What do you call a sixty year old that’s into explosives?

A boomer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had an episode of explosive diarrhea during a heist at the bank

Shit went down real fast

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I just found out explosive diarrhea is an actual thing.

That shit blows.

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Explosive Gas

So three people got on small airplane. A Japanese Guy, an Australian guy, and an American guy.

During the plane ride the Japanese guy opened the window and tossed his prized Katana out the window and said "This is for my country" .

Later, the Austrailian guy opened the window and toss...

What do you get when you cross a dog and some explosives?

A treat seeking missile.

what does explosives and herpes have in common?

fire in the hole!

What do you call a deer wearing an explosive vest?

Bombi.

What did one terrorist tell the other terrorist when asked where to get explosives?

"See for yourself."

A Sensitive Guy (NSFW-ish)

A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.


They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the ...

If A is for Apple and B is for Banana, what is C for?

Plastic explosives.

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A man driving down the road sees a sign in front of a house that says “$5 for talking dog”

The man is perplexed and decides to pull over to investigate. After parking he walks up to the porch where a man is sitting in a rocking chair enjoying the day.

The driver asks “I saw your sign about a talking dog? Where can I see this dog?”

To which the man rocking simply points to th...

What do you call an explosive monkey?

A baboom

What do you call an explosive cow in the winter?

An a-bomb-in-a-bull snowman!

I asked my cousin if business is booming.

He sells explosives.

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What do you call a jewish explosive?

A mazel tov cocktail!

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When you say "poop" your mouth moves in the same way your anus does.

The same goes for "explosive diarrhea".

(True story) one time my school was flooded with explosive gas. They canceled school for the next three days.

We had a blast.

A guy with explosive diarrhea was eager to tell a joke

He couldn't hold it in

A guy exploded himself after asking me what damage could explosives do

All i said is "c4 yourself"

What do you call an explosive that donates at absolute zero?

0K Boomer

What did the redditor say when he robbed a bank with explosives?

Edit: Wow, this blew up! Thanks for the gold!

So my friend put down three explosives.

For some reason, I C4.

There's an ultracryogenic explosive that's perfectly safe until it's cooled to absolute zero.

0 K boomer.

What did the explosives specialist say when he was about to hit the switch on his first bomb?

Please let this blow up

I keep trying to come up with a joke about explosives

But they all blow up in my face

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Stinky farts are just like somehow putting a silencer on a bazooka...

Silent-butt, deadly and extremely explosive.









sometimes flammable too

A C-130 was being deployed from Peterson AFB, Colorado

An hour into the flight, the plane began losing altitude. Acting quickly, the pilot decided it was necessary to airdrop items to be tracked down later in order to reach the nearest airport.

First to go was the Base Commander's new Humvee. Next was a large crate of MREs. Finally, a crate of t...

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An *explosive* rhyme

There once was a girl named Jill...

Who tried a dynamite stick for a thrill...

They found her vagina in South Carolina

And bits of her tits in Brazil.

My grandads old place has this old fence that for some reason seems to be impossible to remove. Tonight I'm going to try explosives

Edit: Wow I didnt expect this post to blow up as much as it did!

My explosive diarrhea must be hereditary...

...because it runs in my jeans.

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Doctor: Sir, I’m afraid that you are suffering from explosive diarrhea

Man: Ah shit, here we go again

If A is for Apple

and B is for bear

What is C for?



A nice explosive that goes BOOM!

What's the most explosive opening move in chess?

C4

What do vending machines, explosives and a cross-eyed seeing two people have in common?

C4, and there's a chance someone might get hurt.

Suicide Bombers don’t like to be called explosives

They self identify as fireworks

An explosives expert liked to blow up bombs beside the city's underground septic lines. One day, while planting a device, he made a fatal mistake...

The newspapers called him a sewer side bomber.

My friend is an arms dealer. He has a Holiday sale right now where he's selling explosives for $1 each

It's a bang for your buck.

What's a pirate's favorite explosive?

M80

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the male pornstar who accidentally put explosives in with his laundry?

He blew his load everywhere!

A terrorist struck a local farm, setting off explosives inside the farmer's prized steer, blowing it to smithereens, but apparently committing no other mischief. The crime scene investigator had these words at the press conference...

"Abominable. Simply abominable."

What type of explosives do frogs use?

FROGmentation grenades.

What kind of Tick is explosive?

A dyna-mite.

I just opened an explosive prayer mat business.

Prophets are through the roof.

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Today in chemistry we learnt about how Ammonium nitrate could be used in fertilizer and as an explosive.

That's when I knew we were dealing with some explosive shit

I started a business putting explosives in prayer mats

Prophets are though the roof.

Explosives

Mother: "How was school today, Bobby?"

Bobby: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"

Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"

Bobby: "What school?"

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An evil black knight and a holy white knight meet on the field of battle

The black knight calls out to his opponent, "behold the power of my sturdy lance and my steed! We will conquer this land and enslave its people on behalf of the dark wizard!"

The white knight responds, "nary have I enountered such a vile and wicked man! The people of this holy land shall rem...

Former intelligence agent: "I have potentially explosive information on Trump's relationship with Russia."

Buzzfeed journalist: "Ok please go on."

Former intelligence agent: "I have information that a number of years ago, Donald Trump visits Russia."

Buzzfeed journalist: "Oh really? So then, what happens next?"

Former intelligence agent: "What happens next will shock you."

A friend of mine makes prayer mats with hidden explosives

I asked how his business is doing, he said: "Great! Prophets are through the roof!"

How do you commit suicide using remote explosives?

See for yourself

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