Hydrogen Jokes

Made me so wet.

His mother comes down to the police station to bail him out. She is met by the detective working the case.

I don’t understand it, says the mother. Hydrogen was always a good kid. I never had any problems til he met oxygen.

Don’t worry, says the detective. The situation is fluid but he... read more

One says, “I think I’ve lost an electron

.”The other says, “Are you sure?”

The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive.”

Drinking.

Sounds like a lot of FON.

The bartender says: "OH SNaP"

It's called H 2.0

HONK

Because they are formyl group.

Two chemists walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get you?"
The first chemist responds, "I'd like some H2O."
The second chemists says, "I'd like some H2 — wait, we aren't at work, why'd you say it like that? I'd like some water too, please."
The first chemist mutters to himself,... read more

but NaH

HNDNBRG

Hydrogen: Hey I was thinking about starting a business about electrons and wanted to ask if you wanted to be a partner

Carbon: Sure! I’ve got nothing to lose!

Sodium reacted violently.

They jump on a plane to Switzerland and sneak in while no one is looking. As they start to speed up one of them realises that they have both lost their electrons. It mentions it to his friend who asks "Are you sure?"

It replys "I'm positive."

*Asking the Chemistry teacher to play Santa this year seemed to have backfired*

They have no electrons.

...it went ok.

Oxygen and magnesium went on a date.

The other chemicals were like 'omg'!

Two noble gases went on a date.

There was no reaction.

Two protons went on a date.

There was no attraction.

Hydrogen and chlorine went on a date.

They felt... read more

They go up to the bartender, Germanium, and start to order their drinks, but soon realise they are short on cash.

Hydrogen says to Germanium, "Hey man, we've had a long week, bonding is hard. If we can make you laugh, can we drink for free tonight?"

Germanium thinks about it for a min... read more

First, he asks his mom, Sodium. He knows that she is very strict and she will probably say no.

"Na," she says, exactly what he expects

He decides to ask his dad. He is much less strict, and was in a good mood. Maybe he can let Hydrogen go to the party.

"k," he says

Scientists still can’t determine how much is needed for your mother though

Ammoooaaanium

Feeling adventurous, they approach her and ask "Hey baby, can we interest you in a waterway?"

The rest of the elements are denser.

They hold an *electron*.

Because when they ask someone to hangout with them, everyone says NaH dude.

The bartender says, "'Water' you doing here?"

This came up in a recent RPG session. It's terrible, but I loved it too much not to post.

RuH-ROH.

Oxygen U played Hydrogen Tech and the game had just begun,

when Hydrogen racked up two quick scores while Oxygen still had none.

Then Oxygen scored a single run and thus it did remain,

at Hydrogen 2, Oxygen 1, called because of rain.

Because he wanted to see him Sulfur.

Hair

Helium didn't react.

What did the hydrogen atom say to the helium atom:

release my family

Enough to break the ice, how's it going?

So the Hydrogen Brothers are a gas, but are known to get a reaction from Governor Adam Oxygen.

Well, the law is on alert when they enter that state.

If they find themselves introduced to the agents, they're asked,

"Water you doing here?"

One oxygen buffalo and two hydrogen buffalos.

A genius high school chemistry student takes a test, gets his score back and is dismayed to find that he missed exactly one question and thus would not be accepted to his university of choice. He is especially bummed because the question he missed was “How many valence electrons does a Hydrogen atom... read more

The man died of ingesting hydrogen peroxide.

He does some research on certain posts and discovers that they are made up of atoms.

After some thought, he concludes that the posts at the top of r/all contain mostly hydrogen atoms, because hydrogen is the lightest element, so these posts naturally rise to the top. He decides to name these ... read more

H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking

I’m trying to find the best chemistry jokes but all the good ones argon


Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

It would have been OK, if Potassium hadn't come first.

Bonus: Oxygen, Hydrogen, and Carbon always wear their best suits when they get together. They're a formyl group.

The man, a chemist, was surprised at the secret ingredients that made it so delicious: sodium, carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen.

“Now I just need to give it a name…” he thought.

Suddenly, a burglar dropped out of nowhere and snagged the vat of cheesy goodness!

“STOP!” the man shoute... read more

What do you call a cool mushroom?...A fun guy!!!

A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron. "For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"

A guy walks into a restaurant, and takes a seat. Acr... read more

Sulfur, Tungsten, Iodine, Technetium, and Hydrogen.

single and abundant

"Doctor, I don't feel thirst and keep finding myself always dehydrated". "Drink 8 glasses of fluid a day as a guideline" adviced the doctor.

"Can I count in fruit juice?" asked the man. "Since they do contain a bit of sugar, don't forget to supplement the fluid intake with H20 too" replied th... read more

"I'll have your finest aged H2O2.", says the first.

"I'll have the same H2O2, too.", says the second.



The bartender served them both water because he paid attention in chemistry class and understood the decomposition process of hydrogen peroxide.

2 hydrogen atoms are going at it, the one H atom says to the other, this is boring there’s no spark anymore, we should do something about this. The one hydrogen atom thinks about his friend oxygen atom, calls him up and tells him what’s up. So oxygen atom comes over and him and hydrogen atom start t... read more