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Explosive Jokes

What do you call an explosive monkey?

A baboom

If A is for Apple and B is for Banana, what is C for?

Plastic explosives.

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I just found out explosive diarrhea is an actual thing.

That shit blows.

What's a pirate's favorite explosive?

M80

What do you call a deer wearing an explosive vest?

Bombi.

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Explosive Gas

So three people got on small airplane. A Japanese Guy, an Australian guy, and an American guy.

During the plane ride the Japanese guy opened the window and tossed his prized Katana out the window and said "This is for my country" .

Later, the Austrailian guy opened the window and toss...

What's the most explosive opening move in chess?

C4

What did the redditor say after a stranger gave him a piece of explosive gold?

Thanks for the gold, kind stranger

Edit: Wow didn’t expect this to blow up.

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When you say "poop" your mouth moves in the same way your anus does.

The same goes for "explosive diarrhea".

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what did the Indonesian man suffering from explosive diarrhea say on August 27th 1883

"CRAPATOA"

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An *explosive* rhyme

There once was a girl named Jill...

Who tried a dynamite stick for a thrill...

They found her vagina in South Carolina

And bits of her tits in Brazil.

Explosives

Mother: "How was school today, Bobby?"

Bobby: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"

Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"

Bobby: "What school?"

What is the difference between a long term spouse and a volcano?

With enough years of study and observation, one can predict a volcano’s explosive tendencies.

An explosive knock knock joke

My 11yr old son came up with this joke

Knock knock
Who's there?
Interrupting mountain
Interrup-
VOLCANO!!!

My explosive diarrhea must be hereditary...

...because it runs in my jeans.

Explosive knock knock joke

"Knock knock"
"Who's there?"
"Allah"
"Allah who?"
"ALLAHU AKBAR!"

I just opened an explosive prayer mat business.

Prophets are through the roof.

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I had an episode of explosive diarrhea during a heist at the bank

Shit went down real fast

What kind of Tick is explosive?

A dyna-mite.

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What is the difference between an epileptic corn farmer and a prostitute with explosive diarrhea?

One of them shucks between fits.

A guy with explosive diarrhea was eager to tell a joke

He couldn't hold it in

Explosive Opportunity

A British engineer started his own business in Afghanistan.
He's making landmines that look like prayer mats. He says that prophets are going through the roof.

what does explosives and herpes have in common?

fire in the hole!

The year is 1939, Soviet troops are marching on Finland

As they cross the border, the general hears a Finnish voice just over a hill saying "one Finnish soldier is better than 10 Soviet soldiers!".

The general laughs and sends 10 soldiers to take the hill, after a minute or so of gunfire, the same voice says "one Finnish soldier is better than 1...

Where do fish go shopping for explosives?

The Sea-Floorium

(Yes, I am a dad)

What do you get when you cross a dog and some explosives?

A treat seeking missile.

A Sensitive Guy (NSFW-ish)

A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.


They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the ...

I tried to rob a bank by blowing up the safe. Things were going well but there was just one problem.

I bought some cheap dynamite that was advertized as "The inexpensive explosives that won't break the bank."

So my friend put down three explosives.

For some reason, I C4.

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Doctor: Sir, I’m afraid that you are suffering from explosive diarrhea

Man: Ah shit, here we go again

There's an ultracryogenic explosive that's perfectly safe until it's cooled to absolute zero.

0 K boomer.

A uranium atom and a plutonium atom are having a rough patch in their marriage. They try therapy and eastern alternatives but it just doesn't work out. They end up getting divorced but can't agree on a settlement, so they decide to split 50/50

The word around town is that the courtroom was really toxic and explosive

What do you call an explosives specialist from Oklahoma?

OK boomer

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What's a Jewish pyromaniac's favorite explosive?

A Mazeltov Cocktail

What type of explosives do frogs use?

FROGmentation grenades.

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What do you call a dinosaur with explosive diarrhea?

A shitty-sore-ass.

A guy exploded himself after asking me what damage could explosives do

All i said is "c4 yourself"

Suicide Bombers don’t like to be called explosives

They self identify as fireworks

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans.

He loved them dearly, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat explosive effect on him.


One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, “she’ll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like this,” so...

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Did you hear about the guy that had explosive diarrhea whilst camping?

That shit was in tents

Former intelligence agent: "I have potentially explosive information on Trump's relationship with Russia."

Buzzfeed journalist: "Ok please go on."

Former intelligence agent: "I have information that a number of years ago, Donald Trump visits Russia."

Buzzfeed journalist: "Oh really? So then, what happens next?"

Former intelligence agent: "What happens next will shock you."

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