Two hydrogen atoms and an oxygen atom had a threesome...

Made me so wet.

I have an oxygen addiction

I tried to quit, but after a few minutes I was feeling blue.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is in the hospital wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth.

"Nurse" he mumbles. "Are my testicles black?"

The nurse lifts up his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other...she takes a close look and says "There's nothing wrong with them, sir."

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly "Thanks ...

Oxygen and Potassium went out on a date

And everything was OK

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A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.

A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, pleas...

My friend is addicted to oxygen.

He keeps telling me he can’t live without it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is sex and oxygen similar?

They’re both unimportant, unless you’re not getting any.

What do you call someone who is afraid of the protein which transports oxygen throughout the blood

a hemophobe

Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorus walk into a bar.

OH SNaP!

I knew a chemist who survived solely on oxygen and potassium.

When I asked him what he felt like, he said OK.

Oxygen and Magnesium went on a date

Everyone was like “OMg!”

Oxygen and potassium went on a date...

...it went ok.

Oxygen and magnesium went on a date.

The other chemicals were like 'omg'!

Two noble gases went on a date.

There was no reaction.

Two protons went on a date.

There was no attraction.

Hydrogen and chlorine went on a date.

They felt...

I tried to create a great new chemical compound using oxygen and potassium...

It wasn't great, it was just OK.

Potassium and Oxygen hooked up

It would have been OK, if Potassium hadn't come first.

Bonus: Oxygen, Hydrogen, and Carbon always wear their best suits when they get together. They're a formyl group.

My buddy told me a joke about oxygen and potassium

It was O K

A physicist, a chemist, and a statistician walk into an office to discover the trash can is on fire.



The physicist announces "We must put the garbage can in the fridge so that the temperature will be below the ignition temperature and therefore put itself out!"

The chemist replies "No, we must cover the garbage can so that the fire consumes all of the oxygen and, in the absence of re...

TIL a Goose's beak is composed of 4 elements: Hydrogen, Oxygen, Nitrogen, and Potassium.

HONK

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All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge...

"I should be in charge," said the brain , "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."





"I should be in charge," said the blood , "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd waste away."





"I should be in charge,...

Oxygen and potassium went for a date and it was OK

After, Oxygen was found cheating on potassium by dating magnesium. That was an OMg moment

hey guys im trying out jokes, What do you get when oxygen and iron meet?

Ah darn, I forgot the punchline. Sorry guys Im a little rusty

What do you call an aquarium filled with liquid nitrogen?

Oxygen defishent.

You wanna hear about the time I gave my girl a shot of sodium, bromine, and oxygen?

NaBrO

If a chemistry student is too stupid to learn about Oxygen,

does that make him an oxymoron?

My friend said that he replaced the Oxygen with Uranium in a water molecule.

I was like, "HUH?"

My wife left me because she said I kept leaving oxygen tanks around the house.

I thought that they created atmosphere.

Do you ever just accidentally infuse an extra atom of oxygen into your water?

Fear not, H2O2 is H2O too

Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed.

The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But bef...

My social life is like an oxygen mask

Nonexistant unless something bizarre happens

Oxygen tried to pick a fight with Helium

Helium didn't react at all, he simply rose above, Carbon was watching the whole thing and said, "That's very noble of you"

Three atoms, hydrogen, helium, and oxygen walk into a bar.

They go up to the bartender, Germanium, and start to order their drinks, but soon realise they are short on cash.

Hydrogen says to Germanium, "Hey man, we've had a long week, bonding is hard. If we can make you laugh, can we drink for free tonight?"

Germanium thinks about it for a min...

An oxygen atom was looking forward to a threesome,

Instead the poor guy got ozoned.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The year is 2100. Earth has been ravaged by a variety of natural and man-made disasters. All the flatlands are now seabeds after the ice caps have melted. Most of the planet's land is barren wasteland. Barely any oxygen is produced, and most animal life has died out.

All you can hear is cockroaches and The Rolling Stones 2100 Tour.

Eminem is that guy in chemistry class that raps the whole periodic table.

But skips Oxygen.

The guy is in the hospital on the verge of death,

full of tubes to keep him alive as long as possible. The family calls the priest to give him the final rites. When the priest sits at the head of the dying man, his condition seems to deteriorate rapidly, and he frantically gestures for something to write. The priest gives him a pad and a pen, and t...

Consuming Oxygen is a dangerous addiction.

People just keep inhaling it till they die.

What did the scientist said after mixing oxygen and magnesium?

O Mg

Hey, did you hear that Carbon and Oxygen broke up?

Yeah, it turns out their relationship was actually pretty toxic. Personally, I never saw it.

A science teacher tells his class, "Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773."

A blonde student responds, "Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it."

What is oxygen's favourite place?

The O zone

What do you call it when Oxygen and Nitrogen train at the gym together?

Air conditioning

I was told that the friendship between sodium, potassium, and oxygen was bad.

I said, "Na. Pretty sure it is OK."

What do you call a super watered down liquor with all the oxygen removed?

Hydro-gin

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the sexual deviant hydrogen say to the oxygen?

Do you like bondage?

Oxygen and iron are on a date

Oxygen and iron are on a date at a karaoke bar and everyone is telling them to go sing. So they say "we're a little rusty but we'll give it a shot"

Two Hydrogens walk into a bar and spot an Oxygen

Feeling adventurous, they approach her and ask "Hey baby, can we interest you in a waterway?"

did you hear Oxygen and Magnesium got together

**OMg**

All I knew, till last week Oxygen was dating Potassium

But they said it was just **OK**

So Hydrogen finally admitted to Sodium that she had been bonding with Oxygen

Sodium reacted violently.

My favorite elements in the periodical chart are oxygen and potassium.

But most other people just find them O K.

An oxygen atom and a potassium atom were involved in a car accident

Fortunately, they came out OK

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy was recruited for the first settlement on another planet....

The Settlement Chief met him on the landing site.

"This place is going to take some getting used to. It's like a mirror version of Earth. The elements which are rare on Earth are the most abundant here while the common elements are extremely rare."

"So why are we here then," the guy a...

Why did prince Oxygen inherit the throne after the king died?

Because he was the rightful heir

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Are my Testicles black?

One day an old man was taken into the recovery room he had a biopsy, he also had an oxygen mask on. The nurse walks in and takes his vitals to which he asks "Are my testicles black?". The nurse looks confused and brushes it off. When shes done he asks again "Are my testicles black?". Again she ignor...

If Donald Trump was asked "If oxygen was discovered in 1783, how could human breathe before", this would probably be his answer.

I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me, and they ask me. They say, 'How do people breathe before the discovery of oxygen'? And I tell them, look, we know what oxygen is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of chemistry you c...

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