Hugh Laurie just got his American citizenship!

He now goes by "Hugh Truck"

I was applying for Australian citizenship and the interviewer asked, “Do you have a criminal record?”

I said, “No. Is that still required?”

Getting married was the best thing I ever did

I never would have passed that citizenship test.

I was applying for Australian citizenship, and the guy asks me "have you ever been convicted of a felony?"

"Does stealing a joke count?" I asked.

A Mexican man is taking his US citizenship test and is at the speaking portion.

The proctor says to him "I want you to use pink, yellow, and green in the same sentence."

The man thinks for a bit and finally says, "The phone go green green, I pink it up and say 'Yellow?'"

I just passed my Canadian citizenship test.

I got an Eh plus.

Three chinese men applied for citizenship in USA

They were accepted on the condition that they changed their names.

Bu became Buck.

Chu became Chuck.

And Fu went back to China.

When you apply for American citizenship...

When you apply for American citizenship, you have to write a short paper about yourself. Or in other words,

A you essay

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In medieval times in Rome, the Pope, influenced by some conservative advisers, decided to expel all Jews from the city

The Pope, not wanting to seem as forcing his decision on the Jews, allowed a debate to be held so the Jews could defend their citizenship.

That night, the Jewish Rabbis gathered in the synagogue to decide who will debate against the Pope. However none of the Rabbis wanted to debate against hi...

two foreigners in america are applying for citizenship

They're lined up outside the Citizenship and immigration office, along with many others, not wanting to risk deportation now that Trump is in office.

>Guy #1: I've had enough of this waiting, save my place, I'm going to shoot Donald Trump myself.

several hours later he returns.
<...

A Cuban man dies and goes to Hell

There, the devil informs him that every country has its own hell. However, as he had dual citizenship, he could choose which Hell he wanted to be sent: American Hell or Cuban Hell.

He visits the American Hell first. At the door, he finds George Bush Senior.

“Excuse me, mr president, ...

Can one get Slovenian citizenship through a spouse?

Asking for a President.

Trump, Merkel and Kim Jong-un are in the Middle East being chased by ISIS:

Trump turns to them and shouts: "Stop chasing us and I'll pay you a million dollars!" The terrorists continued.

Then Merkel turns to them and shouts: "Stop chasing us and I'll give you German citizenship!" The terrorists still kept chasing.

Then Kim Jong-un turns and shouts: "You are a...

German Hell and Italian Hell

Mario Schultz dies. He was an awful person, therefore he goes straight to Hell where he stands in front of the Devil.

"Welcome to Hell, mr. Schultz" says the Devil "it occured to me that you have both german and italian citizenships: according to ILODAD (International Law On Destination After...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Policeman & The Hispanic

It’s around the holiday season and Bob the policeman is scheduled to work. He decides to set up a speed trap at his favorite roadway in Arkansas.

It’s been a few hours and Bob hasn’t seen a single driver. Just then, suddenly a pickup truck flies past him doing well over double the speed limit...

Three men are trying to enter America for the first time

and are coming from Germany, China, and the Dominican Republic. They are told that they can become a citizen if they use the words green, pink, and yellow in a sentence.

The German is up first. He says, “I love looking at pink and yellow flowers in the green grass, it looks beautiful.” His s...

Trump says Muslims don't integrate.

He should have them take Calculus tests instead of Citizenship tests.

I applied to a citizen of Finland

In the online application there was an odd question. "Are you a nice guy", it said, I thought it was an odd question but I clicked yes. Immediately I was directed to a page saying I was directed to the back of the queue for citizenship, I was confused but I read later in the application and it said....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Long] Vinny comes to America

A man named Vinny comes to America from Italy and applies for citizenship. To become an American citizen Vinny has to go to court and stand in front of a judge.

Vinny brings his whole family to the courtroom to cheer him on. They are a very loud and rambunctious Italian family.
Vinny stand...

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