UPJOKE
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Nitrogen Jokes

What do you call it when Oxygen and Nitrogen train at the gym together?

Air conditioning

I asked my wife if she would get "Nitrogen" or "Dioxide" tattooed on her backside.

She said NO2 both

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hey girl, are you made of Copper, Nitrogen, Terbium, and Silver?

Because you are a CuNTbAg.

A scientist took a selfie while he was drinking liquid nitrogen

He was quoted as saying "It was the coolest shot I ever took"

What do you call an aquarium filled with liquid nitrogen?

Oxygen defishent.

What do you call a nitrogen atom having a 5-way orgy with 4 other hydrogen atoms?

Ammoooaaanium

I can tell a joke on nitrogen monoxide

but NO

A scientist cannot tell the formula for Nitrogen Oxide.

All of them say NO. Weird.

What happens to Nitrogen when you put it in direct sunlight?

It becomes DAYTROGEN!

Oxygen and Potassium went on a date, and apparently it was OK

But then we saw Oxygen getting together with Magnesium, and we were like, OMg Oxygen is cheating on Potassium! That is *not* OK!

But then when Nitrogen started flirting, Oxygen said NO.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My request for liquid nitrogen was denied by the principal.

Too cool for school!

A goose's beak is composed of hydrogen, oxygen, nitrogen and potassium.

HONK

Mr Bean and Einstein in a flight together.

Einstein: Hey Mr Bean, let's play a game. I would ask you a question. If you can't answer it, you will have to give me ten dollars. You ask me a question and if I can't answer it I would give you a thousand dollars.

Bean: Okay, we can play that.

Einstein: What's the percentage of Nitro...

Nitrogen triiodide will detonate violently due to random stray currents of air, the touch of a feather, or even a passing alpha particle.

... Still not as fragile as the male ego.

What four elements are you not allowed to bring to your job?

Nitrogen, sulfur, fluorine, and tungsten…because they are NSFW.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A list of puns

Here's a list of puns I've been collecting:

How do you throw a space party? You planet.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

Nope. Unintended.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.

A scarecrow says,...

Oxygen and potassium went on a date...

...it went ok.

Oxygen and magnesium went on a date.

The other chemicals were like 'omg'!

Two noble gases went on a date.

There was no reaction.

Two protons went on a date.

There was no attraction.

Hydrogen and chlorine went on a date.

They felt...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the Japanese chemistry teacher say when he mixed sodium and nitrogen?

NaNi???

Teacher: Nitrogen isn't a renewable resource.

Me: Can we fix that?

(Came up with this joke just a few hours earlier when my Bio teacher said this.)

So I put my finger in liquid nitrogen today..

And I am glad to inform you it's still more than 0K.

Hear are sum morre punny science jokes

How often do I tell chemistry jokes? Periodically.

Is Silicon the same in English as in Spanish? Si.

The last time I told a chemistry joke there was no reaction.

Chemistry puns Im in my element.

What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium

Ion-estly cant think of...

As a practical joke I arranged a bucket of liquid nitrogen so that it fell on our chemistry teacher when he opened the door.

He must have found it funny. He completely cracked up!

Want to hear a joke about nitrate? NO, NO, NO

What about nitrogen oxide? NO.

Does making a chemistry joke make you sound smart?

Nitrogen Oxygen.

I was in class one day..

I was in class one day and my my teacher asked me a question

Teacher: can you give me the chemical formula for nitrogen monoxide?

Me: NO

Corny jokes!

Q: Why can't a bicycle stand on its own?

A: Because it's two-tired.


Q: What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?

A: It becomes daytrogen.


Q: Where did Noah keep his bees?

A: In the Ark Hives!


Q: Can February March?

A: No, but Apri...

Help! I'm stuck in this gas chamber.

If I don't get out now I'll die from all this oxygen and nitrogen in 70 years!

Ole and Sven go to Hell

Ole and Sven, ignoring the -60 degree windchill warnings, froze to death while ice fishing in northern Minnesota and descend to Hell.

Coming to check on his new arrivals from up North, Satan is surprised to find Ole and Sven enjoying themselves, finally removing coats and hats that they've ...

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