Two hydrogen atoms and an oxygen atom had a threesome...

Made me so wet.

I have an oxygen addiction

I tried to quit, but after a few minutes I was feeling blue.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is in an hospital bed wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth.

‘Nurse’, he mumbles. ‘Are my testicles black?’ Nurse raise his gown, hold his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other. She take a close look and says ‘there nothing wrong with them sir’. Man pulls off the oxygen mask, smile at her and says very slowly, ‘ Thanks for that, it was lovely but l...

My friend is addicted to oxygen.

He keeps telling me he can’t live without it.

TIL a Goose's beak is composed of 4 elements: Hydrogen, Oxygen, Nitrogen, and Potassium.

HONK

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

How did the date go?



It was OK

I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like...

...OMG!

What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.

A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only
here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse...

I tried to create a great new chemical compound using oxygen and potassium...

It wasn't great, it was just OK.

hey guys im trying out jokes, What do you get when oxygen and iron meet?

Ah darn, I forgot the punchline. Sorry guys Im a little rusty

Oxygen and potassium went on a date...

...it went ok.

Oxygen and magnesium went on a date.

The other chemicals were like 'omg'!

Two noble gases went on a date.

There was no reaction.

Two protons went on a date.

There was no attraction.

Hydrogen and chlorine went on a date.

They felt...

My wife left me because she said I kept leaving oxygen tanks around the house.

I thought that they created atmosphere.

Oxygen and potassium went for a date and it was OK

After, Oxygen was found cheating on potassium by dating magnesium. That was an OMg moment

You wanna hear about the time I gave my girl a shot of sodium, bromine, and oxygen?

NaBrO

My friend said that he replaced the Oxygen with Uranium in a water molecule.

I was like, "HUH?"

Man I hate organic chemistry

It can be so indecisive. Whenever I ask oxygen if it prefers a methyl group or an ethyl group it always responds: “Ether”.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.

"I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all ...

If a chemistry student is too stupid to learn about Oxygen,

does that make him an oxymoron?

Do you ever just accidentally infuse an extra atom of oxygen into your water?

Fear not, H2O2 is H2O too

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ok here is a very dark joke. NSFW

Hitler and Mussolini were a lot like hydrogen and oxygen.

One did the burning while the other supported it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The year is 2100. Earth has been ravaged by a variety of natural and man-made disasters. All the flatlands are now seabeds after the ice caps have melted. Most of the planet's land is barren wasteland. Barely any oxygen is produced, and most animal life has died out.

All you can hear is cockroaches and The Rolling Stones 2100 Tour.

I asked my friend to lend me some Oxygen and Potassium.

He said O-K.

Three atoms, hydrogen, helium, and oxygen walk into a bar.

They go up to the bartender, Germanium, and start to order their drinks, but soon realise they are short on cash.

Hydrogen says to Germanium, "Hey man, we've had a long week, bonding is hard. If we can make you laugh, can we drink for free tonight?"

Germanium thinks about it for a min...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Are my Testicles black?

One day an old man was taken into the recovery room he had a biopsy, he also had an oxygen mask on. The nurse walks in and takes his vitals to which he asks "Are my testicles black?". The nurse looks confused and brushes it off. When shes done he asks again "Are my testicles black?". Again she ignor...

What did the scientist said after mixing oxygen and magnesium?

O Mg

Oxygen tried to pick a fight with Helium

Helium didn't react at all, he simply rose above, Carbon was watching the whole thing and said, "That's very noble of you"

An oxygen atom was looking forward to a threesome,

Instead the poor guy got ozoned.

My social life is like an oxygen mask

Nonexistant unless something bizarre happens

Consuming Oxygen is a dangerous addiction.

People just keep inhaling it till they die.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is oxygen like sex?

Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

I don’t wanna drink water anymore.

2 hydrogen atoms are going at it, the one H atom says to the other, this is boring there’s no spark anymore, we should do something about this. The one hydrogen atom thinks about his friend oxygen atom, calls him up and tells him what’s up. So oxygen atom comes over and him and hydrogen atom start t...

