1960s Batman Phase (Original Joke Fight Me Reposters)

A director wanted to make a movie about Batman, but sadly D.C. wouldn't allow him to film it. So he decided he will just make the movie but instead of using the character's real names he would just take away the last letter of their names. Batman became Batma and he fought crime with his trusty part...

All children go through a phase of saying "no" to everything.

For german children it's the age of "nein".

As a child I was obsessed with the difference between cosine and sine

As I got older I realized it was just a phase

Help! My son admitted to us that he identifies as a crescent. What do I do?

My wife says it’s just a phase...

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People go through 3 phases

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hangi...

Whenever I think back to my emo phase

I get PTxD

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I was going through a hostile phase in my high-school So I stood up and asked my teacher " When are we going to use this!?"

She got so mad that she threw the model vagina at my face..

Mom says it's just a phase..

..but I really want to become an electrician.

what's it called when you remember your emo phase and cringe?

PTxD

Replacing German Language with English

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has ac...

My nephew is in the 'why' phase of his life as a 6 year old...

and I told him 'Because it feels nice and you're an unreliable witness!'

I just made this up and I'm drunk, so by all means, make it better.

A new moon walks into a bar. Says "Bartender, whatever. It's all futile."
Bartender says, "Why the dark mood?"
Moon says, "It's probably just a phase."

A man goes through 4 phases when its christmas in his life.

Kid - he believes in santa

Teenager - he stopped believing in santa

Dad - he is santa

Granddad - he looks like santa

I went through a Skrillex phase

I had to stop though. It got expensive dropping everything all the time!

A microwave gave birth to 2 identical twins.

They had no phase difference.

Why is the moon so grumpy?

It's just going through one of its phases...

what phase is it called when a man with a fedora and trenchcoat realise they look stupid

M'aturity

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RE-RE-RE-REMIX - So there was this professional assassin that charged $10,000 per bullet...

*This is a parody because the original is posted almost daily*

So there was this professional assassin that charged $10,000 per bullet

A guy comes up to him in the bar one day and says, “Are you the guy who charges $10,000 a bullet?”

“Yup”

“What if you miss?”

He lo...

A dangerous surge of electricity walks into a bar.

The barman says "why the long phase?"

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I realised today that as a straight male in my mid twenties, having been single for multiple years and surrounded myself with other men, I'd never taken the opportunity to take part in the tossing and rolling they did together behind closed doors. My older neighbor told me about it in 2nd grade and

I was fascinated by how far it broke from the concepts of "normalcy" I had been brought up with. He said they'd go for hours exploring with eachother, never leaving the room. Sometimes in middle school I'd walk by a class in the hall and hear a group of them grunting and huffing, occasionally lettin...

A scientist and the Catholic Pope were eating lunch together while discussing the latest news in scientific discovery.

Scientist: Right now, my research team is working on trying to clone insects using gene-replicating techniques.

Pope: That is very interesting! How far have you come along with it?

Scientist: We have engineered the cloning process, now we are going to execute our next phase which is ex...

I’m trying to get my mom to understand my interest in plasma

But she keeps telling me that it’s just a phase

An expecting father

John was always a loving husband. For years he was constantly on beck and call. He never strayed from his wife Marla and Marla adored John. For years and years John and Marla attempted to have children. They went to fertility clinics, they sought guidance from multiple specialists, and even tried al...

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An old joke from my great-grandfather.

*read this in a southern accent*

Our story today takes place back in World War 2, the sequel.

So one day, old Uncle Sam pointed to our friend, a man we'll Bubba, and said "I want you!"
So Bubba, a good man he was, said "alright." And went and joined the army.
The day comes when...

Repainting the White House

There was an open call for repainting the White House and 3 businessmen applied. One was from China, one was from Germany and one was from Albania. The Chinese asked 3 million dollars to do the job, the German asked 7 million and the Albanian asked 9 million. During the selection phase they asked th...

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The Moon came out as gay.

It's just a phase.

