How do you throw an egg againts a brick wall without breaking it?

It doesn’t matter, there is no way an egg would actually break brick wall.

MY gf said we where breaking up , i was confused

Then i went out and the signal was lot clearer

Breaking News: The CEO of IKEA has been elected Prime Minister of Sweden.

He's currently assembling his cabinet.

Mick Jagger and Keith Richards were arrested for allegedly breaking into a Spanish man's house

They reportedly took some of his belongings (only what they could carry). When the police asked the homeowner about it, he said "They took what they could, but then.... The Rolling Stones gathered no más."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In breaking news, Trump’s personal library has burned down.

The fire consumed both books and in a tragic twist, he hadn’t even finished coloring the second one.





Edit: Wow! Thank you for all of the awards, I didn't anticipate that. Some people need to relax though. This is just a freakin' joke, not the agenda of a movement.

Also,...

Breaking news: EA has been hacked

Apparently the hackers have stolen some 780GB of data. EA insists no player data has been compromised.

They said it's in the game.

Breaking: Donald Trump has just won another state.

Denial.

Breaking News - Devon and Cornwall Music Festival

The Devon and Cornwall Music Festival due to take place this weekend has had to be cancelled. They couldn't decide who to put on first, The Jam or Cream

The United Kingdom is breaking up!

Soon it will be the Untied Kingdom.

Breaking bad

I was talking to someone about Breaking Bad and they asked me if I remembered who Hector Salamanca was, I told them that he rings a bell

I decided against breaking into the Home Depot to steal their largest egg beater...

It was too big a whisk

Breaking News: police station toilet stolen

Cops have nothing to go on.

In breaking news, Trump’s personal library has burned down.

The fire consumed both books and in a tragic twist he hadn’t even finished coloring the second one.

Breaking news: Germany is advising people to stock up on sausages and cheese.

This is starting to look like the Wurst Käse scenario.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Breaking News: Elon Musk & Bill Gates have joined hands

to make a Penis Enhancer.....They will call it
ELONGATES

Breaking: English to be made the official language of the EU!

The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other contender. Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had room for improvement and has therefore accepted a five-year phasing in of "Euro-E...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy said to his girlfriend before breaking up, "A relationship is like a fart."

"How is that?" She mockingly said.
He then replied, "If you have to force it, it's probably crap anyway."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

BREAKING NEWS: A man was presented into the ER after shoving 6 plastic horses up his ass...

Doctors say that his condition is stable.

What was the most ground-breaking invention in human history?

The shovel

My girlfriend messaged me to say she’s breaking up with me because I’m too childish. So I marched over to her house, rang her door bell and ran away

That’ll teach her

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

BREAKING NEWS Thieves have allegedly broken into the laboratory at Pfizer to try and steal the new Covid-19 vaccine...

They apparently took a case of viagra instead. The police are looking for a group of hardened criminals.

Name a ground breaking invention

A shovel

My boyfriend was breaking up with me and started to walk out the door

So I jammed my knee into his stomach.

“You can’t leave, I kneed you”

Did you hear about the guy breaking into peoples houses and drinking all their coffee?

I don't know how he sleeps at night!!

Some protestors are breaking into congress

I hear it is a capitol offense

There's only one thing that keeps me from breaking you in half....

I just don't want 2 of you around.

Breaking News: Supreme court has ruled that basic intelligence tests for Election voting is Discriminatory.

The judge said that it is unfair to block all Republicans from voting.

SpaceX have developed a new type of rocket that can fly to the moon in record-breaking time.

It's a regular rocket, with "GME" written on it.

BREAKING NEWS: Missing Child Spotted With Pied Piper Of Hamelin

More to follow

BREAKING NEWS: There was an explosion at the local cheese factory!

Da Brie is everywhere.

Breaking news: Conspiracy against trump confirmed.

In a recent study of ballots it has become apparent that there was in fact a Conspiracy during the election.

Turns out it was way worse than the Republicans first thought though, it is now believed that a massive conspiracy involving some 81 million American adults conspired together against ...

Breaking News: Local Kindergarten reports major Peek-a-Boo accident.

