Breaking news.

Black guy shot with a starting pistol.

Police think it's race related!!!

How do you know your breaking up with a English teacher?

He says it’s not you it’s I

BREAKING: Robber steals $1m from local bank, French kisses teller, flees.

He made out like a bandit, sources say.

BREAKING: A dyslexic terrorist had stormed the zoo

He has taken 6 ostriches

Breaking news: The police arrested a battery and a firework

They charged one and let the other one off

Have you heard of the kid who died breaking ore?

He was so young. Only a miner.

BREAKING: Stevie Wonder suffers major laceration in horrible accident

The wound too big for regular stitches, doctors were forced to use very super stitches

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the worst thing bout breaking up with a japanese girl?

You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it

In breaking news

Corduroy pillows are making head lines.

Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend were apprehended in the act of breaking into the kennels and setting the inhabitants free. I guess that makes it official.

The Who let the dogs out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

BREAKING NEWS!! .. Man hospitalized with 6 plastic horses up his ass

Doctors describe his condition as stable

There are rumours that the reason I'm leaving the company is because I was fired for breaking the windshield of my boss's Honda car...

the truth is... It's of my own Accord

Breaking News: Wal-Mart to close 400 stores in the US

Sources say it would put 12 cashiers out of work

A farmer is trying to grow hydroponic potatoes, but he starts them in test tubes. This results in the potatoes being long with a round bulge at the top, so they look like male genitals.

The farmer tries to sell them to anyone and eventually even posts them online, where he surprisingly starts getting more orders than he can fill; and all from Russia. He’s surprised but grows another batch and they sell out again. He starts worrying there might be something illegal going on so he go...

What do you say to a blacksmith who's angry about breaking his sword

Ooh, temper temper!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man very sadly died recently after breaking into a brewery and falling into a vat of beer

However, the police are treating his death as suspicious as the CCTV footage shows him getting out 3 times to take a piss.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

a list of puns!

Here's a list of puns I've been collecting:

How do you throw a space party? You planet.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

Nope. Unintended.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.

A scarecrow says,...

Breaking news: Philadelphia Cream Cheese's New Ad Slams Competitor Brand's product!

It's just a regular smear campaign.

CNN BREAKING NEWS:

Anonymous hero donates hospital 200 human kidneys.

If you spell Breaking Bad backwards, you will get "Dab Gnikaerb"

Which still makes more sense than Game of thrones\` entire season 8

Saw an article about a zebra breaking into someone’s house today

This black on white crime really needs to be stopped

What's worse luck than breaking a mirror?

A Condom, that one might just get you for 18 years or more.

BREAKING : Prison guard responsible for watching Jeffrey Epstein killed in tragic house fire

Time of death was 11:26am, tomorrow.

Lately I've been so worried about condoms breaking...

So I decided to stop using them.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

*BREAKING NEWS* A baby is born without eyelids, and doctors use his foreskin to replace them.

The surgery was a success. The baby should make a full recovery, but he will always be a little cockeyed.

What do you call a bird so sick, it's breaking the law?

Ill eagle

The shovel is a ground breaking invention, but it was the invention of the broom that truly swept the nation by storm. However, the invention of the wheel got things rolling...

And I’m just here wondering why our feet smell and our nose run...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend told me "I'm breaking up with you because you keep slapping my ass to see it jiggle"

I said "Fine. I hope the door hits you on your way out"

#Breaking news

A clown recently had to retire earlier this week.
#
After sustaining an injury, the clown was found to have broken his funny bone.
#
Looks like he got the last laugh.

My girlfriend texted me that we were breaking up.

I was relieved when she said, “Sorry, wrong number.”

God calls Satan.

"Hey, I think we misplaced an engineer and he ended up in Hell."

"Yeah, Carl. Been doing a wonderful job. We finally got an AC system up and running and the heaters are fixed. He even designed an auto-poker for the pitchfork teams."

"Send him back here, he belongs in Heaven."

"Y...

Breaking Bad Joke

Walter: Hi Skyler, got us some breadsticks and pizza

Skyler: How much do I owe you.

Walter: It’s on the house.

Breaking News: Cheese factory explosion!

De Brie everywhere.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.