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My brother's come out as gay!

I'm pretty sure it's a phase, he's just not thinking straight.

A student places dead last in an important physics test.

He doesn't feel too phased and boasts to his classmates that he can still pass. His teacher later pulls him aside and tells him that he doesn't understand the gravity of the situation.

My crush told me that I was like a brother to her while we were in the car...

We were driving to New York at the time, and about halfway up the east coast she told me I was like a brother to her. She was surprised when I proceeded to turn the car around and drive the other way without even acting phased. She asked "where are we going now?" My only answer was "Alabama."

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Hitler is in his Bunker

One day, Hitler is in his bunker planning his strategy for the next phase of the war when there is a knock at the door. He says "enter" and Goebbels walks in.
"What is it Goebbels? Can't you see I'm busy?!" asks Hitler, clearly irritated.
"Mein Fuhrer," says Goebbels, "I have news. The Itali...

I hear they are putting Donald Trump on the penny.

It's to help motivate us to phase them out over the next four years.

My dog hates the 4th of July

Not because of the fireworks or anything, he's just going through a communist phase right now

Rather than kill it, my girlfriend told me to catch this spider in our kitchen and take him out.

So I did. I got a big ol' jar and put it over him then slid an index card under and flipped. Apply lid to jar, phase one was complete.

Next step, take him out. I opened the door and went outside. I walked across my lawn to the street where my car was parked. I got in my car with my jar-spide...

I used to be interested in mains electricity when I was a kid...

... then, the interest would go away again.

Turns out, it was just a phase.

I've never been a superstitious man, but...

Last night, in my dream, I saw before my eyes a giant number '7'. I woke up at 7:00 am that morning, but that didn't phase me, that's when I always wake up. After going through my routine I notice that I'm 7 minutes ahead of schedule. Peculiar, but hardly supernatural. I hopped in my car and noticed...

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LifeProTip: If your child wants to help name your pet...

..let them pick the middle name. That way if they pick something silly, you can still refer to your pet by the normal name. For example, my 4 year old's rabbit is now named

Peter "floppy-eared-princess" Smith

Similarly, my 15 year old's gecko is named

Freddy "Fuck-you-this-isn...

What did the person that doesn't believe in Plasma say to his father?

"It's not a phase, dad!"

A company develops a machine for evaluating IQ.

The scientists developing it asks for the help of the supervisor, manager and president of the firm to test the machine.


When the supervisor places his head on the machine, it responded: 'IQ 160', and he was very impressed.


When the manager places his head on the machine, it re...

I used to be a science major in college

I was going through an experimental phase

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Pink Ping Pong Ball

A little boy named Marty was born one day to a wealthy family. On Marty's second birthday, his mom asked Marty what he wanted for his birthday. Marty said, "I want a pink ping pong ball!" Mom was confused why Marty wanted pink ping pong balls but agreed to buy them for her son's sake.

Fast f...

An electrician's son removed one wire from each of his father's power plugs.

His father asks him furiously: Why did you do that? What's wrong with you?

Son: Nothing, dad. It's just a phase.

Father: You're grounded.

The avengers walk into a bar

Except vision. He phased.

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The Queen of England visits a hospital....

And while she is there, the doctor is showing her his most peculiar patients. He brings her to the first patient, and they catch the man inside masturbating ferociously. The Queen is clearly outraged while the doctor doesn't appear to be phased at all by this. The Queen turns to the doctor and says...

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Story Time

So when I was a kid, I was a total nerd. Excelled in class, but I was bullied a lot. There was this really cute girl in my class. I was absolutely in love. I introduced myself to her and we got to talking. She immediately friend zoned me. I'm hurt, but I'm like, whatever. She's amazing and man, if n...

What did the teenage Gibbous moon say to its mother?

"It's not just a phase, MOM!"

Sure, white people can't say the "n word"

But at least we can say phases like "thanks for the warning officer" and "hey dad."

When I was a kid, I knocked out the power in my house.

Mom said it was just a phase.

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