What is the internal temperature of a Tauntaun?

Luke warm.

if you put a man in a place where the temperature is -273.15°C for a while, will he be alright?

Yeah, he will be 0K.

What is a baby pepper's favorite temperature?

Just a little chili.

How warm is a janitor's closet?

Broom Temperature.

“Sorry about the temperature down the mine today”

“It’s coal man”

Only SEVEN people die as temperatures as low as -42F wreak havoc across the American Midwest.

Apparently guns don't work in those temperatures.

Do you know what the internal temperature of a tauntaun is?

Luke warm

Seemed appropriate with all the Hoth stuff floating around.

What happens when the temperature drops during a torrential rain?

The weather goes straight to hail.

What temperature do you bake 2pi?

360 degrees.

Trigonometric joke I created myself

The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946 , the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees.

The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter.


Henry was curious and invited them into his office.


...

I asked a scientist what would happen if my body temperature hit absolute zero.

He said I'd be 0K

The emperor penguin mates at temperatures as low as -120 degrees F.

He is a frigid midget with a rigid digit.

What did the physicist say when he found out the temperature was -273 degrees Celsius?

0K

I was boiling a pot of water on max temperature

It went from 0 to 100 real quick

P.S sorry Americans

The average temperature outside Motown Records is

3 Degrees, 4 Tops

What do R. Kelly and current temperatures have in common?

They're both in the teens.

When I learnt that the coldest temperature in the universe is 0 Kelvin, I thought to myself,

That's an absolute unit right there

When does an increase in degrees not lead to warmer temperatures?

When you get your Masters in Art History, but you still can't pay the heating bill

A man got cooled to absolute zero temperature.

Last heard, he's 0K now.

What do you use to take a cow's temperature?

A thermoometer.

How do you bring beer to perfect serving temperature by angrily yelling at it?

I - SCOLD - BEER !

My deaf-mute postman has such a tough job. He starts work at 3am. In summer he gets attacked by dogs and in winter he has to brave through sub-zero temperatures. But in spite of all this....

I’ve never heard him complain

Did you hear about the guy who lived in absolute zero temperatures?

He’s 0K now!

If the average world temperature rises 2 degrees Celsius, mankind is doomed.

That is why America measures temperature in Fahrenheit.

Why don't Jedi measure temperatures in Kelvin?

Because only a Sith deals in absolutes.

If your body temperature decreased to -273 C°...

...you will still be 0K.

Two guys from Michigan die and wake up in hell.

Two guys from Michigan die and wake up in hell. The next day, the devil stops to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and bomber hats, warming themselves around the fire.
The devil asks them, "What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?"

The two guys reply, "Well, yo...

Person 1: Hey, you wanna guess the coldest temperature?

Person 2: OK
Person 1: well?
Person 2: OK
Person 1: ... are you going to guess?
Person 2: OK!
Person 1: Are you okay?
Person 2: No I’m actually about 37 C

How warm is a baby at birth?

Womb temperature.

Whats the temperature inside of a ton-ton?

Lukewarm.

My Dad and I walk outside in sub-zero temperatures, and he's wearing a t-shirt.

Me: "Dad, it's really cold, don't you want to wear a coat?"
Dad: "I'm just exercising my second-ammendment rights."
Me: "........."
Dad: "My right to bare arms."

What temperature is best for helping babies grow?

Womb temperature.

My friend's body temperature is currently -273.15 °C

Don't worry though, he's 0K.

What device is best to measure a mother's temperature?

A ther-mom-meter

From my 10 year old who had the flu the past couple of days.

What's Darth Vader's least favorite temperature?

Luke warm.

^^im ^^sorry

News: Trump inauguration met with record high temperatures.

451 degrees Fahrenheit.

What do you call a sea that prefers the temperature outside to be between 31.2 °C and 33.1 °C?

The Specific Ocean.

A: Took my temperature today.

B: Oh really?
A: No, rectally.

Darth Vader: What is the temperature of my son's lightsaber?

Lukewarm.

Two Canadians die and end up in Hell.

The devil decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.

They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."

The devil, annoyed, storms away and goe...

My girlfriend is like the temperature of a molecule.

