 20:13 esv]

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Hey! I heard China just legalized same-sex marriage!", says a white man to a Chinese national.

"No we didn't.", replies the Chinese national.

"But Taiwan just legalized same-sex marriage!"

"No… Taiwan is not… uh… Yes, China is … uh…"

What would happen if Snoop Dogg dies before pot becomes legal in the US?

He’d be rolling in his grave.

Is kidnapping legal?

Me: kidnapping I prefer the term surprise adoption
Police: what crack are you on

If Americans in Niagara Falls want to get to Canada for legal marijuana...

They have to take the 420 Highway!

(It’s actually true. Look it up.)

Brazil might as well legalize weed.

They’re smoking enough trees as it is.

The Supreme Court may decide a case to allow women to legally go topless in public to be equal to men

So far, over 3 million amicus briefs in favor of the plaintiff have been offered.

A young Law student, having failed his Law exam, goes up to his crusty old professor, who is renowned for his razor-sharp legal mind.

Student, "Sir, do you really understand everything about this subject?"

Professor, "Actually, I probably do. Otherwise I wouldn't be a professor, would I?"

Student, "OK. So I'd like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my marks as it is. If you ...

My wife was only thinking of herself when she spent all of our life savings on court fees to legally be considered a lobster.

She is lawfully shellfish.

Legally speaking the Trump proposition of buying the Greenland from Denmark...

is a weird borderline-case.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Stop vs slow down

A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by an Irish cop. He thinks that he's smarter than the cop because he's a lawyer from the one and only London and is certain that he has a better education than any Irish cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Irish cop'...

"Barely legal".

Because "almost underage" sounds a bit creepy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear the story about Joe Shitter?

Did you hear the story about Joe Shitter? Poor schmuck was bullied for his name as far back as grade school. Everyone anticipated daily roll call just to hear the teacher call out his name and burst in uncontrolled laughter. Even the teachers giggled. It didn't end after school, he joined the army h...

I joined a march today for the legalization of marijuana. Well, it started off as a march, but after a while...

...it turned into a wander.

Sorry Cincy

Cincinnati ,Oh(AP) -A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Cincinnati courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.


The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping...

What would you call an addendum to burglary laws that would state that it's legal to break and enter into someone's house, provided you leave them with a gift?

The Santa clause

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Liberals are acting like Trump is going to kill all the gays, make slavery legal again, and take away women's rights....

Like he's a Muslim or something.

Sometimes, I can't believe that the government has legally let me marry hundreds of women.

And all I had to do was get ordained.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You know why they only sell penis enlargement pills legally?

Because they don't sell well on the black market.

A message from Canada, to all Americans who are jealous about the recent marijuana legalization.

Sorry.

It is now legal to park bovines with foot coverings in motorcycle parking spaces.

They're officially labeled as Cowasockies.

Why don’t penguins get legally married?

Because they’re animals and have no concept of marriage.

Recreational marijuana is legal in 10 out of the 50 states.

That's 4/20th of the United States.

I used to view smokers as rude due to the harmful effects of secondhand smoke.

Now that assisted-suicide is legal, I view them as polite.

After years of saving Saul finally had enough money to get his eye transplant in China

His wife was opposed to the idea on moral grounds. His brother was worried he might lose what little sight he had now. His friends were worried that what he was doing wasn't entirely legal.

He dismissed them all one by one and finally bought his ticket and set off with grim determination. <...

Coming in 2019: a new interactive Netflix experience that shows what happens to society when all crimes are legal, and the entire thing is available live streaming. The series you can't miss, it's...

Binging and Purging

When i got my gun license, first thing i did was cut off a bear’s front legs. No legal action was taken

Because i had the right to bear arms

Trump legalizes marijuana to pay for the wall with the tax revenues.

This really stirred the pot.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cock fighting is legal in Minnesota.

As long as you don't use chicken's.

I know it's an old one, but there was a cock fight broken up in my county last night and this was going around the jail.

Who does R Kelly blame his current legal troubles on?

His body...

His mind was telling him no, but his body, his body was telling him yeeeehhhss.

A Lobster Walks Into a Bar

He goes up to the bartender and says: "Look, before you can serve me, I need to advise you that I'm a lawyer."

"Blimey... A lobster lawyer? That is impressive," says the bartender.

The Lobster puts his briefcase up on the bar, deftly opens it with his claws, and produces a document tha...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

TIL that Kim Kardashian's giant ass has it's own birth certificate, and even has a legal name:

Kanye

Now that weed is legal in Canada...

There is a whole new meaning to Grandma's chicken pot pie.

Why is it when people demand proof of God’s existence. You have to have faith, is an acceptable religious defense?

But when people demand proof that God told me to kill those kids. You have to have faith, isn’t an acceptable legal defense?

I’m sick of double standards.

I like to play hide and seek with my flatmates

I hide cameras and they seek legal retribution

What do you call a vacuum that interferes with the legal system?

Obsuction of justice

What do you call an online lawyer

E-legal

Can you believe marijuana is still illegal in Jamaica?

Bob Marley must be rolling in his grave.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.