A hydrogen molecule gets arrested.

His mother comes down to the police station to bail him out. She is met by the detective working the case.

I don’t understand it, says the mother. Hydrogen was always a good kid. I never had any problems til he met oxygen.

Don’t worry, says the detective. The situation is fluid but he...

A science teacher tells his class, "Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773."

A blonde student responds, "Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it."

I was told that the friendship between sodium, potassium, and oxygen was bad.

I said, "Na. Pretty sure it is OK."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy was recruited for the first settlement on another planet....

The Settlement Chief met him on the landing site.

"This place is going to take some getting used to. It's like a mirror version of Earth. The elements which are rare on Earth are the most abundant here while the common elements are extremely rare."

"So why are we here then," the guy a...

What is oxygen's favourite place?

The O zone

Hey, did you hear that Carbon and Oxygen broke up?

Yeah, it turns out their relationship was actually pretty toxic. Personally, I never saw it.

What do you call it when Oxygen and Nitrogen train at the gym together?

Air conditioning

Oxygen and iron are on a date

Oxygen and iron are on a date at a karaoke bar and everyone is telling them to go sing. So they say "we're a little rusty but we'll give it a shot"

What do you call a super watered down liquor with all the oxygen removed?

Hydro-gin

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the sexual deviant hydrogen say to the oxygen?

Do you like bondage?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

All of the organs of the body ...

All of the organs of the body got together to decide who should be their leader. The brain made it's argument first: "I am the center of consciousness and all thought. Clearly, I'm best suited for the job." Then the heart spoke up: "Regardless of how brilliant the thought or idea may be, without hea...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An entry level nurse walks into a patient's room...

She smiles at him, and says shes just there to give him a sponge bath.

Through his oxygen mask , he asks; "Are my testicles black?"
The nurse is taken aback, and explains again shes just there to bathe him.

He asks again, more firm, "nurse, are my testicles black?!"

"I dont...

Two Hydrogens walk into a bar and spot an Oxygen

Feeling adventurous, they approach her and ask "Hey baby, can we interest you in a waterway?"

My favorite elements in the periodical chart are oxygen and potassium.

But most other people just find them O K.

did you hear Oxygen and Magnesium got together

**OMg**

All I knew, till last week Oxygen was dating Potassium

But they said it was just **OK**

My girlfriend got me with a Sodium/Na pun...

I’d tell her a bad oxygen joke but I wouldn’t want the score to be 0-2.

If plants had wifi, we'd be planting them everywhere!

Too bad they only make the oxygen we need to live.

An oxygen atom and a potassium atom were involved in a car accident

Fortunately, they came out OK

So Hydrogen finally admitted to Sodium that she had been bonding with Oxygen

Sodium reacted violently.

My chinese friend's grandfather got hit by a bus.

He was lying in his hospital bed when I came to visit him.
I had only entered the room when he began gasping and wheezing.
Worrying that he may be dying ,I quickly went near him and asked if he had any last words.
He then spoke in his native language, after a pause, in a very whispery tone...

Why did prince Oxygen inherit the throne after the king died?

Because he was the rightful heir

If Donald Trump was asked "If oxygen was discovered in 1783, how could human breathe before", this would probably be his answer.

I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me, and they ask me. They say, 'How do people breathe before the discovery of oxygen'? And I tell them, look, we know what oxygen is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of chemistry you c...

I don’t know why everyone is so upset about untraditional family structures, it’s been happening in the animal world for years. For example, all water buffalos have three parents

One oxygen buffalo and two hydrogen buffalos.

What do you call the iron-stealing, oxygen-depleting metalloproteins that lurk in the red blood cells of all vertebrates?

Hemogoblins.

Does making a chemistry joke make you sound smart?

Nitrogen Oxygen.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The year: 2029. A brilliant scientist is constructing the first sentient artificial intelligence.

He's working out of his garage in San Francisco, living on charitable donations from his worried friends. He dropped out of college when he realized he could change the world — there's no going back; his life is dedicated to this project. At first, he is met with failure upon failure. But then, he r...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.