I have an oxygen addiction

I tried to quit, but after a few minutes I was feeling blue.

Two hydrogen atoms and an oxygen atom had a threesome...

Made me so wet.

I asked my friend to lend me some Oxygen and Potassium.

He said O-K.

When I heard the joke about oxygen and magnesium, I was like..

OMg

If a chemistry student is too stupid to learn about Oxygen,

does that make him an oxymoron?

Did you hear that Oxygen and Magnesium hooked up last night?

OMg!

My friend said that he replaced the Oxygen with Uranium in a water molecule.

I was like, "HUH?"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man is in hospital bed wearing oxygen mask over his mouth. (NSFW)

"Nurse", he mumbles. "Are my testicles black?" Nurse raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand & his testicles in the other, ...she takes a close look & says, "There's nothing wrong with them Sir." Man pulls off the oxygen mask, smiles at her & says very slowly. "Thanks for that, it w...

Who wants to hear a joke about oxygen and potassium?

No one?

OK.

Three atoms, hydrogen, helium, and oxygen walk into a bar.

They go up to the bartender, Germanium, and start to order their drinks, but soon realise they are short on cash.

Hydrogen says to Germanium, "Hey man, we've had a long week, bonding is hard. If we can make you laugh, can we drink for free tonight?"

Germanium thinks about it for a min...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.

A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.
'Nurse,' he mumbles from behind the mask. 'Are my testicles black?'

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, 'I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet.'

He struggles to ask again, 'Nurse, please ...

What did Oxygen say when he realized he is losing an argument with Hydrogen?

“OH”

Oxygen, Hydrogen, Sulfur, Sodium, and Phosphorus walk into a bar.

The bartender says: "OH SNaP"

hey guys im trying out jokes, What do you get when oxygen and iron meet?

Ah darn, I forgot the punchline. Sorry guys Im a little rusty

Oxygen and potassium went on a date...

...it went ok.

Oxygen and magnesium went on a date.

The other chemicals were like 'omg'!

Two noble gases went on a date.

There was no reaction.

Two protons went on a date.

There was no attraction.

Hydrogen and chlorine went on a date.

They felt...

My social life is like an oxygen mask

Nonexistant unless something bizarre happens

What did the scientist said after mixing oxygen and magnesium?

O Mg

An oxygen atom was looking forward to a threesome,

Instead the poor guy got ozoned.

Do you ever just accidentally infuse an extra atom of oxygen into your water?

Fear not, H2O2 is H2O too

There was boy named Billy and he wasn't very smart

He lived with his mother in a small town. Nobody liked him because he was really stupid, least of all his school teacher who was always annoyed with him.

One day Billy's mother came to the school to learn how her son was doing. The teacher plainly told the mother that her son was a complete...

Consuming Oxygen is a dangerous addiction.

People just keep inhaling it till they die.

Do I know any jokes about sodium, bromine and oxygen?

NaBrO

Oxygen tried to pick a fight with Helium

Helium didn't react at all, he simply rose above, Carbon was watching the whole thing and said, "That's very noble of you"

A guy goes in his car and gets out of the parking lot...

When suddenly, while going in reverse, he hits something with his car.
He immediately goes out and sees an Italian guy unconscious.
He takes him immediately to the hospital.
The sentence is clear: The guy is in a coma.
He anxiously waits outside for him to wake up.
After some time, he...

I was going to write a chemistry joke but all the good ones...

No who am I kidding? There are Nitrogen Oxygen Neon

Oxygen and iron are on a date

Oxygen and iron are on a date at a karaoke bar and everyone is telling them to go sing. So they say "we're a little rusty but we'll give it a shot"

What is oxygen's favourite place?

The O zone

I was told that the friendship between sodium, potassium, and oxygen was bad.

I said, "Na. Pretty sure it is OK."

A science teacher tells his class, "Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773."

A blonde student responds, "Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it."

What do you call a super watered down liquor with all the oxygen removed?

Hydro-gin

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Why is oxygen like sex?

Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

Hey, did you hear that Carbon and Oxygen broke up?

Yeah, it turns out their relationship was actually pretty toxic. Personally, I never saw it.

Two Hydrogens walk into a bar and spot an Oxygen

Feeling adventurous, they approach her and ask "Hey baby, can we interest you in a waterway?"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What did the sexual deviant hydrogen say to the oxygen?

Do you like bondage?

My favorite elements in the periodical chart are oxygen and potassium.

But most other people just find them O K.

An oxygen atom and a potassium atom were involved in a car accident

Fortunately, they came out OK

I told my friend an oxygen joke which he didnt get at first

Until he finally went "O"

did you hear Oxygen and Magnesium got together

**OMg**

All I knew, till last week Oxygen was dating Potassium

But they said it was just **OK**

So Hydrogen finally admitted to Sodium that she had been bonding with Oxygen

Sodium reacted violently.

What do you call it when Oxygen and Nitrogen train at the gym together?

Air conditioning

If Donald Trump was asked "If oxygen was discovered in 1783, how could human breathe before", this would probably be his answer.

I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me, and they ask me. They say, 'How do people breathe before the discovery of oxygen'? And I tell them, look, we know what oxygen is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of chemistry you c...

Why did prince Oxygen inherit the throne after the king died?

Because he was the rightful heir

How many electrons does a negatively charged oxygen atom have?

Nion

What do you call the iron-stealing, oxygen-depleting metalloproteins that lurk in the red blood cells of all vertebrates?

Hemogoblins.

My chinese friend's grandfather got hit by a bus.

He was lying in his hospital bed when I came to visit him.
I had only entered the room when he began gasping and wheezing.
Worrying that he may be dying ,I quickly went near him and asked if he had any last words.
He then spoke in his native language, after a pause, in a very whispery tone...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Why is there a hole up the middle of a man's penis ?

To supply oxygen to the brain.

I don’t know why everyone is so upset about untraditional family structures, it’s been happening in the animal world for years. For example, all water buffalos have three parents

One oxygen buffalo and two hydrogen buffalos.

So an oxygen molecule walks into a bar... [biochem joke]

and goes up to the bar and orders a drink. As the bartender hands the Oxygen it's drink he notices the small molecule petrified with fear. He notices this and quickly realizes hemoglobin sitting alone in a corner booth with an obvious attraction to oxygen. The bartender looks and says to Oxygen "Don...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Notes from an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast:

Recently I was honoured to be selected as an outstanding famous celebrity in Texas, to be a judge at a Chili cook-off, because no one else wanted to do it. Also the original person called in sick at the last moment, and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to th...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

This should be a standard response to chemistry jokes

Flourine Uranium Carbon Potassium

Yttrium Oxygen Uranium

Arsenic Sulphur Tungsten Iodine Phosphorus Einsteinium

:)

I still remember my grandfather's last words before he passed away

"Son, you are stepping on the oxygen tank"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A guy is lying in his hospital bed

He is wired up with drips and monitors, breathing with the aid of an oxygen mask. A young lady comes round the ward with the tea and newspaper trolley. Approaching him she asks if there is anything she can do for him. The guy looks at her and asks "Are my testicles black?"


"I’m sorr...