The 60+ Best Product Jokes

The day Microsoft makes a product that doesn't suck...

Is the day they make a vacuum cleaner.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do Chinese people love IPhones and Apple products?

Because the greatest gifts are the ones your children made.

(inspired by u/lorenzomofo 's comment on a
r/nextfuckinglevel post)

Twenty years from now, kids are gonna think "Baby it's cold outside" is really weird, and we're gonna have to explain that it has to be understood as a product of its time.

You see, it used to get cold outside

When I was young, I thought rich people owned Bose music systems and the rest of us had Sony products.

Turns out those were just stereotypes.

Why are vampires very bad Product Managers?

Because they refuse to meet with stake holders

What do you call a factory that makes okay products?

A satisfactory....

What's the product name if Apple started making drones?

iSoar

(inspired by ImpulseSV)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when you get your dick stuck in an Apple product?

A Steve Job

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The best rule for productivity.

Since 2 yrs of my life I am following the 20-20-20 rule. Which is best for productivity and peace of mind.

I find it more calming then ever. Also I have gained lot of confidence in myself when fighting in this wild jungle I call life.

Even you can apply this to your life and get bette...

Testing products on animals

Guy: We need to stop testing our products on animals

Boss: Why? Shampoo companies do that all the time.

Guy: Ya. But we make hammers.

What is Pavlov's favorite hair product?

Conditioner

Apple is moving its production facilities from China to Thailand.

Say hello to iPad Thai.

When people ask me about the product I sell I tell them people are dying to use it.

When I tell them it's life insurance, they look at me funny.

A new product idea

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Have you decided what you want for Christmas?" the bartender asks. "Yeah, I think I really would like one of those mind-controlled air fresheners," the guy replies. "It just makes sense when you think about it."

Apple is releasing a new product called the iKnife.

It's cutting edge technology.

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What’s the difference between Barbie and Oppenheimer?

Barbie product first manufactured in Japan and released in America.
Oppenheimer product first manufactured in America and release in Japan.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What product got the longest standing ovation after its presentation?

Viagra

What would you call a hair product that was marketing batman?

Conditioner Gordon.

The Washington Redskins are changing the team name because of all the negativity, shame, humiliation, dissent, polarity, adversity, defiance, animosity, contempt, discrimination, division, counter-productivity and hostility associated with their name.

....from now on they will be known simply as the Redskins.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A company that sells nails decides to start advertising their product...

A company that sells nails decides to start advertising their product.

Their CEO goes to an ad agency to inquire about creating a large billboard downtown. He meets with an account executive and explains his need: "We have a good business, but I just feel like most people have never heard of ...

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Elon Musk and Bill Gates created a penis enlargement product.

They called it Elongate.

Said a fellow in liquor production ...

Said a fellow in liquor production

“I’ve a still of ingenious construction

the alcohol boils

through old magnet coils

I’ve dubbed it my Proof by Induction”

What's the difference between a product made in Mexico and a product made in America?

One is made by a Mexican, while the other is made by a Mexican immigrant.

Apple just announced their next groundbreaking product

The iShovel

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Elmo production is now screwed

So, a little old retired lady applies to the Elmo production facility for a new job listed as "Quality Control". She reports to work on Monday and by 10AM, the production line is at a standstill. The manager goes out to see what the heck is going on. He sees her at the end of the line with a whole c...

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Very bad product name

Did you guys hear that Apple scrapped its idea for an iPod touch for children when they realized that iTouch Kids would be a bad product name?

I had decided to be a different person and be productive

But the other person turned out to be unproductive too......

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the name of Trump's new Viagra product?

'RIGGED ERECTION!!!'

Did you hear about the bandits smuggling feminine hygiene products down the river?

They're a real bunch of douche canoes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know? In Marseille, they actually give you a certificate with every souvenir you buy, as a means of demonstrating that it's a genuine product of southern France.

It's proven Provence province provenance.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did Dr. Watson name the product he invented to successfully cure his partner’s chronic diarrhea?

No shit Sherlock

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What product is actually great even though it sounds like scammy shit?

Shampoo.

I've just been randomly flicking through the Acme Products website.

There seems to be an awful lot of negative feedback comments by user 'Wile E. Coyote'.

One of my coworkers got fired for putting dangerous substances in the products.

I don’t think it was completely his fault though. He did asbestos he could.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

New Apple Product Announcement: The iBra

Apple announced a new product: a bra that can store and play music. The iBra. The product is being praised as a step toward better relations between men and women. It is intended to address the complaints of women about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

Apple fitness products don't work.

I tried the iHop and it only made me gain weight.

I heard people are getting paid to mention companies and do product placement in their Reddit posts!

That's almost as crazy as the discounts at Jez's Furniture Emporium. Sale this weekend

An Alabama tech company asked me to test their competing product to Tinder…

I just don’t get how I’m supposed to find a date by swiping right on the shower curtain in my family’s shared bathroom.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

-Sir, there are people protesting our products outside because of our animal testing.

-I'm tired of all this hypocrisy …big pharma and cosmetics test their products on animals all the time…
-Yes sir, but we make dildos.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s one product Microsoft can never put their name on?

Boner Pills !

Monday and Tuesday are my most productive days

After that, it’s WTF

Before Darryl Hall's music career took off he was an over the road driver for Quaker Products.

He was literally haul'n oats.

What is Thanos' favorite dairy product?

Half and Half

Product testing

Manager : Guys we need to stop testing on animals
Supervisor : But Shampoo companies have been doing it for years
Manager : Yeah, but we make hydraulic presses.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Miami Marlins are no longer allowed to use the pain relief product Bengay in their clubhouse.

They must only use Benstraight from now on.

What do you call an MLM with a product that's actually worth buying?

A cartel.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The latest product out is Viagra-infused whisky.

It's for people that need a stiff drink.

In solidarity with much of the world pulling Russian products off the shelves ...

In solidarity with much of the world pulling Russian products off the shelves and banning them from events, I will do my part and not play Russian Roulette for the foreseeable future.

Apple wanted to launch a new product directed at children.

In retrospect, it was probably not the best idea to call it "iTouch Kids".

Damn girl are you an apple product?

Because you’re expensive and useless

Did you hear that they're making a Broadway production based off the dictionary?

It's a play on words.

A cruel and spiteful restauranteur whose restaurants only served Pepsi products, died suddenly, and was shocked to find himself in heaven

As he approached the pearly gates, St Peter cheerily asked, “Would hell be OK instead?”

Apple made a new tablet computer catered towards children but had to abandon the product before it hit the market...

... market research deemed that "iTouch Kids" didn't go well with the target audience.

I've got a job making plastic dracular figures but there's only two of us on the production line.

I have to make every second count

Pearl Jam just came out with a product that regulates women’s periods

They’re calling it Even Flow

Where do tyrants shop for palace improvement products?

Home Despot

My employer has recently started testing their products on animals.

I guess it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't work for a hammer factory.

What did fruit loops say when launching their product to compete with cheerios?

Toucan play at that game

An Apple Factory in China is expected to cut production of iPhones by 18% in response to ongoing worker protests.

The workers' main demand is "more playtime".

I used to work in a car wash, but I wasn't very productive.

In hindsight, it probably wasn't the most practical place for a painter.

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