If A is for Apple and B is for Banana, what is C for?

Plastic explosives.

What did one terrorist tell the other terrorist when asked where to get explosives?

"See for yourself."

What do you call a deer wearing an explosive vest?

Bombi.

What do you call an explosive monkey?

A baboom.

What do you call an explosive cow in the winter?

An a-bomb-in-a-bull snowman!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a jewish explosive?

A mazel tov cocktail!

A guy with explosive diarrhea was eager to tell a joke

He couldn't hold it in

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When you say "poop" your mouth moves in the same way your anus does.

The same goes for "explosive diarrhea".

Where do fish go shopping for explosives?

The Sea-Floorium

(Yes, I am a dad)

What do you call an explosive that donates at absolute zero?

0K Boomer

A guy exploded himself after asking me what damage could explosives do

All i said is "c4 yourself"

What did the redditor say when he robbed a bank with explosives?

Edit: Wow, this blew up! Thanks for the gold!

If A is for Apple

and B is for bear

What is C for?



A nice explosive that goes BOOM!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An evil black knight and a holy white knight meet on the field of battle

The black knight calls out to his opponent, "behold the power of my sturdy lance and my steed! We will conquer this land and enslave its people on behalf of the dark wizard!"

The white knight responds, "nary have I enountered such a vile and wicked man! The people of this holy land shall rem...

What do you call an explosives specialist from Oklahoma?

OK boomer

There's an ultracryogenic explosive that's perfectly safe until it's cooled to absolute zero.

0 K boomer.

So my friend put down three explosives.

For some reason, I C4.

Terrorist groups in the Middle East have started surgically implanting improvised explosive devices inside the cattle that they drive through town on the way to market

The UN has described this practice as abominable.

Click for hint: >!(hint - say it out loud)!<

What did the explosives specialist say when he was about to hit the switch on his first bomb?

Please let this blow up

I keep trying to come up with a joke about explosives

But they all blow up in my face

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are dildos the best kind of tank shell?

They’re both penetrative *and* explosive.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An *explosive* rhyme

There once was a girl named Jill...

Who tried a dynamite stick for a thrill...

They found her vagina in South Carolina

And bits of her tits in Brazil.

My grandads old place has this old fence that for some reason seems to be impossible to remove. Tonight I'm going to try explosives

Edit: Wow I didnt expect this post to blow up as much as it did!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Doctor: Sir, I’m afraid that you are suffering from explosive diarrhea

Man: Ah shit, here we go again

Alfred Nobel got rich by selling dynamite

Growth was Explosive

My explosive diarrhea must be hereditary...

...because it runs in my jeans.

An explosives expert liked to blow up bombs beside the city's underground septic lines. One day, while planting a device, he made a fatal mistake...

The newspapers called him a sewer side bomber.

Suicide Bombers don’t like to be called explosives

They self identify as fireworks

What do vending machines, explosives and a cross-eyed seeing two people have in common?

C4, and there's a chance someone might get hurt.

My friend is an arms dealer. He has a Holiday sale right now where he's selling explosives for $1 each

It's a bang for your buck.

What type of explosives do frogs use?

FROGmentation grenades.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the male pornstar who accidentally put explosives in with his laundry?

He blew his load everywhere!

What's a pirate's favorite explosive?

M80

The phone Samsung released after the Note 7 was actually more explosive than it.

It was the Samsung Galaxy S8


p.s I know good jokes don't need explaining but this is an original lame joke. S8 is the chemical formula for Sulfur which is combustible

A terrorist struck a local farm, setting off explosives inside the farmer's prized steer, blowing it to smithereens, but apparently committing no other mischief. The crime scene investigator had these words at the press conference...

"Abominable. Simply abominable."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Today in chemistry we learnt about how Ammonium nitrate could be used in fertilizer and as an explosive.

That's when I knew we were dealing with some explosive shit

I just opened an explosive prayer mat business.

Prophets are through the roof.

I started a business putting explosives in prayer mats

Prophets are though the roof.

Explosives

Mother: "How was school today, Bobby?"

Bobby: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"

Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"

Bobby: "What school?"

A friend of mine makes prayer mats with hidden explosives

I asked how his business is doing, he said: "Great! Prophets are through the roof!"

Former intelligence agent: "I have potentially explosive information on Trump's relationship with Russia."

Buzzfeed journalist: "Ok please go on."

Former intelligence agent: "I have information that a number of years ago, Donald Trump visits Russia."

Buzzfeed journalist: "Oh really? So then, what happens next?"

Former intelligence agent: "What happens next will shock you."

How do you commit suicide using remote explosives?

See for yourself

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Franz was reading his book on death row...

It was the ‘storm of the century’. On death row, Franz was reading his religious texts, looking for God, even as the inmates of the neighbouring cells were having an explosive argument about who should get to shower first. ’14 days to execution’, Franz thought, as he physically and mentally trembled...

An explosive knock knock joke

My 11yr old son came up with this joke

Knock knock
Who's there?
Interrupting mountain
Interrup-
VOLCANO!!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young man is walking home from his job at a local software company

He worked late that night, and the sun had already fallen below the sky. The man enjoyed the two mile walk to work in the morning, but the cold of the night made the way back numb, rigid, and surreal. The man followed long, curving roads through the dark pine forests, illuminated by cold sunlight re...

WHEN A FLY FALLS INTO A CUP OF COFFEE

WHEN A FLY FALLS INTO A CUP OF COFFEE . . .
The Italian – throws the cup, breaks it, and walks away in a fit of rage.
The German – carefully washes the cup, sterilizes it and makes a new cup of coffee.
The Frenchman – takes out the fly, and drinks the coffee.
The Chinese – eats the fly a...

Whats the worst thing to hear when you have explosive diarrhea?

"Are you ticklish?"

My friend has a weird quirk: he gets explosive diarrhea and just can't contain himself when he sees a certain soccer player...

And boy, it's Messi.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the guy that had explosive diarrhea whilst camping?

That shit was in tents

I came home and told my mum we were playing with explosives in science.

Mum: what are you doing in school tomorrow.

Me: what school?

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