My wife left me because she said I kept leaving oxygen tanks around the house.

I thought that they created atmosphere.

Oxygen and potassium went for a date and it was OK

After, Oxygen was found cheating on potassium by dating magnesium. That was an OMg moment

You wanna hear about the time I gave my girl a shot of sodium, bromine, and oxygen?

NaBrO

I have an oxygen addiction

I tried to quit, but after a few minutes I was feeling blue.

Two hydrogen atoms and an oxygen atom had a threesome...

Made me so wet.

My friend said that he replaced the Oxygen with Uranium in a water molecule.

I was like, "HUH?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is in hospital bed wearing oxygen mask over his mouth. (NSFW)

"Nurse", he mumbles. "Are my testicles black?" Nurse raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand & his testicles in the other, ...she takes a close look & says, "There's nothing wrong with them Sir." Man pulls off the oxygen mask, smiles at her & says very slowly. "Thanks for that, it w...

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The year is 2100. Earth has been ravaged by a variety of natural and man-made disasters. All the flatlands are now seabeds after the ice caps have melted. Most of the planet's land is barren wasteland. Barely any oxygen is produced, and most animal life has died out.

All you can hear is cockroaches and The Rolling Stones 2100 Tour.

If a chemistry student is too stupid to learn about Oxygen,

does that make him an oxymoron?

hey guys im trying out jokes, What do you get when oxygen and iron meet?

Ah darn, I forgot the punchline. Sorry guys Im a little rusty

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.

A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only
here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse...

I asked my friend to lend me some Oxygen and Potassium.

He said O-K.

Three atoms, hydrogen, helium, and oxygen walk into a bar.

They go up to the bartender, Germanium, and start to order their drinks, but soon realise they are short on cash.

Hydrogen says to Germanium, "Hey man, we've had a long week, bonding is hard. If we can make you laugh, can we drink for free tonight?"

Germanium thinks about it for a min...

Who wants to hear a joke about oxygen and potassium?

No one?

OK.

What did Oxygen say when he realized he is losing an argument with Hydrogen?

“OH”

Oxygen and potassium went on a date...

...it went ok.

Oxygen and magnesium went on a date.

The other chemicals were like 'omg'!

Two noble gases went on a date.

There was no reaction.

Two protons went on a date.

There was no attraction.

Hydrogen and chlorine went on a date.

They felt...

Oxygen, Hydrogen, Sulfur, Sodium, and Phosphorus walk into a bar.

The bartender says: "OH SNaP"

Do you ever just accidentally infuse an extra atom of oxygen into your water?

Fear not, H2O2 is H2O too

What did the scientist said after mixing oxygen and magnesium?

O Mg

My social life is like an oxygen mask

Nonexistant unless something bizarre happens

An oxygen atom was looking forward to a threesome,

Instead the poor guy got ozoned.

Oxygen tried to pick a fight with Helium

Helium didn't react at all, he simply rose above, Carbon was watching the whole thing and said, "That's very noble of you"

Consuming Oxygen is a dangerous addiction.

People just keep inhaling it till they die.

There was boy named Billy and he wasn't very smart

He lived with his mother in a small town. Nobody liked him because he was really stupid, least of all his school teacher who was always annoyed with him.

One day Billy's mother came to the school to learn how her son was doing. The teacher plainly told the mother that her son was a complete...

I was told that the friendship between sodium, potassium, and oxygen was bad.

I said, "Na. Pretty sure it is OK."

A guy goes in his car and gets out of the parking lot...

When suddenly, while going in reverse, he hits something with his car.
He immediately goes out and sees an Italian guy unconscious.
He takes him immediately to the hospital.
The sentence is clear: The guy is in a coma.
He anxiously waits outside for him to wake up.
After some time, he...

A science teacher tells his class, "Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773."

A blonde student responds, "Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it."

What is oxygen's favourite place?

The O zone

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is oxygen like sex?

Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

Oxygen and iron are on a date

Oxygen and iron are on a date at a karaoke bar and everyone is telling them to go sing. So they say "we're a little rusty but we'll give it a shot"

What do you call a super watered down liquor with all the oxygen removed?

Hydro-gin

Hey, did you hear that Carbon and Oxygen broke up?

Yeah, it turns out their relationship was actually pretty toxic. Personally, I never saw it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the sexual deviant hydrogen say to the oxygen?

Do you like bondage?

Two Hydrogens walk into a bar and spot an Oxygen

Feeling adventurous, they approach her and ask "Hey baby, can we interest you in a waterway?"

What do you call it when Oxygen and Nitrogen train at the gym together?

Air conditioning

My favorite elements in the periodical chart are oxygen and potassium.

But most other people just find them O K.

An oxygen atom and a potassium atom were involved in a car accident

Fortunately, they came out OK

did you hear Oxygen and Magnesium got together

**OMg**

All I knew, till last week Oxygen was dating Potassium

But they said it was just **OK**

So Hydrogen finally admitted to Sodium that she had been bonding with Oxygen

Sodium reacted violently.

Why did prince Oxygen inherit the throne after the king died?

Because he was the rightful heir

How many electrons does a negatively charged oxygen atom have?

Nion

What do you call the iron-stealing, oxygen-depleting metalloproteins that lurk in the red blood cells of all vertebrates?

Hemogoblins.

So an oxygen molecule walks into a bar... [biochem joke]

and goes up to the bar and orders a drink. As the bartender hands the Oxygen it's drink he notices the small molecule petrified with fear. He notices this and quickly realizes hemoglobin sitting alone in a corner booth with an obvious attraction to oxygen. The bartender looks and says to Oxygen "Don...

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Why is there a hole up the middle of a man's penis ?

To supply oxygen to the brain.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An entry level nurse walks into a patient's room...

She smiles at him, and says shes just there to give him a sponge bath.

Through his oxygen mask , he asks; "Are my testicles black?"
The nurse is taken aback, and explains again shes just there to bathe him.

He asks again, more firm, "nurse, are my testicles black?!"

"I dont...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy was recruited for the first settlement on another planet....

The Settlement Chief met him on the landing site.

"This place is going to take some getting used to. It's like a mirror version of Earth. The elements which are rare on Earth are the most abundant here while the common elements are extremely rare."

"So why are we here then," the guy a...

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