This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

I just found out explosive diarrhea is an actual thing.

That shit blows.

What do you get when you cross a dog and some explosives?

A treat seeking missile.

what does explosives and herpes have in common?

fire in the hole!

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Explosive Gas

So three people got on small airplane. A Japanese Guy, an Australian guy, and an American guy.

During the plane ride the Japanese guy opened the window and tossed his prized Katana out the window and said "This is for my country" .

Later, the Austrailian guy opened the window and toss...

If A is for Apple and B is for Banana, what is C for?

Plastic explosives.

What do you call a deer wearing an explosive vest?


What do you call an explosive monkey?

A baboom.

What did one terrorist tell the other terrorist when asked where to get explosives?

"See for yourself."

A Sensitive Guy (NSFW-ish)

A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.

They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the ...

What do you call an explosive cow in the winter?

An a-bomb-in-a-bull snowman!

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

What do you call a jewish explosive?

A mazel tov cocktail!

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

When you say "poop" your mouth moves in the same way your anus does.

The same goes for "explosive diarrhea".

(True story) one time my school was flooded with explosive gas. They canceled school for the next three days.

We had a blast.

A guy with explosive diarrhea was eager to tell a joke

He couldn't hold it in

What do you call an explosive that donates at absolute zero?

0K Boomer

A guy exploded himself after asking me what damage could explosives do

All i said is "c4 yourself"

What did the redditor say when he robbed a bank with explosives?

Edit: Wow, this blew up! Thanks for the gold!

What do you call an explosives specialist from Oklahoma?

OK boomer

So my friend put down three explosives.

For some reason, I C4.

There's an ultracryogenic explosive that's perfectly safe until it's cooled to absolute zero.

0 K boomer.

If A is for Apple

and B is for bear

What is C for?

A nice explosive that goes BOOM!

What did the explosives specialist say when he was about to hit the switch on his first bomb?

Please let this blow up

I keep trying to come up with a joke about explosives

But they all blow up in my face

Did you hear about lactose intolerant terrorist?

He has explosive diarrhea

My grandads old place has this old fence that for some reason seems to be impossible to remove. Tonight I'm going to try explosives

Edit: Wow I didnt expect this post to blow up as much as it did!

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

An evil black knight and a holy white knight meet on the field of battle

The black knight calls out to his opponent, "behold the power of my sturdy lance and my steed! We will conquer this land and enslave its people on behalf of the dark wizard!"

The white knight responds, "nary have I enountered such a vile and wicked man! The people of this holy land shall rem...

What do vending machines, explosives and a cross-eyed seeing two people have in common?

C4, and there's a chance someone might get hurt.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

An *explosive* rhyme

There once was a girl named Jill...

Who tried a dynamite stick for a thrill...

They found her vagina in South Carolina

And bits of her tits in Brazil.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Doctor: Sir, Iโ€™m afraid that you are suffering from explosive diarrhea

Man: Ah shit, here we go again

My explosive diarrhea must be hereditary...

...because it runs in my jeans.

An explosives expert liked to blow up bombs beside the city's underground septic lines. One day, while planting a device, he made a fatal mistake...

The newspapers called him a sewer side bomber.

Suicide Bombers donโ€™t like to be called explosives

They self identify as fireworks

My friend is an arms dealer. He has a Holiday sale right now where he's selling explosives for $1 each

It's a bang for your buck.

What type of explosives do frogs use?

FROGmentation grenades.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Did you hear about the male pornstar who accidentally put explosives in with his laundry?

He blew his load everywhere!

A terrorist struck a local farm, setting off explosives inside the farmer's prized steer, blowing it to smithereens, but apparently committing no other mischief. The crime scene investigator had these words at the press conference...

"Abominable. Simply abominable."

What's a pirate's favorite explosive?


This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Why are dildos the best kind of tank shell?

Theyโ€™re both penetrative *and* explosive.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Today in chemistry we learnt about how Ammonium nitrate could be used in fertilizer and as an explosive.

That's when I knew we were dealing with some explosive shit

I just opened an explosive prayer mat business.

Prophets are through the roof.

Alfred Nobel got rich by selling dynamite

Growth was Explosive

I started a business putting explosives in prayer mats

Prophets are though the roof.

An explosive knock knock joke

My 11yr old son came up with this joke

Knock knock
Who's there?
Interrupting mountain


Mother: "How was school today, Bobby?"

Bobby: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"

Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"

Bobby: "What school?"

A friend of mine makes prayer mats with hidden explosives

I asked how his business is doing, he said: "Great! Prophets are through the roof!"

Former intelligence agent: "I have potentially explosive information on Trump's relationship with Russia."

Buzzfeed journalist: "Ok please go on."

Former intelligence agent: "I have information that a number of years ago, Donald Trump visits Russia."

Buzzfeed journalist: "Oh really? So then, what happens next?"

Former intelligence agent: "What happens next will shock you."

How do you commit suicide using remote explosives?

See for yourself

Whats the worst thing to hear when you have explosive diarrhea?

"Are you ticklish?"

My friend has a weird quirk: he gets explosive diarrhea and just can't contain himself when he sees a certain soccer player...

And boy, it's Messi.

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