Doesn't exist by definition.

A very religious man's child was caught with measles....

The man put the child in his bed and trusted God to rescue him. A neighbor came by and said, “His temperature will soon be too high and will cause irreparable health problems, let me give him some medicine.”


“No thanks” replied the religious man. “I’ve prayed to God and I’m sure he will ...

Saw a good one earlier and got inspired to do something similar

I'll give it try. Since this is my first ever post on this sub, I hope you guys let me down easy.


One day, Larry walked past a TV store. On the screen of the fattest flat-screen TV, a national news-broadcast was running a story about an object from outer space on a collision course with E...

I think this is pretty well-known but people on this sub seem to like reposts so here y'all go:

Question on a university chemistry class midterm:

​

\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\* Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? > > Most of the students wrote proofs of their...

Whats a baby's favourite temperature?

Womb tempertaure

A Tampa man dies and goes to Hell.

A Tampa man dies and goes to hell.

When he gets there, the devil comes over to welcome him. The devil then says, “Sometimes it gets pretty uncomfortable down here.”

The man says, “No problem. I’m from Tampa.”

So the devil goes over to the thermostat, turns the temperature up to ...

Why are normal human body temperatures around 98.7*F?

Because we're all a little obtuse.

A necrophiliac would say: "I like my coffee like I like my women...

room temperature.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The Sami temperature scale

(ed: the Sami are an indigineous people living in the northern parts of Scandinavia, also called Lapland)

+10°C: Inhabitants of Helsinki turn off the heat. The Sami plant flowers.

+5°C: If the sun rises over the horizon, it's sunbathing time for the Sami

+2°C: Italian cars won't...

Republicans and Democrats never agree on anything

Republicans said the temperature is -40° F
And democrats immediately said it was -40° C.

I burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night

I should have cooked it at aloha temperature

Absolutely livid. I bought a Hawaiian pizza for lunch and I've just burned it.

Should've cooked it on aloha temperature.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Two students are taking a physics exam

One of them enters and the professor says:

-Imagine you are riding a train and its really hot inside. What would you do?

-Well,i'd open the window.

-Excellent. Now, the windows surface is 1,5m^2, your compartments volume is 12m^3, train is going west at the speed of 80km/h, the ...

One day a man decided to retire...

He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and
proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.

He soon finds himself on an island with no other
people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.

After about four months, he is lying on the beach one ...

My daughter was diagnosed with a pneumonia

I’m not sure where else to post this. This sub feels most fitting, but it’s been a long night. Please advise where it may be better suited if you’d like.

So our night sucked but had a silver lining in my two year old daughter’s comedic timing. We had to rush her to the ER at 3:00am (vomiting ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

DIARY OF A POM IN WESTERN AUSTRALIA

August 31
Just got transferred with work from Leeds UK to our new home in Karratha , Western Australia .
Now this is a town that knows how to live!
Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings.
I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool yesterday.
It was beautiful.
I've fi...

Open it!

My wife and her friend were out to lunch when the temperature drastically dropped. They stood by her friend’s truck, shivering, while the friend searched for a key to unlock the door. My wife asked, “Can’t we sit in the truck while you find your keys?”

My pregnant wife asked me if I ever worried it would be too hot for the baby inside her…

I said, “Nah, it’s probably womb temperature.”

A new nurse starts working at the hospital and is assigned to go take the vitals of the patients on the floor.

A second nurse is assigned to follow her to make sure she does it right and to check her work. The new nurse is chatting about how her nursing school is really pushing all kinds of new modern techniques and she can't wait to use them every day.

In the first patient's room, the nurse takes the...

The Nasa Parker Solar probe will be 4 million miles away from the sun

Due to the high temperatures it will have to operate at night.

There has been some controversy lately...

...about what would happen if you put a lightsaber in water. Would it break? Would the water heat up or cool? Recent scientists have discovered the water will heat to about the internal temperature of a tauntaun...luke warm.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

{Long} The Red Indian chief

just died right before the winter, after ruling for 40 years. His son became the new chief. According to the tradition, to prove his worth as the leader, he has to correctly speculate how cold would be the winter this year. With his guidance, people will gather right amount of wood for the whole win...