I have an oxygen addiction

I tried to quit, but after a few minutes I was feeling blue.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A man is in an hospital bed wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth.

โ€˜Nurseโ€™, he mumbles. โ€˜Are my testicles black?โ€™ Nurse raise his gown, hold his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other. She take a close look and says โ€˜there nothing wrong with them sirโ€™. Man pulls off the oxygen mask, smile at her and says very slowly, โ€˜ Thanks for that, it was lovely but l...

I tried to create a great new chemical compound using oxygen and potassium...

It wasn't great, it was just OK.

I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like...

...OMG!

Two hydrogen atoms and an oxygen atom had a threesome...

Made me so wet.

My friend said that he replaced the Oxygen with Uranium in a water molecule.

I was like, "HUH?"

You wanna hear about the time I gave my girl a shot of sodium, bromine, and oxygen?

NaBrO

My wife left me because she said I kept leaving oxygen tanks around the house.

I thought that they created atmosphere.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.

A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only
here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse...

Oxygen and potassium went for a date and it was OK

After, Oxygen was found cheating on potassium by dating magnesium. That was an OMg moment

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

The year is 2100. Earth has been ravaged by a variety of natural and man-made disasters. All the flatlands are now seabeds after the ice caps have melted. Most of the planet's land is barren wasteland. Barely any oxygen is produced, and most animal life has died out.

All you can hear is cockroaches and The Rolling Stones 2100 Tour.

hey guys im trying out jokes, What do you get when oxygen and iron meet?

Ah darn, I forgot the punchline. Sorry guys Im a little rusty

I asked my friend to lend me some Oxygen and Potassium.

He said O-K.

Oxygen, Hydrogen, Sulfur, Sodium, and Phosphorus walk into a bar.

The bartender says: "OH SNaP"

Oxygen and potassium went on a date...

...it went ok.

Oxygen and magnesium went on a date.

The other chemicals were like 'omg'!

Two noble gases went on a date.

There was no reaction.

Two protons went on a date.

There was no attraction.

Hydrogen and chlorine went on a date.

They felt...

If a chemistry student is too stupid to learn about Oxygen,

does that make him an oxymoron?

What did Oxygen say when he realized he is losing an argument with Hydrogen?

โ€œOHโ€

Do you ever just accidentally infuse an extra atom of oxygen into your water?

Fear not, H2O2 is H2O too

What did the scientist said after mixing oxygen and magnesium?

O Mg

Oxygen tried to pick a fight with Helium

Helium didn't react at all, he simply rose above, Carbon was watching the whole thing and said, "That's very noble of you"

My social life is like an oxygen mask

Nonexistant unless something bizarre happens

Three atoms, hydrogen, helium, and oxygen walk into a bar.

They go up to the bartender, Germanium, and start to order their drinks, but soon realise they are short on cash.

Hydrogen says to Germanium, "Hey man, we've had a long week, bonding is hard. If we can make you laugh, can we drink for free tonight?"

Germanium thinks about it for a min...

Consuming Oxygen is a dangerous addiction.

People just keep inhaling it till they die.

An oxygen atom was looking forward to a threesome,

Instead the poor guy got ozoned.

I was told that the friendship between sodium, potassium, and oxygen was bad.

I said, "Na. Pretty sure it is OK."

A science teacher tells his class, "Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773."

A blonde student responds, "Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it."

There was boy named Billy and he wasn't very smart

He lived with his mother in a small town. Nobody liked him because he was really stupid, least of all his school teacher who was always annoyed with him.

One day Billy's mother came to the school to learn how her son was doing. The teacher plainly told the mother that her son was a complete...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Why is oxygen like sex?

Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

Oxygen and iron are on a date

Oxygen and iron are on a date at a karaoke bar and everyone is telling them to go sing. So they say "we're a little rusty but we'll give it a shot"

What is oxygen's favourite place?

The O zone

A guy goes in his car and gets out of the parking lot...

When suddenly, while going in reverse, he hits something with his car.
He immediately goes out and sees an Italian guy unconscious.
He takes him immediately to the hospital.
The sentence is clear: The guy is in a coma.
He anxiously waits outside for him to wake up.
After some time, he...

What do you call a super watered down liquor with all the oxygen removed?

Hydro-gin

Hey, did you hear that Carbon and Oxygen broke up?

Yeah, it turns out their relationship was actually pretty toxic. Personally, I never saw it.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

What did the sexual deviant hydrogen say to the oxygen?

Do you like bondage?

Two Hydrogens walk into a bar and spot an Oxygen

Feeling adventurous, they approach her and ask "Hey baby, can we interest you in a waterway?"

What do you call it when Oxygen and Nitrogen train at the gym together?

Air conditioning

I was going to write a chemistry joke but all the good ones...

No who am I kidding? There are Nitrogen Oxygen Neon

My favorite elements in the periodical chart are oxygen and potassium.

But most other people just find them O K.

I told my friend an oxygen joke which he didnt get at first

Until he finally went "O"

An oxygen atom and a potassium atom were involved in a car accident

Fortunately, they came out OK

did you hear Oxygen and Magnesium got together

**OMg**

All I knew, till last week Oxygen was dating Potassium

But they said it was just **OK**

So Hydrogen finally admitted to Sodium that she had been bonding with Oxygen

Sodium reacted violently.

Why did prince Oxygen inherit the throne after the king died?

Because he was the rightful heir

If Donald Trump was asked "If oxygen was discovered in 1783, how could human breathe before", this would probably be his answer.

I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me, and they ask me. They say, 'How do people breathe before the discovery of oxygen'? And I tell them, look, we know what oxygen is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of chemistry you c...

What do you call the iron-stealing, oxygen-depleting metalloproteins that lurk in the red blood cells of all vertebrates?

Hemogoblins.

So an oxygen molecule walks into a bar... [biochem joke]

and goes up to the bar and orders a drink. As the bartender hands the Oxygen it's drink he notices the small molecule petrified with fear. He notices this and quickly realizes hemoglobin sitting alone in a corner booth with an obvious attraction to oxygen. The bartender looks and says to Oxygen "Don...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Ok here is a very dark joke. NSFW

Hitler and Mussolini were a lot like hydrogen and oxygen.

One did the burning while the other supported it.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Why is there a hole up the middle of a man's penis ?

To supply oxygen to the brain.

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