All involved were rushed to the ICU

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

BREAKING NEWS: A shipment of Viagra has just been stolen

The police are still on the lookout for the hardened criminals

Rockstar Just Annouced A GTA Spinoff About Breaking And Entering

Its called GTFO

Breaking News: Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan and North Korea to send a joint expeditionary force...

...to Washington D.C. in order to bring peace, democracy and the rule of law to the troubled nation of United States of America.

BREAKING NEWS: The president was found in his office after trying to commit suicide, his statement:

"Fake noose."

Breaking News: Energizer Bunny Arrested

Charged with battery

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

BREAKING: A new drug is being trialled to increase semen output.

More to come.

BREAKING: North Korean leader in a vegetative state following surgery.

They've begun calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive

Breaking News: Putin orders full investigation and promises severe punishment for whoever poisoned opposition politician Navalny...

insufficiently.

Breaking News

Local police are seeking a shoplifter who attacked a store this lunch time but was tackled by a have-a-go shopkeep with his labelling gun.

Officers say they're seeking a man with a price on his head.

- RIP Ronnie Corbett.

How do you keep an egg from breaking when throwing it at a wall?

Leave it inside the chicken.

A crow was caught recently breaking quarantine laws.

They charged him with attempted murder.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man has a habit of starting every morning by breaking wind.

Of course, his wife finds this habit disgusting, and even as she asks him to stop, he only snickers, continuing the habit every morning.

After one of the husband's daily bouts of morning flatulence, the woman tells him that if he continues to fart every morning, his intestines will come out ...

Breaking News

This just in, world renowned artist Paul Jacobson has been disqualified from this year's Animal Photography Championship due to use of performance enhancing drugs.

This determined after the discovery of polaroids smuggled within his travel bag.

Mario is breaking up with Princess Peach

Peach: Is it me? Is it my fault?


Mario: No, it's-a not-a you, it's-a me, Mario!

Engineers gonna engineer

A scientist, a mathematician, and an engineer end up stranded on a small island inhabited by some very reclusive locals. They find themselves in jail the next day for breaking some obscure law that nobody can really explain.

They're sentenced to death. Not that their "crime" was all that sev...

BREAKING: North Korea announces breakthrough 100% effective COVID-19 treatment

Sources report the new treatment involves injecting a bullet into the forehead of people infected with the virus.

A man brings his kid with him to his office for take your kid to work day

The kid is intrigued, looking around at all the cubicles, seemingly looking for something



sfter about thirty minutes the kid begins breaking down and crying and running around, looking all over, the man comes over to comfort his kid, and asks him what’s wrong



“daddy, w...

BREAKING NEWS: Man arrested due to possessing a stolen calendar

He got twelve months

Breaking news :NASA wants first person to reach Mars, to be a woman.

So that when men arrive, dinner would be ready.

Have you guys heard about the new jackhammer?

It’s ground breaking technology

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Gorilla Hunting *long*

A very rich man decides that he is going to take a trip to Africa to hunt the legendary Great White Gorilla. But as he has no hunting experience, he places an ad to hire a hunting guide. Days go by and no one answers his ad. The man is scheduled to leave for his trip in 2 days and still not a single...

A man is giving relationship advice via calls

A man is giving relationship advice via calls to a friend

Friend: i don't want to leave her, i really care abo-

He replies: I can't hear you, you're breaking up

Breaking News

Vinn Diesel is now married to the voice actor who voiced Ariel in Disney’s The Little Mermaid. They wanted a big, luxurious wedding but with everything going on they opted for a small, private ceremony. Not because of Corona Virus; but because they didn’t want anyone catching a Vinn-Ariel disease.

Why will the President stop breaking the law next week?

...

Because he’ll be a-Biden

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Breaking: CNN legal analyst caught masturbating on a Zoom call

Guess you could say he just couldn't keep his Toobin his pants

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A well-dressed man, complete with top hat and monocle, walks into a bar.

The bartender, who has seen it all, pours the dapper gentleman two fingers of their top-shelf 25-year-old scotch. Just as the man begins nursing the peaty, smoky booze, a rabbi, a priest, and a minister all walk into the bar, arguing about how to prove the existence of their respective Gods.

...

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