UPJOKE
argentinaboliviachili peppersouth americabrazilandes mountainsitalyperucubaantarcticaspanish languagerussiajalapenospainsantiago

How are Chile mining companies and catholic priests different?

Chile mining companies get their minors stuck in shafts while catholic priests get their shafts stuck in minors

I've heard that Argentina is starting to get a little colder...

In fact, it's bordering on Chile

You're probably Ghana think"no one will Bolivia. There's just Norway."

I thought I Kuwait but then I Saudi Turkey, Iraq of ribs and a Canada best sauce and my Bahrain was like Oman, I Israel Hungary... so Iran to the kitchen to put Greece in the pan.

I hoped it could get Finnish quickly and because I was Russian, I didn't Czech the label and accidentally added ...

What's some good advice if you're going into the Andes Mountains?

Bring a jacket, it's pretty Chile.

Did you know Argentina can get quite cold?

It can even border on Chile!

I don't like the climate in some South American countries

I find it a bit Chile

I was Hungary so Iran to the store to get some Turkey

Which I cooked in Greece, and served with a side of Chile, which I ate with my friends Jordan and Chad. Sudanly we had Togo because we were Ghana get in trouble because we didn’t Finnish paying. But I’ve Benin trouble before, there was Norway they were going to catch me, I Congo much faster than the...

How cold is the coldest country in South America?

I don't know but it's probably very Chile.

My girlfriend dropped this on me after some Tex-Mex last night ...

"I'm chilly"

She steps closer and takes my hand

"Will you be my con queso?"

And before I could even respond ...

"Sorry, was that too cheesy for you?"

I'm Hungary

Timmy: I'm Hungary,

Mum: Why don't you Czech the fridge.

Timmy: OK I'm Russian to the kitchen.

Mum: Hmmm.. may be you'll find some Turkey.

Timmy: Yeah but its all covered in Greece. yuck!

Mum: There is Norway you can eat that.

Timmy: I know, I guess I'...

Why did the jalapeno put on a sweater?

Because he was a little chile

It's recommended you dress warmly in the Andes Mountains.

That place is Chile.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A well-traveled man goes to a strip club

When he gets a lap dance from one of the strippers, he asks if she is Chilean

‘Yes, I am!’ she says ‘How did you know?’

‘Well’ says the man ‘Much like Chile, you are tall and slim’

He later gets a lap dance from another stripper, and asks if she is Swiss

‘Yes, I am!’ she ...

Why do jalapeños wear jackets?

They're just a little chile.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Latvian, ...

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Latvian, a Welshman (fuckin Welsh), a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentine, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian,...

So, I was at the UN headquarters...

So, I was at the UN headquarters and I was feeling a bit Hungary, so I was Russian to the kitchen to get a slice of Turkey, but it was covered in Greece. There's Norway I'm eating that, so I got some Chile instead. Something just Francy enough for me.

How do you end world hunger?

Put Turkey in Greece to cook it, then cut it up and put it into Chile. Then put it on China and give it to Hungary.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blonde participates in the television show Who wants to be a millionaire...

The TV host asks her the following questions:

1st
How long did the 100-year war last?

a) 116 years
b) 99 years
c) 100 years
d) 150 years

The blonde chooses to use the opportunity not to respond.

2nd
In which country did you find the Panama Cabin?

a) ...

One of my work friends just got back from Santiago.

He told me that it was nice but it was really Chile down there.

I went to the new European place for a Big lunch, and I was Hungary.

I had turkey Chile, but they cooked it with too much Greece so I Only Italytle bit. Chatted about this with the waiter and he was cool so we became France. He brought the bill and I said I'd be Spain' cash. He said he likes a man who pays cash and winked at me. I said, "Ukrainezy man? Norway!" And I...

My 8 year old cousin asked me if I wanted to hear a joke

Amanda: "I want to tell you a joke. Okay:
A snowman wants to go on vacation.
He wants to go to Chile because he thinks it will be chilly--BUT--he actually lands in a bowl of chilli.
Then he dies."

I feel like I've eaten three countries!

...namely Turkey, Chile and Greece.

The Calbuco volcano is very hot right now...

But everything around it is Chile.

Why does no one swim in the western coast of South America?

Because the water is Chile

Identical twins were put up for adoption and separated at birth...

...20 years later, their biological parents decided to find and meet them.

After many hours of research, they discovered that one child had been adopted by a middle-eastern family and had been named Amal Allamedan, while the other boy had been adopted by a family in Chile and had been named...

A student is preparing for a vet school exam and has left it to the last minute...

With no chance in hell in of passing, he procrastinates by picking a random topic about animals from Wikipedia and starts reading. By the time he's finished (wasting lots of time looking up related articles) it's too late to read about anything else.

In the oral exam the student picks a quest...

Is she Hungary?

"Is she Hungary?" Jimmy asked.

"Alaska," said Johnny.

"Yes, Siam," she replied.

"All right. I'll Fiji," Jimmy offered.

"Oh, don't Russia " Johnny admonished.

"What if she Whales?" Jimmy demanded.

"Give her a Canada Chile," Johnny suggested.

"I'd rathe...

If you're leaving the U.S. Embassy in Santiago, make sure to put on a jacket...

It's Chile outside.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Food and Country

Yesterday I was so Hungary, I decided to Czech if there was any food.
I was Russian to the fridge, but found only a Turkey full of Greece.
Iran to the store to get some salt, pepper, Chile and Korea-nder, because I was in the mood for some Sweden sour.
I found Iraq of pork chops but there w...

I love the smell of blown out matches...

Chile vs Mexico was a real treat!

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