The year is 1939, Soviet troops are marching on Finland

As they cross the border, the general hears a Finnish voice just over a hill saying "one Finnish soldier is better than 10 Soviet soldiers!".

The general laughs and sends 10 soldiers to take the hill, after a minute or so of gunfire, the same voice says "one Finnish soldier is better than 1...

What do you call a sixty year old that’s into explosives?

A boomer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the difference between an epileptic corn farmer and a prostitute with explosive diarrhea?

One of them shucks between fits.

What do you get when you cross a dog and some explosives?

A treat seeking missile.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just found out explosive diarrhea is an actual thing.

That shit blows.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had an episode of explosive diarrhea during a heist at the bank

Shit went down real fast

My sandwich had a bomb inside

I think I might have explosive diarrhoea

What do you call a deer wearing an explosive vest?

Bombi.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Explosive Gas

So three people got on small airplane. A Japanese Guy, an Australian guy, and an American guy.

During the plane ride the Japanese guy opened the window and tossed his prized Katana out the window and said "This is for my country" .

Later, the Austrailian guy opened the window and toss...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Taliban commander called a meeting.

-Fellow taliban fighters! Are we a great nation?!
- YEEEES!
- How come we still don’t have a nuke?!
- well... that’s a shame commander! Let’s get one!!
So they got together, built a huge rocket out of tree, emptied some space in the middle using axes, cooked some uranium-235 using old Am...

Alfred Nobel lived in poverty but soon turned around his fortune and became one of the richest people in world in just a decade ......

Quite an explosive growth I've to say

What do you call an explosive monkey?

A baboom

what does explosives and herpes have in common?

fire in the hole!

What did one terrorist tell the other terrorist when asked where to get explosives?

"See for yourself."

If A is for Apple and B is for Banana, what is C for?

Plastic explosives.

Hey I seem to have picked up a stomach bug

So far just explosive diarrhea. I will keep y’all posted as situation can best be described as fluid.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When you say "poop" your mouth moves in the same way your anus does.

The same goes for "explosive diarrhea".

A Sensitive Guy (NSFW-ish)

A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.


They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the ...

What do you call an explosive that donates at absolute zero?

0K Boomer

A guy with explosive diarrhea was eager to tell a joke

He couldn't hold it in

Somewhere over Belarus a pilot just had a radio call

Pilot to crew: We are requested to land immediately.

Please prepare the cabin.

Crew: Why, what is happening?

Pilot: Threat of an explosive.

Cew: What? What explosive?!

Pilot: The one they will fire at us if we don't.

What did the redditor say when he robbed a bank with explosives?

Edit: Wow, this blew up! Thanks for the gold!

A guy exploded himself after asking me what damage could explosives do

All i said is "c4 yourself"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man driving down the road sees a sign in front of a house that says “$5 for talking dog”

The man is perplexed and decides to pull over to investigate. After parking he walks up to the porch where a man is sitting in a rocking chair enjoying the day.

The driver asks “I saw your sign about a talking dog? Where can I see this dog?”

To which the man rocking simply points to th...

So my friend put down three explosives.

For some reason, I C4.

I keep trying to come up with a joke about explosives

But they all blow up in my face

There's an ultracryogenic explosive that's perfectly safe until it's cooled to absolute zero.

0 K boomer.

What did the explosives specialist say when he was about to hit the switch on his first bomb?

Please let this blow up

What's a pirate's favorite explosive?

M80

My grandads old place has this old fence that for some reason seems to be impossible to remove. Tonight I'm going to try explosives

Edit: Wow I didnt expect this post to blow up as much as it did!

My explosive diarrhea must be hereditary...

...because it runs in my jeans.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Doctor: Sir, I’m afraid that you are suffering from explosive diarrhea

Man: Ah shit, here we go again

What's the most explosive opening move in chess?

C4

What do vending machines, explosives and a cross-eyed seeing two people have in common?

C4, and there's a chance someone might get hurt.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An *explosive* rhyme

There once was a girl named Jill...

Who tried a dynamite stick for a thrill...

They found her vagina in South Carolina

And bits of her tits in Brazil.

Suicide Bombers don’t like to be called explosives

They self identify as fireworks

My friend is an arms dealer. He has a Holiday sale right now where he's selling explosives for $1 each

It's a bang for your buck.

A terrorist struck a local farm, setting off explosives inside the farmer's prized steer, blowing it to smithereens, but apparently committing no other mischief. The crime scene investigator had these words at the press conference...

"Abominable. Simply abominable."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the male pornstar who accidentally put explosives in with his laundry?

He blew his load everywhere!

An explosives expert liked to blow up bombs beside the city's underground septic lines. One day, while planting a device, he made a fatal mistake...

The newspapers called him a sewer side bomber.

I asked my cousin if business is booming.

He sells explosives.

I just opened an explosive prayer mat business.

Prophets are through the roof.

What type of explosives do frogs use?

FROGmentation grenades.

I started a business putting explosives in prayer mats

Prophets are though the roof.

What kind of Tick is explosive?

A dyna-mite.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Today in chemistry we learnt about how Ammonium nitrate could be used in fertilizer and as an explosive.

That's when I knew we were dealing with some explosive shit

Explosives

Mother: "How was school today, Bobby?"

Bobby: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"

Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"

Bobby: "What school?"

If A is for Apple

and B is for bear

What is C for?



A nice explosive that goes BOOM!

Explosive knock knock joke

"Knock knock"
"Who's there?"
"Allah"
"Allah who?"
"ALLAHU AKBAR!"

Former intelligence agent: "I have potentially explosive information on Trump's relationship with Russia."

Buzzfeed journalist: "Ok please go on."

Former intelligence agent: "I have information that a number of years ago, Donald Trump visits Russia."

Buzzfeed journalist: "Oh really? So then, what happens next?"

Former intelligence agent: "What happens next will shock you."

A friend of mine makes prayer mats with hidden explosives

I asked how his business is doing, he said: "Great! Prophets are through the roof!"

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