*Farmer's market* Wife: I'm buying these vegetables for my husband. Have you sprayed these with any poisonous chemicals?

Farmer: No madam, you'll have to do that yourself.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy goes to Doc because his dick is orange.

A guy goes to the doctor because his dick is orange;

Doctor looks at it and say, “yep, it’s orange alright”

Guy says, “why is it orange doc? What could it be?”

Doc thinks for a minute… then asks the guy, “do you work around dyes or paints or anything like that?”

Guy says,...

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On the sixth day

**ON THE SIXTH DAY... **

**God Creating Spiders**

God: Make it have 8 legs

Angel: Seems excessive but OK

God: And 8 eyes

Angel: You need to calm down a li-

God: Give it a bum rope

**God Creating Kittens**

God: make them fluffy & adorable li...

In mother amarica you remove the polish with chemicals.

In fatherland germany we remove the Polish with chemicals.

Hey mate do you know what are the chemicals symbols for sodium, bromine and oxygen?

Na BrO !

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When a women removes polish with chemicals,no one bats an eye.

But when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, everyone loses their shit.

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Girls use chemicals to remove polish and, no one bats an eye

Hitler uses chemicals to remove Polish, and everyone loses their mind

Edit: NSFW was requested

Edit: yes, this is a repost. Sharing the laughs.

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The high school student spent most of his afternoons in the basement mixing chemicals.

One day his father went
down lo find his son surrounded by racks of
test tubes and pounding something into the
wall. "Danny, don't put nails in the wall," his
father admonished.
"It's not a nail, Dad' the young man explained. "It's a worm. I found a formula that
turns things as har...

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I was talking to my therapist about my irrational fear of few chemicals.

Me: So, I'm afraid of hydroxyl groups.

Therapist: Oh.

Me: aaahhh...

Larry, the Chemical Engineer

Larry was a chemical engineer who worked for DuPont Chemicals and who was brilliant at his job. He’d been the main guy responsible for developing Kevlar and a host of other really great plastics and polymers.

However, it had been quite a while between new developments and so the VP of Researc...

A colleague of mine fell into a vat of chemicals.

Ironically, his quick reaction killed him.

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A girl uses chemicals to remove the polish, and it's fine.

I use chemicals to remove the Polish, and I'm suddenly a nazi?

Where do chemicals come from?

The chemistree.




yeah i wanna die

My wife asked me to buy organic vegetables from the market, so I went and looked around and couldn’t find any. I grabbed an old, tired looking employee and asked, “These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?”

The produce guy looked at me and said, “No. You’ll have to do that yourself.”

What chemicals are best for keeping men away?

Deter-gents.

The nun's old outfit

A nun noticed that the outfit she had worn for twenty years was faded, so she got some plants and chemicals and tried to change the color, but no matter how many times she tried, the color stayed the same.

Old habits dye hard.

Are you at all concerned that the heights of vegetables are rapidly increasing due to the amount of chemicals used on them?

No, I don't carrot tall.

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Guy goes to the Doctors.

Guy: I need you to look at my Penis, it has turned orange.

Doctor: Wow, I have never seen anything like this, do you

work with chemicals at all.?

Guy: No I don't work anymore.

Doctor: So what do you do then.?

Guy: Watch porn all day and eat Wotsits and Cheetos.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A pathologist is teaching her class how to do autopsies

The students are taken to the morgue and once in there they are shown the corpse of a dead man. The cadaver is bloated and old, several traumatic wounds are visible, its skin is pale and dried and the faint smell of chemicals and rot emanates from him.

"To become a good pathologist you need t...

You know, the people saying that GMO's contain "chemicals" aren't wrong.

You just probably shouldn't tell them the entire Earth is made of the stuff.

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Tommy was 4 when his little brother was born. Tommy was pissed.

His life was suddenly turned upside down. Everyone was too busy doting on little Timmy to notice him anymore, everyone was like "Timmy this, Timmy that, Timmy's the best kid ever". Even his parents seemed to have forgotten about him. Tommy began to go deep into depression, but nobody seemed to care,...

A fire breaks out at a large chemical plant.....

...and is blazing violently out of control. Engine companies from all over the city keep rolling in to fight the fire, but it keeps growing worse and worse. Storage tanks are exploding and warehouses full of toxic chemicals are burning so hot the firemen keep getting pushed further and further back....

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